TLDR: From career to cancer, Kyle reflects on the treasures he gained from sharing his life stories through writing
How I Started Writing
I never considered myself a writer, let alone a writer who writes about Buddhist Dharma. I suppose most of us have unique talents when it comes to analysing and understanding the Dharma.
Growing up, I struggled with academics, but excelled in asking the question “why.” I possessed a strong sense of skepticism and curiosity that drove me.
When I wrote my first book, 108 Places to See Before Nirvana, I was trying to find a way to sustain my life while staying close to Buddhism.
Shortly after publishing, I was diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, my goal of sustaining my livelihood became a fight for survival.
I spent a year living in a bubble, avoiding crowded places to protect my compromised immune system.
Reflecting on My Cancer Journey
During my cancer treatment, I spent a lot of time in my room writing about how I applied Dharma knowledge to overcome my illness.
The blog began with a dialogue with the cancer tumour, starting with the opening line in every blog entry, “Dear Tumor” allowed me to view my condition from a different perspective. I chronicled my entire journey, all the way up to my last day of chemo and radiotherapy.
Looking back, I’m not entirely sure why I began my blog.
At first, I intended to keep my loved ones informed about my condition so they wouldn’t fret (especially since I was too drained to speak to anyone in my vulnerable state). But writing turned out to be therapeutic.
I reflected on my experiences and how they were intertwined with Dharma. Writing helped me to release my emotions and validate my experiences.
Now, 10 years into remission, I view the blog as a personal keepsake and inheritance that I gained from my cancer treatments.
An example of one of my blog posts
How Sharing My Story Inspired Others
Though I was unsure if my writing would resonate with readers, I felt compelled to share.
After publishing my blog, I received messages from many who applauded my state of mind and found inspiration in my experiences.
Even those who didn’t have cancer could relate to my Dhamma reflections, showcasing the beauty of it., The Dhamma can offer guidance and support in any situation.
It would be wonderful if young students could learn from the Dharma’s wisdom, not necessarily as a religious doctrine, but as a syllabus for navigating life’s challenges.
Curveballs
Life has a way of throwing curveballs (which we all are aware of from the First Noble Truth), but I’ve learned to make the best of them.
I even created a new recipe for lemon tea out of the lemons life gave me. This analogy came to me while writing my second book, Life I’ve Learned as Monk Key, which describes my journey to cancer recovery after that difficult year.
Monk Key 😏 Get it?
Tragedy didn’t stop there. Shortly within a year after my treatments, I lost several loved ones, including a close friend and my father. This was followed by my chum’s father who suffered from the same cancer as me.
I rented a small hut in Koh Phangan to heal, and somehow I found myself opening up my laptop and starting to write again.
The small hut
Although my book, Monk Key, primarily details my battle with cancer, I also dedicated a chapter to my father and the other loved ones whom I lost in that challenging year.
Writing has now become my sanctuary, and at first, I wrote Monk Key to express my gratitude to those who supported me during my illness.
Little did I know, it also helped me with confronting my grief.
Sharing stories: Not for personal gain
As a Buddhist writer, I believe fame and fortune are not the end goals of publishing.
While it would be nice to gain more readership, my ultimate aim is to share my intimate life story in a way that allows readers to see things from a different perspective.
It’s not a flawless process, but I hope that it will lead to meaningful reflection.
I believe that writing can be a powerful tool for personal growth.
Through the act of putting our thoughts and experiences into words, we gain life’s clarity and insight.
And when we share our writing with others, we have the potential to inspire and connect with people profoundly.
With that said, I think there are a few key benefits to prioritising the sharing of our stories over personal gain:
Authenticity: When our primary goal is to share our story and connect with others, we’re more likely to write authentically. We’re not as concerned with crafting a certain image or projecting a certain persona – we’re simply sharing our truth.
Connection: Writing can be a powerful tool for building connections. When we share our stories, we invite others to see us for who we truly are. And when we’re vulnerable in our writing, we create opportunities for others to connect with us on a deeper level.
Perspective: Finally, I think that sharing our stories can help us gain perspective on our lives. When we see our experiences reflected back to us through the eyes of others, we can gain new insights and understanding about ourselves and our place in the world.
Overall, I believe that prioritising the sharing of our stories is a noble and worthwhile pursuit. While fame and fortune may be tempting, the true value of writing lies in its ability to inspire, connect, and transform both the writer and the reader.
My Wishes for Budding Dhamma Writers
To all aspiring writers, especially those who write in the context of Buddhist Dhamma, I hope for you to find pleasure in any accolades and wealth the world may bestow upon you.
May you receive heaps of positive reviews, easily brush aside poor ones, and have Kalyanamitras to weather any storms. You can write for Handful of Leaves and submit your story here.
But most of all, I wish you the honest, quiet, and enduring satisfaction of completing a written work from start to finish.
The pure, child-like joy of admiring something you have created – a unique manifestation and expression of your experiences – and, lastly, the generous joy of giving your stories away.
Wise Steps:
Start Writing: Try writing or another form of creating as a way to digest your experiences and share your story
Find Clarity on Intention: The precious value that comes from prioritizing the sharing of our stories over personal gain
Allow Yourself to be Surprised: Keep an open mind about what your writing could bring to you and the people reading it
May you rejoice in the merits of this Dhamma contribution and be well and happy wherever you go.
TLDR: Joey shares her emotional journey following the sudden loss of a lifelong friend to cancer, leading her to embrace the power of gratitude and find deeper meaning in life.
The Shocking Diagnosis
“Bad news, it’s a mass. Need to do biopsy now to check.”
It was a Whatsapp message from you. My mind went blank. I resisted the urge to Google “mass in lungs diagnosis.” I did not want my imagination to run wild.
After enduring a prolonged cough and episodes of breathlessness that persisted despite visits to several GPs, you went for a specialist check-up at a hospital and were admitted immediately.
A friendship that withstood time
I have known you since Secondary 1. Although we were not in the same class, we were batchmates in Girl Guides and our friendship blossomed. Over the next 25 years, we journeyed together through important milestones of our teenage years. Coming from dysfunctional families, we became each other’s confidantes and support when stressful incidents at home were too overwhelming.
I could not recall the exact number of through-the-night phone calls, late-night hangouts, or sleepovers we had. We sang, chatted, and watched TV, and only went home when the storms had fully subsided.
“I’m really very scared. My girl is still so young.”
This was your subsequent message before I could draft a comforting reply to your previous one.
Journeying through life’s milestones together
As we stepped into adulthood and got swept up in our careers, we did not meet as often. But we witnessed each other through major life events, celebrating our joyful moments and exchanging encouragements during challenging times — landing dream jobs, bad bosses, heartbreaks, death in the family, getting married, securing our BTO, and becoming mothers.
Our friendship had only strengthened with time, expanding to include our families. There is something magical about watching our kids play together. I fondly reminisced about the fun times we had during our youthful days.
I once told you that I hoped we would still meet up regularly for tea in our golden years to complain about our husbands, children, and perhaps grandchildren.
You said you imagined it would be hard to hold your tears in on your daughter’s wedding day.
Confronting the Unthinkable
“Likely is stage 4. I need to do chemo”
My heart sank. Thousands of thoughts ran through my mind. “But we are only 37. What about her girl? She is only 6. What is the prognosis? This is too sudden. This can’t be happening. Am I dreaming?”
“Thanks for watching over my child and family. Love you girls,” was your last message to me.
Over the next week, I watched you deteriorate rapidly, confined to the ICU, unable to talk or eat, and remaining sedated as cancer ravaged your lungs, stomach, and brain.
I always believed that you would overcome this, that you could return home and recover. I knew that you were strong-willed and you did your best. But health is beyond our control.
You left us one month after your stage-4 lung cancer diagnosis. It was too sudden, too unexpected, and too tough for me to accept.
Everything feels surreal. Seeing you lifeless on a hospital bed, surrounded by those closest to you. Your funeral. Your cremation. It’s like a bad dream unfolding, and I’m powerless to stop, wake up, and find relief in the realisation that it was only a dream.
Life, Death, and Illusions
Death is the one life event that will happen to us with 100% certainty. However, it remains an abstract concept for many. Why is that so?
Our brains are great illusionists, often failing to let us perceive the true nature of reality.
The human brain is programmed to draw from our lived experiences to create a neural map of our lives, incorporating relationships with people, places, things, routines, habits, and expectations.
It is a mechanism to help the brain “save computing power”, enabling us to make sense of and predict what is happening moment by moment. The possibility of your death was nowhere in my neural map; my brain needed time to assimilate this fact and rewrite its algorithm to navigate this world without your presence.
I hope that after my brain has integrated the code “death of a loved one”, I will gain a little more wisdom to be closer to ultimate reality.
However, the way our brain is wired prevents us from seeing things as they truly are.
It tends to gather information through our five senses, making false assumptions and setting unreal expectations about how events should unfold or how our relationships with others should be. It likes to take shortcuts to conserve energy, clinging to an old mindset or defaulting to comfortable habits and routines.
Our brains want to exist in a predictable, permanent, and lasting world.
And so, we grasp, we chase, and we shun.
Seeking Meaning in the Midst of Loss
We pursue the next high-paying job, promotion, or the latest flashy phone, car, or house. We take for granted that our family and friends will always be there. We avoid discussing illness and death because we cannot imagine a future where either we or our loved ones will be gone.
Your death has prompted me to reflect on what makes life meaningful and where my priorities should lie.
If we want to have a better life with fewer regrets and more joy, we need to rely on the Dharma to overwrite the faulty algorithms in our brains.
The first week after I lost you was excruciatingly painful.
My mind struggled to accept that you would be forever absent from my future. I believed we would have many more chances to continue our yearly tradition of surprising each other with birthday gifts and treats.
Now that you are gone, I wonder: do you know how much I love and cherish our friendship? I was engulfed by overwhelming loss and sorrow. Soon, this morphed into a feeling of unfairness. The cancer had stolen my best friend, robbing all hopes, possibilities, and dreams of watching the kids grow up as we grow old together.
“Grief is love with no place to go” – is a popular quote to describe grief.
As time passed, grief silently reshaped itself within the contours of my daily life. I found this quote untrue. While life comes to an end, love lives on. The love and connection we share live on within us. It endures even after death.
With your passing, our friendship has transcended beyond the physical dimension of space and time, transforming into a spiritual relationship. You remain my best friend in this lifetime. I express my love through internal dialogues with you, often wondering about your journey in the next life and dedicating prayers, well-wishes, and merits to you.
In our physical world, where most relationships are transactional, our understanding of love can be restricted. Our expressions of love are sometimes limited to tangibles such as gifts, time, and physical touch.
The Buddha taught us about love and compassion, which is the wish for sentient beings to be free from suffering and attain happiness. A concept that is easy to grasp but difficult to embrace. If we ponder closely, love and compassion are a spiritual state of mind more than they are physical actions.
“The space is boundless,
So does your compassion.
You wish to be all living beings’ bridge [to the other shore],
It was 4 am and I lost sleep. It was the first night after your passing. You were such a devoted mother, dutiful wife, responsible worker, and one of the kindest friends I ever had.
Why did this have to happen? I have always believed that every significant person and event in our lives is there to teach us important lessons.
Yet losing you so suddenly to cancer seems senseless. We did not even get to say a proper goodbye. I kept questioning myself repeatedly: what was the lesson I needed to learn? I just could not fathom it.
We had been a part of each other’s life for 25 years and remained so close. It felt like a beautiful story which needed to end abruptly and the author struggled to write a conclusion to make it a meaningful read.
As I lay in bed, a deep sorrow gripped my heart tightly. The intense pain in my chest grew every minute, making it hard to breathe. It was too unbearable.
At the next moment, I felt love surrounding me and then enveloping me. It was a peaceful and kind energy that wrapped around me, consoling me with its warm presence, telling me that it knows my pain and suffering. That this too shall pass.
Gradually, the tightness in my chest subsided. I felt lighter. Tears flowed freely, and gratitude surged through every cell in my body. I was certain it was you. I finally knew what the lesson was.
It was friendship.
Appreciating Life’s Beauty & Moments
Through you, I learned what makes a good friend and how to be one. Our precious and beautiful friendship had enriched my life and for that, I am immensely grateful to you.
Over the next few weeks, this gratitude took root and grew. Alongside grief, I experienced a renewed sense of appreciation for events, objects, and people in life.
Saudadeis a Portuguese word that describes a longing for something that has been loved and lost, yet it also captures a sense of joy for having been loved and lost. This “joyful sadness” described my feelings perfectly.
Allow saudade to sit and experiencing it fully within me has given me insights into life.
Life’s meaning is not something to be found; it is created moment by moment in our everyday lives, and gratitude fuels it best.
Gratitude as a Way of Life
Gratitude gifted me with fresh eyes to perceive the beauty and qualities in objects, people, or moments. It helps me to slow down, be present, and be thankful for the good and bad that enter my life.
Gratitude makes the most routine, mundane, or dreadful tasks meaningful. While waiting patiently for my morning coffee, I silently expressed thanks for all the elements that made it possible for me to enjoy my drink. Not taking things for granted makes my life more vivid, rich, and meaningful. My coffee tastes much better now.
Perhaps if we consider gratitude as a way of life more than just a feeling or mental state, our lives will have more bliss, peace, and meaning.
In gratitude, I see you. In gratitude, I see our interconnectedness. In gratitude, I see the Dharma.
Wise Steps:
The love and connection with our departed loved ones transcend physical existence and transform into a spiritual relationship. We can dedicate merits and well-wishes to benefit them in their next life which helps us find solace in grief.
Our brains are masters in creating illusions which obstruct our perception of reality’s transient and ever-evolving nature. By embracing self-awareness and applying the teachings of the Dharma, we can reduce regret and cultivate greater happiness.
Gratitude is a powerful tool for healing. It can help us find a renewed sense of purpose and appreciation for life even during the toughest times.
TLDR: Jia Yee shares on why she started her start-up and how it ended. She explores 3 Buddhist values Gratitude, Fighting Spirit, and Faith
As a writer, I often come across stories of entrepreneurs who have weathered the highs and lows of building a business. But my recent conversation with Jia Yee, a startup founder, inspired me.
Jia Yee shared her unique journey of building her startup from scratch, pouring her heart and soul into it, and eventually walking away as the business matured. What struck me the most was how she found solace and strength in Buddhism, which became a key pillar of support in overcoming the loss of walking away.
Interestingly, the birth of her startup was rooted in death.
From cancer to a start-up
“My startup was my second job in my life. I left my first job after my mom passed away from cancer and I needed that physical and mental break to just really not do anything” Jia Yee shared.
Jia Yee took a break from her first job and started a project “Strength Behind Cancer” which aimed to interview cancer survivors on their stories. She was curious to understand what her mum was going through and sought out stories to honour her mother’s memory. She continued tirelessly tracking interviewees who would share their stories.
During her search for stories, Jia Yee eventually encountered a woman who was in remission from two different forms of cancer. After their interview, the lady could tell that Jia Yee had become disheartened from her mission.
‘Jia Yee, if this is not giving you joy, you don’t have to feel obliged in doing it’ the lady said. After that, Jia Yee realised that each time she conversed with a patient, it evoked memories of her mother’s passing. The pain it brought to Jia Yee was not obvious to her. However, it was obvious to her interviewees.
That comment sparked a deep thought in Jia Yee, “Oh, my mom wouldn’t want me to be milling around. My parents have always been very open about life, they would just want me to be happy and not like, you know, super successful.”
She pondered if she was content with her life, with the conclusion being a negative one.
Inquiring what would bring her joy, she had an immediate response. This then resulted in the inception of her own business.
This is not a sexy story, but we were cleaners as well
Jia Yee found that her greatest joy was in doing projects in the arts scene and quickly found a partner to start a company. Their offering?
A full-service end-to-end creative agency. They would cover conceptualisation to execution across different mediums. Their goal was to put Singaporean design on the international map and shine a light on Singapore’s creatives.
They pitched hard to potential clients but faced a prolonged period of a dry pipeline. This brought anxiety to the founders if they had the right service offering. Then a breakthrough came.
They were cleaning the office when they found out that they had won the contract.
(What happened right before we received the email)
“This is not a sexy story, but we were cleaners as well.” Jia Yee chuckled. As a startup with no projects at the start, they had to do EVERYTHING themselves and cleaning was no exception.
Singapore Tourism Board (STB) awarded them a contract to profile 12 Singapore creatives in Tokyo! Jia Yee was overjoyed.
“For an organisation that’s so much bigger than us, that award gave us validation that we were doing something right!” Jia Yee beamed as she recalled.
This contract kickstarted subsequent projects by exposing their business to more people in the network. It also made future clients trust them more as they, by appearance were two twenty-somethings pitching projects in board rooms.
Their business eventually grew big enough to support creatives (who often do not have stable incomes) in the hardest of times like Covid. That was something recalled with great joy, being able to help an industry that was hit hardest during the lockdowns.
The end begins
After six years of operations, Jia Yee realised she and her business partner had different opinions concerning how the firm should be conducted and what the outlook of the company should be.
As the divergent tension developed further, Jia Yee felt that the best thing to do, when no common ground could be found, was to step down.
“There’s always a time, right time and right place. Maybe that time has concluded and perhaps it’s time for me to move on.” Jia Yee shared.
“If I hung on, cling on, what would it lead to?” She queried.
As she prepared to wind down her share of the business and planned for the exit, she felt a wave of grief. It was as if the baby she had given birth to was now to be given away.
How did she go from grief to peace? I asked. With calm eyes, she shared more.
Coping with the end
Jia Yee said that it centred around three Buddhist concepts: Gratitude, Right Effort, Faith
Gratitude
“Giving thanks. Twice.” Jia Yee smiled. Saying goodbye often entails leaving behind something or experiencing a loss. Hence, gratitude is necessary to remind us of what we have gained and learnt in our journey.
Jia Yee shared that recollecting the good times that she had while running the firm lifted up her mood. Giving thanks for the opportunity to help the arts scene during covid through grants and engaging subcontractors who were in need stood out to her.
She also embodied the essence of metta, by wishing her firm (like we would with people) to be well and happy.
By lifting up her mood and switching her narrative from loss to gain, she smoothened the edges of pain.
Beijing Skyline. Jia Yee’s gratitude for the place’s work brought her into
“6 years wasted could put him (Siddartha) in a tailspin…. But he knew that there must be a way out of this… Raising his fighting spirit to carry on.”
Jia Yee could resonate with the struggles others faced when facing a setback. Even the Buddha had his setbacks when seeking enlightenment.
“When we stab ourselves with our bad moods, we are the ones harming ourselves.“- Thanissaro Bhikkhu.
Jia Yee mentioned that the talk encouraged her to take the leap and work on making her exit from the firm possible. In the face of difficulty, she had to bite her tongue and work through the painful admin of exit.
Tokyo event, with Jia Yee pictured, and hosting guests from the Singapore embassy in Tokyo
Faith
“Faith was carrying me throughout the entire process.” The Buddhist practice of mindfulness, peace, and wisdom stuck with Jia Yee through the process. She started to attend DAYWA, a Dhamma practice group for working professionals, on a weekly basis for guided meditation.
A facilitator asked her ‘What suffering brought her to DAYWA’ which struck Jia Yee as it was in the midst of suffering that she turned to the Dhamma.
That realisation that suffering is to be faced and understood, made her commit to showing up for the weekly sessions.
“Before attending DAYWA, I didn’t really understand the concept of peace. But after consistently meditating with the group, I think I do now” She smiled.
These 3 pillars: Gratitude, Fighting Spirit, and Faith were vital in her farewell process.
Advice to other founders
Jia Yee really felt at peace when I was taking this shot; this was a while after her exit
“Any advice for founders out there?” I quizzed.
She smiled and shared the following points
Always learn from others’ experiences: Not doing so is a blessing missed
Differentiate between good and bad stress. Good stress should not affect your self-confidence and esteem.
Know the balance in your life: Life is not about work. Asking yourself ‘Am I balanced?’ is a key question to keep in mind
Find your spiritual nourishment: Find something that gives your mental energy; this can come from reading or just by sitting quietly
Find like-minded people with the same values: Find those that share your joy and experiences
Conclusion
Running a startup is not as glamorous as most magazines/newsletters might show. It takes hard work and also the wisdom to know when to say goodbye.
By relying on our fighting spirit, gratitude, and faith, founders can garner the strength to let go of what they put their life into.
That’s probably how a person can say goodbye to something very dear to them.
Wholesome Wednesdays (WW): Bringing you curated positive content on Wednesdays to uplift your hump day.
What’s one way we can view Ghost Month? Beyond joss papers and prayers, we can understand how we can die well. Today we cover lessons from a Dhamma practitioner who faced death with ease and also what we can do when life seems to fall apart.
1. 10 Dhamma lessons that helped me in the last months of my life 2. Can life fall into place when it feels like falling apart?
10 Dhamma lessons that helped me in the last months of my life
cr: Unsplash
Summary
Ann Le, a mindfulness trainer and member of Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village community, shares 10 lessons that helped her in the last days of her life. She was hospitalised when sharing these short snippets of wisdom. She would then pass on after months of hospitalisation. We liked it because we could feel her wisdom and bravery in the face of death.
“Practice the habits of happiness in daily life when things are still okay”
Wise Steps
When was the last time you practised happiness in daily life?
If tomorrow was our last day, will we be content with doing all that we wanted to? Life is uncertain.
Can life fall into place when it feels like falling apart?
Cr: Unsplash
Summary
When life falls apart, it can be overwhelming and difficult to know how to cope. While there is no one-size-fits-all solution, there are ways to start putting your life back together. Einzelgänger, a philosophy youtube channel, shares a Buddhist story and how we can apply it to our lives.
” So, the best thing he could do is to find joy in his darkest hour, something that, as opposed to his predicament, lies within his field of control.”
Wise Steps
Reflect on the last time change led to something positive and negative in your life. Have hope that situations do change. Hang in there
Remind yourself ‘this too shall pass’ in both good and bad times
Steffi Chuah Siew Lin wears many hats: she’s a daughter, a marketeer, a triathlete, a swim teacher, and most of all, a breast cancer survivor. She enjoys creating content and is a big-time enthusiast of personal and human development. She hopes to be a teacher, and a mother one day. She currently lives with her mom, sister, and a dog.
Transcript
[00:00:00] Kai Xin:
Hey there, this is Kai Xin and you’re listening to the Handful of Leaves podcast, where we bring you practical Buddhist wisdom for a happier life.
Today, I’m joined by my co-host Cheryl and our guest Siew Lin to talk about the journey of battling breast cancer. Our guest Siew Lin is battling breast cancer right now, specifically stage four, which is considered terminal. And she’s very young, only age 31.
And just to give you a little background of what happened before the call so that you can appreciate the conversation much better. So, Siew Lin had very kindly agreed to be on our show. And a couple of weeks before the recording, she was going through some treatment and told us that she wasn’t emotionally at her best.
And she actually asked if we would still want to record because the episode might not be the most positive and she wasn’t sure if there’ll be any inspiring takeaways.
But Cheryl and I decided to go ahead with it, provided that Siew Lin was comfortable and she was physically okay because we believe that that’s really something we can learn from her regardless of her situation. And it turned out to be true. We have really learned so much and through editing this recording, if you just listen to the conversation over and over again, you would pick out something new to feel inspired about.
And we also didn’t want to encourage toxic positivity where, you know, you just kind of show the bright side only, and the resilience, the determination all is good. We want to show the full story, that it is a tough journey.
And every bit of the journey, the ups and downs would make a person for who he or she is and Siew Lin, the very fact that she showed up, despite the challenges that she has gone through and opened up her heart, to be vulnerable in sharing her journey, it just made me admire her so much more.
So, Siew Lin was very kind, she said yes to continuing with the episode. And to be honest, when we were having the chat, there were really a lot of emotions to process. And it was through listening to the recording again that we had more takeaways. So do stay till the very end as Cheryl and I will be reflecting on our key learnings from the conversation.
This conversation is, to me, deeply profound.
And it’s really a privilege to have Siew Lin on the show with us. So we’re going to start off with her introducing herself. Sit back and enjoy the episode.
[00:02:49] Siew Lin:
Hi, my name is Siew lin, some call me Steffi. I’m currently working in an e-commerce company and on my off days, I’m a Freelance swim teacher and I’m just reaching my second year as a breast cancer survivor.
[00:03:06] Cheryl:
Nice. Short and sweet. You share it like very briefly, but there’s so much more between these three words. Breast, cancer, survivor. Mm-hmm. Do you wanna share a little bit more about when you were diagnosed with breast cancer? And definitely, you know, give us some details about your journey.
[00:03:23] Siew Lin:
It’ll be a very long, long story about how it all started. So it went, way back in 2020, I’m not even sure if it’s considered as diagnosed as breast cancer because when I found out, in the beginning, it was when I noticed there was nipple discharge during my training in the pool.
because I was training for a swimming event, I thought it was just a normal, infection. It didn’t get better after the event. So I went for an operation, a day operation to actually seal off the nipple so that the blood won’t keep bleeding. But after that doctor came out with a report where they took a sample from the nipple during the operation to seal the nipple, so, they call it Atypical Ductal Hyperplasia. So in short term, they call it ADH. So ADH is actually a pre-cancerous condition that actually affects the cell growth in the breast to grow abnormally. So it’s not cancer yet, but it has a higher chance of getting breast cancer. So at that point in time I was like, oh, okay.
I’m not sure what’s this, but I didn’t really put so much thought into it, but the doctor told me to follow up closely after that. So when I go through my follow-ups in a few more months after that incident I had my mammogram and ultrasound for the very first time.
And, I can honestly tell you for any young woman who did a mammogram for the first time, is really, really scary. A lot of women in their forties who be advised to do mammograms. But for ladies at very young age, like 27 or even younger than that, to do a mammogram is pretty scary. So maybe I just give you a brief description. Is this mammogram or about?
So basically you stand in front of a machine and this machine will compress your breasts. Like waist, from top to bottom.
[00:05:41] Cheryl:
So make a pancake, basically.
[00:05:43] Siew Lin:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically, it’s like, yeah, basically like, like what you say. So pancake, it’s not comfortable. Pancake. Every pancake can enjoy eating, right? But this one is, it’s really, you need to really stand still so that they can make it the right, the right mammogram for you.
Basically, you are strip stripped down to your bottoms and then, It’s freezing cool. Mm-hmm. When you do your mammogram, especially when the aircon is blowing towards you. But you have no choice to hold still as long as you can so that they can capture it.
So when the report came out, after I did those ultrasound and mammogram turns out that the doctor found out that there were a lot of calcifications. So calcifications are calcium deposits in the breast. So it’s like a lot of white dots in the breast.
So doctors who suspected these calcifications higher risk of getting breast cancer. So because of that, the doctor advised that it’s better to just remove the whole breasts, which are on my left side.
Cheryl:
white calcifications are the cancer cells, or what are they?
[00:06:57] Siew Lin:
It’s not cancer cells, it’s just calcium deposits. Yeah. It’s normal to have calcium deposits in normal breasts. But if I look back at the symptoms that I have, The centers of having breast cancer is nipple discharge. Your nipple would invert inwards. Those were the few symptoms that I had. So it kind of correlates where if I have these symptoms, really, and from the mammogram, I have these calcifications. Hmm.
Cheryl:
Makes sense. Like clicks.
[00:07:27] Siew Lin:
Yeah, I have a higher chance of having breast cancer, but breast cancer wasn’t in my mind. So when I asked the doctor, so in this stage one, stage two, He say it’s still stage zero. Oh yeah. So it was a very early pre-cancer stage. But I went through the operation I removed my whole left breast and till now after I have my follow-ups and just recently my last follow-up in April, in late March somehow, the area where I operated my breasts, where they did the biopsy of my breasts before I was diagnosed with the stage zero cancer, the lump grew at that area. So somehow, in a way, I’m not sure how it came back. Probably because when the doctor did the operation, there was still some cancer tissue left behind.
So the lump grew back because of the tissue. Even though I did my breast removal, I didn’t do any treatments after that, meaning there are no medications. I don’t need to do any other chemotherapy or radiation. So basically I just removed my breast and that was it.
But somehow after a few years, a few months later, the cancer grew back. So definitely there was something wrong with it. It’s probably the treatment wasn’t right for me. So I went for my PET scan. I actually visited other doctors in other hospitals as well to seek second third opinion. And, one of the doctors told me to do a PET scan. So PET scan is basically, you just lie down, they’ll inject a radioactive dye into your body and then you’ll be lying down on the table where you scan your whole body. and when I went through that procedure and the report came out, it seems that the cancer from my breast has spread to other parts of my body.
So in short term, stage zero has actually became stage four. So currently I’m diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, and basically the parts where the cancer had spread was my spine, my pelvic, and my collarbone, and a bit on my ribs. So, so yeah, that’s how I was diagnosed from stage zero to stage four, and here I am today.
[00:10:06] Kai Xin:
It seems like a very short period of time to take in so much. How do you process all of this?
[00:10:15] Siew Lin:
At that point of time, when I was told that I was diagnosed with stage four, that was the second doctor actually. So I was like nah, you’re kidding. And I didn’t believe him because somehow I didn’t have a good rapport, rapport with that doctor.
So I didn’t really take him very seriously. But when, when I took my report to seek another third opinion from another hospital, it seems that shit. That the news really hit hard on me and not just me only, but also my family members as well. So it’s a really big lump in your throat, which you can’t really swallow.
[00:11:02] Kai Xin:
I can imagine how tough this is. It seems like even now when you’re saying you’re still kind of internalizing, is that correct?
[00:11:13] Siew Lin:
Yes, I do, but somehow I already grew to accept it already. I guess somehow I’m slightly at peace, but not there yet, but, well, it’s just a very hard news to actually tell a lot of people.
Especially my friends and family who thought that, Hey, I thought you were just stage zero. How come you’re stage four now? And it’s just really hard to tell them because they would be very worried. And it’s just hard to tell them.
[00:11:50] Kai Xin:
When you tell your close ones about this news, is there an ideal response that you hope they would give?
[00:11:59] Siew Lin:
Not really, because I was so consumed by the thought that I have stage four cancer. I didn’t really worry so much about how they would feel. But I was more worried about how would life be, especially for my parents after I’m gone.
Because the stage four life survivor rate is about 25% for people who could live up to five years. So actually the life expectancy is quite low, however, there’s not a lot of research on younger people who had stage four cancer, especially metastatic breast cancer. So it’s really hard to tell.
[00:12:49] Kai Xin:
So are you still keeping a sense of optimism that perhaps you can be out of that percentage seen in the clinical papers?
[00:12:59] Siew Lin:
Yeah, that’s what I thought as well. So, Currently, my biggest challenge is to be able to find someone that I could look up to, for those who have actually survived metastatic breast cancer, especially at my age.
So probably my objective right now is to beat the statistics and to be able to live longer than that.
[00:13:23] Kai Xin:
You can be the role model that other people are looking out for. I see on your Facebook you’ve been sharing quite extensively as well in terms of awareness. The video that I saw was in 2020, very very courageous for you to do.
Is there anything that made you feel that you need to share this piece of news or piece of information with the world?
[00:13:47] Siew Lin:
I guess by sheer luck is that I somehow caught breast cancer early and there are not a lot of youth and younger people at my age to actually share this information. So I guess being the first around my circle of friends or my family, hopefully sharing this would probably bring more awareness for them.
[00:14:15] Cheryl:
Siew Lin, you know, from what you’re sharing, I’ve been a little bit silent because I’m just processing all of this as well. The first thing I wanna say is I’m so sorry that this has happened to you from zero to four. When zero happened, I think I saw on your social media, you’re really doing the best that you can to just live life to the fullest.
And I think that must feel like quite, quite a lot like suddenly to, to receive this news as well. And I don’t know exactly how you’re feeling cause I think it’s crazy. It’s, it’s a huge thing that comes but from what I see, like online, I, I do see you as an inspiration who is always trying to do your best with what you can.
So yeah, thank you for putting your story out there. Thank you for letting random people like me, know your story as well.
[00:14:57] Siew Lin:
Yeah, no worries. But I think I should correct you at that point in time when you say you’re sorry, I think you shouldn’t be sorry because it’s not something that you should be sorry for.
And it’s hard to tell a lot of my friends when they first heard the news, they’ll say, oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you have this. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I think the best way to actually tell someone who just recently diagnosed with breast cancer is to let them know that if you need any support, you can always let me know. I’m always glad to bring you to the hospital. I mean, I’m always happy when someone can fetch me to the hospital and probably just accompany them when whether they’re going through chemotherapy or any treatments. I think that’ll be better than just saying I’m sorry. Yeah.
[00:16:00] Kai Xin:
Thanks for shedding light on that.
Yeah, I, I think it’s always tough to, to know what to say cause you know, we are not in the position but also, sometimes we don’t want people to feel like, oh, we are looking down on them, or it’s, it’s something that we should take pity on.
A Dhamma teacher was saying, you know how sometimes people are hospitalized and then we say, get well soon. Actually a Buddhist way is to wish the person to have that mental strength to tide through whatever. Is to face the fact that maybe the person might not get well. If you get well, that’s fantastic. You know, I also hope Siew Lin, you can beat the statistics, but it’s also a bit tougher sometimes having to face the truth.
So I dunno, are there other words besides, I will be there for you. I can, you know, fetch you through the hospital. Are there other words that people can say to make you feel comforted?
[00:16:55] Siew Lin:
Well, I think to be honest, I think being silent and being just physically there with them is good enough. I think get well soon is the worst thing to ever say.
Sorry *sobbing*
[00:17:14] Kai Xin:
it’s okay. Take your time. Does it put pressure on you?
[00:17:21] Siew Lin:
Yeah, I think about what you said.
What if that person can never get better?
So I, I guess I can put in the sense that even though that person is going through chemotherapy or medications, but you just never know that yes, maybe the medications may work, but there are higher risk of that patient or even myself may face other side effects and also higher risk of getting other cancers as well.
Like I can give an example. I’m doing oral chemo. I just found out as well that the reason why,
[00:18:06] Cheryl:
You can cry.
[00:18:08] Siew Lin:
Okay, so after I was diagnosed with stage four, my oncologist, who’s my treating doctor, told me to do a genetic testing. So this genetic testing is to check whether cancer is genetically inherited. So from my family history, there is no breast cancer from our side.
But when I went through that genetic testing it was found out that I inherited Cancer genes. So basically there are two types of cancer genes. So they call it BRCA 2 or BRCA1. So it turns out that BRCA2 was tested positive in my genetic testing. So BRCA2 basically is, BR means breast CA means cancer. So it kinda makes sense that to have this, it means that my genes is not working properly to defend the body from cancer.
So for people to have to be tested.
I’m sorry.
Cheryl:
It’s okay. It’s okay.
Kai Xin:
Take your time. I wish I was there to hug you.
Cheryl:
Virtual hug.
Kai Xin:
Do you wanna grab a tissue? Maybe take a sip of water.
Siew Lin:
No, it’s okay. So actually as I was saying, for people who have BRCA 2, they have higher chance of getting cancer. Breast cancer is about 80%. Uterus cancer is about 40%. Yeah. So I wasn’t surprised because I accepted I mean, it came to no surprise that I, I have high chance of getting breast cancer cause it’s already there.
But there is also a higher chance of me getting other cancer as well. So that’s, I mean, in a way I’m taking medications to suppress the hormones. So actually the cause of the cancer not is not only genetic, but it’s also cause of my hormones where I have very strong estrogen hormones, which is feeding to to the cancer cells.
So to actually block this estrogen, I have to take a pill called estrogen. There’s many types of medications named, but the one that I’m taking is to suppress the estrogen hormones. So the side effects is that you won’t have period, which is maybe many girls’ dream but it puts you into menopause.
So I believe most of our mothers who went through menopause, you would understand that sometimes they have mood swings, sometimes they had hot flushes. And many other things. At my age to experience all this menopause and it is it really brings me to slight depression in the past few months as well. And did you know that if you have menopause you higher chance of getting heart disease, stroke, osteoporosis. So sometimes if I look back, is it worse to get treated for cancer or actually dying, having heart attack or getting stroke and not being able to move for the rest of your life.
It’s a very hard question to actually answer. But probably it’s some thought for those people out there.
[00:21:54] Cheryl:
And I would imagine your entire life is changed, right? Like, for me, I think it is about, stable career, relationship, and then the really normal stuff like everyone our age is thinking about what’s next, what’s next?
And that’s kind of just pulled out of the rug for you because all you are facing now is uncertainty. Do you want to share a little bit more maybe about what are some of the things that help you to ground yourself in trying to find peace in this entire journey?
[00:22:33] Siew Lin:
I think it’s just taking one step at a time.
I really love kids, but I guess (having) kids is out of the question right now because you can’t have kids when you’re going through this treatment and I didn’t really have big dreams of like having a house of my own or having a big car. Anything that’s materialistic, it’s really not within my not really my so-called societal goals.
So. I guess what I can do right now is to really make peace by taking just one step at a time, one day at a time. And it can be as small as just waking up and going to work and doing the simplest things, which you can’t bring yourself to do. And I guess what I started doing is really treating my arthritis because now my, medication is giving side effects, which is arthritis as well.
So it causes stiffening in your joints. So as a person who likes to exercise and my big dream of achieving Iron Man, for those who don’t know, Iron Man is basically swimming, cycling and running a full marathon all in one single day.
Kai Xin:
Wow.
[00:24:12] Siew Lin:
Yeah. It’s a really extreme sport, but for me, my current state, I don’t think I’m able to do that.
So finding myself to exercise is really, really hard. My schedule is really just really filled up and I couldn’t find a time to really do it. So I started signing up for forcing myself to sign up for swimming in the swimming group. So they have very disciplined training every single, single day.
So I signed up for that and I started going for trainings like diligently just going for training is good enough to really help me cope with some of the side effects that I’m having. So having to do that, just give me a little bit more peace that I would say.
[00:25:01] Kai Xin:
Good that you have almost like a support system or just a life system to keep you going and also seem like celebrating small wins, simplest things can make a very big difference. So thanks for sharing that. I’m wondering, have your priorities in life changed?
[00:25:20] Siew Lin:
I would say it hasn’t changed much. I would say, I give less priority to work.
[00:25:27] Cheryl:
rightfully so.
[00:25:30] Siew Lin:
I mean, let’s just be honest. I mean, work can’t be your whole life. I mean, even if you resign, that’s always someone else who would replace you. That’s the reality of working in a rat-race world.
So I don’t really focus so much on work this time around, but of course, I really love where I’m working right now, so I couldn’t say, I don’t care about what I work. I do still care to a certain extent, but when it comes to my health, I will just prioritise on that first, which is as simple as just visiting the hospital and taking a day off if I really need to.
[00:26:10] Kai Xin:
Is there anything like through this journey that you have reflected on like aha moments or certain reflections that just become amplified along the way?
[00:26:24] Siew Lin:
I think for the past few weeks I have been reflecting on the thought that I deserve all the privilege that I can get because I’m gonna die soon, so I’m going to do whatever I want. So in a way that I feel like basically, you deserve all the attention that you get, it’s like..
[00:26:46] Cheryl:
Self love.
[00:26:48] Siew Lin:
No, it’s not self love. I’m not allowed to swear right?
[00:26:53] Cheryl:
Can if you want.
[00:26:53] Siew Lin:
They call it privileged bitch I guess
It’s like oh! Entitled. Yeah. Okay. Okay. The word, the word is entitled.
Yeah. So I feel like I’m entitled to everything. I give you a scenario. If I were standing on the LT train. And if I have to fight for a seat with another person, inside my heart, I’ll probably tell ‘you don’t deserve to sit. You’re not even having cancer. You stand la. I deserve to sit cause I’m gonna die soon anyway. That kind of entitled mindset.
It’s not really healthy to have this kind of mindset. I am aware of that, but I just can’t help myself to have that kind of thought, which, in a sense, it really puts me in a very selfish position because somehow in a way I’m prioritising myself over those around me. So it’s still a struggle for me, but at least to be aware that I have that thought, I’m just trying to tame myself.
[00:28:06] Kai Xin:
I’m curious, why do you feel that it’s not right to feel entitled?
Because you do deserve the care and concern. Is it just because it’s framed or it comes from a sense of aversion, which makes you feel a bit uncomfortable?
[00:28:22] Siew Lin:
Because in a way I’m still alive and I still can’t move like everyone else. It’s just that I had slighter difficulty in terms of like, probably if you ask me to sit very long on the floor, like squatting position, probably I can’t do that, but if an old auntie can do it. And she has arthritis and you can’t do it, what makes you so deserving of being entitled, right?
So in a way, I would feel entitled because I think that the other person may not know what I’m going through.
[00:29:02] Kai Xin:
Yeah, I think it’s okay, I mean, you are entitled to care and concern. Perhaps it is just the way that we project it on others. Are we like compromising their wellbeing and stuff, but I don’t think you should steal their entitlement away from yourself because you’re also a human being. You need love whether you’re old or young.
And I’m also wondering, like, in terms of your relationship with this whole illness as well as death, has it changed? Because at the start of the chat, you were saying it didn’t cross your mind that it could be breast cancer. I suppose that comes with age as well, because the youth, you tend to think that cancer and illness come with older age. What’s your relationship with this whole topic? Has it changed?
[00:29:53] Siew Lin:
I guess I wouldn’t say I love the whole experience.
[00:29:59] Kai Xin:
Who would love the experience? *chuckle*
[00:30:01] Siew Lin:
I guess like every other person it’s not the destination right? It is the process. Enjoy the journey of whatever you are experiencing. I think that’s the beauty of it.
Because I live by this philosophy when I started writing, I’m blogging quite frequently.
I always believe that I should live my days like I’m going to die. So I have lived by that philosophy so strongly even until now and even before I was diagnosed with cancer. So it doesn’t change much for me because I have lived through my years beautifully and meaningfully for myself and it’s a bit sad that other people can’t see the same. When I hear friends, people close to me who have regrets of not fulfilling what they want to do, it’s a bit of time wasted on their end.
But especially for my end, I take my time really seriously even when I was very young. Cause time is really precious, so, whatever seconds and minutes I have, I really make use of it as much as I can. So every minute is like a living memory.
[00:31:22] Cheryl:
I want to ask you a question that is somewhat related but it’s two sides of it.
Is there anything that you have not done and want to (do)?
Second is, what do you want to leave behind? Like you can call it your legacy or like, I don’t know whether it resonates with you, but yeah, the kind of idea you get what I mean?
[00:31:43] Siew Lin:
Definitely, to accomplish Iron Man probably before 35. Not sure. And at the top of my list is definitely climbing mountain Fuji actually. So unfortunately there was MCO previously, so now that Japan has opened their doors, I probably can use some of the money to go.
Unfortunately, I didn’t want to leave anything behind. But if I were to leave, it would be stories about people in my life. So I had this inspiration to actually write something about the people around me. People who I grew up with throughout my life. I wanted to call it hundred people who had made me for me.
So, I wanted to list out some of the people have really shaped me for who I am, and also just to commemorate conversations between the both of us, which was very meaningful at that moment. It’s really, really a lot of work. Probably I’ll start it one day, but that day is not so soon yet.
[00:33:12] Kai Xin:
You can voice record and get the software to transcribe.
[00:33:16] Siew Lin:
Yeah. True, true.
[00:33:18] Kai Xin:
But it’s so beautiful that you have this sense of gratitude because, I mean, just now you mentioned that you have the thought of entitlement, right? But then you feel bad about it. And I, I think that’s a common thread over here.
You’re just very compassionate and you see how people have shaped you and you’re kind of intertwined with everybody and I think you’ve also shaped many people’s lives as well. People should probably write a book about you.
Actually, if you were to write a book about your own life story, what would be the title on the book cover?
[00:33:55] Siew Lin:
Wow. Thousands of funny moments of Siew Lin.
[00:34:04] Kai Xin:
Is it gonna be a lot memes?
[00:34:07] Siew Lin:
Definitely.
[00:34:10] Cheryl: Thousand memes of Siew Lin.
[00:34:13] Siew Lin: Oh, that’s a good title.
[00:34:16] Kai Xin: Yeah. Okay. When is it gonna be published? Keep you accountable.
[00:34:20] Siew Lin: Wow. One day.
[00:34:24] Kai Xin: No pressure. No pressure.
[00:34:26] Cheryl: Thanks for sharing every single thing you have been super courageous, and vulnerable and it’s not easy for you to come and share this as well. So thank you very much.
Are there any things that you’d like to share with listeners or any advice to all the listeners here?
[00:34:42] Siew Lin:
If I want to share, it is actually one of the frequently used quotes that a lot of breast cancer survivors actually share. Sometimes living through cancer. It takes up a lot of your time and affects a lot of yourself and your relationship with other people as well. But it’s not your core identity. It’s because of what you’re going through that makes you just a little bit different from other people. But it’s not the whole story of your life. It’s just one chapter. So, I am who I am because I have to do what is necessary for myself to treat myself. So it’s not a real version of myself.
So do get treated and be consciously be aware of your body and if you suspect anything, do just get it checked, because you may never know that it’ll be a life-changing decision in the future. So yeah, every symptom matters.
[00:36:00] Kai Xin:
Thanks for sharing that. I really like how you say it’s a chapter. On the other hand, I also think that it reflects so much about you, your qualities, how you show up to challenges. I think we ought to also celebrate your success in terms of how you keep a strong mind, and it’s also okay sometimes you are vulnerable. And thanks for being vulnerable on this podcast to show the real you. So just now when Cheryl say, what do you wanna leave behind? Even though you don’t wanna leave anything behind, I think people would remember you for many, many good things. Yeah. Just wanna comment on that. And once again, thanks for being here on our podcast.
[00:36:40] Siew Lin: Thank you for having me.
[00:36:42] Cheryl: And if there’s anything that we could help with if you want to leverage the platform to share anything about yourself feel free to do so. And then on a personal note, also, if you need anything, although I, I’m not there, like in person if you need anything, resources or, you know, like even monks to chant for you, I think we can definitely find a way to help you as well.
[00:37:04] Kai Xin: Yeah, we’re friends now so we can ping me.
[00:37:07] Cheryl: Ping me. She’s my friend.
—
[00:37:10] Cheryl: What are your thoughts, Kai Xin? Any reflections?
[00:37:13] Kai Xin:
I thought it’s quite interesting to see how she show no trace of anger when she’s talking about her journey because she actually did some form of measure to prevent the cancer cells from even, you know, spreading. And I think calcification, that was where she removed one side of her breast and then it kind of escalated to stage four. I think if it’s me, I would feel. Yeah, just like, why, you know, I did the thing already. I’ll feel angry. Uh, perhaps she has already gone through the phase. So I think it’s inspiring to see the level of acceptance that she has dealing with reality and just living life to the fullest with a lot of gratitude.
Yeah, I thought it was quite interesting to see how she showed no trace of anger. And she’s talking about her journey because, she did some form of measures to prevent the cancer cells from even growing or spreading because when there was calcification, that’s when she removed one side of her breast and that was stage zero. And within a very short period of time, after that, it escalated to stage four.
I think if it were me, I would be in a state of denial. And probably feel angry as well. Perhaps, she has already gone through that phase. So I think it’s really inspiring to see the level of acceptance that she has and how she’s dealing with her current reality. And acceptance, not in a form of being happy and positive all the time, but it’s really just living life to the fullest. With a lot of gratitude, despite the challenges. So I really admire that about her.
[00:38:55] Cheryl: Definitely. And I think gratitude is one of the qualities that really shined through as well, , in our chat with her, especially, you know, when given the chance with that question to answer. What book she’ll write and she wanted to use that chance to dedicate it to all the people who have influenced her, I think that is really inspiring because if it’s me, I’ll be like, oh my God, 1000 amazing things that I did.
[00:39:23] Kai Xin: You’d write a memoir, right?
[00:39:24] Cheryl:
Yeah! But the fact that that piece of work is one that speaks of others really talks about her gratitude. And I think, you know, as listeners and even myself as a co-host, I feel that this really is an invitation for me to reflect on my life.
Think about three people that we are all grateful for and you know, maybe we don’t say thank you too much. And this could be an opportunity to text them, call them, and say, yeah, thank you very much and I really appreciate what you do.
[00:39:56] Kai Xin:
Yeah, and I think she’s also very compassionate and I think when a person is ill, the mental faculty is not so strong. It’s really like a true test of the practice. Because it is difficult if your body goes through a lot of pain and she still had that capacity to reflect and that wisdom to say, no other people also deserve care and love, even though I’m going through a difficult situation.
And also the part where she mentioned how at a very young age, she really kind of know what she wants to do and she takes her time really seriously. There’s a sutta called Auspicious Day, and it says, ardently do what you need to do today. Who knows?
Tomorrow death may come and. I think now I’m quite complacent, like still young, you know, and death contemplation is definitely something I’m gonna do more often after this episode.
[00:40:46] Cheryl:
Yeah, and definitely I think it’s normal. I think because we are young, we’re generally healthy, and we are intoxicated by three things and Budha highlighted that these three things are firstly our youth. Secondly, our. And thirdly our life.
So we think that death, sickness and old age will not happen to us, and that’s very dangerous to think like that because really, you know, we are the slaves to time and any of this youth health and life can be taken any second, any moment. So yeah, definitely a great reminder to be heedful and use our time wisely, even if we may not have a very clear idea of what our purpose or meaning is. At least try to make time to do things that are skilful, do things that are wholesome. And actually, one last point that I had was really about how the conversation receiving was almost like a journey.
She started, you know, introducing herself as like, Hey, I’m, I’m Siew Lin, I’m a cancer survivor. But you know, as we progressed through the conversation, as we reflected a little bit more about her life, her ending, her closing note was really about cancer is an important part of her life, but it does not define her.
And this makes me think about how often I define myself by my worst moments, but we should also see what we can get from our worst moments, the virtues and qualities that shine true, and maybe let ourselves be defined by that instead of the worst part for ourselves. What do you think?
[00:42:22] Kai Xin:
I think, well, I mean, you put it so nicely.
It is indeed true, that it’s a defining moment for her to inspire others, but it’s not gonna be what defines her as who she is.
It has been a really inspiring episode. Thanks, Cheryl, for inviting Siew Lin to this podcast. And for our listeners, hope you have something that you’ve taken away. You can share it on our telegrams, and say some words of encouragement.
If you’ve been inspired by Siew Lin, you can also type that in the Telegram chat. We’ll share it with her.
And yeah, if you like this episode, please give us a five-star review or share this with a friend.
And til the next episode, may you stay happy and wise.
Special thanks to our sponsor for this episode
Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña.
