TLDR: Can/should Buddhists celebrate Christmas? Is that the right question to ask? To give the intangible, share metta, and give up the unwholesome — these are some ways we can celebrate this season of giving.
The possible awkwardness in Buddhists celebrating Christmas
“You can meh?” was the start of that imagined awkwardness of a Buddhist celebrating Christmas. The notion of enjoying another religion’s holy day while being firmly grounded in Buddhism made me feel ‘awkward’.
The question arose as I walked with friends to observe the Christmas light up at Orchard road. “Should I be enjoying this?”, “Should I be singing Christmas songs and giving gifts?”, “Is this against what Buddha taught?” were thoughts that ran through my mind as my Christian friend asked me “You can meh?”.
He was concerned for a ‘serious’ Buddhist like me, who had to stroll through the nativity scenes put up in Orchard Road to celebrate Christmas. He thought that celebrating Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ, might be ‘against my religion’.
Rather than asking, “okay to celebrate?” we should ask ourselves how we can grow our goodness this season.
A Christ-Buddhamas?
Often, we tend to divide our world into a binary one of ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, ‘us’ or ‘them’.
Learning the Buddha’s middle path of balance and wisdom helps pull us away from such extremes. We develop a tendency to slow down our reactions and enrich our responses to the world around us.
December, the month of Christmas, offers Buddhists and Christians alike an opportunity to reflect on a topic dear to both traditions: Giving. The late Thai forest teacher Ajahn Chah illustrates this best.
An excerpt from one of the recollections of his teachings:
—
How can they (monks) celebrate Christmas?
A group of the Western monks decided last year to make a special day of Christmas, with a ceremony of gift-giving and merit-making.
Various other disciples of mine questioned this, saying, “If they’re ordained as Buddhists, how can they celebrate Christmas? Isn’t this a Christian holiday?”
In my Dharma talk, I explained how all people in the world are fundamentally the same. Calling them Europeans, Americans, or Thais just indicates where they were born or the color of their hair, but they all have basically the same kind of minds and bodies; all belong to the same family of people being born, growing old, and dying. When you understand this, differences become unimportant.
Similarly, if Christmas is an occasion where people make a particular effort to do what is good and kind and helpful to others in some way, that’s important and wonderful, no matter what system you use to describe it.
So I told the villagers, ‘Today we’ll call this Chrisbuddhamas. As long as people are practicing properly, they’re practicing Christ-Buddhism, and things are fine.”
I teach this way to enable people to let go of their attachments to various concepts and to see what is happening in a straightforward and natural way.
Anything that inspires us to see what is true and do what is good is proper practice. You may call it anything you like.
—
Ajahn Chah’s tongue-in-cheek yet compassionate take on Christmas spreads the flavour of Dhamma better than any Christmas log cake.
We are often caught up with technicalities and terms, forgetting the essence behind them. We tend to see differences rather than similarities.
Applying Ajahn Chah’s comments to my experience, I should not have worried whether I was ‘violating’ the Buddha’s teachings by singing songs.
Rather I should have been more concerned whether the words I said were compassionate and kind. Was I ‘giving’ kindness to those that I spoke to? Did I give when the opportunity arose? Or did I hold back when others needed me?
What can we do this Christmas?
Beyond ‘doing’ Christmas stuff like eating, meeting friends and gift exchanges, how can we better embody the festive season this December as Buddhists?
Here are 3 ways.
1. Give thoughtful Gifts
Bring mindfulness into the act of giving. We may give someone a material gift that helps them through tough times or if we wish to ‘rebel’ against materialism, we can give our time and effort to friends.
Giving them a call, taking them out for tea/coffee, going for a hike are great ways to give! We may not have a lot of money to buy gifts, but we can give in many ways.
Recollecting that Jesus praised a poor widow who gave a few cents of her wealth as a greater gift than the rich crowd who gave a large sum. It is not the amount but rather the intention and heart that matters.
2. Sit! Do a loving-kindness (metta) meditation
This gift may not be an obvious choice to give during Christmas but it has strong lasting effects. The act of cultivating goodwill for all sentient beings and wishing them to be well and happy can change your attitude to friends, family, and your social circles.
This meditation technique is excellent for those of us who struggle with anger and jealousy. Sharing a feeling of gratitude and kindness with all beings softens our hearts and uplifts our minds.
This practice gives others a sense of protection that you will never harm them while keeping your mind light and bright (even brighter than the Christmas tree at Vivo City)
3. Reflect on generosity
Beyond giving thoughtful gifts & cultivating metta, we can delve deeper into generosity. The act of giving comes with the spirit of letting go. The eradication of “the attachment that comes from feelings of scarcity and separateness” as Vipassana teacher Philip Moffit describes Dana (Generosity).
For some of us, this might mean letting go of our greed and selfishness. For others, Christmas can be a time to examine biases towards people of other religions.
What matters is that we are giving up mind states that cause us to feel negative. We then open ourselves up to giving and love.
Same same but different?
These 3 ways can help us Buddhists celebrate the Christmas spirit of giving and not get caught up in the consumerism of gifts.
This attitude perhaps resonates with many churches who lament about the materialism that has plagued their favourite holiday. In this way, the holiday can be turned away from the usual feast of consumerism and toward a period of interfaith solidarity.
Following the 3 ways of making merit, giving can be seen as both a beginning to the Buddhist path and as a component of the path in its entirety. May you find the beginning of giving this Christmas!
So rather than asking ‘okay to celebrate?’ we should ask ourselves ‘how can we grow our goodness’ this season.
P.S. In case you are wondering if Buddhists have their ‘season of giving’, there is!
Theravādin countries (e.g. Thailand, Myanmar) celebrate Kathina, a festival where lay people offer basic goods to monks and nuns such as robes, bowls, medicine, and food. Monastics, in turn, give religious teachings to the laypeople. You can read more about this Buddhist season of giving here!
Wise Steps:
Don’t get caught up by labels (e.g. Christmas) especially if that prevents you from practising the values of generosity.
Find non-material ways to give! Be it metta meditation, being there for someone, or giving up bad habits
TLDR: As “spiritual people” we might go through difficult events thinking we have transcended them – but actually, it may have just been spiritual bypass. To truly let something go, we must first find a way to meet ourselves and our suffering.
A phenomenon I’ve often observed within me is spiritual bypass. According to clinical psychologist John Welwood, this is the tendency to use spiritual explanations and practices to avoid facing unresolved emotional issues and psychological wounds.
Why It’s Problematic
With spiritual bypass, we may go through something traumatic and then pick out a line of Dhamma and think, “Yeah, the Buddha said this and he’s right, so I should get over it now.”
For example, say someone close to you has passed away. Spiritual bypass in this situation may look like telling yourself that “everything is impermanent” and that “death is natural, it happens to everyone” so “I shouldn’t feel grief”.
You use the Dhamma to rationalise the grief away – but without healthily processing the emotions that naturally arise.
This is problematic because externally, it may appear like you’ve been able to transcend the suffering, completely unaffected – but you haven’t actually done the real work of processing the painful experience and unpleasant emotions that come with it.
Without properly taking the time to receive these things and truly let them go, they might stay repressed, festering away until they come back to bite you in the a** later on.
I’m Buddhist, so I Should Just Get Over It
Something that can make this tendency worse is a strong attachment to “being Buddhist”. You may hold yourself to very high standards, putting pressure on yourself to “be strong” and “get over it”, thinking you need to be unfazed by suffering.
“I am Buddhist, so I shouldn’t be angry. Instead, I should be contented.”
“I am Buddhist, so I should be beyond such petty emotions.”
“I am Buddhist, so I should be able to let go of suffering.”
From my experience, this can be a kind of conceit. It’s a deluded expectation stemming from a heavy attachment to a “Buddhist identity” – an idealism about how your practice “should” look like, instead of working with what actually arises.
You may feel guilt or aversion around the unwholesome thoughts, intentions and desires that inevitably arise. And because of the shame, you want to hide them away, from others and even from yourself.
But what happens when you don’t allow yourself to process all that?
It doesn’t just disappear. Instead, it gets buried in the heart and resurfaces later on.
In my late teens, I experienced several traumatic events and at the time, spiritually bypassed them and then left to study abroad (which was a niceee, biiig distraction).
Years later, when I returned home during the pandemic to familiar conditions with lots of quiet, idle time, many of those unresolved negative emotions and thought patterns began to resurface.
It was surprising because for the last three years I thought I was “fine” for the most part. But evidently, I had just swept things into “the basement of unawareness”. Now that they’d reappeared, it was time to clear out the basement – to finally meet myself and deal with the repressed suffering.
This was important because, as Pema Chödrön says, “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know”.
So, How Should We Approach Suffering?
We know that everything is impermanent. We know that everything decays and dies one day.
We often know the Dhamma very well on an intellectual level.
But if intellectual understanding was all it took to let go, then everyone would be enlightened, wouldn’t they?
How do we apply the Dhamma beyond just a conceptual level?
In Thai, one of the terms for the mind is jit jai – “mind and heart”. There’s an ambiguity in the language that likens the mind to the heart. To me, this seems to say that processing things up in the head is not enough – we must also deal with them on an emotional level.
One of my favourite authors, Yung Pueblo, says “Manage your reactions, but do not suppress your emotions.”
Certainly, if there is, say, anger in the heart, we should take care to ensure that it doesn’t leak into our actions and speech in a way that harms ourselves and others. We might have to suppress it for that little while, but then we should make sure to process it healthily later on – this is necessary so that it can really be let go of.
Of course, this sounds straightforward in theory, but it takes a lot of skill to acknowledge these emotions without indulging in or avoiding them.
One way I practice receiving negative emotion is by being mindful of how it feels in the body. Focusing on how anger physically feels and changes helps me to receive it without indulging in it or denying it. However, I find this difficult to do for certain emotions (e.g. depression, which tends to lure you in and make you want to wallow in it), if I have a strong attachment to the issue at hand, or if my mindfulness is weak at that time.
Apart from mindfulness, the Buddha recommends five ways to remove distracting thoughts, which you can read about here. What works for you may depend on your temperament.
Letting Go of Repressed Dukkha
A process I find effective for dealing with old negative emotions is this:
1. Returning to familiar conditions in which the trauma took place can cause these old emotions to resurface. So if a situation is too triggering, remove yourself from it to prevent unwholesome speech and action.
2. Find a way to calm down. Interestingly, Ajahn Munindo suggests that meditation might not be that helpful at this time. If you’re completely agitated but try to meditate, you might just be mentally proliferating the whole time. Or you might just be tranquillizing yourself and not feeling your emotions – making it a form of spiritual bypass! What has worked for me is doing something physical with that energy, such as taking a long walk.
3. When you’re calm enough, receive the emotion. Let yourself feel all of it. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to vent, do it with a trustworthy friend. I remember a story by Ajahn Sumedho, who had so much aversion towards a particular visitor to the monastery that he sat down one day and just began writing out all his anger –completely unfiltered, not trying to be nice or reasonable or “a good monk” – until there was none left. This is acceptance and release.
4. I find that receiving the emotion comes hand-in-hand with developing insight around it. When your mind is calm enough to look at the situation, you may develop new perspectives and understandings. These “paradigm shifts” are the real good stuff that helps to create lasting “liberation” from the issue. Bit by bit, they help you make sense of the experience and let go of it.
For me, this process usually takes place over a few days. You may also find that you have to go through it multiple times. That’s because, after some time, these habitual mindsets that we carry can become cemented in the psyche, becoming our “default mode”. Reframing these thoughts can thus be very challenging – so don’t be afraid to even seek guidance from a therapist.
To quote Yung Pueblo again, “If the pain was deep, you will have to let it go many times… Letting go is not a one-time event, it is a habit that requires constant repetition to become strong. Sometimes the reaction to the pain is so deep that you will have to observe and release the tension repeatedly to fully cleanse the wound.”
With each cycle, you might find that you let go a little bit more.
Wise Steps:
If you realise that something within your heart is unresolved, the first step is to let it come to the surface. Practice loving-acceptance.
Recognise your triggers and set boundaries for yourself. If certain situations are too much to handle, remove yourself from them. When you feel stronger, you may test the waters further in the future – but for now, protect your mind.
Having to deal with old trauma may feel like you’re regressing, but it is actually progress. Be patient and kind with yourself throughout this (often painful but rewarding) process.
TLDR: With wisdom, we wake up to achieve our human potential. With mindfulness and metta, we rest our minds. Gathering the Buddha’s teachings, I reflect on waking and sleeping better.
Time flies. Days and nights passing away. How are we spending our time?
I pull overtime at my job almost daily. Time passes in a blur as if I were on a roller coaster ride. Exhaustion and sleep punctuate work; work thoughts disrupt my sleep.
Waking up, pangs of dread overwhelm the heart — the daily existence is a grind.
Despite the grind, an awareness that ‘Life can be better,’ nags on. The heart is eager for nourishment.
Two Important Moments Of The Day
If waking up and sleeping point to the start and the end of a day, they become two important moments. A question then surfaces, “What is a skillful way to sleep and to wake?”
What does the Buddha and the Sangha (the community of monastics) recommend? Tucking this question in mind, I sought for answers.
In a weekly morning podcast by Dhammagiri Forest Hermitage, I posed the question to my teacher Venerable Ajahn Dhammasiha. He is a German monk residing in Brisbane, Australia. His answer is simple:
“The Buddha teaches us to be mindful all the way to the moment we sleep.“
Lying down mindfully (on our right), we direct our minds to the time we wish to wake up the next morning. Intend to wake up by then. Thereafter, focus the mind on a suitable meditation object, such as loving-kindness (metta or thoughts of goodwill). Thinking:
‘May all beings be well and happy. May I be well and happy. May everyone be free from suffering. May all be safe and at ease…’
At the first moment of waking up, we develop metta within our hearts. We then radiate warmth and kindness in all directions.”
The Resolution to be Kind
Here, I recall a teaching from Venerable Ajahn Anan. Ajahn Anan is a Thai Forest Tradition master and the abbot of Thai Monastery Wat Marp Jan. He reminds us of the following:
“Waking up, be determined to not give in to anger and ill-will. Be resolute to be kind and compassionate to others because all beings are suffering.
Making this determination doesn’t mean that the mind will not experience anger or ill-will later in the day. We need to train our minds to let go:
‘What is the point of being angry when I am going to die? What’s the point of fear? We are all going to die- death is the culmination of our lives. It is inevitable that we will die.’ Knowing this, anger is a waste of our precious time.”
Fighting against the Sweet Nectar of Snooze
For some night-owl like me, waking up does not often translate to getting out of bed immediately. Zzzng zzng. Snooze. Just one more minute. Zzng zzng zzng. Snooze, repeat. Sounds familiar? All that snoozing conditions the mind for more sloth and laziness at our first opportunity for exertion.
There is simply too much inertia to overcome in the morning. This is evident if the day did not bring anything promising to look forward to. What can we do?
Venerable Ajahn Dhammasiha suggests automatic lighting that switches on with chanting, instead of a regular alarm. Now, that is creative. I wish my home had smart lighting. For those who use analog light switches, the next best option is to set your alarm tone with a recording of the Pali morning chant and spring up for the lights upon “Arahaṁ sammāsambuddho bhagavā…”
Is this challenge possible? What makes me so sure a perpetual snoozer would jump up at that?
Contemplating Hell to Roast Us Back to Reality
For monks in the Thai Forest Tradition, they sleep less and wake up earlier than most of us in the wee hours of the morning. How do they do that?
Venerable Ajahn Chah, the teacher of both Venerable Ajahn Anan and Venerable Ajahn Dhammasiha, had a curious way of training his disciples to wake up on time as the abbot of Wat Pah Pong, a Thai Forest monastery. I paraphrase Venerable Ajahn Chah’s exhortation as follows:
“When you are awake, think, ‘Should I return to sleep, may I drop to hell when I die.’ Really believe in this and you dare not return to bed.”
A fellow practitioner I know uses this method with much success for his morning spiritual routine. For those who are not ready to believe in hell’s existence or who prefer a gentler but no less serious reminder, contemplate death:
“Life is uncertain. Death is certain. I am grateful for being alive today. Death can come at any time. May I make use of what limited time I have as a human being. May I exert energy for the benefit of myself and others.”
Having tried these contemplations personally, the mind may still not be fully awake to gain physical momentum to get out of bed. During these trying moments, we must rely on our sheer willpower to pull away the covers:
Change the posture to sit up. Plant both feets to the ground. Stand. Head for the lights. Then, step out of the door.
The struggle is worth it. A day of opportunity awaits.
What is the Reward?
The still silence of the morning permeates our hearts as we go about our routine. For many practitioners, they allow themselves to soak up the joy and peace arising from the morning chanting and meditation (more on chanting in another article).
To rise early with a clear mind demands the discipline to sleep early. Hence, we cannot be greedy with screen time on our electronic devices.
To borrow the following wisdom from our Christian friends:
“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens” – Ecclesiastes 3
There is a time for us to rest; a time to wake.
With wisdom, we wake up to achieve our human potential. With mindfulness and metta, we rest our minds. Wishing all beings wakeful and restful moments, always.
Wise Steps:
Start your morning with feelings of metta, or goodwill, to all beings around you!
Know what can move you out of laziness in bed? Contemplating hell? Or contemplating Death?
Instead of simply battling to rise out of bed, explore what also encourages you to sleep early! (E.g. Locking your electronics away at 1130pm to reduce blue light exposure)
Ghost Month Series: This series explores different angles of the 7th Lunar Month, also known as the Ghost Month. Festivals, Cultures, and Religions often mix together in one place, offering space for different interpretations. We, like you, are keen to explore more. Discern what is helpful to your practice and discard whatever is not.
TLDR: Cultivating a harmless and blameless way of life gives you internal confidence in the face of fear. We can also try to practice compassion towards supernatural beings, in place of fear.
If you clicked on this article because you read the title and thought “that’s me!” – there is no shame. I feel like most people have some level of fear around the supernatural – even those who claim to believe in scientific evidence, who say they don’t believe in ghosts. Put anyone in a graveyard in the middle of the night and all rationality goes out the window!
When I was a kid, I was definitely afraid of ghosts.
When I told my mum this, she said something like: “If you never do anything bad, why would they need to come after you?” She always said this with such conviction and fearlessness.
Her statement was a teaching in sīla (morality). It’s the idea that when we take care of our speech and conduct, we offer the gifts of harmlessness and fearlessness to ‘limitless numbers of beings’. In return, we gain a share in this freedom from harm and danger (see AN 8.39).
I once heard a story from my Ajahn, a monk from the Thai forest tradition, who said that one shouldn’t practice in the forest if one’s sīla is not well-kept. He told of an incident where an Ajahn brought a group of monks to stay in the forest for a few days. In the end, all the monks made it out except two who had died during the journey. When asked why this happened, the Ajahn replied that it was because they did not have good sīla.
In case you didn’t know, the Thai forest Ajahns are super hardcore. They live in deep forests with nothing material for protection, putting their lives on the line to do the practice – that’s the depth of their faith in the Buddha and his teachings.
That may have made you go ‘sure anot’, but I resonate with it because I’ve seen the impact of practising sīla in my life. When I was younger, I had a lot of fear around the idea of supernatural beings. But I found that as I grew up and started practising Dhamma, that fear began to reduce and a sense of confidence began to grow. In situations where fear arises (e.g. alone in my apartment at night, in a dark forest on a retreat), I recollect my sīla. Knowing that I have done my best to keep my precepts well and to live a wholesome life helps to soothe that fear.
Since I consistently put in effort not to harm other beings, I have no reason to be harmed or to fear being harmed. It’s reassuring, and not in a ‘wishful thinking’ kind of way – it’s a sense of real confidence in my actions and their results.
Good Vibes Are Important
I believe that cultivating wholesomeness creates wholesome energy. OK, this may sound a bit like hippie flower child stuff but hear me out.
Have you ever been to a monastery or church and the energy there just feels serene and safe? I think it’s because the activities and intentions carried out there are peaceful and wholesome, and this translates into the energy of the place.
In 2019, I stayed at Wat Buddha Dhamma (WBD) in New South Wales for a retreat. This monastery was located deep in the forest of a national park and there were times where I felt fear walking from the meditation hall back to my hut in the dark of the night, with only my torch and the moon for some light. But I realized that this fear was all in my mind; there were probably no beings around that would harm me. That’s because I could feel that the energy of the monastery was light and wholesome, given that all activities there were aimed towards peace.
The forest at Wat Buddha Dhamma
I think wholesome energy is important because energy attracts and influences, a bit like how we attract or gravitate towards like-minded people. If one constantly aims to cultivate wholesomeness in thought, speech and conduct, this is bound to permeate one’s surroundings. A good example is a friend of mine who has had many (sometimes aggressive) encounters with ghosts throughout their life.
Recently, they noticed that since performing more acts of generosity and wholesomeness, they haven’t been visited by such beings lately.
Perhaps a good landmark example of the importance of “good vibes” can be found in the teachings of the Buddha: In the time of the Buddha, there was a group of monks who were disturbed by certain beings when they tried meditating in a particular forest. When they went to the Buddha and informed him of this, he taught them the Discourse on Loving-Kindness (Metta Sutta) for their protection.
The monks then went back to the forest, practised this instruction, and radiated thoughts of loving-kindness, so much so that the beings were subdued by this and allowed them to meditate in peace.
What are Ghosts Really?
I think movies and stories throughout human history have created a universal perception of ghosts as scary beings that pop up out of nowhere and want to kill you for some reason. But actually, what is a ghost?
The Hungry Ghost Festival is celebrated every July of the Lunar calendar in Chinese culture. It is believed that during this time, ghosts are allowed to come to earth for a visit… In my mind, the concept that ghosts wait all year to ‘come out’ only to hang around for one month and then obediently ‘go back’ to where they came from is pretty funny. I think ghosts are everywhere all the time since they’re just another type of being in one of the 31 planes of existence according to Buddhist teachings.
They are born into this lower realm because of past unwholesome deeds or the lack of wholesome deeds. They are in a state of constant deprivation, equivalent to beggars or homeless people in the human realm who need help because they don’t have enough to fend for themselves.
Based on the principle of rebirth, these beings could even be people we knew, such as departed relatives and friends, who may come to us looking for help.
If we keep this in mind, then we don’t need to be afraid – what they need from us is compassion and merit.
I have another friend who often has supernatural encounters at home. It’s come to a point where we no longer speak about these beings in a taboo or fearful way; they are like any other being in need of help. Following the Buddha’s advice, my friend makes offerings on behalf of them and shares the merit with them as an act of generosity and compassion.
The Bottom Line
If you took nothing else away from this article, just remember this: continue cultivating wholesome qualities and abandoning unwholesome qualities, and trust in the strength of that for protection.
Wise Steps:
Recollect the qualities of the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha. Personally, recollecting the qualities of the Buddha helps because the purity of the Buddha feels so powerful and awe-inspiring that it makes this fear or the object of fear seem mundane and trivial.
Mindfully watch the fear in your body.For me, fear arises in the heart space like a sharp, cold sensation. Centring your attention on bodily sensations can help you focus on the reality of the fear rather than the narratives in your mind being fueled by it.
Recite the Metta Sutta and emit thoughts of loving-kindness.
TLDR: Is Metta Meditation really beneficial? Jin Young shares his own personal practice and his relationship with loving kindness meditation. A 30-min guided meditation is included. You’re invited to test it out for yourself.
When you don’t know what to do, try out metta or loving kindness meditation.
Encountering Metta MeditationMy first encounter with metta was listening to Imee Ooi’s “Chant of Metta ”. Imee’s voice was angel-like, saccharine and soothing. I especially enjoyed her chanting of the Metta Sutta in Pali language, albeit not knowing much about the actual meaning behind those words back then.
My mom would sometimes play the CD around bedtime, and I guess it must have had some sort of sleep-inducing effect, much like lullabies for babies.
Lighting My Fire Of Metta
When I was fifteen, I sat through my first metta meditation under the guidance of Ajahn Brahm. Ajahn explained that the cultivation of metta is analogous to starting a fire. You can’t start a fire by lighting up a huge log.
Rather, you need kindling, easily combustible materials for starting a fire such as papers or small little twigs. Once the fire is started, one then adds on larger and larger twigs before moving on to solid pieces of wood.
When the fire is well maintained, you can further grow it until the passion of loving kindness is strong enough to embrace the whole universe and even your worst enemies.
But first, we need to start with kindling. Ajahn told us to visualize someone whom we can readily feel and send loving kindness to. For me, it was my late grandmother who had taken care of me when I was young. She showered me with unconditional love.
“Dear Ahma”
“The door of my heart is open to you”
“I will take care of you”
“May you be safe, well and happy”.
With these words, I felt my chest and heart glowing with love and warmth. We then proceed to send similar thoughts and wishes to our other family members, friends, acquaintances, animals, and all sentient beings.
It was an empowering experience to meditate on metta with Ajahn Brahm. The flame of “metta” was passed on from Ajahn to us, and from us to our loved ones and on and on.
Keeping the Metta Flame Glowing
Since then, I’ve tried my best to keep this flame alive wherever I go. In Selangor, I joined the Buddhist Gem Fellowship and attended a weekly guided metta meditation by Datuk Seri Dr. Victor Wee, another lay-teacher and compassionate mentor.
Dr. Wee’s cues were slightly different from Ajahn Brahm’s, but the spirit of loving kindness was the same.
I brought the practice of metta meditation with me to Japan and China, where I studied abroad for four years. Whenever I missed my family, encountered negative events, or felt like I was stuck in an uncertain and helpless situation, I turned to metta meditation for help.
I like to believe that by sending my thoughts of loving-kindness to my family and friends, they are protected by my wishes, and become well and happy.
By sending metta to a professor or a superior, he or she would give me an A+ or a pay raise (I’m only half-kidding). By sending it to someone with whom I’ve had a negative encounter, relationships will slowly turn for the better, enmity and ill will shall be transformed into love and light.
No, Metta doesn’t Solve Everything
Of course, there’s no guarantee that metta will always convert “negativity” into “positivity”, nor is it a panacea for everything in life.
However, I believe that it can help transform the state of one’s mind – To face life’s suffering and problems with a heart of loving-kindness and gentleness.
Over time, as I became a yoga teacher and started leading mindfulness retreat expeditions to the Himalayas, I’ve developed and come up with my practice and cues for leading metta meditation.
These cues are of course consolidated from the various teachers mentioned above. During this pandemic lockdown, I decided to record a 30-min long guided metta meditation. I share it with anyone keen to explore and integrate this practice into their lives.
“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” This quote is often attributed to Laotzu.
Can we make metta “loving-kindness” the character and destiny of our life?
Wise Steps:
If you find it hard to send loving thoughts in your mind, find a safe space and utter them out in words.
Make it a habit to randomly wish someone to be well and happy each day, whether it’s mentally towards someone you love or to random strangers on the streets.
Meditate at least once a week to reset yourself energetically and spiritually.
