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Don’t Preach, Plant Seeds: Lessons from the Suttas On How To Share The Dhamma

Don’t Preach, Plant Seeds: Lessons from the Suttas On How To Share The Dhamma

by | May 20, 2026 | Being Buddhist, Read, Reflections on core teachings

TLDR: Be aware of pride when one shares the Dhamma; Inspire someone’s faith in the Triple Gem rather than personalities.

I still remember the first time someone asked me to share the Dhamma. I panicked a little. I knew the teachings had changed my life, but the idea of speaking about them felt heavy, almost risky. What if I said something wrong? What if I pushed someone away instead of helping them? What if my eagerness came across as pride?

Over the years, through practice, mistakes, and the kindness of my teachers, something changed. I realised that sharing the Dhamma is not about sounding wise or being impressive. It is about meeting another human being with care, clarity, and humility. And it is about remembering that this path has always been meant for the good of the many, not the few.

There’s a line in the Mahāvagga that never fails to inspire me and has been one of my guiding principles. The Buddha told the first 60 monks to go forth “for the good of the many, for the happiness of the many, out of compassion for the world… teach the Dhamma that is beautiful in the beginning, beautiful in the middle, beautiful in the end”.

When I read that for the first time, I felt two things at once. A sense of purpose, because the teachings are meant to be shared. And a sense of responsibility, because how we share them matters just as much as what we share.

I have been reflecting on this a lot, especially when talking to younger practitioners who worry that they are “not good enough” to share anything. So here is my honest account of what I’ve learnt so far, guided by both monastic and lay teachers and blended with the teachings that guided me.

Understanding Why We Share

Don’t Preach, Plant Seeds: Lessons from the Suttas On How To Share The Dhamma

At the heart of it, I share the Dhamma because of gratitude. Someone took the trouble to teach me when I was seeking answers about life at a young age. Someone planted a seed that later became my refuge. When I remember that, the fear of “not being perfect” softens.

The Dhammapada puts it simply: “The gift of Dhamma excels all gifts”. When someone is suffering, and you offer even a small piece of clarity, it can be life-changing. The taste of Dhamma is the taste of freedom, even if it appears in a single moment of insight now or in the future.

In AN 5.159, the Buddha told Venerable Ānanda that the Dhamma should only be taught when five qualities are present: step-by-step guidance, clear sequence, compassion, no desire for material gain, and no harm to oneself or others. The first 2 qualities are on delivery skills, which we can learn and pick up along the way and which I will cover later,  and the next 3 qualities are about intention, which we should constantly be mindful about when we share the Dhamma.

This keeps me grounded and has been my checklist. The moment I feel a bit of pride or a need to be admired, I pause. Teaching becomes unwholesome when it centres around the speaker instead of the Dhamma.

The Buddha says that if someone teaches just to gain followers or praise, the teaching becomes impure. But if they teach because the Dhamma is excellent, and they want others to understand and practise, then the teaching is pure.

It helps to remind myself that I am just a messenger of the Dhamma, for one who is able to share the Dhamma is a blessing and a privilege that we should not take too lightly. The listener should be inspired by the Dhamma, and their faith is to be in the Triple Gem rather than in an individual.

Knowing When to Speak

People sometimes assume that if you know something helpful, you should share it immediately. It is understandable that we are eager to share because of how Dhamma elevates our wisdom and the joy from understanding it. But the suttas offer a more holistic view. In AN 8.78, the Buddha describes the ideal scenario where someone both understands the Dhamma and the practice deeply and can communicate it clearly. They are also able to inspire others in the Dhamma through their own understanding and experience. 

Most of us may not fulfil all the criteria yet, but at the very minimum, the Buddha says that someone sharing the Dhamma should be able to speak clearly about the Dhamma and inspire others into the practice. 

What this means to me is about sharing what you know honestly. If you know that much, share that much. One can also share from the suttas or teachings from great teachers to inspire others. You can also share your own journey and your own Dhamma experience. I realised that when one shares honestly and sincerely from their own experience and with a heart of compassion, it is often the most beautiful and inspiring.

Delivery skillset – PECS

In one of the suttas (AN8.16), the Buddha talks about 8 qualities that a Bhikkhu should have before going on a mission. These are essentially communication and teachings skills that helps one to share the Dhamma effectively. At the back of my mind, I usually have a rough framework, but the sutta helps me to crystallise the framework properly. I have summarised the 8 qualities into 4 and have come up with the acronym PECS.

P: Preparing the mind

This is the start-point of any Dhamma sharing. We must always check our minds on our intention and motivation to share the Dhamma. It must be a mind filled with kindness and compassion. We need to constantly remind ourselves that we are sharing the Dhamma and not to impose the teachings on other people. We need to learn to listen and respect other people’s points of view, however different they may be. 

I often remind myself of the Buddha’s advice in DN 1: If others criticise the Buddha, the Dhamma or the Saṅgha, we shouldn’t react with anger. If they praise, we shouldn’t become overly excited. Both reactions cloud our ability to discern clearly. 

One of the guiding principles of Dhamma practice is to unite people and not cause division due to our views. Ajahn Brahm constantly reminds us to be more kind than to be right. I often remind myself that if one goes away feeling negative or angry after the sharing, I would have cut off one avenue for that individual to learn the Dhamma. 

E: Encouraging, not pressuring

Don’t Preach, Plant Seeds: Lessons from the Suttas On How To Share The Dhamma

The Buddha never imposed. Even when Venerable Meghiya (AN9.3) insisted on going off alone to meditate against the Buddha’s advice, the Buddha simply said, “Do what you think it is time to do”. And when Meghiya returned disappointed, the Buddha did not scold him. He simply taught him the conditions for spiritual growth.

This story stays with me. It reminds me to respect someone’s conditions. Wisdom grows due to conditions and can’t be forced. Seeds planted today may bloom years later.

So I learn to speak gently and kindly,  though sometimes exasperation might arise in me due to my lack of patience. I praise what is wholesome. I try not to use fear or punishment to push someone into belief. Instead, I try to explain to them what is beneficial to them and what is not beneficial to them according to the Buddha. And I never assume that I know what is best for them. If someone disagrees with my view, I let it rest.

Forcing the Dhamma is the quickest way to make someone avoid it.

Most of the time, after a conversation, I thank the person for letting me share. It keeps my own heart soft and grateful.

C: Creating the Right Conditions

Over time, I’ve learnt that conditions matter as much as content. If someone is stressed, distracted, or emotionally charged, they will not absorb even the most profound teaching. The Buddha mentioned that the mind must be soft, malleable and not distracted to hear the teachings

So I pay attention. Is the person relaxed? Are they ready to listen? Are they hungry, tired, or in the middle of something? 

I try to keep things light when needed. A little humour goes a long way. Listening well goes even further. And when I notice that someone’s mind is settling, I share a teaching that is appropriate to their conditions.

The Buddha did this beautifully with Bhāradvāja the farmer (Snp1.4). When Bhāradvāja criticised him for not ploughing and planting, the Buddha replied using farming metaphors. Faith as seed, effort as rain, wisdom as the plough, mindfulness as the goad. He relates the teachings to the farmer, exactly how he can understand it in his capacity

This is the kind of skillfulness that I aspire to cultivate. It requires mindfulness and empathy more than knowledge itself.

S: Share Relatable Teachings

I’ve sat through many well-intentioned Dhamma sharings that were full of jargon and complexities. Pāli terms were used excessively without checking the audience’s understanding. Complex ideas delivered rapidly. And the listener was overwhelmed and drowned in the sea of jargon and ideas.

MN 139 makes this very clear: we should not insist on local language or override common lingo. We should speak according to how people normally speak or would understand, without attachment to our preferred terms. 

I also try to avoid sharing excessively, which sometimes I admit I fall into the trap because of my overzealous desire to share the Dhamma. I learned that sharing relatable experiences is very useful, and also the gradual path of Dhamma as a guide to see how much I should share is beneficial as well. 

The Gradual path:

  1. Dana – Generosity
  2. Sila – Morality
  3. Sagga – Heavenly Rebirth
  4. Adinava – Danger of Indulgence
  5. Nekkhamma – Renunciation
  6. 4 Noble Truths

Let me share with you a funny episode on how I didn’t share relatable teachings. Once, my colleague came up to me and said he wanted to understand more about Kamma. I was so excited that I started to share the concept of Kamma in its most glorious form. After my sharing, I still remember that I was so proud of my sharing. I was so excited that my colleague is so interested in Buddhism, so of course I needed to give my best shot at an explanation. I am so convinced that I had given the most detailed explanation of Kamma that he would have understood. 

After the sharing, I asked him for feedback with such esteemed pride. And now here comes the punchline. He apologetically said he actually wanted to know how Gamma works and not how Kamma works. Gamma is a financial term which measures the rate of change. We all had a good laugh. How “relatable” I can be!

Don’t Preach, Plant Seeds: Lessons from the Suttas On How To Share The Dhamma

There you go! I hope this sharing can help to give some framework on how we can share the Dhamma. I would like to end this by sharing what Ajahn Jayasaro said. He mentioned that we don’t have to be a perfect being to share the Dhamma. If you are ahead of the path, you can help to light up the path for the people who are walking behind you. Share what you know and what works, with honesty and sincerity. 

Sabbe sattā sukhitā hontu.
May all beings be well.

Wise Steps

  • Prepare your mind by checking for pride or anxiety and softening with three slow breaths, then set the intention “for the good of the many” before you say a word.
  • Encourage, not pressure, by asking “Would now be a good time to explore this?” and accept a no with grace, trusting seeds over force.
  • Create the right conditions by checking hunger, fatigue, and mood, and if minds are tight, suggest a tea break before any deep sharing.
Building My Clinic With Dhamma at Its Core: “You Can’t Always Cure but You Can Always Care”

Building My Clinic With Dhamma at Its Core: “You Can’t Always Cure but You Can Always Care”

by | Apr 3, 2026 | Being Buddhist, Career and workplace, Read

TLDR: Dhamma and business how I ran my chiropractor clinic with Buddhist principles at heart. Struggles with people-pleasing turned into lessons on right speech and running a business revealed where attachment and aversion hide.

Moving Home

Early last year, I made the decision to move home to Malaysia after spending 9 years abroad. It was a difficult decision as I loved the life I’d built in Singapore and the people I surrounded myself with. However, my mother’s health had been declining over the years, and my father was her only carer. 

I sat on the decision for a long time before I had the opportunity to share my dilemma with Ajahn Dhammasiha. With compassion, he reminded me of our debt of gratitude to our parents, and how the Buddha spoke of the importance of supporting our parents. 

He said that it would be hard to imagine me regretting the decision to move back to spend more time with my ageing parents. At that moment, as much as I was attached to the life that could have been in Singapore, I had my answer.

I think I knew all along; I just lacked the courage to act on it.

Starting a Business – My ‘WHY’

Building My Clinic With Dhamma at Its Core: “You Can’t Always Cure but You Can Always Care”

I’m a chiropractor and I’ve been in practice for 6 years. The thing that brings me most joy about work is getting to take care of people. When I first started out in university, I had a note pinned to my corkboard that read:

“To Help People; To Alleviate Suffering.”

Over the years, I’ve learned the hard way that while I can’t help every single person or alleviate suffering completely, the most important thing I can do is show care and offer my best. There is this quote by Ajahn Brahm that I take to heart and remember to this day:

“You can’t always cure, but you can always care.

After several years of being an associate and working for people, I felt this move back home was a perfect juncture to start my own chiropractic practice. This was a decision many years in the making, having prepared myself over the years.

Ease

Building My Clinic With Dhamma at Its Core: “You Can’t Always Cure but You Can Always Care”

With the aspiration to do good in mind, I started Ease Family Chiropractic. I wanted the name to remind me of Dhamma practice and to promote a sense of well-being. ‘Ease’ was a word that came up quite often in the English translation of Pali chants, and I particularly liked how that word made me feel when reciting ‘The Buddha’s Words on Loving-Kindness’:

“Wishing: In gladness and in safety, may all beings be at ease.”

Beginning Well

There is this Chinese saying that goes: 万事起头难 (The first step is always the most difficult). Starting this business felt like leaping into the unknown, and with that came a lot of mental turmoil. During this period, my formal meditation practice went out the window. In those moments of confusion and when I felt unsure, I found myself looking up the Mangala Sutta as my guide.

In the Mangala Sutta, one of the blessings that is conducive to happiness and prosperity is to set oneself in the right direction. Before starting the business, I reflected deeply on a few questions: Who do I want to serve? What do I want the business to look like in 5 years, 10 years? What are my non-negotiables? 

I made a gentle determination that my business would be rooted in the values of compassion, excellence, and honesty.  I knew deep in my heart that setting the groundwork and building the business on a good foundation was very important. I was mindful to express it through the space, the way we dress, the materials that we give out, and the words we use.

‘To be of good speech’ is a reminder that I hold very close to heart when creating the patient experience blueprint. I find this so hard to do well.  We took a lot of care with the language we used, from the choice of words on our intake forms to the words that my staff used when communicating with patients. 

My goal was to invoke a sense of safety, and not fear. When communicating with patients, I ask myself: is what we are saying true and beneficial? Am I saying this for the benefit of the patient, or for the benefit of my business?

Having worked in different clinics for different employers, I have learned how successful clinics are run. However, I also witnessed certain procedures and policies that weren’t necessarily ethical or done with the patient’s best interest at heart. I made a mental note to not adopt them for the sake of profit for the business.

People-Pleasing Tendencies

This process of setting up the business meant having to deal with many people while being on a tight timeline and budget. It meant having to confront people and resolve conflicts. I’ve always been adamant that if I were kind to people, they would be kind in return. 

This experience painfully exposed how my people-pleasing tendencies were a bigger problem than I thought. I realised how attached I was to the identity of a ‘nice’ person, and how averse I was to conflict. I didn’t realise it then, but these were all delusion, craving, and aversion at play. Being kind and being nice are not the same.

I had the most challenging time with the interior designers: work was not delivered on time, and output was not as promised. However, I found it incredibly challenging to confront them despite all the time and money that was at stake. I had visceral reactions whenever I had to have difficult conversations with them and felt like a bad person. 

I was worried that if I raised my dissatisfaction and did not accept their substandard output, I was going against my values of being ‘kind’. I remember thinking to myself, “maybe I’m not being empathetic enough”, “maybe it’s challenging for them too”, “what if they think bad things about me”. In retrospect, I wanted to control how others viewed me, which is an act of delusion.

Understanding Right Speech

In my moments of desperation, I reached out to friends for advice on how to practice right speech whilst not allowing myself to be taken advantage of. I was afraid that what I said was unkind and would upset others — I mistook pleasing others with words that are pleasing. 

I have learned that sometimes we do have to say things that are true and beneficial, but not pleasant to hear so that people do not continue making the same mistakes. Ajahn Sona shared that right speech is closely intertwined with right view and right intention. It is a skill we have to practice again and again. Whenever we slip, it’s always because the heart wasn’t in the right place.

Even when you’re saying things that are unpleasant, you have to show respect for the other person. Don’t show disdain; don’t show contempt. – Thanissaro Bhikkhu

This was me reaching out to a Dhamma friend to ask for advice on how to navigate difficult conversations

Content Creation

With social media being one of the most important tools of marketing, I had to use it despite all the anxiety that came with it. For a period of time, I was averse to social media and was off it for the months before the business started. I looked at it as something I had to do to get the business to take off. 

In the beginning, I was swayed by craving and ignorance, scrolling through the internet to find the fastest way to go viral and get the most engagement. I soon realised my motivations and saw that I didn’t at all enjoy the viral content I was trying to emulate. So why would I add to the noise? Am I cluttering up other people’s minds? I sat down and listed down the content creators whom I liked and whose content has genuinely inspired and uplifted me, and thought about the value I could offer. 

I recognised the power we all wield with social media and how we can use it both wisely and unscrupulously. The least I could do was to make sure that whatever I put out on the internet was well thought out and true to the best of my knowledge.

Mangala Sutta – The Blessings of Being Highly Trained

Beyond business development and marketing, I understood that the basis of the practice has to be my competence and knowledge as a chiropractor. That meant continued professional development, perfecting my craft and getting advice from good mentors. 

Ajahn Thanissaro once said in a talk:

“If you want to see/attain things you’ve never, you need to do things you’ve never done before. You can’t do just enough to get by. Hold yourself to a high standard.”

I drew parallels between work and advice on Dhamma practice, in both of which success comes from discipline and well-reasoned action.

In the same vein, throughout the process of renovations, I’ve relied on the help of property agents, contractors, construction workers, signboard makers and many others. I have a newfound appreciation for what they do, and the significance of every job. It helped me see that no matter what work it is that we do, if we do honest work wholeheartedly and hone our craft, that alone is enough to make a difference.

Wise Steps

  • Anchor your work with a clear ‘why’: We may not always cure but we can always care, shifting the focus from outcomes to compassion
  • Set the right direction before you begin: Reflect on who you want to serve and what values you refuse to compromise on.
  • Practice right speech in every interaction: Ask if your words are true and beneficial.
  • Distinguish between being kind and being nice: Learn to confront problems firmly yet respectfully.
Ep 57: From Dog Shit To Amitabha ft. Venerable Sumangala and Soon

Ep 57: From Dog Shit To Amitabha ft. Venerable Sumangala and Soon

by | Apr 23, 2025 | Podcast


Summary

In part 2 of our Handful of Leaves interview with Venerable Sumangala, she offers insights into applying Dhamma in leadership and daily interactions. Venerable Sumangala emphasises the power of right speech, the importance of understanding egos in decision-making, and practical ways to embed spiritual practice into busy modern life. The conversation reveals how ethical living and mindfulness can harmonize with professional success and personal well-being.


About the Speaker

Venerable Sumaṅgalā Therī is the Abbess of Ariya Vihara Buddhist Society and is an advisor of Gotami Vihara Society in Malaysia. She is one of the recipients of the 23rd Anniversary Outstanding Women Awards (OWBA) 2024, in honour of the United Nations International Women’s Day.

She holds a B.A. in Psychology and in 1999, she completed her M.A. in Industrial and Organizational Psychology, both from Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia. Furthering her academic and spiritual education, Ven. Sumaṅgalā Therī obtained an M.A. in Philosophy (Buddhism) from the International Buddhist College, Thailand in 2011.

Her formal journey into monastic life began in 2005 when she left the household life to become an Anagarika at the age of 19. Her ordination as a Dasasil (akin to a Sāmaṇerī) took place in November 2008 under the sacred Sri Mahābodhi at Bodhgaya, India. On 21 June 2015, she took her higher ordination under the guidance of preceptor Ven. B. Sri Saranankara Nāyaka Mahāthera – the Chief Judiciary Monk of Malaysia, and bhikkhuni preceptor-teacher Ayya Santinī Mahātherī of Indonesia.

In 2015, she pioneered the formation and registration of Ariya Vihara, Malaysia’s first Theravāda Bhikkhunī Nunnery and Dhamma Training Centre. In 2019, she received a government allocated land for the building of the project with construction to commence in the first half of 2025.


Key Takeaways

The Power of Right Speech

Mindful communication isn’t just a spiritual ideal—it’s a practical skill that can de-escalate tension, build trust, and create harmony, especially in workplaces where misunderstandings and egos often clash.

Ego Awareness Enables Better Leadership

Recognising the role of ego in ourselves and others allows us to navigate difficult decisions with compassion and clarity, fostering a more inclusive and balanced approach to teamwork and leadership.

Spiritual Practice Can Fit Into Everyday Life

You don’t need hours of meditation to live mindfully. Short moments of awareness—like mindful breathing, ethical choices, or chanting on your commute—can ground you and enhance well-being even on the busiest days.

Transcript

Full Transcript

[00:00:00] Venerable Sumangala: You dress so nicely. You make up so beautifully. But the moment you utter this word, all your makeup, all melt.

[00:00:11] Cheryl: Welcome to the Handful of Leaves podcast.

[00:00:13] Soon: Sometimes the path to success requires making extremely difficult situations that impacts others. How do you apply the Dhamma in everything that we do?

[00:00:23] Cheryl: We will speak to Venerable Sumangala, who is a fully ordained nun of 10 vassas to learn more.

[00:00:30] Soon: Like, you have to make a tough decision on a high visibility project, And there’s a new up and coming potential person that has little experience or there’s someone that has a lot of experience, but maybe is not as engaged as the other person. How do you make such difficult decisions?

[00:00:49] Venerable Sumangala: In our daily life or in a monastic life, we face actually the same thing. People come from all walks of life. And sometimes when we are a bit better than others in knowledge and skill, pride may come in. If we feel that we are indispensable, people will have to rely on us. And therefore like, why would a senior one who has experience become resistant to something that is probably their work. It’s because of their ego. Yeah. And then if you have somebody new, but they’re so eager to do because they also want to show their talent, that hopefully either they get a confirmation or they get promotion quickly. But in managing organization or group of people, human skill is very important. To manage people is the most difficult things to do in life.

[00:01:42] Venerable Sumangala: But if you learn to communicate, to rephrase your word in a more proper way, then we will be able to manage them well. Always advise people if you’re working, look at the company objective. So we based on the objective, then we won’t go wrong because that is how we move according to the objective.

[00:02:02] Venerable Sumangala: So if let’s say the senior, they’re a bit resistant. Maybe they want a bit of like praise or gratitude over their contribution. I think we should convey properly to both parties.

[00:02:14] Venerable Sumangala: Maybe we upgrade them a bit to become mentor or advisor. But then the new team, they can actually also perform and give their suggestion, we may give them a direction and then let them talk about their ideas, their perspective.

[00:02:30] Venerable Sumangala: So then it’s not a personal bias or personal favouritism. When two parties don’t come together, remember, don’t exclude anyone. Bring them together. How we phrase the word to talk to them is very important. So right speech and then encouragement and making them know that we are a team, we are working together to achieve the objective and think that will put down all the suspicion of favouritism or bias or being neglected.

[00:03:03] Soon: What you’re sharing has just confirmed to me is that right livelihood is very possible. The practice actually amplifies performance. Because sometimes what we as lay people, what we always see is spirituality is one thing and then material world is another thing. But what I’m hearing is that it’s possible to actually integrate spirituality into the material world and still do well.

[00:03:26] Soon: Yeah. When we are able to understand other people’s egos, we are also able to understand what their desires are, and we can speak to those desires to actually balance these difficult situations that we are put in.

[00:03:42] Cheryl: Venerable, because you touched on the idea of right speech as well, and I’m just reflecting back from conversations, and from peers and colleagues. Sometimes when someone is at the receiving end of being neglected or unfairly treated, right speech is the first to go. The gossip comes, the complaining comes.

[00:04:06] Cheryl: What would your advice be for people in these situations?

[00:04:10] Venerable Sumangala: We meet with different, different people. And again, people have different ways of communication. But I think in the office environment or in a working environment, even as a youth, I find nowadays we have many, many lingos that may not be so wholesome.

[00:04:29] Venerable Sumangala: For example, let’s say in my working environment I have this particular colleague, when she feels like a bit uneasy about something, she will say the word as hokkien she says “狗屎”, “狗屎“ means dog shit.

[00:04:43] Venerable Sumangala: So actually all these are not wholesome word at all. When I hear that. I just feel a bit uneasy. Why did she go and pick up such a word?

[00:04:50] Venerable Sumangala: But I don’t have the timely occasion to address it. So one day she came to my office and we were talking on something and suddenly this would come out again then that’s where I tell her, so far I see you, you dress so nicely. You make up so beautifully. But the moment you utter this word, all your makeup, all melt.

[00:05:12] Venerable Sumangala: If suddenly you wanna say this word out, I said, maybe you replace that word. You say amituofo, right? And then she also pick up.

[00:05:23] Venerable Sumangala: Yeah. And then after that, whenever we talk and suddenly the mind wants to say something like that, then she would say, ah. Then I would say, 善哉（Sadhu Sadhu) you know, and I find it so nice. And in family sometimes, people get angry, they give excuses to themselves, then they say what? “佛都有火”. What they’re saying is the Buddha also got anger just because they are angry.

[00:05:45] Venerable Sumangala: So I said, I never say this word. When a Buddha become a Buddha, they already don’t have any anger. How can you misrepresent the Buddha and say, the Buddha have anger just because you want to be angry.

[00:05:58] Venerable Sumangala: So I said, that is not correct. We have to be very mindful about our speech because speech can kill, speech can heal. In our modern world, so-called, we want to be “in”, so we all pick up all those unwholesome words unnecessarily. So now we have to recorrect our way of talking.

[00:06:17] Venerable Sumangala: I remember that one time. This new admin manager came. So I thought admin people maybe normally, they’re quite gentle, but to my surprise, because her background is working in a karaoke, they used to speak very strong, very macho and they use all kinds of words. For example, she will mention the word “P-O-K-K-A-I”(扑街）. So it is like like wishing you bad, wishing you disasters. Even as a head, as a branch manager, when the time comes, we need to address it. Chinese proverb — to learn good three years, to learn bad three days, but now no need, one button only the bad things will happen already. So it is so much mindfulness that we have to practice and in our daily conversation.

[00:07:02] Cheryl: A lot of the words that we picked up and we express it without thinking sometimes subconsciously increases our greed, hatred and delusion. But because words have the potential to heal, we should pick them very wisely. Thank you so much for all the different sharings that you provided us with and it’s so funny, I think I need to use more amituofo. I would like to leave us with one last question which is, what is the significance of taking refuge in the Triple Gem in a society that values material success?

[00:07:36] Venerable Sumangala: We all are given 24 hours a day. For young people struggling to find time for spiritual practice, remember the word busy in Chinese stems from two words, busy means “heart die”.

[00:07:50] Venerable Sumangala: So if we keep thinking that we are very busy, we have no time, to practice, then we also have to use it in a way that reflecting when we are busy, and we keep saying we are busy, means we use the word the

[00:08:06] Venerable Sumangala: “heart die” (忄+ 亡 = 忙）,

[00:08:09] Venerable Sumangala: So you will think again, would you want your heart to die?

[00:08:13] Venerable Sumangala: Because when your heart die, you cannot feel, and that’s where you get into trouble. So in order for us to be more objective and more grounded, we have to put time for balancing between our work life, our family life, and also our spiritual life.

[00:08:30] Venerable Sumangala: In the past, when I was a lay person working, normally lunchtime would be my good time, one hour. So after taking my lunch for about 30 minutes, I like to be alone during my lunch, because whole day I’ll be meeting people, and then after that I would go to my office, just sit on the chair, close my eyes and forget the whole world, just relax, and be aware of the breath, doing nothing, not even controlling the breath and just let be for 10, 15 minutes. You’d be surprised that the body start to rejuvenate back and again, the wakefulness and energy.

[00:09:04] Venerable Sumangala: Secondly, when driving to the office, I normally do chanting in the car so I don’t waste time. So when you walk to the office, then you can exercise walking meditation, just enjoy your walking. So actually in practice, we don’t have any reason why we cannot practice. We can practice anytime, anywhere. But you just need to know how to do it, what to do, and then discipline and make the right effort to do it. So it can be done. We have to prioritise the way our lifestyle accordingly to what is healthy and what brings happiness, what brings wellbeing, and also the freedom in the mind.

[00:09:45] Venerable Sumangala: The Buddha say practice Dana, Sila, Bhavana. Dana, be generous. Be kind. Offer your service. Share with others right? Then second, Sila means practice morality. Morality here means ethical conduct in our life. It’s a principle of life. For example, we do not want or we not wish to be harmed or to be killed. So what should we do?

[00:10:09] Venerable Sumangala: We should not harm and we should not kill. It’s as simple as that. It’s nothing like very religious or far idea about how we can live or what we should do. Like, for example, the five precepts. If we not wish our belongings to be stolen, then we don’t take other people’s thing. It’s as simple as that.

[00:10:30] Venerable Sumangala: And if we want other people to be faithful to us, we don’t conduct sexual misconduct. The trust, the faith is there. And if we do not want people to cheat us and bluff us, then we do not speak falsely. That will cause mistrust.

[00:10:47] Venerable Sumangala: So people will respect us, will give us trust, and therefore because of that, they will associate with us and give us opportunity, let’s say doing business because trustable people will lead to good result. And then the fifth one, to abstain, the principle not to make our mind blur or confused by drinking alcohol or taking drugs.

[00:11:10] Venerable Sumangala: And even now I tell them it is in your pantry. Some people can drink coffee three, four cups a day. That is addiction already. We have to be very careful because we think that that will give us the wakefulness, but actually it will cause harm to the body.

[00:11:24] Soon: It reminds me of a quote by Mark Twain, “many people die at 27 but are buried at 72.”

[00:11:33] Soon: A lot of us, we let life take over us, right? We don’t exercise, we sleep late, we wake up early and our life falls apart and we just get pulled by life in all directions.

[00:11:45] Soon: And I think what I got out of this sharing is that it is not that hard to have a good practice. Just taking a short break taking a few deep breaths. And in summary, if you are wise, it’s easy to be happy. That’s true. Because you better decisions and you are more present with life.

[00:12:05] Cheryl: So we come to the end of this episode. For all our listeners, please subscribe to us on YouTube and Spotify. And we see you in the next episode. May you stay happy and wise. Thank you.



Special thanks to our sponsors:

Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña, Shuo Mei, Arif, Bernice, Wee Teck, Andrew Yam, Kan Rong Hui, Wei Li Quek, Shirley Shen, Ezra, Joanne Chan, Hsien Li Siaw, Gillian Ang, Wang Shiow Mei, Ong Chye Chye, Melvin, Yoke Kuen, Nai Kai Lee, Amelia Toh, Hannah Law


Editor and transcriber of this episode:

Hong Jia Yi, Ang You Shan, Tan Si Jing, Bernice Bay, Cheryl Cheah


Visual and Sound Effects

Anton Thorne, Tan Pei Shan, Ang You Shan


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#WW:🤭 Saying no at work when you’re a people pleaser.

#WW:🤭 Saying no at work when you’re a people pleaser.

by | Mar 15, 2023 | Read, Wholesome Wednesdays

Wholesome Wednesdays (WW): Bringing you curated positive content on Wednesdays to uplift your hump day.

One of the key tenets of the Buddha’s eightfold path is ‘right speech’ . Sometimes, we may mistake practising ‘right speech’ as trying to never ‘say no’. How can we improve the way we say no at work so that we protect our space? In addition, how what is a quick way to understand right speech? Here are two helpful materials for us to practice wise speech at the workplace. 

1. 7 tips for saying no at work without destroying relationships
2. 4 types of speech to avoid

7 tips for saying no at work without destroying relationships

Cr: Unsplash

What’s going on here & Why we like it

Amy Rigby, a writer at fingerprint for success, shares 7 tips on how to say no at work and examples that you can apply immediately. We found this useful as it highlights principles to keep in mind when extra work wanders into our inbox and we struggle between working late and being the ‘ugly’ colleagues who says no. Amy also provides ways to say no such as “ I’m honoured you asked for my help. but” or “I wish I could, but..” followed by “that does not sound like a good fit for me” or “ I am working on other projects right now”. Give it a try! You never know how much time you can save by saying no.

“You don’t have to go into great detail about why you’re declining. A simple ‘my schedule is packed this week’ is fine.”

Wise Steps

  • When was the last time you said no and protect your breathing space at work/ at home?
  • Practise some of these examples and apply them to an unreasonable request that next comes your way.

Check out the post here or below!

4 types of speech to avoid

Cr: Phra Nick’s Youtube Channel on 5 tools for better speech

What’s going on here & why we like it

Venerable Nick, a monk living in Thailand who is active on youtube for his short videos of Dhamma, shares more about right speech and easy examples for us to understand and practice in day to day life. His calm voices guides through the Buddha’s right speech which is often missing at the workspace and in the online world. He shares 5 tools for us to practice better speech.

“Come back and check on why you are sharing what you are sharing…I am sharing this story, what is the point of that?”

Wise Steps

  • Contemplate: Which part of the 4 speeches do I need to improve on?
  • Practice: Apply the 5 tools for practising right speech for a happier and more peaceful life

Watch it here

#WW: 😅”Nah, I played a small role.”: How often do we refuse praise?

#WW: 😅”Nah, I played a small role.”: How often do we refuse praise?

by | Nov 23, 2022 | Read, Wholesome Wednesdays, Work, finance, productivity

Wholesome Wednesdays (WW): Bringing you curated positive content on Wednesdays to uplift your hump day.

Be humble. Don’t claim credit. Heard this at work or during projects? How often do we undermine ourselves at work and amongst friends? Here are two stories today to help you take credit when it is due and how to remove hesistance

1. I don’t deserve it, other people do much more.

2. Interrupting your what ifs

I don’t deserve it, other people do much more.

Cr: Unsplash

What’s going on here & Why we like it

Ajahn Brahm, a famous Buddhist monk, shares his personal experience of refuting praise as a norm and his further reflections on it. We have time-stamped the segment on this talk for those busy folks! In Asian societies, taking credit can be frowned upon and we sometimes feel devalued. Ajahn Brahm reminds us to celebrate our wins and have a little fun

“I was saying no. I don’t deserve it, other people do much more than me….I realised I deserved that and that changed me. I started to realise how often we refuse praise and how wonderful it is when we accept praise”

Wise Steps

Taking in praise enables us to strive harder and be worthy of future praises. Take in the little wins of life that makes you smile!

Check out the video here or below!

https://youtu.be/FgqytieFvqI?t=2619

Interrupting your what ifs

Cr: Unsplash

What’s going on here & why we like it

Mel Robbins, a famous podcaster, shares how we can overcome resistance and a ruminating mind that keeps playing through our what-ifs. We like it because we are often paralysed by the prospect of failures and do not see the possibilities. Comfort can become a place that holds us back from reaching out towards a brighter and happier life.

“What if it all works out? What if this turns out to be the hardest thing I do but the best decision I’ve made.”

Wise Steps

When was the last time you placed a bet on yourself and not what others said? Try Mel’s technique of replacing the critic within with something more supportive.