Buddhism vs. Spirituality: When to Call Yourself A Buddhist? ft. Ray Choo (Director and Producer of Waking Up 2050)

Buddhism vs. Spirituality: When to Call Yourself A Buddhist? ft. Ray Choo (Director and Producer of Waking Up 2050)

Summary:

In our newest episode, we delve into the intricate journey of spiritual identity with our special guest, Ray Choo, director and producer of Waking Up 2050 šŸŽ¬. From his personal experiences to the broader concepts of Buddhism, Ray sheds light on embracing the Buddhist identity as a commitment to the path of wisdom and compassion, and unravel the evolving perceptions of religion and spirituality in today’s world.

About the Speakers

šŸ‘¤ Ray Choo Hongrui was born and raised in Singapore. He studied Communications Design in Berlin, Germany, at HTW Berlin-University of Applied Sciences where he had the opportunity to try his hand at filmmaking and storytelling and experience a world where Buddhism, its meanings and functions are not established. The conversation in the West is just gaining momentum and presence. In trying to contribute to this dialogue, Ray redefined for himself what it means, to walk the path of Dharma. Through WAKING UP 2050, he met his teacher Lopen Pema Deki with whom he took his precepts and continues to study the Dharma. Ray currently works and resides in Berlin as a motion designer.

Key Takeaways:

The Journey of Embracing the Buddhist Identity

Ray’s narrative unveils the intricate journey of self-identification as a Buddhist. Despite being born into a Buddhist family, he embarked on a profound exploration of his spiritual identity. Through pivotal life events, including his father’s stroke and the sudden loss of a friend, Ray found himself grappling with the essence of Buddhism and its relevance in his life. His decision to formally take refuge in Buddhism was not merely a label but a commitment to a path of wisdom and compassion.

The Practicality of Buddhist Practice

The conversation emphasizes the practicality of Buddhist teachings in navigating life’s challenges. Ray vividly recounts instances where his newfound Buddhist perspective provided solace and guidance to those around him. From offering comfort to grieving friends to sharing insights on the grieving process, Ray illustrates how Buddhist principles transcend mere rituals, offering tangible support and wisdom in times of need. Buddhism, as Ray articulates, is not confined to temples or scriptures but is deeply embedded in the fabric of everyday life, offering practical tools for navigating its complexities.

Embracing the Journey with Openness

A recurring theme throughout the conversation is the importance of embracing the journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth with openness and humility. Kai Xin and Ray explore the nuances of spiritual identity, challenging conventional notions of labels and boxes. While acknowledging the significance of formal ceremonies like taking refuge, they also underscore the fluidity of spiritual exploration. Buddhism, as they affirm, is not a rigid structure but a dynamic path that evolves with each individual’s journey.

In essence, the conversation between Kai Xin and Ray Choo serves as a poignant reminder of the multifaceted nature of Buddhism and the profound impact it can have on one’s life. Beyond labels and rituals, Buddhism offers a transformative journey towards wisdom, compassion, and self-realization. As Ray eloquently concludes, it is not about reaching a destination but embracing the path with sincerity and an open heart.

Transcript:

Full Transcript

[00:00:00] Kai Xin: All right. Today we have a very special guest on our Handful of Leaves podcast where we bring you practical Buddhist wisdom for a happier life. We have Ray with us whom I’ve met at THIS Buddhist Film Fest last year, 2023. He is the director and producer of Waking Up 2050. So welcome Ray to our podcast.

[00:00:21] Ray Choo: Thanks so much for having me. I’m so flattered and honored to be here that you want to hear my thoughts.

[00:00:27] Kai Xin: No, I mean, I feel honored to have you here. So what is Waking Up 2050?

[00:00:34] Ray Choo: Waking Up 2050 is a contemplation about Buddhism, its relevance in the hypothetical future, far future and the very present examined through perspectives of truth, kindness, and beauty.

[00:00:45] Kai Xin: In the film, you actually interviewed a few people to share their thoughts about what it means to be Buddhist, right? And it was interesting to me that after the film was screened, we had this post-dialogue and you said that it was only recently that you identified yourself as one. So I’m very curious as to what made you decide that I can call myself a Buddhist now?

[00:01:08] Ray Choo: If it only was like just waking up to be like, Oh, here I am. No. On paper, I was always Buddhist. But only two years ago I’ve taken refuge and committed myself in ceremony to this identity. The opportunity came up when, my teacher, Lopen Pema Deki, offered it to the Sangha. And thankfully I was in the right mindset to see the importance of it and say, okay, yes, I’ll do it. My parents, they’ll say that it’s just ritual. You don’t need to take refuge. It’s all superficial, superstitious. You just need to have it in your heart. What’s up, what’s with all the fuss, right? But for me, leading to that moment to see the significance and the gravity of taking refuge was a lifetime or maybe many lifetimes of experiences and events.

Quite often it is when life takes a difficult turn that you see where your mind is at. Yeah, some major events in my life made me feel ready at that moment. So in 2019, my father had a stroke and at that time I was still in Berlin. I think it was April Fool’s Day. I just started my first day at work and I had to get the first flight back. On the long way back home, I’ve never prayed so hard in my life. So much for a rational Buddhist, right? I was just praying to Guan Yin, Tara. And whether or not it was because of my prayers, my dad survived the stroke. I think it’s not a thing learned in a moment. It’s like a childhood of going to temples and at that moment it helped me, where logic and rationality have no place. You cannot do anything about it. Even then I didn’t officially call myself a Buddhist.

So, in 2021, a few years later… I don’t know if you’re familiar with the film John Wick. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So it’s kind of like a wild caricature experience of samsara, you know? So at that time I just finished school and I was looking for a job and a friend said, Hey, there’s a gig for quick money. Do you want to come along and just show up? I said, okay, fine. I’ll show up. I had to show up to this crazy set. It was being a movie extra on the set. I was dressed up in crazy colorful clothes. You have crazy lighting and you have people fighting everywhere, beautiful bodies moving and Keanu Reeves not dying, whatever they do to him.

And one of the other extras there I’ve met. So it was like a nine-day shooting. She’s this young German girl. We got on really well. There’s a lot of waiting in between every take and you can start to talk. She’s just starting her school studies being a social worker and she’s a great dancer. She’s a passionate dancer. So this young, vibrant life, right. When the filming wrapped up, in a WhatsApp group, we were just going to meet at this bar. And then came this message, Hey, sorry guys, but Leila’s in hospital. but before we could even process, a few hours later, the boyfriend said, she’s gone. We hear about death, we know people die, but it’s the first time to have that loss in front of my eyes.

So it’s very harrowing, even thinking about it now after so many years. But then I thought, oh, okay, what can I do? I’m sort of Buddhist, what can I do to help? Even without formal training, you sort of know, okay, after death there’s this process, right? I was sort of perplexed. Do I go Namo Amitabha? Like, would she know? Because she’s just German, she’s atheist. Like how would it help? So at that point Pema Deki was already my teacher. So I was just very lucky to be able to just message her and say, hey, this happened, what can I do? So she guided me and… I think in that moment, it became clear to me that, we always talk about precious human life, right? It’s just words until you really see a young, precious human life just gone and you’re faced with your own mortality.

 So Lopen Pema Deki, she taught me how to help her as much as I can without the Buddhist context. And then a few months later, again, I was confronted with the passing of a dear friend and it’s different this time. He is someone who lived to 82. He lived a long life. He saw me as his own son. Again, I got hit with, okay, someone dear to me is leaving. What can I do? Again, he’s not Buddhist, right? But then, what’s comforting for me was that even when his family, his sons, they aren’t Buddhist, I was able to offer that prayer and offer sort of guidance in the process. Okay, here’s what I’ve learned, the next 7 days, theoretically, this is what happens. We should do this. We should offer our thoughts, remind him of his good deeds in his life.

Even in a very non-Buddhist way, like, there’s no mention of Avalokiteshvara or anything, it helped them. It helped me also to face death. It’s a huge process, right? And having that knowledge, having that skill, I was able to be calm, and also extend that calmness, maybe also not make the situation worse. There is a program of action. Like, okay, this happens, what can we do? I could offer this. So when the moment came from my teacher, I said, okay I would offer a refuge ceremony. In my heart it’s a definite yes. Because I see the necessity to commit myself to the training for my parents, for friends, for loved ones or other people. I want to be able to be skillful and to be able to provide support in those situations. And so yeah… sorry, that’s a really long answer.

[00:06:19] Kai Xin: No, it’s beautiful how things unfold. You were born a Buddhist like on paper. Same as I am. But innately you’re already having faith of this thing beyond ourselves, right? That prayers work, there’s some form of faith that divine intervention does work, and our sincerity in sending our good wishes to people. So you have all those things. And then what you saw was the divine messengers in the Buddhist context. We see old age, sickness and death. And you met two of those very, very upclose. And it got you to think like, wow, life is very transient.

So when the opportunity struck for you to formally commit, and I guess it’s also like an accountability ceremony, I can’t take this just as a joke. Sometimes I want to be a little bit better. Some days I want not to be so wholesome. It’s like, okay, I’m Buddhist. I’m walking a Buddhist path and there’s benefit, not just to ourselves, but to other people. And for you, it almost seemed like you were more motivated because committing to the training helps you to support the people around you.

[00:07:21] Ray Choo: Yeah, definitely. That’s definitely a pragmatic and practical aspect to it. Compassion and wisdom, they’re not fuzzy, fluffy ideas. They have a practical function. Even Buddhist rituals, we dismiss them very easily, we look down on them. But then, there are domains in life where rationality has its limits and in those intuitive and emotional parts of life, you need wisdom. You need to learn how to cope and use it constructively. I was just thankful that I had this Buddhist experience, even though it was maybe messy and not focused. But you know, when life puts obstacles in your face and even though it’s not clear yet, I do see the point of this goal. Yeah.

[00:08:05] Kai Xin: Yeah. It’s interesting because my path was a little bit different. So for you, you took the official ceremony in order to be like, okay, I’m a Buddhist now. Right. I’m committed. Yeah. There wasn’t really like a day where I feel like, okay, I am one. But I suppose the closest thing was when I went to the Buddhist center at a youth service and then we had to read the five precepts.

[00:08:29] Ray Choo: Right. Yeah.

[00:08:29] Kai Xin: And it felt like it’s not a commandment, but it’s kind of like an aspiration that, hey, you know, I’m going to try to refrain from all these not-so-wholesome acts. And there is power in reciting those because I need to be accountable to myself. And this is a constant reminder when I do it every week. Some people might feel like the formal ceremony of going to take refuge is not so important because I think that’s more prominent in some traditions, like the Tibetan and the Mahayana. For the Theravada tradition, maybe the more formal ceremony would be to don the robes and shave your head maybe temporarily or permanently, not sure. But while we don’t need this formal ceremony to say, okay, you’re a Buddhist now, it does have some form of symbolic meaning to help us practise and walk the path. But having said that also, it’s not to say like, okay, now I have the certificate or I’ve taken refuge. I can break the precepts and not practice virtue as well as concentration and wisdom. It’s like a constant thing. Sometimes we fall behind, sometimes we backslide and then we stand up again.

So I’m very curious about how do you define what a Buddhist or a good Buddhist is? Is it about like being able to pray or like when your friends are in need?

[00:09:49] Ray Choo: No, that’s just like the side effects. I think the main thing is commitment, not to an external divine being or some abstract idea, but you know, it’s like anything, right? Even doctors have to take vows. It’s really about taking responsibility to actually know that this is my path to walk and there’s no one else to blame. It’s my actions. It’s what I do from now on, right.

It’s in a way like growing up. I think in all aspects of life, the moment you take on responsibility, accountability, then you’re starting to grow up. Being Buddhist is not about, I just go to temple when things are fine or not fine. It’s all day, every day, it’s a cultivation.

And to answer your question of how do I define a Buddhist? I actually have to go and ask my teacher because I think we all know the standard definition of a Buddhist, right? Like someone who has taken refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Or someone who was born in a Buddhist country. So more like countries in Thailand, Bhutan, where Buddhism is the fabric of life. Or people who have the view, right?

But when you ask me this question there’s this big elephant in the room. What about people who, like me, as a kid, I just go to the temple without having this clear thought of, okay, I’m going to a temple for Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. I didn’t have that as a kid, but does that count? I actually had to consult my teacher and she said, short answer, yes. Because if you go to the temple, even to a Guanyin temple, there are Dharma texts there and Guanyin is also an embodiment of Buddha and noble Sangha, right? (Guan Yin is a) Bodhisattva, and she has a Buddha on the crown. And also the custodians, the people working at the temple, the Sangha, so the monastics there. So in a very subtle, basic level, yes, I think that still counts as Buddhist. but I think

[00:11:38] Kai Xin: And then what is the non basic level?

[00:11:40] Ray Choo: The non basic level, I think like for you and for me, when we decide to take on that responsibility, I think that brings us to another level where it’s more, for lack of a better word, more powerful. You’re more conscious of what you’re doing. It’s not so random anymore. You know, it’s a conscious effort. Like, I want to be a conscious agent of wisdom and compassion, right? I want to put this into my life.

[00:12:00] Kai Xin: We truly see the benefits of it as well, instead of just going with the motion of like the rites and the rituals without knowing what the meaning is. But it’s more of like the wisdom piece, which you mentioned quite a few times, right?

Like what is the ultimate goal? It’s to free ourselves from greed, hatred, and delusion. And how do we do that? Avoid evil, do good and purify the mind. So it is the path. The Buddha has laid out the Noble Eightfold Path and all Buddhas have taught the same thing. It’s like slowly erasing the delusion that we have, and then the sense of urgency and responsibility to practice becomes even more because we know that, I’m still subject to old age, sickness and death. And as long as I am still in the cycle of birth and death, I can’t be freed from this. So we know we’ve got things to do. Yeah. Like the Buddha has really given us the cure, right? We are considered as patients and he’s the doctor, why don’t we take his medicine, which is very, very effective.

[00:13:00] Ray Choo: And also by taking refuge, it’s not like a level-up. But it’s more like I’ve taken refuge and then I realized that there’s still so much more to learn. I think wherever any Buddhists are at it’s good to have moments of reflection and to check-in with yourself. Where am I now? Where’s my mind at now? Because that informs all your actions, your relationships with your parents, your friends.

[00:13:23] Kai Xin: Would you say that after you have gone through the formal ceremony, you’re a little bit different from before? Before you formally identify yourself as a Buddhist?

[00:13:32] Ray Choo: I’ve got three heads and six arms now.

[00:13:34] Kai Xin: More special abilities.

[00:13:39] Ray Choo: I can levitate. No. In some ways, nothing’s changed, I’m still me. But in many ways, I think it changed. I think my confidence of saying, yes, I’m a Buddhist, it also gave them the confidence to approach me when they come to a difficulty. I feel so lucky that I was able to be their support even if it’s not just solving their problems. With even the limited amount of Buddhist training I’ve had so far, and I was able to skillfully see, okay, what do they need in this moment? Do they just need someone to listen or it’s not necessarily solving their problems. Like when my colleague, their dog died, they didn’t know what to do. And they know that I’m Buddhist so they approached me and said, like, what do we do?

[00:14:18] Kai Xin: It brings comfort, right? Like being able to do something. Even though it’s not logical at all, like it’s not going to resurrect the pet or anything like that, but it has a very powerful effect.

[00:14:29] Ray Choo: Yeah, we shouldn’t underestimate the grieving process, dealing with death. We are so bad at goodbyes. We sort of like wish it away, there’s no goodbye. But I think it’s important to do a good goodbye.

I told him sort of about like the 49 days, about the seven days. Having this vague structure, it gave them a protocol to work on their grief, you know? I felt very, very lucky that I was able to provide that at that point. So there are these kind of benefits, being confident as to call yourself a Buddhist. You can apply yourself with more focus. You see a problem and you can go to the solution and not like guess what I can do.

[00:15:02] Kai Xin: I can resonate with that because I used to be very shy about this, like calling myself a Buddhist. I’m like, Oh, every weekend I go to the Buddhist center, I volunteer. Because it’s such an unfamiliar thing for a young adult to be doing. And I was afraid that I would weird people out.

[00:15:20] Ray Choo: Right. Yeah.

[00:15:21] Kai Xin: And the funny thing was when I started becoming more open and identifying myself as one and being okay with one. People come to me like, Hey, you know, I have this trouble, can you give me some suggestions. I think late last year, some of my primary school or secondary school friends, somehow we were connected on Instagram like many years ago. They saw me actively posting about Buddhist reflections. And then he asked me like, Hey, you know where can I learn more of this or I’d like to volunteer? And they were really sincere about it. So yeah, I thought it’s not a bad thing after all, because if people are searching, then you can be the source for them to share insights and wisdom or direct them to some better teachers.

Having that focus, which you mentioned is like, what do I use as a guide in my daily actions? What do I prioritize? Now it becomes very clear that, okay, in my day, are my activities to reduce greed, hatred, and delusion. Am I entangled in this world and getting distracted and intoxicated with my youth thinking that I have all the time in the world. And then I might still end up scrolling on social media and stuff. But then having that recollection to say, Hey, this is like Mara, the devil playing tricks on our mind. And then having that perseverance and knowing that, Hey, we’ve also got friends on the path with that same goal and same dedication and commitment. I can use them as an inspiration, then it becomes very motivating in some sense, rather than, like you say, very fuzzy, like, Oh, am I, am I not? Cause I know some people, they might not necessarily be very inclined to calling themselves a Buddhist, right? But yeah, I like Buddhist philosophy, so they might subscribe to different teachings.

So I’m not so sure on your thoughts about that. Do you think it’s absolutely important for one to at some point, consider themselves a Buddhist?

[00:17:12] Ray Choo: If it motivates them to take refuge and behave like a Buddhist. If that motivates them to do it, then yes. Then identify to your heart’s content. You’re committing to being a good human being in a skillful Buddhist way, and there’s nothing shameful about it. But I totally understand, you know, I grew up in Singapore as well, and I know till today there’s this huge cultural and social taboo. Like you don’t speak up about religion, right? Even some of my dear friends, very dear friends, I told them, Hey I’ve made a documentary about Buddhism. Here’s the link. Till today they have not seen it, you know, ’cause it’s religion.

So, I absolutely get the hesitance to be open about it that way. But as a Buddhist now, of course I’d be skillful. You have to see what’s the context. But I think in Europe, I’m kind of lucky in the sense that Buddhism has a good rep in a way. They see it as something more progressive and scientific. So there’s no baggage, so that’s lucky for me. But I do see the difficulties in the Asian context, in Singapore. When I took refuge, even my mom, her first reaction was, Oh, are you joining a cult?

[00:18:14] Kai Xin: Oh, interesting. But she was the one who brought you to temples, right?

[00:18:18] Ray Choo: That’s a strange thing, right? I think that’s a strange thing. In Singapore, we see temples, we see statues, but again, it’s familiar, but very foreign. Just because of this taboo thing, we don’t talk about it. It’s like Harry Potter and Voldemort, right? Like, he who shall not be named, we don’t talk about it. And I think with time, you sort of lose that connection to what it’s actually meant for, the functions and its meaning, its purpose. I think that’s also why young adults lose interest in Buddhism, right? Because it’s sort of in your face, but I don’t really know what it is, so I reject it because I don’t understand it. It’s purpose, it’s place in my life sort of got pushed into a very private thing. And what do we do in our private lives? We go to shopping malls and whatever we do.

So it’s very neglected. And I think that’s part of the development of modernization, right? You have the separation of secularity where religion or faith gets boxed into a very private thing. In terms of practicing Buddhism, for example, you lose connection to this tradition, I think.

[00:19:18] Kai Xin: What if someone says that, I can call myself spiritual rather than identifying with any religion because as a spiritual person, I mean, the definition is to seek out for the truth, right? It’s pretty much quite similar. You believe that there’s something beyond the self and you want to improve your own wellbeing and reach your fullest potential, et cetera. Then, would it be okay to call myself spiritual rather than religious or Buddhist?

[00:19:44] Ray Choo: Well, in the Buddhist point of view, anything’s okay. As long as, it puts you in the right view and right motivation. But, when I was younger, I was one of those people that said, Oh, I’m spiritual, I’m not religious. But I think it’s somehow a complicated thing as well. I found this out when I was doing research for the documentary. We have to be aware that they’re very modern terms. This split from religion and spirituality, it’s an academic split that came from the 90s.

[00:20:14] Kai Xin: Oh, so recent?

[00:20:15] Ray Choo: Yeah, very recent. Because they’ve been trying to define religion for many years. And then there’s this split where religion is something pertaining to God, right? It’s something that the worshiper worships externally to a higher being. And spirituality, which is I guess the rest. It includes Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, where it’s about the individual inward looking to find the sacred within. So that’s the definition of these two. And just briefly about religion. I think for any Buddhist or anyone interested in religion, there’s this scholar called Karen Armstrong, very erudite, very eloquent scholar. She wrote, there are many kinds of definitions about religion, right? And I think she put it in a very succinct way.

Religion is an art. You know, religion and scriptures, it’s an art. But art doesn’t mean that it’s not true. It doesn’t mean that it’s just fluff. Karen Armstrong, she says, in the pre-modern world, before modernity, there are two sort of ways of thinking. You have the mythological way and the logical way, Logos. Logos is where science is really good at, rationality, measurements, description of reality. But you have also mythos. I think some academics also try to remove it, but you really can’t. This superstition or emotional, irrational part of the human consciousness. That’s why we have so many legends, so many myths, right?

That’s like pre-modern psychology. And so we have to recognize that. The term for religion as a concept, as a modern invention, it started late 17th century, 18th century. So if you look in Greek or Latin, there’s no equivalent for the word religion. Like maybe Latin credo is I believe, but originally it’s called cordo, so to give your heart to something. So religion was never really about proclaiming I believe in whatever. It’s about giving your heart, committing to something. So this commitment, this action. Karen Armstrong defined it as a program of action. Religion, spirituality, it’s something that you work at. So it’s a practice. And I think we have to recognize that. And I think back in my youth when I was saying, Oh, I’m spiritual. I think it came from also the idea that… so we’ve got actual definitions, right? But I think back then I didn’t notice those definitions. And for me, and I think for many people, religion is something about control and it’s something backward and spirituality is like I get to decide what I want.

[00:22:46] Kai Xin: Yeah it feels more fluid. Cause religion kind of puts you in a box, right? It feels like you have to be obligated to do certain rituals, abide by the rules. And then it can be quite suffocating for some people, especially the younger generations who like to rebel and own their personality, like activism and rights and all of these, like a freedom of expression.

[00:23:07] Ray Choo: That’s kind of funny. But in a way, instead of I reject that box, I put myself in another box, spirituality.

[00:23:13] Kai Xin: That is true.

[00:23:15] Ray Choo: But I can definitely relate. I think everyone have had that stage in life where we went, let’s tear down the old and make something new, that notion we can all relate to. In the sense that the grass is always greener, right? I’ll adopt something different and call it my own. I guess it’s part of the consumer culture thing. We are so good at picking and choosing, I get to cherry pick. I decide what is useful for me, which is good in some sense, you work out what you need. But I think it’s easy to lose a sense of reverence for something that has thousands of years of human history and human lives working at it. Right? Who are we to just say, no, I can do better. I think it’s like arrogance of youth.

[00:23:52] Kai Xin: I don’t necessarily agree with that because the Buddha actually set out in search for the truth because he was like, yeah, there must be something better out there.

[00:24:00] Ray Choo: Yes, yes. He also set out in search for truth in terms of also rebelling against what he had. So this disruption is necessary. Well, at least the way I did when I was younger, like saying I’m spiritual, it is a disruption, but it’s not skillful. You know, it’s like…

[00:24:16] Kai Xin: I get what you mean.

[00:24:18] Ray Choo: I rejected, but I don’t do anything, I don’t have a good alternative to it you know. Instead I’m just at the doors and looking for other doors. That was the state I was in.

[00:24:29] Kai Xin: Right? Yeah. Thanks for clarifying that because I know some people also do see Buddhism as like a religion. And some people say like, no, it’s not a religion because we don’t believe in like the ultimate creator. And it’s really more of like a practice, an inner journey, an inner search. But then we do have rituals as a means to help us kind of still our mind and also cultivate wisdom. So I would say you’re right to say that sometimes when we put ourself in a box, it becomes problematic because there are just certain things that goes beyond logic and you can’t really use all these conventions and words to describe. But the focus is the same, right? You mentioned commitment many times. Like what makes us Buddhists or why is it important for us to call ourselves Buddhists? It’s only when it motivates us to act like one, which is do good, avoid evil, and purify the mind. And the benefit of that is you get a better life and people around you also get a better life because you are an improved version of yourself, like 2.0 or 3.0.

[00:25:32] Ray Choo: Yeah. So you can also argue that, Buddhism itself is a box. But this box is a beautiful box. It has a very beautiful destination, you know? Like provisionally it’s as helpful. Like anything, like any label. Labels are labels, but if that label helps you to be a better Buddhist, to be a better person, then by all means, right? If it opens up wisdom, if it makes you be wiser, kinder, then it is helpful and it is skillful. Yeah.

[00:26:00] Kai Xin: Yeah. And they also say to cross to the other shore, which is to attain Nibbana, ultimately, we also have to let go of that box or like the raft.

[00:26:08] Ray Choo: Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

[00:26:09] Kai Xin: Right. The very fetter that binds us to the cycle of birth and death is wanting to become or not wanting to become. And that form of self, like I am, this is mine. Sometimes it feels like a paradox, but it’s also very beautiful because it’s exactly that, that the journey of the practice evolves. So from not having a label to finding importance of identifying with a label and then seeing the benefits and then slowly letting that go. Yeah. And it’s not a linear thing.

[00:26:40] Ray Choo: No, exactly not. I think that’s also the thing about the modern mind, right? We’d like to see everything from point A to B, or just have things very simplified, or in bullet form. But, you know, I think Buddhism sort of speaks to people, because we’re all at different levels, right? And we always talk about how the Buddha has 84,000 methods because we are all at different stages of our mind, and we all have different needs.

[00:27:04] Kai Xin: So it’s not linear and everyone has a very different path, but the conventional destination is the same, which is to be free. So I hope this episode and this conversation does bring our audience some clarity and whether is it important to identify yourself as a Buddhist or not, it’s really up to you. Do you have any final advice for our listeners?

[00:27:28] Ray Choo: Yeah, I think for people who have hangups about taking refuge, I think there’s also this fear of commitment and fear of losing freedom. But, I think taking refuge, you have to ask yourself, how do you define freedom? Is watching Netflix your idea of freedom? And just investigate, find out what taking refuge actually means. For anyone who’s curious or interested in Buddhism, it’s fine to read books and stuff to gather knowledge. But I think ultimately it’s something you have to do. You have to walk it. You can learn, you can read all about swimming. But never touching water, then there’s a big disconnect, right? You have to jump into the pool and get wet, you know…

[00:28:03] Kai Xin: and you have to struggle first. Yeah. I know some people, they have the concept like, I can’t meditate, you know, my mind is restless. I can’t call myself a Buddhist. I’m not cut out for meditation or I still like to drink. I sometimes break the precepts. So nah, I can’t commit.

[00:28:17] Ray Choo: Yeah. And I think we have to remind ourselves that the Buddha didn’t just achieve all that in one lifetime, right? He spent many lifetimes, aeons, to get to that point. And we are all trying in our imperfect ways to follow his footsteps. My teacher always reminds us, just relax and do your best to just bring your mind back to what is important. All that elaboration, just drop it. Just focus.

[00:28:41] Kai Xin: Yeah, that’s very beautiful.

[00:28:43] Ray Choo: And I guess the final word for anyone who’s still wondering, just know that the time is now. And I wish I’ve done it earlier in life when I’m younger. I could memorize more things. There’s so much to learn now. I wish I could learn this when I’m in a younger mind. Yeah. So yeah, the time is now. If you’re wondering, if you’re curious, just take it.

[00:29:02] Kai Xin: Thank you for sharing. Very beautiful. So we covered a lot about what it means to be a Buddhist and the historic journey and transformation of how we came to be, how spirituality and religion became so prevalent as two words.

But it’s actually only very recently that these are kind of introduced to us from the academic standpoint. So that was interesting. And whether is it really important to call yourself a Buddhist? You the listeners can share with us in the comment section below. And thank you so much, Ray for sharing. For our listeners and audience, if you want to check out the documentary Waking Up 2050, can they find us online?

[00:29:43] Ray Choo: No, not yet. But I think soon there’ll be an opportunity to see it again online.

[00:29:47] Kai Xin: Okay, fantastic. And we’ll keep our audience posted.

[00:29:51] Ray Choo: Definitely.

[00:29:51] Kai Xin: All right. And until the next episode, may you stay happy and wise. Thank you.

[00:29:56] Ray Choo: Thank you.

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Confronting Silence: Night Lessons from a Cemetery Meditation

Confronting Silence: Night Lessons from a Cemetery Meditation

TLDR: Brace yourself for a wild ride as I dive into a thrilling graveyard meditation adventure. From serene sunset surroundings to nerve-wracking encounters, follow my rollercoaster journey as I explore fear, arming myself with the Three Jewels while battling the terror with breath meditation and metta.

A while back, I impulsively signed up for a cemetery meditation session with Palelai Buddhist Temple, promptly forgetting about it until just a week before the event. With no preconceived expectations, I approached the experience with a carefree mindset, blissfully unaware that it would be a departure from the usual temple retreat.

Mindfulness of death (maranasati) is one of the many meditation methods that we can practise when we sit. It is an awareness exercise to contemplate deeply about death and the impermanence of this body. Its purpose is to serve as a reminder that death can strike us at any moment, developing a sense of spiritual urgency so that we would practise with diligence.

Rightly practised, maranasati drives us to recognise the reality of the body and that it is of the nature to decay, providing us insight into the nature of existence.

Expectationsā€¦or not

As the date approached, a sense of excitement began to build. This was no ordinary meditation; it was a venture into the serene realms of Bukit Brown Cemetery.

With the anticipation rising, I started making a mental checklist of items to ensure maximum comfort ā€“ because let’s face it, who wants to deal with mosquitoes during a spiritual journey?

True to form, I found myself fashionably late for the briefing at Palelai, hastily scribbling my signature on the indemnity form before dashing for the transport bus.

As I shamefully took the last spot in line, I settled into my seat and peered out at the city’s iconic Singaporeā€™s Flyer and MBS skyline, watching it blur pass as the bus sped towards our destination.

The drive into the woods 

Upon our entry into Bukit Brown Cemetery, the bus navigated through tight and narrow paths, slowing down as we delved deeper into the forest. The sun was gracefully setting, casting a warm glow that painted the sky in hues of orange and pink.

Entrance to Bukit Brown Cemetery
Cr: The Travel Intern

Through the tall trees, the enchanting sunset peeked through, setting the stage for an evening of unique and deep introspection.

As I marvelled at the captivating canvas of colours stretching across the sky, my daydreaming was abruptly interrupted. Instructions echoed in my ears, ā€œif you see anything, hear anything, smell anything, donā€™t react ah. Just go back to your usual meditation object okā€ the volunteers urged us. Well-acquainted with anapanasati as my primary meditation object, the prospect of focusing on my breath seemed like a familiar journey.

The volunteers reassured us with the promise of three triumphant “sadhu” calls heralding the end of our two-hour meditation.

Venturing deeper into the woods under the guidance of the volunteers, we each received our own “individual tombstone” to set out our mats right in front of the tombstone and assumed our meditation postures.

Maintaining a respectful distance of at least two arm lengths (perhaps three for someone of my vertically challenged stature), I found myself positioned in the furthest reaches of the woods, I wasnā€™t sure whether to count myself lucky or the opposite.. :ā€™)

The mental and physical preparation before the long sitting

Before departing, the volunteers reiterated the crucial instruction: ā€œHear, see, smell anything donā€™t react ok! Try not to open your eyes!ā€ It suddenly dawned on me that this was no mere child’s play; my eagerness for a novel experience failed to prepare me for what lay ahead.

Was this about to be a friendly visitation from the resident friends, a thought that humorously crossed my mind?

Settling into the two-hour meditation session, an uncharted territory for someone accustomed to a maximum of 45-minute sits, I questioned my ability to endure this prolonged stillness.

Cross-legged and five minutes into the session, the uncle beside me made himself at home and comfortable by initiating a ā€œceremonial mosquito repellent ritualā€ by spraying his and my surroundings.

Shifting his position to face me instead of his designated tombstone, he playfully quipped, “Better to open my eyes to a human than a tombstone la, hor?” he joked. I chuckled, and we both assumed our individual meditation postures. Adjusting to the pervasive fragrance of insect repellent, generously applied by my fellow meditators, I took some time as we delved further into the sit, now approximately 15 minutes in.

..at this point I am aware that this sounds like an O-level English composition paper sia.

During the sit ā€” disturbed peace. 

Amidst the occasional insect crawls and bites, I choose to adopt a laissez-faire attitude, whispering to myself, “Juuust let it be; may they be well,” while sending metta to my tiny, buzzing companions. Settling into the unfamiliar environment proved challenging, aggravated by the ā€œfree perfumeā€ā€”courtesy of the mosquito repellentā€”that filled the air.

As I sat there for another 10 minutes or so, my peace was abruptly s.h.a.t.t.e.r.e.d.

Suddenly, footsteps, unmistakably human, began to circulate the perimeter of my mat. From the right, behind me, to the left. The rhythmic pacing continued, devoid of any verbal interaction. Convinced that I wasn’t conjuring this in my imagination, and equally certain that no volunteer was wandering at this hour, my heart raced, and my mind spun narratives of the mysterious intruder.

My imagination wove enough tales to send shivers down my spine. Panic set in, tempting me to open my eyes and confront the unknown, but fear held me back.

I clamped my eyes shut, becoming as still as a skeleton; a skeleton buried in fear. The footsteps prolonged and intensified; I could swear they were on my mat! My heart was palpitating so rapidly I thought I felt it right in my mouth.

The stomping got more frequent and much louder.

Amid this nerve-shattering circumstance, I recalled the two-syllable mantra: “Bud-dhoā€ as taught by the revered late Ajahn Chah. ā€œObserve, donā€™t reactā€ I desperately repeated in my mind. Channelling my focus back to my breath in between my upper lip and nostrils, I grappled with the mounting numbness in my legs.

The familiar urge to change posture arrived, as per my “biological clock” at the 35-minute mark, but fear paralysed me. I endured the discomfort, viewing it as an opportunity to push my mental and physical boundaries, contemplating the impermanence (anicca) of the sensation. I tried my best to observe the rise and fall of this phenomenon.

Cr: TimeOut Singapore

The deafening silence became almost unbearable, compounded by the chaotic narratives playing out in my mind about the bizarre stomping. I recalled Ajahn Brahm’s words, assuring that harm would not befall us as long as our moral conduct (sila) remained pure.

Yet, doubt crept inā€”was I truly leading a blameless life, worthy of the devas’ protection? Questioning my self-worth, I pondered whether I upheld the five precepts well enough. In that vulnerable moment, I found solace in the only certainty I could grasp: trust that I was okay.. I mean, what else could I do at that very moment? I was scared shitless.

In the course of my unnerving existential ordeal, a profound realisation dawned on me: if the Buddha had triumphed over challenges, then I, too, could navigate through this turbulent moment.

ā€œWhat the Buddha overcame, we too can overcome. What the Buddha attained, I, too, can attain”; a phrase that I chanted frequently in reverence to the Three Jewels entered my mind. Desperate situations call for desperate measures.

In those moments of utter panic, my faith in the Buddha intensified, and I found solace in recollecting his sublime qualities (Buddha Vadana), as if invoking his divine presence would shield me from harm. If Buddha, the perfectly enlightened being, knower of the worlds, said I could do it, then I can.

Almost surrendering to a higher power (lol), I unabashedly entrusted my fate to the Buddha. The grip of fear had grown so potent that I willingly sought refuge in the Three Jewels, pondering what the Teacher of gods and men would advocate in such a predicament.

Embracing the practice of buddhanusati, a peculiar yet fascinating deviation from the intended maranasati session, I extended my focus to spreading metta. With each loving-kindness meditation, I directed metta to those I cherished, those who invoked neutrality, and even those I found myself frightened by at that very momentā€”whatever form they might take.

It was an act of admitting to the universal truth that, despite our diverse appearances (forms), we are all bound in the cyclical nature of birth and rebirth, tethered by ignorance.

Contemplating the interconnectedness of all sentient beings, seen or unseen, I found comfort in the shared struggle within samsara, the countless cycle of continuous existence. Reflecting on the Buddha’s teachings on metta, I acknowledged the universal pursuit of happiness, a shared aspiration that transcends the boundaries of form.

In that moment of terror, the realisation that we are all yearning for joy, regardless of our current forms, illuminated a path of empathy and understanding.

After all, who’s to say that in the next life, I won’t be reborn in a form similar to those I feared at that very moment?

In acknowledging our shared journey in dukkha through samsara, I discovered an intense sense of compassion that extended beyond the confines of my immediate experience.

The internal monologue persisted, stretching on for what felt like another 15 to 20 minutes, or perhaps even moreā€”I couldn’t be certain, too petrified out of my wits to check the time. The mantra “Bud-dho” became my lifeline, a rhythm that echoed in my mind:

“Breathing in, I count 1. Breathing out, I count 1.

Breathing in, I count 2. Breathing out, I count 2.”

I repeated this sequence until the count of 5 before restarting the cycle. Gradually, my mind accepted this momentum of breathing in and out. In that unnerving silence, my sole companions were the rhythmic inhales and exhalesā€”my breath, my best friend, my unwavering ally.

ā€œSadhu sadhu sadhuā€ signifying the end of meditation

With my eyes still tightly shut, a sudden beam of light penetrated the darkness. Simultaneously, footsteps approached my side, and a volunteer whispered, “Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu” in my ear. Alas! Relief washed over me; hope had arrived. As I slowly rose, my eyes finally opened, revealing the human faces of the volunteers.

The revelation

After sharing merits and engaging in post-meditation chatter, the uncle who had faced me during the session expressed his admiration for my ability to sit completely still for the entire two hours.

Feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief, I refrained from admitting that my motionlessness was fuelled by sheer fright. As he sat facing me instead of the tombstone, he recounted observing a rat scurrying around, as if ā€œcircumambulatingā€ me throughout the meditation. Instantly, a sigh of relief escaped me, realising that my anxiety had been unwarranted.

Thinking back

That night, lying on my bed, I pondered the intriguing string of emotions during this unique experience. There were no supernatural entities on my meditation matā€”just the tumultuous workings of my mind. It became clear that my ordeal was a testament to the potent influence of fear and the resilience discovered in surrendering to the simplicity of breath and the present moment.

Reflecting on the situation, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of foolishness for concocting horror stories within my mind, wasting a good 30 minutes (or more!) in the process.

This experience served as a timely reminder of the impact of our mental constructions on perception. I undoubtedly fabricated unnecessary narratives, instilling fear within myself. Rather than noting the stomping footsteps with equanimity and continuing with my meditation, I allowed my mind to be engulfed in futile scenarios that sparked uneasiness.

In those moments of self-induced apprehension, the power of our cognitive processes became glaringly apparent.

There lies a fine line between understanding the nature of our thoughts and succumbing to the unnecessary panic that our minds can craft.

The entire encounter unfolded as a captivating rollercoaster of the mind. To my surprise, my smartwatch revealed that I had been in a state of sleep for 1 hour and 15 minutes out of the 2-hour meditation. Perhaps my heart wasn’t pounding as intensely as my vivid imagination had led me to believe. ā€œCould it be that the rapid heart hammering was yet another creation of my mind?ā€ I wondered to myself.

The revelation that the mysterious footsteps were nothing more than the movements of a rat brought an immediate dissolution of my fear. It was a vivid illustration of the concept of anicca, the impermanence inherent in all things.

Mental formations are unpredictable and unstable in nature- that was my main learning that evening. The agitation that had felt so concrete and real in my mind just moments ago, causing anxiety and distress, proved to be conditionalā€”lacking any permanent, unchanging, independent core.

What is there to be called a ā€œSelfā€? This heartfelt realisation left an indelible mark, emphasising the transient nature of our mental fabrications and the powerful influence of perception on our subjective reality.

There is nothing intrinsically scary in the dead of night. Fear is what our minds perceive. Fear is the mountain created out of a non-existent, empty molehill.

We can gain profound insights into the nature of existence, embracing the beauty of impermanence through maranasati. Let’s embark on this transformative journey together and unlock new depths of understanding. Mai tu liao!


 Wise Steps:  

  1. Practise Loving-Kindness (Metta) Meditation. Recognise the similarity in all sentient beings that even the tiniest creature or the unseen deserve our kindness and friendliness. Metta is non-discriminatory and extends beyond the human realm. 
  2. Be consistent in your practice. Consistency in practice is key to call on a calm and steady mind whenever required. A mind that is unfamiliar with tranquility would not naturally turn to peace in uncomfortable situations. 
  3. Embrace the unknown with equanimity. Whether dealing with discomfort, distractions, or unexpected events, try to let go and accept the situation as it is. Channel a mindset of equanimity, acknowledging the impermanence of sensations and external disturbances.
The Game-Changer in Buddhist Practice: Transforming Daily Life with ‘Buddho, Dhammo, Sangho’

The Game-Changer in Buddhist Practice: Transforming Daily Life with ‘Buddho, Dhammo, Sangho’

TLDR: How can the suttas and teachings aid us in our meditation journey? Paul shares his initial struggles and how the Buddhaā€™s discourse to Mahanama immensely helped him with his mindfulness and mental state.

My Past ā€” An On-and-off Meditator With Wavering Interest in Buddhism:

Even since learning about Buddhism and trying to study and practice it, I used to think the only practices to cultivate the mind were sitting meditation with eyes closed and walking back and forth slowly.

Since my first attempts to practice meditation back in 2009, I found it a very peaceful experience but also often beset by drowsiness. Furthermore, not long after completing the sitting meditation, after getting on with the activities of the rest of the day, the peaceful state was quickly lost and I didnā€™t feel noticeably different than if I had not meditated. 

Even after years of doing regular sitting meditation on and off and going on several multi-day meditation retreats, this problem persisted. It wasnā€™t hard to do sitting meditation, even for days at a time at a meditation retreat. I didnā€™t feel like it was having an effect for long after getting up off the meditation cushion. 

Even though I found the Buddhaā€™s teachings to be very wise and studied them in much depth, not seeing much benefit from the practices made me ambivalent and wavering about Buddhism as a whole. 

Turning point: The Buddhaā€™s Discourse to Mahanama the Sakyan

This problem persisted through many years until around the time I came to learn about one of the Buddhaā€™s discourses with Mahanama the Sakyan, one of the Buddhaā€™s foremost lay followers. 

In AN 11.12, Mahanama asks the Buddha: ā€œ…we spend our life in various ways. Which of these should we practice?ā€

In addition to specifying the cultivation of the 5 spiritual powers that should be cultivated to support awakening, the Buddha gives Mahanama six topics that should be recollected: The Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha, ethics, generosity, and devas.

The Buddha then tells Mahanama he should develop these recollections ā€œ…while walking, standing, sitting, lying down, while working, and while at home with your children.ā€

This stood out to me. These things can be done not just while doing sitting meditation or walking slowly back-and-forth for walking meditation but at any time and anywhere. 

What are the effects the Buddha lists of practising like this?

ā€œWhen a noble disciple recollects the Realized One their mind is not full of greed, hate, and delusion. At that time their mind is unswerving, based on the Realized One. A noble disciple whose mind is unswerving finds inspiration in the meaning and the teaching and finds joy connected with the teaching. When theyā€™re joyful, rapture springs up. When the mind is full of rapture, the body becomes tranquil. When the body is tranquil, they feel bliss. And when theyā€™re blissful, the mind becomes immersed in samādhi.ā€ – AN 11.12

Exploring The Practice More By Finding Modern Teachers Who Practise in This Way

As I was learning more about his practice, I began to discover Thai Forest Teachers who practice using ā€˜Buddhoā€™, ā€˜Dhammoā€™, ā€˜Sanghoā€™, or similar phrases anytime and anywhere they could. For example, Venerable Ajahn Maha Boowa practised using ā€˜Buddhoā€™ even while doing chores. Venerable Ajahn Anan AkiƱcano teaches us to ā€œalways keep ā€˜Buddhoā€™ in the heart, whether standing, sitting, walking, lying down, or whatever else we might be doing.ā€ Chā€™an Master Sheng Yen teaches the practice of reciting the Buddhaā€™s name at any time and in any place to purify the mind.

The most common method in the Thai Forest Tradition seems to be ā€œBuddhoā€. However, I usually prefer ā€œBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoā€ because the longer phrase is easier for me to focus on. 

How It Helped

Following the practice:

Walking anywhere: ā€œBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoā€. 

Sitting on the bus or MRT: ā€œBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoā€. 

Eating alone: ā€œBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoā€. 

Working at a task that doesnā€™t require full concentration: ā€œBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoā€. 

While talking break at work: ā€œBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoā€. 

While cleaning my flat: ā€œBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoā€. 

Doing sitting meditation: ā€œBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoā€. 

Doing walking meditation back and forth: ā€œBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoā€. 

Pretty much any activity becomes an opportunity to practice and purify the mind. 

Practising as such now for over a year, my mind has become so much more tranquil and clear than all the years in the past when just doing sitting or walking meditation based on breathing, mindfulness of the body, or metta. It is even better than when I went on several multi-day meditation retreats because it is so much more stable. 

At night, I can fall asleep so much faster. During the day, I am more clear-headed, more aware of unhealthy thought patterns, and much more easily able to let go and be free of cravings for unhealthy food, unhealthy thought patterns, and other unwholesome activities. Itā€™s been especially helpful in the moments and at the times of day when my mind is the most stressed and prone to greed, hatred, and delusion arising. 

It also greatly strengthened my faith in Buddhism. Any time becomes a time when one can feel a connection to the Buddha, contemplate his positive qualities, and help cultivate a calm, clear mind, and compassionate mind.  

Even if I donā€™t feel tranquil at some particular point while engaging in this practice, it is still helpful because it gives my mind something positive to focus on. This practice provides a refuge when feeling overwhelmed by negative emotional states. 

Unexpectedly, Iā€™m able to maintain a regular sitting meditation practice much better now than in all the years in the past because Iā€™ve developed the habit of mindfulness much more strongly by practising throughout the day. 


Wise Steps:

  • It may help to combine this practice with mindfulness of breathing, mala/prayer beads, or mindfulness of the body (for example, when feeling stress, tension, or strong emotions or doing an activity such as walking or eating).
  • Finding a rhythm such as one syllable per step or one syllable for the in-breath and one for the out-breath can make the practice simple and enjoyable. 
  • See the Related Resources section below for more detailed teachings on practising in this way.

Related Resources on Mindfulness of the Buddha in Any Circumstance

Venerable Ajahn Maha Boowa

  1. From Ignorance to Emptiness 

Venerable Ajahn Anan AkiƱcano

  1. SOTĀPATTIMAGGA: THE PATH OF THE SOTĀPANNA 

Venerable Master Sheng Yen (Founder of Dharma Drum)

  1. Dharma Drum: ā€‹Start Your Buddhist Cultivation with Regular Practice (See Section on Reciting the Buddha’s Name) 
  2. Dharma Drum: Let’s Recite the Buddha’s Name
Bridging Gaps: What a month of monkhood taught me about laylife

Bridging Gaps: What a month of monkhood taught me about laylife

TLDR: Learn from monastic life insights to navigate less-than-ideal conditions with acceptance, finding peace in life’s imperfections.Ā 

Writerā€™s Note: Hi Everyone,

Thank you for taking the time to read this article. It contains some things that I have found to be helpful for the practice. I hope that they will be as helpful for you as they were for me. šŸ™ You may find Part I here.

With Luang Por (Ajahn Anan)
(Photo used with permission)

Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional

One of my first realisations was that monastics are, like laypeople, not exempt from pain and suffering (surprise, surprise!). 

As I was in Thailand during the hot season, the temperature was about 35 degrees Celsius in most afternoons.

My body became very inflamed (i.e. heaty) twice during that one month and resulted in large mouth ulcers. 

While I was lucky that the monastery had some herbal cooling pills which helped with recovery, it was necessary to find ways to manage the pain. I found that complete acceptance of the bodyā€™s condition and strengthening mindfulness by continuously attending to breathing helped to lighten the mind substantially and the result is that one feels much less pain.

Alms round and painful walking

Alms round was also a very educational experience. It was painful walking barefoot on the road and the ball of my right foot cracked and bled after switching from a shorter route to a longer route. 

There was a day when the pain became really intense. I knew I had to do something to continue as I was slowing down and my breathing was becoming very laboured. 

I told myself ā€œevery step I take, I walk closer to Nibbānaā€ and a wave of release instantly rushed over me and brought tears. 

These examples demonstrate that pain does not necessarily result in suffering if we make an effort to adjust our mind wisely. 

Suppose it was the time of autumn, when the rain was falling heavily, and a bubble on the water forms and pops right away. And a person with clear eyes would see it and contemplate it, examining it carefully. And it would appear to them as completely void, hollow, and insubstantial. For what substance could there be in a water bubble?

In the same way, a mendicant sees and contemplates any kind of feeling at all ā€¦ examining it carefully. And it appears to them as completely void, hollow, and insubstantial. For what substance could there be in feeling?

SN 22.95

Why do we allow ourselves to be influenced by feelings when they are as transient and insubstantial as a bubble? 

Pain is caused by conditions, but suffering is caused by the mind. If we simply rush to pleasure to numb pain, we will continue to suffer and bounce back and forth between pain and pleasure.

Conditions are just conditions

A mother cat gave birth to a litter of cute kittens at the monastery. Unfortunately, one of the kittens died (Iā€™m not sure of the cause) and I happened to see it one morning. 

When I saw it that morning near the eating hall, I took some time to observe it. Its body was still whole but its mouth was open with some blood vomited. 

At that time I did not feel much as my mind was quite equanimous. Whilst I thought that it was an unfortunate situation, I shared merits and moved on. 

The extent that we get caught up or blinded by worldly conditions is a matter of choice. While it does not mean that we cannot try to change our conditions, much is beyond our control, e.g. death. 

As practitioners, we cannot simply blame our circumstances or environment and do nothing else. We have to process and contemplate wisely. 

Whilst monastics usually have less distractions in life compared to laypeople and may have better conditions for the practice, it does not mean that laypeople are unable to practise as well as monastics. 

The Buddha himself notes his lay disciples Citta and Hatthaka as role models and they were said to have awakened to the extent of Anāgāmi (Non-Returner).

When things are less than ideal

One may find it helpful for there to be a difference between what we choose to believe in internally and what we strive for externally, especially if there is a need to accept something that is less than ideal. 

For example, ā€œmy job may not be ideal but it is good enough and I will continue until I find something elseā€. This technique helps to create acceptance and letting go.

Sometimes in life we just need to ā€œsuck it upā€ and accept conditions that are less than ideal in order to move on. 

Try to ā€œlook on the bright sideā€ as it is always a meritorious learning opportunity when we accept and deal with challenging conditions. Human life and society is not and will never be perfect. 

While we can and may try to change certain conditions in life, not everything is within our control. We would be much happier if we develop patience and accept conditions that are beyond our control. 

What is within our control is the condition of our mind. Change that instead.

Obligatory post-ordination photo

How to practise better?

In order to suffer less, we need to uproot and release the causes of our suffering. 

Firstly, it is crucial to reflect and understand ourselves better. We should contemplate and identify what are our main stressors in life. 

It is beneficial to reflect honestly and sincerely on which of the five hindrances occur most prominently in our daily life. 

The stronger any hindrance plays (or preys) upon the mind, the more suffering will occur whether or not one realises it. 

Conversely, the more one acts skilfully to eradicate oneā€™s hindrances and defilements, the less one suffers. Iā€™ve suggested some tips at the end of this article which may be helpful.

It is beneficial to review why we want or think we need certain things, as well as the views we hold onto. A skilful practitioner will constantly investigate his/her desires and attachments and whether it is really necessary to have them

One change I made was to stop judging whether Iā€™ve had enough sleep based on the number of hours spent in bed and to make that determination based on how I feel instead. 

That is because it became clear to me that one can sleep little and yet be full of energy if our mind is light and unencumbered, whereas one may not be refreshed even after spending many hours in bed if our mind is caught up or encumbered. 

Peace and serenity come from our own minds. No one can give them to us.

Ajahn Stuart
(Photo used with permission)

More mindfulness helps

The next step to self-improvement is to develop and maintain mindfulness as much as possible throughout our daily life. 

Monastic life highlights the dangers of not being mindful. I’ve dropped my alms bowl (while waiting to get food), tripped on my toe a few times during alms round, forgot to wear my slippers, and forgot to take my stuff (e.g. bowl, lower robe, sitting cloth). 

These situations occur in lay life as well but we tend to see them as normal and acceptable as we prioritise and value being caught up in our labours. 

The truth is that when we are not mindful, we are much less effective and the likelihood of saying or doing something unwholesome is much higher. 

If we reflect on incidents or choices we regret in life and consider how we could have acted more skilfully, with some mindfulness we are likely to behave in a much more wholesome manner the next time similar situations occur.

One of the best ways to develop mindfulness is to place some attention on our breathing whenever we can even while attending to daily tasks. The more often we do this, the freer our mind becomes!  

Change our habits by skilful means

I was told off by another monk for stepping on the wet floor after it was mopped as well as not mopping the way he asked me to. While I recognised that I could have been more mindful, his attitude did cause some painful feelings to the extent that it required some contemplation to resolve.Ā 

I told myself that I should have patience and develop compassion for him. I also reminded myself that while living the holy life, my conduct has to be impeccable.

It helped that I had the advice of a senior monk who agreed with my approach and I was able to continue helping with chores without reacting. 

After some time spent working with that monk, I realised that he was particular because he was trying to do the best for the monastery. That realisation helped me to see him in a different light and I was pleased that I did not allow myself to react negatively. 

In my second week, I maintained noble silence for 5 days. I realised that noble silence has to include not talking to yourself as inner speech is also distracting. That being said, it is skillful to talk to ourselves wisely in order to encourage ourselves in the practice. 

Identify phrases and teachings that inspire you and use them often, e.g. say ā€œwell doneā€ / ā€œsadhuā€ to yourself when you do a wholesome deed or refrain from doing something unwholesome. 

Every time you sit to meditate, say ā€œthis is freedom from sufferingā€ and/or ā€œthis is what the Buddha didā€ (credit to Bhikkhu Anālayo). If we often speak unwisely, transform the inner speech first and the outer speech will also be changed for the better.

ā€œIntention, I tell you, is kamma. Intending, one does kamma by way of body, speech, and intellect.

AN 6.63

It is important to investigate what aspects and habits of our daily lives are actually dissatisfactory or stressful. Do your acts and thoughts create more happiness or unhappiness for yourself as well as for others? 

Break unskilful and unwholesome habits by intentionally replacing them with skilful and wholesome habits. Most of us start our day by immediately jumping into our mundane work. 

However, it is actually more beneficial to start the day with meditation and being mindful as it makes us more equanimous and develops a more balanced mind (credit to Ajahn Achalo for this recommendation). 

I have also found it helpful to make vows that improve the standard of our practice (e.g. I vow to meditate daily), but vows that are about results may not be as helpful (e.g. I vow to have jhāna) as we do not have control over the results of our practice. 

A skilful practitioner would also evaluate the company they keep and actively choose to spend more time in the company of the wise. The Buddha said that spiritual friendship is the ā€œwhole of the spiritual lifeā€. 

This can help us to develop wisdom and slowly change the unskilful parts of our character into more skilful ones. Iā€™ve found it very beneficial to join practice-focused organisations such as the Dhamma Assembly For Young Working Adults (DAYWA). Having wise spiritual friends to support one another can help us resolve issues faced in our lives, especially when we feel safe enough to be open about them.

Many of us practise hoping for a good rebirth. Thereā€™s nothing wrong with that, but actually our practice also makes life better right now, not just in the next life. Why? Because our desires, attachments, and suffering will reduce when our practice improves. 

Balance is key

ā€œBut when your harpā€™s strings were tuned neither too tight nor too slack, but fixed at an even tension, was it resonant and playable?ā€ 

ā€œYes, sir.ā€ 

ā€œIn the same way, Soį¹‡a, when energy is too forceful it leads to restlessness. When energy is too slack it leads to laziness. So, Soį¹‡a, you should apply yourself to energy and serenity, find a balance of the faculties, and learn the pattern of this situation.ā€

AN 6.55

In order to practise well, we need to know and understand ourselves well so that we can skilfully adjust the string of our practice into one that is neither too tight nor too loose.

The Buddhaā€™s first teaching, Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta
(Illustration by Junaidi Lim, used with artistā€™s permission)

Explore more of the Buddhaā€™s teachings

Every Buddhist tradition helps us to see the goodness that we all have within us. The historical Shakyamuni Buddha is part of every Buddhist tradition and he left an incredible wealth of wisdom for us. 

Not to do any evil; to embrace the good; to purify oneā€™s mind: this is the instruction of the Buddhas. 

Patient acceptance is the ultimate fervor. Extinguishment is the ultimate, say the Buddhas.

Dhp 179-196

Consider subscribing to ReadingFaithfully.org which emails you a new sutta every day. If suttas are not your thing, Ajahn Jayasaro provides wise and relatable Dhamma teachings in English, Chinese and Thai. 

For a more structured course on the Buddhaā€™s teachings, consider attending the Dhamma Foundation Course at Buddhist Fellowship (held yearly, starting early 2024).

May we all continue to practise well.


Here are some simple techniques that may be helpful to address the hindrances:

  1. When being overcome by sense desire, reflect and visualise the true nature of whatever that is the source of your craving e.g. body is a carbon construct that ages and rots, food is just unprocessed excrement, luxury items are just marketing and are not actually worth their (mental) cost. Itā€™s ok to have some enjoyment from time to time but it is not ok to overindulge as excessive greed harms yourself as well as others.
  1. When having ill will, reflect that whoever you dislike is just a construct of their choices and karma, they are just illusions (like yourself) and there is actually no real person to like or dislike (teaching by Ajahn Anan). If that does not work, tell yourself that you are the only one suffering by allowing your aversion to continue existing in your mind, and that everyone is subject to their own karma. Try to develop compassion for yourself as well as others as we are all suffering in samsara together.
  1. When feeling lazy, tell yourself that you might actually die today from a bad fall, an unknown physical condition or a traffic accident, or that you are heedlessly wasting the limited time that you have left in this world.
  1. When feeling anxious and when the mind is unable to stop thinking, have a warm shower or bath and listen to soothing music to calm down. Try to meditate and see that your continuous thinking and worry is pointless and tiring as people and conditions are just things that are beyond our control.Ā 
  2. When feeling doubtful of the teachings, consider the fact that no matter what you think or believe, you are still suffering. But there is a way out of suffering and we should try to keep an open mind and perhaps clarify with teachers that we respect. If you do not already have a teacher you respect, Ajahn Anan is one of the most well-practised monastics and would likely be able to address your doubts.
Dhamma & Digital Detox: How a one-day retreat made me rethink my relationship with media

Dhamma & Digital Detox: How a one-day retreat made me rethink my relationship with media

TLDR: Always scrolling whenever there is nothing to do? Doing a weekly one-day digital fast from oneā€™s devices, and employing the methods of mindful living recommended by Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh may help in combating a digital addiction.

In the bustling city of Singapore, a one-day meditation retreat became the turning point in my mental health journey. 

This retreat was an escape from the city’s chaos. It included guided meditation, moments of introspection, and times of quiet. During this, my racing thoughts began to calm down.

The retreat didn’t provide an instant fix, but it jump-started a positive change. I started to incorporate mindfulness into my daily life and also started a rewarding digital detox journey.

This one-day retreat unveiled the path to resetting my mental health. It taught me that, even amidst the chaos of life, there’s room for tranquillity. The journey continues, with mental detox as my guiding light towards a healthier and happier mind.

A quiet hall

It was a lovely morning on 22 July 2023 when eighty intrepid youths gathered at the Hall of Medicine Buddha on the sprawling grounds of Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery.

Organised by the Singapore Buddhist Mission, we assembled for a one-day retreat led by Venerable Damcho of Sravasti Abbey.

Titled ā€œShoulda, Coulda, Woulda: Living a Life with No Regretsā€, there was an air of anticipation as we sat patiently on the cushions provided, waiting for the morning session to begin.

Venerable Damcho led us in an opening puja, and then a morning meditation, ending with an intention for the day.

She then expounded on the topic of the day, which plagues many youths today – FOMO, or the fear of missing out.

A light bulb went off in my mind

Group Retreatants

Something she said caught my attention, and I paraphrase, ā€œIsnā€™t it rather odd that we spend so much time ā€˜catching upā€™ with our friends by obsessively scrolling on Facebook, Instagram, or Tik Tok; when we could very well just ask them out for a cup of tea instead?ā€

During the question and answer session, I asked, ā€œAs a queer person of faith, and for many others who do not fit into the neat little boxes society tells us to conform to, I seek solace in online spaces to find ā€˜my tribeā€™ as it were, before I found queer affirming Buddhist communities like Rainbodhi Singaporeā€¦

ā€¦ In Singapore, as an educator who has journeyed with students who have been diagnosed and are seeking treatment for digital addiction, I think that scrolling on Instagram is one way people deal with chronic loneliness. I think that there are some benefits to thisā€¦

ā€¦ May I also ask, what would be some of your suggestions for encouraging people to ask their friends out for a cup of tea if they suffer from anxiety issues?ā€

Her answer was most compassionate. She acknowledged that certain online spaces were places of refuge for those who might be unable to find community in real life.

But encouraged us to still endeavour to interact with our friends in real life.

Group interactions with Venerable Damcho

Having reflected upon the talk in the past 2 months, I have some reflections.

Putting it bluntly, I think we suffer from a delusion when we doom-scroll on our platform of choice on social media, whether that be Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, or others. 

Like the concept of moha in Buddhism, which is Pali for ā€œillusionā€ or ā€œdelusionā€, this, to me, is one of the 3 common unskillful roots, that lead to craving, together with greed and aversion.

To me, obsessive scrolling on social media, out of the ā€˜five poisonsā€™, is a toxic cocktail made up of both ignorance and attachment. The other three are aversion, pride, and envy.

You might be surprised to note that I donā€™t include envy in my consideration. You might differ from me, but to me, the main reason why I scroll Instagram to while away some time while waiting for the elevator to arrive is because I am ignorant that there are better things to do with my time. 

I am also simultaneously attached to wanting to know what interesting things my friends are up to, the concept of FOMO that Venerable Damcho was targeting in her talk.

What I did after her talk

There were 3 things I implemented after her talk that have been helpful for me to combat this FOMO problem and the endless digital distraction that compels us each day to check our phones way too many times in a day.

I am not yet an expert in battling digital addiction*, but I thought it might be useful to share whatā€™s helped me.

(*Note: I see digital addiction as being on a spectrum. While I might not get physically violent if my digital devices are removed from me, scrolling compulsively for 2 hours every night before I sleep instead of reading or chanting is to me, most certainly a problem, even if it might not qualify as being pathological in nature. Please consult a professional if you suffer from addictions of any sort, the following are but some humble suggestions that have worked for me.)

1. Digital Detox

I implemented a day where I would be offline for 24 hours, on an off day where I donā€™t have to work, and I would take care to inform the friends and family I text most often.

(This is crucial because I once caused them a lot of worry just going dark without telling them, for I am the consummate digital native, replying to messages at a ridiculously rapid rate.)

On the day of my digital fast, Iā€™d intentionally put my phone, laptop and tablet at home, and either go for a morning walk at the nearby park or head to the beach to sink my feet into the sand.

Then Iā€™d mindfully eat my breakfast of kaya toast and coffee, more mindful than usual instead of Instagramming it and pairing it with a witty caption for my followers.

Sometimes Iā€™d head to my favourite temple, Bright Hill Temple, and pay my respects to my favourite bodhisattva, Guan Yin, then meditate in the Hall of No Form for a bit, before partaking in a delicious vegetarian lunch at their canteen.

Then Iā€™d spend some time journalling, in pen and paper (crazy, yes I know, some of us havenā€™t touched a pen since graduation – at least according to a friend of mine), and write down some thoughts and reflections Iā€™ve had for the week.

Finally, Iā€™d spend the rest of the afternoon crocheting, chanting a meditative mantra silently in my mind with each stitch.

In the evening, Iā€™d cook a simple dinner mindfully, eat, and then wash my crockery mindfully too, in the fashion of the Zen monks Iā€™d once read about.

Then Iā€™d wind down by doing some nighttime chanting to Guan Yin with my mala (prayer beads), then finally curl up to a good book to quieten my mind and body before falling asleep.

This is in contrast to staring at my phone, indulging in my usual bedtime procrastination of scrolling for 2 hours straight, and catching up with what my friends are doing, before collapsing in exhaustion past midnight.

I can see why retreats are useful, but since I cannot currently afford to go overseas to spend 7 days in silence regularly, I think being offline, away from the constant overwhelming digital noise, 1 day a week can be super helpful too.

2. Mindfully doing everything (as much as possible)

I have been a great fan of Thich Nhat Hanhā€™s methods, ever since I was recommended his books as a newcomer to Buddhism 5 years ago.

In his little series of books that I love, with them intentionally titled, ā€œHow to Sitā€, ā€œHow to Walkā€, ā€œHow to Seeā€, and so on, I have learnt that we can be mindful of the little things.

As I began to eat more mindfully during mealtimes, setting aside my phone (after snapping a square photo, I know, forgive me, for I am still learning to be mindful), I began to better experience the flavours, the texture, and even noticing the temperature of the food I as I chew.

I felt grateful with each bite, for the many causes and conditions that brought the bowl of noodle soup to me, with the various ingredients sourced and harvested from all across the world. That is not to be taken for granted. This also reminds me of the concept that Thich Nhat Hanh likes to call ā€œInterbeingā€ more commonly known as interdependence.

This means that no man exists as an island unto himself and that we all rely on one another, whether we realise it or not. And I began to see the universe in my little bowl of noodles. It is incredible indeed, what being mindful can do to oneā€™s experience of a meal.

Then, while walking, even to the bus stop from my house, I noticed the feeling of my feet as I took each step. I see the trees, the breeze gently caressing each leaf and cradling each branch, the accompanying chirping of the birds, and the gentle early morning sunshine on my face, and I am grateful to be alive.

I must admit, this does not happen all the time, I am sometimes still engrossed in my phone, replying to an urgent text from a client or a friend, checking for the dayā€™s movie timings or seeing what time the bus is arriving from my app.

But when I do, and I try to when I remember, the world slows down and everything becomes that much more meaningful as the digital world fades into the background that much more.

3. Digital decluttering the Marie Kondo way

Recently, I began to do a little digital decluttering.

I cleared my photo album of photos that I no longer needed, screenshots of receipts after meals I send to friends to split the bill, or posters to events that have long passed.


Then, I did some purging.Ā 

Often on social media, digital friends can over time become unwholesome to oneā€™s practice if their views arenā€™t aligned with mine. 

On Twitter, I unfollowed or muted some friends who posted things that were too violent, whether in imagery or speech, too sexual, or too angry.

My feed then magically became a more wholesome place to be in, where I converse with friends on important topics of the day, even as we partake in one anotherā€™s lives across continents, making plans to one day visit.

I think this can be sometimes controversial, for some might consider this a form of locking oneself in an echo chamber.

Well, my response to that is, that Iā€™d rather be in a wholesome echo chamber than be in a town square full of angry and hateful people, bombarding my eyes with their violent speech and imagery, thank you very much.

My feed is mine to curate, and itā€™s like reading books or watching movies – we donā€™t read every single book or watch every single movie that comes into the market. Why? Each of us has a unique taste, cultivated over time, informed by our religious beliefs and practices. Similarly, I shouldnā€™t subject myself to reading every tweet, Instagram picture, or TikTok video that comes my way if it isnā€™t aligned with my practice.

Thatā€™s being mindless instead of being mindful.

My friends often wonder why my TikTok feed is so weird – my feed is filled with parenting advice from a mom who is also a professor and counsellor, fun chemistry videos from a real-life chemist, wholesome coming-out advice from a queer couple, and Book Tok videos of new books my favourite Book Tok celebrity, Jack Edwards, has laid his hands on.

These are things I enjoy learning about, and I am glad the TikTok algorithm is rather accurate in serving up the wholesome content that I enjoy. No shade on those who dance in skimpy clothing but itā€™s just really not my thing. But I most actively steer away from content that is overtly angry, rude, or discriminatory, which (un)surprisingly makes up a lot of content online these days.

Even if one cannot go offline completely, plugged into the digital world as we are in the 21st century, whatever one consumes directly affects your brain. There is a famous neuroscience saying that goes, ā€œNeurons that fire together, wire togetherā€, meaning that the more you consume, the more your brain wants you to consume.

The more sexual imagery one consumes digitally, the more theyā€™d want the same hit of dopamine, and a vicious cycle continues.

Like my friends in recovery, instead of going cold turkey, many replace their addiction with a healthier form of coping.

Instead of smoking, they might chew gum instead (I know, we canā€™t buy chewing gum in Singapore, but you get my point).

Instead of feeding oneā€™s mind with celebrity break-up news on Instagram, one could instead read the helpful posts on the Handful of Leaves Instagram page, and listen to their podcast too (My favourite one is the sex talk the two hosts did with Venerable Damcho).Ā 

Conclusion

I still struggle with and have a mild digital addiction. However, implementing the methods of mindful living as espoused by Thich Nhat Hanh, and doing a digital fast once a week, has been tremendously helpful for me. Curating my social media feed is something Iā€™m currently still working on, even as I work on digital decluttering, removing apps and photos that I no longer use or are helpful to my practice.

I hope this little sharing has been helpful for you and I wish you all the best of luck with your digital journey.

Be kind to yourself, be curious about why you do the things you do, and be brave enough to make changes to your life when the need arises.

Peace.


Wise Steps:

1. Choose one day a week to do a digital detox.

2. Eat mindfully with awareness and gratitude.

3. Delete old photos from your mobile phone.