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How do we differentiate between bending backwards for everyone around us and being kind? Discover two resources to help us understand the difference between the two. It is time to not be a doormat Buddhist 😉
- Are you being kind or a people pleaser
- Hissing but not biting
Are you being kind or a people pleaser?
Hailey Magee, a certified coach that helps people pleasers, shares a short reel on 4 points of a kind person vs a people pleaser. People pleasing is rooted in 4 areas: Transactionality, obligation, compulsion, and loss-aversion. Kindness, Magee explains, is rooted in Desire, Goodwill, and choice.
“Transactionality: I’ll give you this so that you can give this to me back”. Loss Aversion: I am giving you this so that I don’t lose you”
- Use Magee’s 4-point checklist to see if your recent actions/habits centre around people-pleasing or kindness
- Take active mindfulness to spot when you might be people-pleasing and dig deeper into why you might be doing so
Check out the article here or below!
Hissing but not biting
Ajahn Brahm, a monk who resides in Australia, shares a story about a snake who was trying to be kind. By using this parable, Ajahn Brahm reminds his followers to be wise and kind. Being a Buddhist doesn’t meant that we become a doormat for everyone to step on.
“In life, you can still keep the five precepts and be non-violent. You must always remember to hiss every now and again.”
- How can we practice kindness and assertiveness? When is the last time you were firm with your boundaries?
- Contemplate: What are some ways I can introduce kindness and wisdom into my daily life
Watch it here