TLDR: This article takes you through my journey of getting into depression and a general description of the experience.
Note to readers: this article only reflects my personal journey through mental illness. Please seek professional medical advice if you are feeling unwell.
Living in blissful delusion
Just like many other young adults, I got into a long-term relationship. The relationship was rocky with its ups and downs. But eventually, following the typical Singaporean rite of passage, we decided to get a BTO housing apartment after four years together.
When the commitment of buying a house together came, it made me think about the differences in values between me and my ex.
Living in blissful delusion, I had a strong belief that if we stay together, we can work things out. There was a strong craving for romantic feelings and physical touch from another person.
The downfall
Right before the day when my ex and I were supposed to select the apartment to purchase, we got into a big fight about our differences in values. Eventually, the relationship was broken.
Not knowing what a failed relationship meant, I woke up not knowing what to do on weekends. In the past, weekends meant going out with someone.
Having a change in routine, the void and emptiness started developing. I didn’t know what to do during my free time.
Still not knowing about the emptiness that was ravaging me, there was a lack of awareness of my own thoughts and feelings. I went about my university life, taking my final year papers in anticipation of graduation and a new phase of life. Unknowingly, I became quieter than usual (I am quiet by nature) and I looked sad.
Then during a meeting with a mentor, he remarked to me, “Someone commented that you looked depressed. Are you okay?”
After that meeting, a new word entered my vocabulary, “Depression”.
Drowning in the flood
While living in blissful ignorance of my depression, I was going about my final university days, trying to pass exams and getting a job.
It turned out that depression was affecting my performance in daily life. I was replaying the thoughts of my broken relationship every single hour. Wanting to find answers to the questions in my mind, no answers could be found.
“Could I have given in more so the relationship would work out?”
“Why can’t the differences between us be reconciled after trying for years?”
The more I craved for answers, the more I tried to replay all the memories and past feelings to find answers. Unknowingly, I sank deeper in the rabbit hole.
Struggling with the raging memories, I could not focus on the daily tasks at hand. I performed poorly for my internship and my exams. I managed to graduate but without a return offer to my internship company due to poor performance.
Whilst I was jobless as a fresh graduate, I had all the time in the world to find a job. I had more time to drown myself in my sorrows as well. I replayed my memories from the past even more to try and find answers.
Eventually, it came to a point that I was crying uncontrollably in the middle of the night, alone in my room. I was drowning in my own thoughts and emotions of the past.
I hit rock bottom and thoughts of ending it all came. I was jobless, I was suffering from my thoughts and emotions and I felt trapped in pain.
Note: I will not elaborate on depression. Because thinking about it will only strengthen the intention. To anyone who is reading this, feeling depressed or not, having that awareness of depression or sadness will be the first step. The second step is to set the intention and overcome the sadness.
All mental phenomena have mind as their forerunner; they have mind as their chief; they are mind-made. If one speaks or acts with an evil mind, ‘dukkha‘ follows him just as the wheel follows the hoofprint of the ox that draws the cart. – Dhammapada 1
A mind full of negativity will only create more negative thoughts. Then suffering follows.
When I realised that I was drowning in negativity, the first thing was to acknowledge that I was in a pit and to stop digging further. Acknowledging the present situation was the first step to make me feel better and move toward recovery.
Conclusion
The intent of the article is to share my own experience of falling into depression and a general description of the experience.
The main point here is to be aware of strong negative thoughts and feelings that lingers in your mind. Being aware of the strong negative thoughts and feelings, acknowledge that you are feeling sad.
Then set the intention to see the negative state of mind as it is, not fighting the negative state of mind (not wanting the negativity) and not giving in (delighting in your pain) to the negative state of mind.
It’s not going to be easy. But overcoming the negative state of mind to have a peaceful state of mind will be worth it.
My next article will focus on how my unexpected journey into the Dhamma brought much needed relief from suffering.
Make your body and mind happy while you are trying to recover from illness (mental and physical). Do light exercises and eat healthy so your body and mind are happy and ready to change.
Acknowledge your negative thoughts and feelings. Show yourself care like how you would advise your best friend.
Celebrate each moment you feel the peace away from your troubling mind.
TLDR: Singapore is rapidly ageing and it is important to educate ourselves on death literacy, and aging, and develop spiritual friendships to sustain us through our golden years.
“As Buddhists, we should develop spiritual friendship as a refuge in old age,” Dr Ng Wai Chong explained, striking a chord deep within my heart.
I recently attended the 12th Global Conference on Buddhism organised by Buddhist Fellowship at Expo Singapore. Dr Ng’s talk on “The Challenging Happy Problem of Dying in Old Age” really got me thinking.
Brother Wai Chong defined death literacy as “the knowledge and skills that make it possible to gain access to, understand and act upon end-of-life and death care options”.
These include understanding what good end-of-life care looks like for individuals, what happens when someone dies, what legal processes need to be followed, and what support is needed and available at different stages, among other things.
Issues and vulnerabilities for the Buddhist community
In addition, he pointed out that there exists a group of ageing monastics in Singapore.
He raised the pertinent question, “Who will take care of our ageing monastics if they do not have a family / kappiah (volunteer helper) / devoted supporter / affiliated monastery?
This came to mind when Brother Wai Chong brought up the fact that such cases are becoming increasingly common due to isolation of the old.
A dream of mine is to live together in a queer commune with other queer Buddhists in order to offer support to one another.
These could include support whether physical (accompanying one to the doctor, cooking for one another when sick or ensure that falls are immediately taken care of), spiritual (meditating together every morning or chanting together before a meal every evening), emotional (commiserating over my lack of love life or offering comfort during breakups), or psychological (offering a hug or words of comfort during times of depression or when one’s friends and family is not supportive of our sexual orientation even though it is not explicitly prohibited in Buddhist scripture).
Thus, it was gratifying to hear when Brother Wai Chong talked about Older People’s Associations (OPA) that are groups created to serve the needs of older people.
He used the example of the “Happy Village” OPA conducted online using Zoom that he was a part of, to demonstrate how technology can be used to help connect people.
Conclusion
What I have written is but a fraction of the rich and educational talk Brother Wai Chong presented. I think the most impactful part of the talk (at least for me) was where he highlighted the importance of spiritual friendship as part of active ageing.
If anything, I am looking forward to future sharing on the topic of death by him.
For if anything is a certainty, it is the certainty of death. Instead of being afraid of it, why not embrace the inevitable, and take steps to prepare for it today?
Editor’s note: Special thanks to Jom, an independent journal website that has allowed us to republish this article. The original piece can be found here. This article has been further edited to follow HOL’s standards.
TLDR: Marissa explores Paya Lebar & Geylang’s hidden gems where peace is often hidden amongst these bustling areas of Singapore.
1. Paya Lebar
The story of how my mind changed begins in 2021. Almost 30, I was bummed to still be living with my parents but too prudent to rent a room of my own. I was anxious to make meaning out of my life, but unsure who I wanted to be except in relation to someone else. I had fixed ideas about love, duty and reasonable behaviour, which were frequently deflated.
It was the middle of the pandemic, when many were most vulnerable to the blues, and I was open to mellow pursuits that could help time go by more quickly. One day, recalling an earlier conversation I’d had with a friend, I asked her where I could go for free group meditation classes. Just like that, I fell into a routine.
There was nothing obviously special about the place, but I found that I liked being around women who speak softly and smile with crinkles lining their eyes.
Dharma Drum Meditation Main Hall
At the end of my second class, I was wiping down someone’s mat when a lady leaned in gently and smiled: “Thank you.” She took me by surprise; it felt like evening sunshine after a long day indoors.
It made me realise how fulfilling it can be to just slow down once in a while to make an offering to others of one’s warmth and serenity. To put them at ease. So I followed the sign.
As part of the routine at Dharma Drum, we would also dedicate our practice. My Mandarin was never any good, so I just mouthed the words they flashed on the screen without knowing what they meant. I later discovered that I had been vowing to help all sentient beings attain enlightenment (“众生无边誓愿度”).
How to keep this promise? I panicked. Then I relaxed. A key teaching in Buddhism is that all birth is rebirth. We have been and will be here for longer than we know. I have all the time in the world to keep my vows. But I was also curious to know more about this different way of moving through time.
2. Geylang
Chinese New Year, 2022. I was restless for an excursion. I’d recently heard of the Buddhist Library, situated in a Geylang shophouse. Being alone inside the walls of books made me feel spacious and at home.
Although Geylang tends to evoke vice and not virtue, more religious communities are clustered there than anywhere else in Singapore. This is partly by design. In 1992, some 50 hectares of the neighbourhood were rezoned so that clan associations, political parties and other civic and cultural groups could benefit from the lower rents.
Vegetarian joints and Buddhist general merchandise stores flourished alongside each other. Many know Geylang as a garden of earthly delights. Few know it’s also Singapore’s enlightenment hub.
As the days of the new year passed, I kept going back to the Buddhist Library for my dose of old world wisdom. Travellers’ tales of India and Tibet, essays by Chinese and Japanese Zen practitioners, biographies of Thai forest monks, and rare gems like Ian Stevenson’s meticulous case reports of children who can remember their past lives.
All three major Buddhist traditions—Theravāda, Mahāyāna and Vajrayāna—coexist on the shelves of the library and in the streets outside. (Some 31 percent of Singaporeans identify as Buddhist, a plurality; and over 18 percent as Christian, the next biggest group.) Each recognises the same truths about the harmful nature of the worldly life. Where they differ is in the practice of various paths to liberation.
The Theravāda path, the “way of the elders”, is the oldest of the three. It is focused on the teachings of the historical Buddha in India, and has spread southeast to thrive in Thailand, Sri Lanka and Myanmar.
Mahāyāna, the “great vehicle”, is the path followed by the majority of Buddhists in East Asia and Singapore. They recognise a larger pantheon of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas who can be called on for support. Tibetan Buddhism is a form of Vajrayāna, the “diamond vehicle”, which evolved from Mahāyāna and absorbed practices from ancient Indian tantric texts.
Ajahn Kalyano giving a talk at Nibbana Dhamma Rakkha in Geylang. This and next photograph courtesy of Goh Kuan Seng
Two streets east of the Buddhist Library is a building where visiting monks are often invited to give public talks. One evening, at the end of the Hungry Ghost Festival, a Buddhist abbot was no more than 10 minutes into his discourse on mindfulness when a roar rose up from three floors below.
“HUAT ah! HUAT ah! HUAT ah,” senior citizens yowled, reaching across their banquet tables and stabbing with their chopsticks.
“Everything changes,” the abbot said, pausing to observe this feature of reality. By the end of his talk, the party was in full swing. Karaoke rattled the doors of our elevator when it opened onto the first floor courtyard. A trembling old man was belting out in Hokkien: “Wa meng ti, wa meng ti…” (“I ask the heavens, I ask the heavens…”)
In the park behind, a bonfire was leaping two storeys high at least, as other folks burnt offerings to the departed inside a circle of red candles. In Buddhism, simplicity and wisdom is encouraged. Burning of “hell money”—a Chinese folk custom—is unnecessary because what is burnt here cannot materialise anywhere else. It only turns to ash.
Yet here we all were, in the riot of contrasts called Geylang—creatures of different minds crammed into one corner block by the invisible hand of the free market to act out our conditioning, side by side. Not every scene however dissolves easily in laughter. Worldly amusements are often brittle, like the pair of caged toucans in the beer garden of Happy Seafood Village where the house special is a flaming volcano chicken.
The world is a hot mess. But we already knew that. Buddhist practice is about relating to your environment skilfully, without getting caught up in notions of right and wrong. Without losing balance. Did you know that perfectly enlightened beings cannot feel anger? A thought occurred to me as I left the Buddhist Library one night—even if I go nowhere in my meditation, I must try to be the place where ill will ends.
The journey continues in Part II publishing this friday.
TLDR: A “Happy New Year” comes not from external conditions, but from appreciating the little blessings in life. The key is to adopt “gratitude as our attitude”.
During this festive season, we often wish our relatives and friends “Happy Chinese New Year”, or “恭喜发财“. In recent years, I started questioning – where does happiness (喜) in a new year come from?
For the young me, this was easily answered. Happiness came from playing with firecrackers, enjoying sumptuous dinners and sinful goodies, meeting my cousins to sing KTV/play cards, and watching TV shows till late.
As I grew up, my views changed. More than seeking pleasures derived from “consumption”, I saw the potential of seeking happiness through “appreciation”. In other words, gratitude.
Gratitude to Parents (父母恩)
In Chinese Mahayana Buddhism, there are 4 objects worthy of great gratitude (四重恩). The first object is none other than our parents.
Leading up to each Chinese New Year, my dad would busy himself around the house. Cleaning the fan, wiping the windows, changing cushion covers, hanging up decorations – the work seemed never-ending.
Typical Chinese New Year decorations at my house – spot the “福禄寿” bears?
I didn’t always appreciate these. The loud vacuum noises and the buckets laying around were a nuisance to me who was trying to study at home.
Mum was also busy during the Chinese New Year when my sister and I were young. She would pack our bags for our 3-day stay in Malaysia (our Grandmother’s house), tend to our daily needs away from home, and deal with any contingencies. I recall once when I fell ill with a stomachache – Mum’s Chinese New Year was spent with me visiting the doctor instead of relatives.
As I grew up, I had to take over some spring-cleaning tasks from my dad. With baby nieces and nephews around, I had to babysit them as well. These made me realise how much I have overlooked the contributions of my parents in giving me a “normal” Chinese New Year to enjoy.
I realised that the “normalcy” I enjoyed during Chinese New Year when I was young was built on their sacrifice.
Gratitude to Country (国土恩)
It was a challenge going into Malaysia each year with traffic jams at the immigration customs lasting up to 3 hours. There were even times when my family was delayed and had to have reunion “suppers” instead!
As a youth, I was often frustrated at the other cars. “Why do all of you have to leave at the same time?”, I would wonder. Also, couldn’t the customs officers work faster?
One year, I realised, “I was not stuck in traffic. I WAS the traffic”. I realised that the customs officers were part of the solution, while I was part of the problem.
Traffic jams at the customs during Chinese New Years can last up to 3 hours Source: The Straits Times
Frustration gave way to appreciation to the customs officers. Thanks to them, our immigration system is working smoothly and our national borders are kept safe.
Thus, the second object of gratitude is to our country (e.g. public service; national infrastructure; healthcare/immigration/security system). These blessings are not always visible, but they provide the foundation for us to lead our normal lives.
Gratitude to All Beings (众生恩)
Many beings bring convenience to our lives. We may not know most of their names and faces, but we have benefited from their contributions. They form the third object for gratitude.
Chinese New Year offers many opportunities for us to observe how people have helped us.
In recent years, I started noticing the waiters who serve our food at reunion dinners, the chefs who prepare the food, the entertainers who perform in celebratory “countdown” shows for us, the cleaners who clean up the mess made after New Year events, and many more.
I realised that things are easy and pleasant only because people help one another. We influence one another, living in a community and society, and our lives are deeply interwoven.
Recollecting the debt of gratitude we have for fellow sentient beings, I feel connected to others around me. This brings much comfort and warmth.
Gratitude to the Triple Gem （三宝恩）
The final object for recollection is to the Triple Gem (Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha) – our safe and secure refuge.
Reflecting on my life, I discovered that I was constantly seeking things to invest my faith/time/effort in return for some happiness. This can take the form of relationships, wealth, fame, job, or even rituals.
We are all seeking a “refuge” to seek comfort from. For example, a popular “tradition” in Singapore is to pray at a temple upon the turn of the Lunar New Year. Some even make efforts to be the first person to offer prayers (插头香) in the belief that it is an auspicious act.
Typical scene of temple-goers rushing offer incense (插头香) during Lunar New Year Source: The Straits Times
Lunar New Year can help us to consider what we choose to invest our faith in. For me, the New Year encourages me to reaffirm my faith in the Triple Gem.
This reminds me that true happiness is a function of my efforts, and not from external conditions. For that, I am grateful.
What makes a “Happy New Year”?
A “Happy New Year” need not just be a cursory greeting we repeat during the 15 days of New Year festivals during house visits. It can also be a sincere aim to strive towards for the entire year.
Things will never be totally smooth in life. If we depend on favourable external conditions to bring us happiness, we will never be able to find much stability.
However, with gratitude as our attitude, we can learn to observe the little blessings around us. Through patient and consistent effort, we can gradually learn to see challenges as opportunities for growth and to find the silver lining in dire situations.
This would be the true cause for happiness in our lives, and allow us to enjoy a “Happy New Year”.
Wise Steps
Keep a gratitude journal. This can be a physical notebook, a virtual word document, or even a private instagram page. Be disciplined in writing down something everyday.
When idle, play a game with yourself – note down 10 things around you to be grateful for. Challenge yourself to identify blessings you have taken for granted.
Train your mind to see problems as challenges, and as opportunities for growth. Be grateful for the tough times in life, and be worthy of your sufferings.
TLDR: Are we truly a rainbow of a thousand colours, lighting up the sky? With Singapore’s myriad of diverse identities, we can receive its cultural melting pot with kindness and an open heart. Reflecting on two vignettes, we refresh commonality and connect uncharted dots between faiths.
Take a spin around your neighbourhood or a stroll down Central District this weekend.
How many different places of worship can you find along the way? And when was the last time you stepped into another, other than your own?
It is likely that the number nor the lack of visit will surprise you. Have you ever wonder why do they not?
Greater than the Sum of its Parts
I pondered on how parts of the world fit snuggly into modern Singapore, partly implemented via intentional planning of her policy makers and partly developed through her history of immigrants.
The feat that so many chapalang people, cultures, identities and faiths can co-exist within the limits of this space calls for a cake. As we learn of various national conflicts arising from differences, the ‘peace’ we share in Singapore may just be good enough.
When I say ‘co-exist’, I talk about awareness and at best, acceptance of diversity, differences and conglomeration. Let’s face it, relating harmoniously with everyone or anyone we encounter is no rosy picture. Humans have likes and dislikes.
It is natural to agree and disagree; to identify and cluster, what more to differentiate and – god forbid – discriminate. Yet, how often do we understand each other?
If my belief is right, the hodgepodge of cultures, races and religions goes way back beyond when Sang Nila Utama first stood on this island. Thanks to the 2019 Bicentennial efforts, we now acknowledge Singapore’s history to stretch over 700 years and longer.
To co-exist with such intense diversity in a cramped space for that long, this morphing society has learnt to draw upon individuals’ virtues and their conscious efforts to overcome inherent human cognitive biases.
Psychology of Goodwill towards “Different” People
Think about that one time when you felt uncomfortable or emotional in an encounter with someone outside your usual community in Singapore. What immediate perceptions did you form about this particular person and his/her/their community?
What decisions did you make about future interactions with this person/community during and after this encounter?
It takes open hearts, basic kindness and willingness to communicate and understand that someone of a different race/faith/culture does not pose a threat to what or who we identify with. It takes courage and patience to say:
“Hey, I don’t know you well enough. Help me see what’s going on for you,” or;
“Let me put aside my tightly-held conceit to appreciate who you are and what stories you live”.
Sometimes, we latch onto our views so strongly that we forget how it is like to be open to other perspectives or to not have any views at all. When we hold onto our version of reality as more important or deny others’ realities, the aversion and hurt ensuing from our attachment are poisons that we choose not to see.
Only when we rightly acknowledge and accept the multitude of truths held by different communities as their ways of life, will we have a more generous heart to learn and adopt inspiration from each other. Then, perhaps, we can love our neighbours as ourselves.
Honest Encounters with Various Faiths
The rest of my writing contains two vignettes of my local encounters with various faiths, as a late millennial female, straight Hokkien-Teochew Chinese, Theravadin Buddhist, who lives in a HDB flat and works in the construction industry.
The slew of labels is not necessary but what do you see? Look at the portrait you can construct using those stereotypes.
How many different intersections of faith, race, culture and identity can you imagine I have (not) crossed? What lessons will you uncover?
A continuous ringing of a bell shrills through the entire HDB flat at around 8am and 5 pm daily.
When I first heard it, it was the last thing I wanted to hear amid my activities. I complained to my mother. She explained, “It’s part of the Hindu prayer lah girl,” “Not peaceful leh?” The disgruntling echoed after each ring in my mind.
One evening, the ringing pierced through my body when I had a pounding headache from the foggy consciousness caused by drowsy antidepressants.
The bell rang with such vigour that I could picture the faithful hand that shook it so earnestly. I wanted to be annoyed but there was no strength to resist the daggers of sounds.
If I can’t run away, why don’t I accept it? I embraced the ringing with my awareness. The heart shifted.
Each ring sent my mind right back to the present moment. Each ring lifted me one inch out of that terribly dull drowsiness. As the last ‘ling’ landed in the air like a finale, the headache dissipated with a ripple. Since then, the ringing became a familiar soundscape at home, no longer a frustrating auditory contact.
On National Day, the bell rang again, as if to alert me that I have yet to fulfil my learning of this Hindu ritual. Seizing the opportunity to understand better, Google affirmed that I was not the only one hearing “bells ringing at home”.
It turns out that ringing the bell (or Ghanti) is part of the Hindu puja offering, where the worshipper announces his/her arrival to the Hindu deity worshipped.
Dear Lord, I am here. Please bear witness to my presence.
One offers his/her presence to greet and honour transcendence. This meaning of presence flows very much like the kangse meditation bell: a reminder to recollect the moment and to stay with one’s awareness that is larger than self.
Well, how could I forget that bells are also used in Taoist, Buddhist and Christian traditions?That they come in all shapes, sizes, tones, pitches and manners of ringing?
“Ting – ling ling ling —-” Here and now. Here and now.
2. Cleaning Ourselves
During the Ramadan of 2019, I was invited to participate in breaking fast with migrant workers at Masjid Yusof Ishak Mosque. As part of the interfaith circle’s initiative to promote appreciation of Muslim practices, youths from different faiths observed the evening Muslim prayer and joined in the mass breaking fast.
A scent of communal dedication to Islam hung in the air throughout the entire evening. What stuck with me was this particular quote outside the common toilets:
“Cleanliness is half of the Faith.”
In my mind, I drew an immediate parallel to Upaḍḍha Sutta, where Venerable Ānanda asked the Buddha if having admirable friendship is half of the holy life. If admirable friendship is the whole of holy life and cleanliness is half of the Faith (Imaan), then how much weight does the latter hold in a Muslim’s life?
Following the teachings of the Quran, Muslims cleanse their faces, heads, hands (forearm up to the elbow) and feet (up to ankle) to prepare for their prayers.
This ritual washing purifies the body of the filth before Muslims convene with God as
“Truly, God loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves.”
Quran 2:222
Body purification and spiritual purification are both crucial in the Islamic Faith. Being pure brings one closer to God.
The principle of keeping up cleanliness is also prominent in Theravada Buddhism: monks wash their feet after walking their alms round barefooted; tidy and clean living quarters reflect the practitioners’ clear states of mind.
Often, the metaphor of cleaning a dirty and cluttered room is used in Thai Forest teachings for the practice of meditation and mental cultivation: what used to be a pure mind was tainted by unwholesome qualities or defilements (kilesa) since the beginningless time.
The way to liberate the heart is to clean out the defilements through the patient and consistent practice of the Noble Eightfold Path.
Essentially, we practitioners are cleaners scrubbing out stubborn stains with our tools and cleaning solutions. More importantly, the room does not belong to us. After cleaning it up, we can appreciate it as a pleasant abiding, close the door and leave.
But first, we have to recognise that the room is indeed dirty from our self-centred activities and that we want to clean it. Then, we go about learning how to clean and then actually doing so.
Some folks are okay living in a dirty room because they are unaware of what a clean room feels like. Think about an elderly who hoards compulsively and fills up his flat with precious things that ultimately breed dust.
The ways of the world can be distressing because so much clutter and filth get into our mind-rooms, through our own ignorant volition and through unfiltered acceptance of external influences.
We definitely deserve better.
I find the following verse from the Bible resonates with the Buddhist practice so saliently:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Proverbs 4:23
If the heart is filled with impurities, then what comes out of the heart is hazardous to others. Likewise, if the heart is imbued with unconditional love and kindness, goodness permeates in our interactions.
Regardless of who we meet in our “living-room” (be they religious figures like Lord Vishnu, God, Jesus Christ, Guan Yin, the Buddha or our family, friends, fellow Singaporeans, foreign talents, migrant workers etc.), I hope that we maintain as hospitable, self-respecting hosts to welcome and honour the guests’ presence in a clean and fresh space.
Perhaps, that hospitality may just be why Singapore tries to be as clean as it can.
Wise Steps:
In a world of turmoil and confusion, recollect on the goodness of the place you live in. Gratitude can light up your heart.
Share with your friends and co-workers from other faiths your similarities and differences. There are many lessons out there for us to learn amongst other faiths when we are open.
Reflect on your ‘living-room’. Where have you done well in keeping clean? Where needs cleaning?
