TLDR: Most lies are small and unplanned. But they still erode trust and self-respect. Buddhaโs framework for Right Speech shows a better way.
Think about the last time you said you were busy when really you just didnโt want to meet someone. Or when you nodded along in a meeting, pretending you understood, just to avoid slowing things down. These arenโt dramatic fabrications, but theyโre still untrue.
Because these lies feel small, we tell ourselves they donโt matter. But over time, they become the default, shaping how others see us and how we see ourselves. If we can practise honesty in these small moments, the big moments become less daunting.
Why We Default to Half-Truths
Most lies arenโt carefully plotted. Theyโre quick escapes from discomfort, judgment or vulnerability. We tell them to protect our privacy, like sidestepping a nosy colleagueโs question about our salary.
We tell them to save face, like saying weโre almost done with a task that hasnโt even been started. We tell them to avoid conflict, like reassuring a parent weโre โstill thinkingโ about marriage when weโve already decided.
Sometimes we even do it to make ourselves look better, claiming we โled the projectโ when our role was much smaller.
Each time, we might feel the relief of avoiding an awkward moment. But underneath, trust wears thinner โ both our trust in others and theirs in us.
Buddhaโs Five Gates of Right Speech
The Buddhaโs teaching on right speech is a core principle in Buddhist ethics, designed to help people communicate truthfully and skillfully while also minimising harm. Right speech, as outlined in the Noble Eightfold Path, includes abstaining from four kinds of speech: lying (false speech), slanderous or divisive speech, harsh speech, and idle chatter.
The Buddha offered a simple filter for our words: are they factual, timely, pleasant/gently spoken, beneficial, and spoken with goodwill?
Factual means we resist the temptation to add, twist or leave out details that change the truth. Timely means we choose the right moment to speak, because even true words can be harmful if badly timed. Beneficial means the words help rather than simply airing our feelings. And goodwill means theyโre rooted in kindness, not in the desire to hurt or score points.
When our words pass through all four gates, they have the power to strengthen trust. When they donโt, even harmless-seeming lies chip away at it.
Navigating Truth Without Harming
Yet, the suttas recognises that speaking the truth can sometimes cause harm. The Buddhaโs conduct gave guidance on navigating this ethical dilemma. If a question would put someone in danger or create unnecessary harm, outright lying is not condoned, but neither is unnecessary truth-telling that would cause suffering. In some stories, the Buddha remained silent when answering directly would have led to harm.
Silence is often preferred to lying. If the truth would harm, a practitioner may choose to stay silent or give a non-committal response.
Diversion in the form of changing the topic, answering with another question, or speaking about something else is not explicitly forbidden, as long as it does not cross into deception.
Right Speech Guidance
Types of Speech
Ai Enโs elaboration
Lying
Always avoid, even for small gains; never deliberately mislead
Harmful Truth
Prefer silence or skillful, honest ambiguity over harmful truth
Diverting/Changing Topic
Acceptable if not deceptive and does not cause harm
Idle/Pointless Chatter
Avoid; speak only if it is meaningful and timely
Slandering/Harshness
Abstain; use speech to promote harmony and goodwill
The Buddhaโs practical approach to right speech helps people stay committed to truth while recognising the complexity of human interactions.
Rather than offering rigid rules, he encouraged mindfulness, compassion, and discretion in navigating speech, always returning to the question of whether words are beneficial, kind, true, and timely.
How we apply it? Here are some scenarios
Practical applications: Buddha in the Workplace
Office life offers endless opportunities for half-truths. A report isnโt close to finished, but we say itโs โalmost doneโ to buy time. A clientโs email has been sitting in our inbox all morning, but we claim we โnever saw itโ because we didnโt want to deal with it yet. A team project gets praise and we quietly let people think we were the lead, when in fact we only handled a small portion. Even something as simple as being asked about our pay can nudge us toward a made-up figure instead of simply saying, โI prefer to keep that private.โ
Your boss asks, โIs the report ready?โ and your brain starts scrambling. You have not even opened the file. The easiest escape is to say โalmost doneโ and hope to buy some breathing room. The problem is, that slips straight into lying, and in the Buddhaโs guidance even a small gain like a few hours of peace is not worth the cost of bending the truth.
A better approach is to stay honest while keeping the tone calm and constructive. You could say, โItโs not done yet, but Iโll start this afternoon and send you an update by tomorrow.โ This shows you are on top of it and gives them something specific to expect.
Or, โI have not started yet; other priorities came up, but hereโs my plan to get it moving.โ Here you are admitting the delay and focusing straight away on the solution.
Or, โItโs still at the starting stage, so Iโd like to adjust the deadline to make sure itโs done well.โ This frames you as someone who cares about quality, not just speed.
Each of these responses passes the Right Speech test: they are factual, given at the right time, beneficial to the person asking, and delivered with goodwill. When you practise answering like this often enough, honesty stops feeling like a nerve-racking leap and starts becoming your default way of speaking.
Buddha Meet Your Nosey Aunty
Itโs the classic family reunion scene. Youโre piling food onto your plate when an auntie leans in with that familiar smile: โSoโฆ are you seeing anyone?โ
Your reflex might be to laugh it off with, โNo, too busy with work,โ even if thatโs not the full truth. Itโs the safe answer, but letโs be honest ,itโs still a lie. And if you pad it out with a story about how โwork has you travelling non-stop,โ youโve drifted into idle chatter, giving them something to chew on thatโs not actually real. So, what will the Buddha say in such a situation?
Right Speech offers a cleaner way through. You can tell the truth without handing over your entire love life. You might say, โIโm not dating anyone at the moment.โ Clear and simple โ no room for misinterpretation.
Or, โAsk me again in a couple of months.โ This oneโs gentle but firm, signalling youโre not inviting more questions. And most likely, theyโll forget all about it months later.
Or, โIโm seeing someone but Iโd rather not share details yet.โ This is what the Buddha would call skilful, honest ambiguity โ truthful, but private. You protect your boundaries without misleading.
These answers pass the Right Speech filter because theyโre factual, timely, and delivered with goodwill. Youโre not shutting your relative down, but youโre also not handing them a story youโll have to keep straight next year. And the best part? You leave the table feeling lighter, because youโve told the truth in a way that still feels safe.
In Social Life: Outgrowing a Friend Group
You know that uni friend group that still invites you out? The ones youโve quietly outgrown. You appreciate the history, but these days the connection feels forced. Every invite comes with a little knot in your stomach โ and the go-to line, โBusy with work,โ slides out almost automatically.
A more skilful way is to speak honestly without burning the bridge. You could say, โThanks for the invite, but Iโm not up for going out these days.โ Thatโs simple, factual, and gives them a gentle clue that your priorities have shifted.
Or, โIโve been spending my time differently lately โ Iโll reach out if Iโm free in the future.โ This makes space for distance without closing the door entirely.
Or, โIโm not joining this time, and I think Iโm stepping back from group outings for now.โ Itโs the clearest option, and sometimes the cleanest endings are the kindest.
The first few times will feel awkward. But the relief of no longer having to invent excuses is worth it and you leave the friendship on an honest note instead of letting it fade under a fog of small lies.
Building Truthfulness as a Habit
Like any habit, truthfulness takes practice. Studies suggest forming new behaviours often takes 30 to 60 days. One useful method is habit stacking, attaching a new action to an existing routine. For example, after your morning coffee, take 30 seconds to mentally rehearse a truthful response to one tricky question you often get.
Defining โgo-toโ phrases in advance removes hesitation. Instead of being caught off guard and defaulting to a lie, youโve got a prepared, truthful answer ready. Over time, that becomes your reflex.
Lying takes more mental energy than telling the truth, especially when you need to remember past stories. Research shows that the more you practise truthful speech, the more instinctive it becomes. Even in pressured situations, honesty can become your default.
The key is repetition; choosing small moments to tell the truth builds the resilience to stay honest when the stakes are higher.
Closing Reflection
Every time you replace a half-truth with a clear, kind response, you reinforce the habit. Right Speech, backed by modern habit research, isnโt abstract philosophy. Itโs a daily practice, and every truthful sentence is another step towards a lighter, freer way of living.
Not lying (truthfulness or sacca)is considered a vital perfection (pฤramฤซ) on the Buddhist path to Nibbฤna (enlightenment).
The Buddha and enlightened disciples are described as never breaking the precept against lying throughout their long spiritual journeys. Truthfulness is both a sign and a cause of deep spiritual attainment. The โperfection of truthfulnessโ is explicitly cultivated to reach and safeguard the highest realisation.
Practical steps you can try this week:
Pause before answering to check if your reply passes the four gates.
If it doesnโt, reframe until it does.
Practise boundary-setting phrases that are honest but private.
TLDR: This article explores the struggle of growing up gay in a conservative society and the conflicting messages from different Buddhist traditions. It highlights the Buddhaโs early teachings, which focus not on sexual orientation but on living ethically, with compassion and non-harming.
Growing Up Gay in a Conservative Society
At fourteen, I noticed something different about myselfโsomething society deemed abnormal. I found myself attracted to the same sex. I attended an all-boysโ school where masculinity and heterosexual norms were paramount. Anything even remotely feminine was ridiculed, and being called “gay” meant mockery and marginalisation.
I began my long performance: a straight boy in disguise. It was the only way I felt safe.
There was no one I could trust. Friends, classmates, even my own parentsโnone offered support. I still remember the sting of hearing my parents comment on the news of a gay DJ who had murdered his ex-boyfriend. โSee, gay people are crazy,โ they said. โThatโs why they end up like this.โ Their words pierced deeper than they knew and I was scared of being found out.
With nowhere to turn, I sought solace in religion, exploring the complex realities of LGBTQ+ in Buddhism and hoping for compassion and understanding. My journey into Buddhism and homosexuality revealed both rejection and surprising insights that challenged conventional beliefs. In searching for Buddhist views on being gay, I encountered teachings that ranged from strict moral interpretations to deeply compassionate reflections โ showing how differently the Dhamma can be understood across traditions.
In major faith traditions, homosexuality is often condemned. In certain sects of Traditional Chinese Buddhism, being gay is seen as morally deviant, a karmic transgression.
Renowned masters like Venerable Hsuan Hua had openly declared that homosexuality โplants the seeds that lead to rebirth in the lower realms.โ In one of his teachings, he said:
ๅคงๅฎถ่ฆ็ฅ้๏ผๅๆงๆๆฏ้่ๅคฉๅฐไน็๏ผๅฟค้ไบบๅซไนๆก่กใๅจไปๅๅพ้ข้ฝ็ฑๅฆ้ญ้ฌผๆชๆๆ ซๆฟใ็ ฝ้ขจ้ป็ซ๏ผๅซไบบ็ดๅฅๅฐ็้ใ(Everyone must understand that homosexuality goes against the natural order of heaven and earth and is a vile act that defies human ethics. Behind them are demons and evil spirits inciting and fanning the flames, leading people straight to the gates of hell.)
Those words haunted me. (I thankfully found closure on his comments which I will cover at the end of the article).
I bore a heavy burden of guilt and self-doubt, questioning my worth, my sanity, and my right to exist. Finding self-acceptance felt impossible in a world that condemned my very identity. For years, I silently wrestled with feeling unworthy in the eyes of society and religion. How could I reconcile my faith with who I was? How could I accept myself when everything around me screamed that I was broken?
This is not just my story. It is the story of many othersโgay Buddhistsโwho suffer quietly in the shadows, longing for acceptance, for love, for peace.
Encountering Ven. K. Sri Dhammananda
Perhaps this is exactly what the Buddhist concept of causes and conditions (ๅ ็ผ) is all about. One day, while in search of a Dharma-based perspective on sexual identityโstill unconvinced by Venerable Hsuan Huaโs interpretationโI came across the writings of Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda an esteemed Theravฤda Buddhist scholar-monk widely revered in Malaysia and Singapore.
His article, titled โA Buddhist View of Homosexualityโ, immediately caught my attention, offering a perspective on Buddhism and homosexuality that is both compassionate and empowering. I felt drawn to it, hoping to find a voice of clarity and understanding. One bold line stood out to me:
โThere is nothing intrinsically wrong with sex. What is wrong is attachment and slavery to it, on believing that indulgence in sex can bring ultimate happiness.โ โ Ven. Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda (1919โ2006)
Reading that, I was overwhelmed. Finally, an affirmation that my sexuality was not something inherently wrong or abnormal. Tears of relief and quiet joy welled up inside me.
Ven. K. Sri Dhammananda offered an insight that was refreshingly non-condemnatory, providing a path toward self-acceptance and inner peace, regardless of sexual orientation. His writings reshaped many Buddhist views on being gay, showing that compassion, not condemnation, lies at the heart of the Dhamma. In essence, he explained that homosexualityโlike heterosexualityโarises from ignorance, but it is not โsinfulโ in the Abrahamic religionsโ sense. All forms of sexual desire, regardless of orientation, can increase lust, craving, and attachment to the body. Yet with wisdom, we gradually outgrow these attachments.ย
The goal of the spiritual path is not to single out or condemn homosexuality, but to transcend all forms of clinging, recognising that they all delay our liberation from Samsฤra.
Initially comforting, this balanced and compassionate perspective soon gave way to confusion. I noticed stark divisions among contemporary Buddhist masters. Though some teachers of Traditional Chinese Buddhism take a critical stance on homosexuality, Buddhist scholar Ven. K. Sri Dhammananda emphasises inner transformation over external condemnation.
This left me with a burning question: How do we, as queer Buddhists, navigate such contradictory views within the same spiritual tradition?
Turning to The Historical Buddha
In the face of contradictions among contemporary Buddhist voices, what could be wiser than to return to the earliest sourcesโto take refuge in the Early Scriptures that contain the voice of the historical Buddha, Gautama, himself?
I embarked on a personal journey into the Early Suttas and ฤgamas, with a focus on the Chinese ฤgamas (ใ้ฟๅซ็ถใ), familiar to me through Chinese-language sources. My goal was to explore within the Chinese Buddhist tradition itselfโnot relying solely on later interpretive views but delving into the Buddhavacana, the words of the Buddha as preserved in scriptures Chinese Buddhists regard as authoritative.
I turned to the CBETA digital archive of the Taishล Tripiแนญaka, accessing the ฤgama texts to study what the Buddha had to say about topics like sexual misconduct. While there is a notable silence on LGBTQ-specific issues, what I discovered instead was wisdom and compassion from the Buddha who neither condemns nor excludes, but invites all beings onto the path. In Saแนyukta ฤgama (Sฤ) 10391:
่ก่ซธ้ชๅฉฌ๏ผ่ฅ็ถๆฏใๅ ๅผใๅงๅฆนใๅคซไธปใ่ฆชๆ๏ผไน่ณๆ่ฑ้ฌ่ ๏ผๅฆๆฏ็ญ่ญท๏ผไปฅๅๅผทๅนฒ๏ผไธ้ข้ชๅฉฌใ[Engaging in sexual misconduct โ if a woman is protected by her father, mother, brother, sister, husband, or relatives, or even one who has simply been offered a flower garland (signifying betrothal), and yet one forcibly violates her โ this is not free from sexual misconduct.]
SImilarly, in Saแนyukta ฤgama (Sฤ) 10442:
ๆๆขไธๅไบบไพตๆๅฆปใไปไบฆไธๅใๆไปไบไฝไพตไบบๅฆปๅฉฆใๆฏๆ ๅๆไธไปๅฉฌๆใ(Just as I would not be pleased if someone violated my wife, so too others would not be pleased. How then could I violate another manโs wife? Therefore, I uphold the precept to refrain from sexual misconduct.)
Also, in Madhyama ฤgama: The Upฤsaka Sลซtra (MA)3:
ๅพฉๆฌก๏ผ่ๆขจๅญ๏ผ็ฝ่กฃ่ๅผๅญ้ข้ชๅฉฌใๆท้ชๅฉฌ๏ผๅฝผๆๆ็ถๆ่ญท๏ผๆๆฏๆ่ญท๏ผๆ็ถๆฏๆ่ญท๏ผๆๅ ๅผๆ่ญท๏ผๆๅงๅฆนๆ่ญท๏ผๆๅฉฆ็ถๆฏๆ่ญท๏ผๆ่ฆช่ฆชๆ่ญท๏ผๆๅๅงๆ่ญท๏ผๆ็บไปๅฉฆๅฅณ๏ผๆ้ญ็ฝฐๆๆ๏ผๅๆๅ้ๅต่ณ่ฏ้ฌ่ฆช๏ผไธ็ฏๅฆๆฏๅฅณใๅฝผๆผ้ชๆทซๆทจ้คๅ ถๅฟ๏ผ็ฝ่กฃ่ๅผๅญๅ่ญท่ก๏ผๆญค็ฌฌไธๆณใ(Furthermore, ลฤriputra, a noble white-clad [lay] disciple abstains from sexual misconduct, refrains from it. That means: he does not violate a woman who is protected by her father, or mother, or both parents; or protected by her brother or sister; or by her husbandโs family; or by relatives; or of the same clan; or one who is married to another man; or who is subject to punishment, fear of punishment; or one who is in debt; or even one who is bounded by a garland as a sign of engagement or kinship. He does not violate such women. In this way, the noble white-clad [lay] disciple completely purifies his mind with regard to sexual misconduct, skillful in protecting his actions. This is the third practice.)
From various passages in the ฤgamas above (the Chinese parallels of the Nikฤyas in the Pฤli Canon), it becomes evident that laypeople are advised to abstain from sexual relations with โunsuitable partnersโโtypically defined as underage girls, women who are betrothed or married, and those who have undertaken religious celibacy. This guidance is clear and grounded in harmlessness. It suggests that, in early Buddhism, sexual misconduct is not about sexual orientation, but rather concerns actions that would disrupt families, violate commitments, or cause harm.
Such an understanding aligns closely with the broader Buddhist ethical principle: that which causes suffering to oneself or others is considered unwholesomeโor more precisely, unskillful (akauลalya). Viewed in this light, there is no strong doctrinal reason to assume that same-sex relationships, if consensual and non-harmful, should be treated any differently than heterosexual ones.
So, one must ask: why obsess over a laypersonโs sexuality or sexual orientation at all? If the Buddha himself is silent on the matter, what does that say about contemporary attempts to moralize sexual orientation among lay followers?
Embracing Who You Are Now Without Harming Yourself Or Others
The early discourses of the historical Buddha make it abundantly clear: what truly matters is not oneโs sexual orientation, but oneโs commitment to the path.
Embrace self-acceptance fully: accept yourself as you are, now, in this lifetime, be it heterosexual or homosexual, and walk the path sincerely with diligence. The essence of the Buddhaโs teaching is simple yet profound, as mentioned in the Ekottara ฤgama (EA)4:
Commit no evil, do good abundantly, purify your mind โ this is the teaching of all Buddhas.
The real obstacle is not who we love, but whether we are caught in craving (tแนฬแนฃแนฤ) and clinging onto the delusion that sensual pleasures bring lasting happiness. Without dispassion and renunciation, whether gay or straight, we remain in saแนsฤraโa central lesson in Buddhism on love and attachment.
We are all capable of walking the path to liberationโregardless of gender, sexuality, or background.
So why canโt gay Buddhists fully embrace the path? As long as one lives according to the principle of non-harmingโcausing no harm to oneself, to others, or to both through body, speech, and mindโthen one is undeniably walking the noble path, the path that leads to happiness, peace, and ultimately, liberation. As the Buddha advised his son, Rฤhula, in the Ambalaแนญแนญhikarฤhulovฤda Sutta (MN 61):
โDoes this act with the body that I want to do lead to hurting myself, hurting others, or hurting both? Is it unskillful, with suffering as its outcome and result?โ If, while reflecting in this way, you know: โThis act with the body that I want to do leads to hurting myself, hurting others, or hurting both. Itโs unskillful, with suffering as its outcome and result.โ
To the best of your ability, Rฤhula, you should not do such a deed. But if, while reflecting in this way, you know: โThis act with the body that I want to do doesnโt lead to hurting myself, hurting others, or hurting both. Itโs skillful, with happiness as its outcome and result.โ Then, Rฤhula, you should do such a deed.โ
Sexual orientation does not determine oneโs rebirth or afterlife destination, contrary to assertions made by figures such as Venerable Hsuan Hua. A close examination of the Buddhaโs words as preserved in the ฤgamas and Nikฤyas reveals that it is unwholesome actionsโcommitted through body, speech, or mindโthat lead to unfortunate rebirths, such as in the hell realms, the animal realm, or the realm of hungry ghosts.
This is in theApฤyasaแนvattanika Sutta (AN 8.40), where the Buddha identifies eight unwholesome courses of action that lead to rebirth in the lower realms: (1) killing, (2) stealing, (3) sexual misconduct, (4) false speech, (5) divisive speech, (6) harsh speech, (7) idle chatter, and (8) the consumption of intoxicants. Notably, none of these factors pertains to sexual orientation.
In contrast to certain moral frameworks that associate non-heteronormative identities with spiritual downfall, early Buddhist ethics does not regard sexual orientationโwhether heterosexual, homosexual, or otherwiseโas inherently unwholesome.
What matters is the volitional quality (cetanฤ) and ethical nature of oneโs actions. Thus, whether one identifies as gay, straight, bisexual, or otherwise, it is not oneโs orientation that leads to rebirth in heaven or hell, but oneโs intentional conduct and adherence to ethical principles. This reflects the emphasis on personal responsibility, ethical intentionality, and liberation through mindful and compassionate living in the Buddhaโs teachingsโregardless of oneโs sexual identity.
Returning to the Heart of the Path
How can a gay person be a good Buddhist?
If we live without harming ourselves or othersโguided by mindfulness, kindness, and integrity, as emphasised in Theravฤda Buddhist teachingsโwe are already walking the Noble Path. Through my journey, I realised that Buddhism and homosexuality are not inherently in conflict. The Buddha cares less about who we love and more about how we live. We, too, can care in the same manner.
For years, I sought acceptance from religion and society yet no acceptance is found. But the early teachings of Buddha Gautama reminded me: itโs not the sexual identity that defines a practitioner, but intention and action.
May we allโregardless of orientationโwalk this path with courage, clarity, and compassion. As mentioned in ฤrya Asaแน gaโsAbhidharmasamuccaya:
sattvฤแธฅ sukhena samprayujyeran
May all sentient beings be endowed with happiness, for there is no one who rejects joy and happiness in their life.
sattvฤ duแธฅkhena viyujyeran
May all sentient beings be separated from sufferings, for there is no one who takes delight in sufferings.
All sentient beings, be they straight or gay, are in constant search for love, joy and happiness. There is no one who rejoices in suffering. Grounded in compassion, may we all inflict no more, unnecessary sufferings, on any being regardless of gender and sexuality.
Wise Steps:
Return to Early Texts: Focus on the Buddhaโs ancient teachings in the Pฤli Canon or ฤgamas.
Live by Non-Harming: Let compassion and harmlessness guide your actions.
Practice Self-Acceptance: Embrace who you are while walking the path with sincerity and mindfulness.
Editorโs notes: This article has been kindly contributed by Bhante Shravasti Dhammika whoโs works can be found on Budblooms. In addition, he has launched a new book Footprints in the Dust, The Life of the Buddha from the Earliest Sources, now available on Amazon.
Disclaimer: This article was written in the early 2000s and some terms used here may have new cultural meanings. We encourage readers to read the book ‘Out of Ordinary’ to get better context and nuances of the time. Any potentially offensive terms used are not intentional.
TLDR: Beyond black and white views applied to gender, Bhante Dhammika explores the story of a transgender monk, the suttas on the topic of transgender people, and a possible explanation of why it happens.
We are used to thinking of the world in black and white terms, of things being either right or wrong, up or down, one thing or another. A good example of this would be the popular but mistaken understanding of kamma as either good or bad.
The Buddha, by contrast, said that kamma can be good, bad or a mixture of the two (vฤซtimissฤ dhamma), which of course accords much more with reality. In fact, few things are either 100% good or 100% bad.
When it comes to gender, we commonly assume that people are either male or female whereas the categories are not always that clear, a truth that the Buddha recognized centuries ago.
Buddha & His Recognition of Transgender Individuals
So, what is Buddha’s view on non-binary genders?
He was aware that there were those who were of indeterminate or mixed gender (i.e. partly male and partly female); he called them โmen-like womenโ (vepurisikฤ), โthose with the characteristics of both [genders]โ (ubhatovyaรฑjanaka), and sometimes spoke of what he called โsexual indistinctnessโ (sambhianฤซ).
He made a rule that such people were not to be ordained as monks or nuns, probably not because he considered them to be immoral or perverted, but simply because there were no positions within the Sangha which they could fit into.
In fact, it is remarkable that the Buddha made no moral judgments about those whose gender was mixed. Today, the condition that the Buddha recognized in the Suttas are people who identify as transgender.
It should be understood that being transgender is different from being homosexual – the first is having the strong feeling that oneโs gender is the opposite of what oneโs body indicates, whereas the second is being sexually attracted to those of oneโs own gender.
The first is about identity whereas the second is about sexual attraction. There are several stories in Buddhist literature about people changing their gender.
The most well- known of these, from the Dhammapada commentary, tells of the man, Soreyya, who was transformed into a woman after being entranced by a young monkโs physical beauty.
Of course, this scenario is not possible, but the story indicated an awareness of transgender desire. However, today medical science has made it possible for transgender people to change their gender.
The Story of Michael Dillion
One of the first people to have done this was Laura Dillon. He was born into an aristocratic English family in 1915 โ his brother was Sir Robert Dillon, the eighth Baronet of Lismullen.
Educated at the best girlsโ schools and Oxford University and used to privilege, by the time he was 15, he started to feel he had been born into the wrong body, a female body. He started to cut his hair short and wear more masculine-looking clothes, which was thought of as eccentric but something he would grow out of.
He never did. When he was 24, he sought treatment for excessive menstrual bleeding and his doctor gave his the male hormone testosterone, thinking it would cure this condition. He also recommended that he consult a psychiatrist who eventually put his in contact with the pioneering plastic surgeon Dr. Harold Gillies.
Laura Dillion, before undergoing gender transition
The Transformation
Over a three year period, the doctor performed 13 operations on him which included removing his breasts, constructing male genitals and in effect transforming him into a man. Because of contacts in the records office, he managed to have his name changed to Michael and he officially became Michael Dillon.
He then embarked on medical studies and became a doctor, worked in the marine industry for some years, and published a book on being transgender without revealing that he himself was transgender.
The book attracted a great deal of attention from both doctors and psychologists as well as from the general public. This eventually led to Dillon being Michael Dillon when he worked as a shipโs doctor.
Michael Dillon
This led to Dillon being identified as transgender and him being hounded by the press wanting a bizarre and lurid story. So negative was the pressure that he decided to quietly disappear to India.
Journey to India
Long having an interest in Buddhism, he made his way to the Himalayas where he lived in a monastery for some years and later at the Mahabodhi Society in Sarnath learning Dhamma and meditation.
Michael as a monk
Later he settled in the Rezong Monastery in Ladakh where he ordained as a monk taking the name Jฤซvaka, after the Buddhaโs doctor of that name.
For the first time in his life he felt comfortable and accepted, writing several books on Buddhism including a study of the Vinaya, and after a serious illness passed away in Darjeeling in 1962.
He also wrote an autobiography called Out of the Ordinary which Fordham University Press published in 2017, its delay in its seeing the light of day due mainly because his brother who tried to stop its publication.
Transgender: A Possible Buddhist Explanation
During Dillonโs youth as a female, he was often mocked and teased because of his distinct boyishness and after becoming a male, he was hounded by the press, thought of as a freak and rejected by his family and former friends.
Dillon as Jivaka, fourth from the left, with other monks
Today, some transgender people can suffer insult and even physical violence. The problem does not lie with them, but with peopleโs ignorance and misunderstanding. Buddhists at least should have more understanding of transgender people because their condition may well be explained by Buddhism โ specifically by the doctrine of Rebirth.
A person may be reborn as, say, a male in successive lives during which time masculine attitudes, desires, traits and dispositions become strongly imprinted on their mind.
This would determine that he be continually reborn into a male body or that his consciousness would shape the new embryo into a male form โ whatever factors are responsible for the physical characteristic of gender.
Then, for either kammic, genetic or other reasons, he may get reborn into a female body while retaining all the long-established masculine psychological traits. Of course, this same process could be responsible for a male feeling that she is really female.
If this or something like it, is the cause for being transgender, it would mean that this condition is a natural one rather than a moral perversion as some theistic religions maintain.
In the Udฤna, the Buddha said that traits or dispositions (vฤsasฤ) developed through a succession of lives (abbokiแนแนanฤซ) may well express themselves in the present life and that they need not be โan inner moral faultโ (dosatara).
Thus, informed Buddhists should be accepting and understanding if or when they encounter a transgender person.
Wise Steps:
Understanding that transgender persons are equally capable of practising the Path we should offer them support rather than criticise them
Recognise that there are many spectrums to the world rather than viewing things in black and white
TLDR: How can the suttas and teachings aid us in our meditation journey? Paul shares his initial struggles and how the Buddhaโs discourse to Mahanama immensely helped him with his mindfulness and mental state.
My Past โ An On-and-off Meditator With Wavering Interest in Buddhism:
Even since learning about Buddhism and trying to study and practice it, I used to think the only practices to cultivate the mind were sitting meditation with eyes closed and walking back and forth slowly.
Since my first attempts to practice meditation back in 2009, I found it a very peaceful experience but also often beset by drowsiness. Furthermore, not long after completing the sitting meditation, after getting on with the activities of the rest of the day, the peaceful state was quickly lost and I didnโt feel noticeably different than if I had not meditated.
Even after years of doing regular sitting meditation on and off and going on several multi-day meditation retreats, this problem persisted. It wasnโt hard to do sitting meditation, even for days at a time at a meditation retreat. I didnโt feel like it was having an effect for long after getting up off the meditation cushion.
Even though I found the Buddhaโs teachings to be very wise and studied them in much depth, not seeing much benefit from the practices made me ambivalent and wavering about Buddhism as a whole.
Turning point: The Buddhaโs Discourse to Mahanama the Sakyan
This problem persisted through many years until around the time I came to learn about one of the Buddhaโs discourses with Mahanama the Sakyan, one of the Buddhaโs foremost lay followers.
In AN 11.12, Mahanama asks the Buddha: โ…we spend our life in various ways. Which of these should we practice?โ
In addition to specifying the cultivation of the 5 spiritual powers that should be cultivated to support awakening, the Buddha gives Mahanama six topics that should be recollected: The Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha, ethics, generosity, and devas.
The Buddha then tells Mahanama he should develop these recollections โ…while walking, standing, sitting, lying down, while working, and while at home with your children.โ
This stood out to me. These things can be done not just while doing sitting meditation or walking slowly back-and-forth for walking meditation but at any time and anywhere.
What are the effects the Buddha lists of practising like this?
โWhen a noble disciple recollects the Realized One their mind is not full of greed, hate, and delusion. At that time their mind is unswerving, based on the Realized One. A noble disciple whose mind is unswerving finds inspiration in the meaning and the teaching and finds joy connected with the teaching. When theyโre joyful, rapture springs up. When the mind is full of rapture, the body becomes tranquil. When the body is tranquil, they feel bliss. And when theyโre blissful, the mind becomes immersed in samฤdhi.โ – AN 11.12
Exploring The Practice More By Finding Modern Teachers Who Practise in This Way
As I was learning more about his practice, I began to discover Thai Forest Teachers who practice using โBuddhoโ, โDhammoโ, โSanghoโ, or similar phrases anytime and anywhere they could. For example, Venerable Ajahn Maha Boowa practised using โBuddhoโ even while doing chores. Venerable Ajahn Anan Akiรฑcano teaches us to โalways keep โBuddhoโ in the heart, whether standing, sitting, walking, lying down, or whatever else we might be doing.โ Chโan Master Sheng Yen teaches the practice of reciting the Buddhaโs name at any time and in any place to purify the mind.
The most common method in the Thai Forest Tradition seems to be โBuddhoโ. However, I usually prefer โBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoโ because the longer phrase is easier for me to focus on.
How It Helped
Following the practice:
Walking anywhere: โBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoโ.
Sitting on the bus or MRT: โBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoโ.
Eating alone: โBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoโ.
Working at a task that doesnโt require full concentration: โBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoโ.
While talking break at work: โBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoโ.
While cleaning my flat: โBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoโ.
Doing walking meditation back and forth: โBuddho, Dhammo, Sanghoโ.
Pretty much any activity becomes an opportunity to practice and purify the mind.
Practising as such now for over a year, my mind has become so much more tranquil and clear than all the years in the past when just doing sitting or walking meditation based on breathing, mindfulness of the body, or metta. It is even better than when I went on several multi-day meditation retreats because it is so much more stable.
At night, I can fall asleep so much faster. During the day, I am more clear-headed, more aware of unhealthy thought patterns, and much more easily able to let go and be free of cravings for unhealthy food, unhealthy thought patterns, and other unwholesome activities. Itโs been especially helpful in the moments and at the times of day when my mind is the most stressed and prone to greed, hatred, and delusion arising.
It also greatly strengthened my faith in Buddhism. Any time becomes a time when one can feel a connection to the Buddha, contemplate his positive qualities, and help cultivate a calm, clear mind, and compassionate mind.
Even if I donโt feel tranquil at some particular point while engaging in this practice, it is still helpful because it gives my mind something positive to focus on. This practice provides a refuge when feeling overwhelmed by negative emotional states.
Unexpectedly, Iโm able to maintain a regular sitting meditation practice much better now than in all the years in the past because Iโve developed the habit of mindfulness much more strongly by practising throughout the day.
Wise Steps:
It may help to combine this practice with mindfulness of breathing, mala/prayer beads, or mindfulness of the body (for example, when feeling stress, tension, or strong emotions or doing an activity such as walking or eating).
Finding a rhythm such as one syllable per step or one syllable for the in-breath and one for the out-breath can make the practice simple and enjoyable.
See the Related Resources section below for more detailed teachings on practising in this way.
Related Resources on Mindfulness of the Buddha in Any Circumstance
Buddhism is a spiritual tradition that has attracted many people globally. At the core of this ancient wisdom are the Buddhist suttas, sacred texts that convey the teachings of the Buddha.
We have curated a list of six must-visit websites that can be your gateway to experiencing the life-changing power of the Dhamma.
Before we begin, it is good to start by understanding how we can ‘befriend’ the suttas.
Befriending the suttas:
Why should I read? What benefits does it bring?
The Buddhist suttas offer guidance for people at all stages of their path and provide a comprehensive set of teachings.
Although some of the teachings may seem contradictory at first, careful reflection can help you resolve any apparent conflicts and deepen your understanding.
Plus, the suttas provide practical advice on real-world topics and validate personal experiences, which can be a huge boost of confidence in the Buddha’s teachings. You can also learn how to spot fake Buddha quotes.
And if that’s not enough, reading the suttas can also energise your meditation practice and fill your mind with positive, uplifting content โ a welcome respite from the negativity of modern media.
Sutta Central is an invaluable resource for those looking to explore the Buddhist suttas across multiple languages and traditions. The site provides translations from the Pali Canon, as well as texts from the Chinese ฤgamas, the Tibetan Kangyur, and Sanskrit sources.
Key Features:
Translations available in multiple languages
Comprehensive coverage of various Buddhist traditions
Popular suttas and stories to help you get started
Regular updates and new translations added
2. Access to Insight
Access to Insight is a Theravada Buddhist website providing access to many translated texts from the Tipitaka, and contemporary materials published by the Buddhist Publication Society and many teachers from the Thai Forest Tradition.
Key Features:
Over 1,000 suttas available in English translation
Commentaries and essays for further understanding
A diverse range of topics covered, from mindfulness to ethics and meditation
User-friendly navigation and search functions
3. 84000
84000.co is a groundbreaking project aimed at translating the vast corpus of Buddhist texts from the Tibetan Buddhist teachings (Kangyur) into modern languages. With a strong emphasis on accuracy and preserving the cultural context of the original texts, this resource offers invaluable insights into the world of the Mahayana and Vajrayana traditions.
Key Features:
High-quality translations of Tibetan Buddhist texts from the canonical collection.
The 84000 Reading Room (read.84000.co) with reading filters by topic and theme to help you find a text of interest.
New publications added regularly, with in-depth articles and editorial content delivered through their newsletter (84000.co/subscribe)
4. Suttafriend.org
Suttafriend.org is a cool and personable website that enables readers to use dynamic tags to navigate through teachings based on people, feelings, places, and even idioms! It’s like having a personal guide that helps you find the exact teachings you need at any given moment.
Key Features:
Tags that are relatable to us in daily life
Get to know people of Buddha’s time in a fun manner
In-depth access to different Suttas
5. UB’s Mahayana Text Collection
University at Buffalo brings the Mahayana text to life by collating the different Buddhist masterpieces for easy reading. It is often difficult to find accessible Mahayana text in a digital, compiled manner that is purely in English. Navigate this website for hidden gems like Heart Sutra and Diamond Sutra.
Key Features:
Access to ancient Chinese texts that are now in English
Identify various authors, and essays on these ancient texts
Learn in-depth about Mahayana teachings
6. Fake Buddha Quotes
It sucks to share fake news, or even worse, fake Buddha quotes. Goodreads.com is one of the major origins of such errors, attributing many random wise sayings to the Buddha. Reading more suttas would enable you to spot fake quotes when you see them.
Quiz: Which one is a real Buddha quote?
โBe kind to all creatures. This is the true religion.โ
“If hate worked, I would teach you that”
“If a man’s mind becomes pure, his surroundings will also become pure”
“Whatever has the nature of arising has the nature of ceasing”
Answer at the end of the article!
Key Features:
A compassionate approach to uncovering fake Buddha Quotes
Resources that point readers to the real quotes by Buddha
A robust comment section to ask questions
Conclusion
In conclusion, these six essential resources offer a wealth of knowledge and insights to support your journey into the world of Buddhist suttas.
By exploring these sites, you will gain a deeper understanding of the teachings, practices, and philosophies that form the core of this ancient wisdom.
Embrace the transformative power of Buddhism and embark on a journey of personal growth, mindfulness, and spiritual fulfilment.
Quiz Answer: D. The rest are โFakeโ Buddha Quotes.
