Support Us

Order “Build Your Peace” Nanobricks Blind Box Now →

A Guide to Not Beating Yourself Up on the Dhamma Path

A Guide to Not Beating Yourself Up on the Dhamma Path

by | Nov 21, 2025 | Buddhist practice, Emotional-mastery, Purpose & Happiness, Read, Wellbeing

TLDR: There’s a beautiful saying to “meet others where they are”, inviting us to offer patience and understanding to people just as they are. But how often do we “meet ourselves where we are”? On the Dhamma path, it’s easy to fall into the trap of harsh self-judgment when we fall short of our ideals. Drawing on the Buddha’s advice to Mahanama, this article invites you to relate skillfully to your habits by watering the flowers (your goodness) rather than the weeds (your self-criticism).

The Burden of Perfectionist Practice

Perhaps you’ve been there: sitting in meditation, frustrated that your mind won’t settle. Or catching yourself feeling angry and berating yourself for not letting it go. Maybe you’ve noticed unwholesome thoughts arising, and that triggers a wave of self-admonishment: “I am so unwholesome. I should have overcome these habits by now. I should be more mindful and virtuous like everyone else.” 

Our spiritual quest begins with the aspiration for happiness and peace. Yet, the deeper we practice, the more keenly we notice our defilements, leaving many sincere practitioners to wonder, “Why am I suffering more now?”

Noticing these tendencies shows your growing discernment. Your mind recognises unskilful tendencies more easily and recoils from them. But punishing yourself for these realisations only adds an extra layer of suffering. The challenge is not to eradicate all defilements overnight, but to change our relationship with them, and with the practice itself.

How can we better relate to the practice?

The Buddha’s Advice: Rejoice In Your Goodness - Your virtue (sila) Your generosity (caga) Your faith (saddhā) Your wisdom (paññā) Your kindness (mettā)

The Buddha’s Advice: Rejoice In Your Goodness

Mahanama, a devoted lay disciple, asked the Buddha where we should let our minds dwell (Mahanama Sutta). The Buddha taught him to establish wholesome qualities first, then, on that basis, recollect the Triple Gem, as well as reflect on his own goodness. Specifically, his sila (virtue), his caga (generosity), and the qualities that he shares with the devas (heavenly beings) – faith, virtue, learning, generosity, and wisdom.

The Buddha explained that these recollections uplift the mind to joy, which lays the foundation for deep meditation (samadhi). He encourages us to regularly find joy in the wholesome within ourselves, because joy is a condition for samadhi. Such spiritual joy is not just nice-to-have, but essential for meditative progress.

But how do we honour our goodness while still honestly facing our unwholesome tendencies?

Meeting Yourself Where You Are

Meeting Yourself Where You Are

It is through wise acceptance, not denial or self-attack. 

The goal is a joyful and wholesome mind. Criticising yourself for habits born of past conditioning only creates tension and blocks progress. Instead, meet yourself where you are, and not the ideal you wish you’d already become.

Acknowledge your current state just as it is: Your resentment, your lust, your inability to access loving-kindness, these are valid starting points. Everyone who is not yet an Anagami (third stage of enlightenment) still experiences varying degrees of sensual desire and ill-will. You can notice the areas that need attention without making yourself wrong for having them.

Recognise that awakening is a gradual process: The Buddha likened the path to awakening to the ocean shoreline, slanting and sloping gently, not abruptly. Progress is almost invisible day to day, but it becomes clearer over time.

Working with What’s Present, Step By Step

The Buddha compared spiritual training to a clever horse trainer who trains a colt (young racehorse) step by step: first wearing a bit, then a harness, then commands. Each action is uncomfortable at first as the colt is not used to it. Each step is patiently repeated until the colt becomes peaceful, before progressing further.

Likewise, in your spiritual practice, tame one unskillful habit at a time. Practise skilfully with whatever suffering that’s arising right now. Forcing big changes or new virtues all at once leads to discouragement and exhaustion. Train your body, speech, and mind in manageable steps by choosing practices that suit your present capacity. 

Water the Flowers, Don’t Water the Weeds

As Ajahn Brahm taught, “Water the flowers, don’t water the weeds.” What you water, grows. 

Criticising your flaws (watering weeds) only feeds discouragement. Rejoice in your moments of goodness (watering flowers), and joy will flourish.

Following the Buddha’s guidance to Mahanama, make rejoicing a daily practice:

Take your time to reflect on your kind deeds. Perhaps you gave way to someone, made a donation, listened to a friend in distress, let an ant pass unharmed, or spoke the truth even when it was hard.

Remember your sila, the moments when you chose kindness over cruelty, honesty over deception, or restraint over indulgence. Recall your caga, the times you shared your time, resources, or energy with others. Reflect on your faith in the Triple Gem, how you honoured the Sangha, committed to learning the Dhamma, and reflected on your experiences in line with the Buddha’s teachings. 

Consider starting a Goodness Diary where you note down these acts, especially those that gladdened your heart. Over time, you will see that goodness has been flowing through you all along. You just needed to notice and remember. 

Even Angulimala found redemption. Your “two bad bricks” don’t define your wall. See the good bricks too.

Forgiving Yourself

Sometimes, the self-criticism runs deeper. Burdened by deep regret over past actions, rejoicing in your virtue can feel impossible. You might believe your mistakes are unforgivable, even worse than those of Angulimala, the serial killer transformed by the Buddha’s compassion. 

Begin by honestly acknowledging your mistakes and committing to learn from them. Where possible, make amends through sincere apologies and wholesome actions. If you have harmed life, save and nurture lives wherever you can. If you have sown discord, help bring people together in harmony, however you’re able. You might also find comfort in seeking forgiveness from the Triple Gem, or if it feels right, from those harmed, even if only in your thoughts.

Forgiveness is a journey that often takes intentional, repeated effort. 

If self-judgment returns, remind yourself of Ajahn Brahm’s story of the Two Bad Bricks:

“We’ve all got our two bad bricks, but the perfect bricks in each one of us are much, much more than the mistakes.”

In your brick wall of life, look around the two bad bricks and see the good bricks too. Release, for a moment, the urge to see only flaws. 

Step back, gain perspective: your wall is beautiful overall.

Let Goodness Bloom

Our obstacle is rarely wickedness, but forgetfulness. We remember every unskilful deed we’ve done, but forget our countless moments of goodness. As you keep nurturing your goodness, practise remembering them too. Experience for yourself how the path to peace is paved, not by dwelling on your shortcomings, but by celebrating the goodness already in your life.

Can you remember one wholesome action you’ve done that gladdened your heart? Water that flower today. 🙂

Further Learning

Acknowledgements

Thank you Heng Xuan for turning our casual conversation into a fully-formed draft, and Kaylee for sharing resources and her encouragement to write this piece. 

I seek forgiveness if I’ve misrepresented the Dhamma in any way.

Wise Steps

  1. Reflect on Mahanama Sutta
  2. Keep nurturing your sila (virtue) and caga (generosity)
  3. Remember your goodness in daily life and in meditation
  4. Work with unwholesome tendencies one at a time
My Journey in Controlling Impulse Spending: A Buddhist Reflection

My Journey in Controlling Impulse Spending: A Buddhist Reflection

by | Nov 12, 2025 | Home, Lifestyle, Tech, Mindfulness & Meditation, Money matters, Read, Wellbeing, Work, finance, productivity

TLDR: Ever bought something you had to have, only for the joy to fade right after? Ophelia reflects on her struggles with impulse spending and how Buddhist mindfulness has slowly helped her make more intentional choices. Spoiler: She still wants things, but now she pauses and listens to her wise mind first.

Impulse spending. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? That irresistible urge to buy something on the spot, believing in that moment it’s exactly what we need to plug that blackhole within our hearts. 

The Traps of Greed

Remember the last time you scroll mindlessly to a sponsored Instagram post, you notice something novel/cute/pretty/quirky/productive, and feel that little tug? A whisper says you need this <ad product> right now. And you clicked “Shop Now”. 

The item that just popped up on your screen promises a better life, a more put-together, more fulfilled version of you. Not just one item, but every item you browse holds endless possibilities. You want that future to happen.

With just a press of “Buy it Now”, Google auto-fills your credit card details and your shipping address because it is such a helpful personal assistant. Within nanoseconds of authorising that transaction, you’ve got mail: Yay! We are preparing your order. Delivery within 3-5 working days. Track your shipment here.

You heaved a sigh of relief. Life can only be better after you receive the parcel. You check the shipment progress in anticipation. Can’t wait for good things to happen.

Or maybe that last time happened within a physical store of a major retailer: you remember seeing “50% off” cards hanging from every other corner.

Everyone else has something in their hands, browsing for more. Unconsciously, you ran your hands through the aisles for something. Anything. You want to be like them. You just got your salary today; you know you can treat yourself for slogging a month at work. You deserve better.

You’d bring that “promise-of-a-better-life” home. Head light, hands full. You feel a flicker of joy. 

Within days, sometimes hours, that fickle light fades out like the moment a sparkling wand dies. The exact moment you set the new trophy down, you notice the older purchases still on the coffee table. Shopping bags and cardboard boxes litter the living room. So do your guilt and emptiness.

Then, the next craving would come. You want to experience that joy of waving the sparkly wand of consumerism again. A harmless pen. A sheet of stickers. An inspiring notebook. Another shirt, different in colour than the ones you had. Cleaning supplies. Gradually, the trophy becomes more costly.

That’s the thing with craving, a loose translation of tanha. It never ends. You got some and you want more.

What I’ve described was an older self. She’s still here in her own ways now.

In the Dhammapada (verse 251), the Buddha puts it plainly:

 “There is no fire like passion… no river like craving.”

This fire burned through my bank account. This river flooded my apartment with things and left me wondering, why do I keep doing this to myself?

Painting Instead of Possessing

Painting Instead of Possessing

One day, I came across a story on Instagram. A woman who’d paint things she wanted to buy instead of purchasing them. A luxury handbag. A designer couch. A beautiful blouse. She’d record her wants visually, write down why she liked it, and that was it. No checkout. Just observation.

I haven’t tried this hack yet, but something about it stuck with me. It reminded me of what the Buddha often nudged us towards: not rejecting beauty, but seeing their nature clearly. We can appreciate things without clinging. Enjoy presence without owning.

Maybe by capturing beauty on paper, we can acknowledge the desire that arises at that moment and recognise it as distinct from the choice of not acting on greed. We can then let go before the purchase, not just after feeling the regret.

My Online Shopping Cart = My Mirror

My Online Shopping Cart = My Mirror

Here’s one thing I have been doing. Whenever I see something I want online, I add it to my cart and then I walk away. No checkout. No commitment.

Days pass. A week, sometimes more.

If I return to the cart, I usually find that I may not want those things anymore. The dopamine’s gone. I’ve forgotten why I wanted them in the first place. That pause becomes a mirror. One that shows me the impermanence of my own wanting.

I think of the space as a little mindfulness bell. Every time I feel that surge of “I must have this thing now,* it’s not about saying no. It’s about watching the arising and ceasing of feelings. Letting the wave rise and fall without getting swept up.

Physical Shops = Sensory Overload

Walking into a store? A whole different story. The lights, the smells, the textures of fabric between your fingers, they’re all designed to seduce.

So I came up with a tiny hack. I don’t carry a shopping basket if I’m alone. No trolley either. Just two bare hands.

It might sound silly, but it works to mitigate damage when impulse takes over the steering wheel. If I can’t carry, I can’t buy. This constraint forces me to think, Why do I really want this, or am I just blindly grabbing clutter in another moment of craving?

Choosing with my hands means choosing with my awareness. That’s become a kind of training ground for restraint against the cruising desire.

Bring a Friend, Save Your Wallet

Sometimes, the timeliest wisdom comes from someone beside you. For example, an admirable friend who gently calls out your patterns.

Not long ago, I was eyeing yet another sticker pack. My friend, who’s seen me go through all this before, asked simply, do you really need them, or is it just a passing desire?

She didn’t shame me. Just reminded me to pause. In that moment, the grip of craving loosened. I managed to walk away.

That’s the quiet power of community. A little accountability. A little love.

Mindfulness is not Deprivation

Here’s the thing: the mindfulness practice is not about never buying anything ever again. It’s about asking, Why do I want this? What need is the item trying to fill? And most importantly, will that need be truly satisfied with buying?

Not long ago, after weeks of waiting, I finally bought a set of black fine markers. I’d thought about it. Waited. Reflected. They are inseparable from my sketchbook filled with zentangle patterns doodles.

Now, every time I draw with the fine markers, I feel joy. Not because it’s fancy, but because I chose it with care. It feels earned. Not by money, but by attention. Maybe I’ll start drawing and painting all my desired possessions with these markers.

That’s a shift. I don’t want to live at the mercy of every craving. I want to choose my actions. Live simply. Spend wisely. Cherish what I have. Keep using them, repairing them.

Because in the end, most cravings are just visitors to your mind. And like guests who show up uninvited at your home, if you give them space, attend to their needs with a cup of tea and listen to their musings with presence, they’ll leave you in due time.

Wise Steps:

  1. Delay checkout by at least seven days so desire meets impermanence, as seen when I left items in my online cart and returned to find I no longer wanted most of them.
  2. Shop with empty hands so your body sets a boundary, like skipping baskets and trolleys which forced me to ask if I truly needed what I grabbed.
  3. Invite a mindful friend to be your mirror and agree on a gentle question, as when my friend asked if the sticker pack was a passing desire and the urge eased.
A Buddhist Guide to Overcoming Anxiety

A Buddhist Guide to Overcoming Anxiety

by | Nov 7, 2025 | Buddhist practice, Emotional-mastery, Read, Wellbeing

TL;DR: Anxiety often comes from clinging to the past or fearing the future. The Buddha’s teachings offer practical tools to meet it with mindfulness, not panic.

It’s 3 AM, and I’m lying in bed with my heart racing about a presentation I have to give next week. My mind is spinning through every possible scenario where things could go wrong. Forgetting my words, technical difficulties, and the judgmental looks from colleagues. Sound familiar?

Anxiety, that unwelcome guest in the mind, has a way of barging in unannounced and overstaying its welcome. For years, I thought this was just how my brain worked – a constant hum of “what if” scenarios playing in the background. But the Buddha’s teachings offered me something I didn’t expect: not just understanding, but actual tools that work.

When the Mind Won't Stop Racing

When the Mind Won’t Stop Racing

The Buddha once said, “You shouldn’t chase after the past or place expectations on the future. What is past is left behind. The future is as yet unreached. Whatever quality is present you clearly see right there, right there.” 

Easy to say when you’re enlightened, I used to think. But here’s what I’ve learned after countless nights spent catastrophizing: anxiety lives almost entirely in the past and future.

Think about it. When was the last time you felt anxious about what was actually happening right now? I mean really happening – not what you thought it meant, or what it might lead to, but the actual present moment. More often than not, right now is okay. It’s the stories we tell ourselves about what happened or what might happen that send our nervous systems into overdrive.

I remember one particularly rough patch during my university years when I was convinced I’d fail my final exams. I spent weeks in a state of panic, barely sleeping, constantly checking and rechecking my study schedule. It wasn’t until I sat down for the actual exam that I realised I’d been torturing myself over hypothetical scenarios. 

The exam itself? Manageable. The weeks of anxiety leading up to it? Completely unnecessary suffering.

Mindfulness: Not Just Another Buzzword

Mindfulness: Not Just Another Buzzword

Mindfulness gets thrown around a lot these days, but in the Buddhist context, it’s not about achieving some zen-like state of perpetual calm. It’s about learning to observe your thoughts and emotions without getting swept away by them.

When anxiety hits, our instinct is usually to either fight it or flee from it. We try to think our way out of anxious thoughts, or we distract ourselves with Netflix, social media, or whatever else might numb the discomfort. But mindfulness offers a third option: just watching.

I started with just five minutes a day, sitting quietly and placing awareness on my breath. Not trying to stop anxious thoughts, but noticing when they arise and gently returning my attention to the present moment. It felt awkward at first, like trying to have a conversation with someone while a construction crew worked outside. 

But gradually, I learned to step back from anxious thoughts and recognise them as passing phenomena rather than absolute truths.

The breakthrough came when I realised I wasn’t my thoughts. That voice in my head predicting doom and gloom? It’s not me. It’s just mental chatter, as impermanent as clouds passing through the sky.

The Four Noble Truths: A Framework for Understanding

The Four Noble Truths: A Framework for Understanding

The Buddha’s Four Noble Truths provide a surprisingly practical framework for understanding anxiety:

First Truth: Suffering exists. This includes mental suffering like anxiety. There’s something oddly comforting about this acknowledgement that you’re not broken for experiencing anxiety. It’s part of the human condition.

Second Truth: Suffering has a cause. Anxiety often arises from our attachment to outcomes and our resistance to uncertainty. We want things to be different from how they are, and we exhaust ourselves trying to control what we cannot.

Third Truth: Suffering can end. This doesn’t mean we’ll never feel anxious again, but we can change our relationship with anxiety so it doesn’t dominate our lives.

Fourth Truth: There’s a path to freedom. The Noble Eightfold Path offers practical steps – right mindfulness, right concentration, right effort, those actually work.

I used to think the Second Truth was too simplistic. “Just stop being attached,” I’d tell myself, as if it were that easy. But attachment isn’t about caring less, it’s about holding our desires and expectations more lightly. When I stopped needing everything to go perfectly, anxiety lost much of its power over me.

Rewiring Anxious Thinking

The Majjhima Nikaya contains some of the Buddha’s most practical advice for dealing with difficult mental states. In MN 19, he talks about observing thoughts without getting caught up in them. This isn’t about suppressing anxious thoughts, it’s about changing your relationship with them.

“When I reflected that it blocks wisdom, it’s on the side of distress, and it doesn’t lead to extinguishment, it went away.” – MN19

When I catch myself spiralling into worst-case scenarios, I try to pause and ask: “Is this thought helpful right now?” Usually, the answer is no. Worrying about whether my boss thinks I’m incompetent doesn’t make me a better employee. Replaying an awkward conversation from three days ago doesn’t change what happened.

The Buddha’s advice in MN 20 about cultivating wholesome thoughts has been game-changing for me. Instead of trying to force out anxious thoughts, I’ve learned to crowd them out with more helpful ones. 

“Take a mendicant who is focusing on some subject that gives rise to bad, unskillful thoughts connected with desire, hate, and delusion. That mendicant should focus on some other subject connected with the skillful. As they do so, those bad thoughts are given up and come to an end” – MN 20

When I notice my mind going down a rabbit hole of worry, I might shift my attention to gratitude or remind myself of times I’ve handled challenges successfully.

The Illusion of a Separate Self

The Illusion of a Separate Self

Here’s where Buddhist psychology gets really interesting. Venerable Amy Miller, a Tibetan Nun, points out that anxiety often stems from our exaggerated sense of self. We create this story about who we are, what we need to succeed, what threatens us, and then we exhaust ourselves trying to protect this fictional character.

I think about all the times I’ve felt anxious about “looking stupid” or “not measuring up.” Looking stupid to whom? Measuring up to what standard? When I really examine these fears, they often dissolve. The “self” that feels threatened by giving a bad presentation or making a social mistake, that self is largely a mental construction.

This doesn’t mean we don’t exist or that nothing matters. It means we can hold our sense of self more lightly. When I stopped taking my ego so seriously, anxiety became much more manageable.

What Actually Works

After years of trial and error, here’s what I’ve found helpful:

  • Daily meditation, even just 10 minutes. Not to achieve some perfect state, but to practice observing thoughts without getting lost in them.
  • Questioning anxious thoughts. Is this thought true? Is it helpful? What would I tell a friend who had this thought?
  • Remembering impermanence. This anxiety will pass. This situation will change. Nothing lasts forever.
  • Focusing on what I can control. I can’t control whether people like my presentation, but I can prepare well and speak from the heart.
  • Accepting uncertainty. Life is inherently uncertain. Fighting this fact creates suffering.

The Path Forward

The Buddha’s teachings don’t promise that anxiety will disappear overnight. They offer something better: a way to live with more ease, even when difficult emotions arise. The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety entirely, it’s to change our relationship with it.

Some days I still wake up with that familiar tightness in my chest. But now I have tools. I can sit with the discomfort without making it worse with resistance. I can observe anxious thoughts without believing everything they tell me. I can remember that this too shall pass.

As the Buddha taught, we all have the capacity to free ourselves from unnecessary suffering. It takes patience, practice, and a willingness to question our assumptions about how things should be. But the freedom waiting on the other side is worth every moment of effort.

May you find peace in the midst of uncertainty, and may your anxiety become a teacher rather than a tyrant.

The Day I Stopped Being Ashamed of Being Buddhist in a Mission School

The Day I Stopped Being Ashamed of Being Buddhist in a Mission School

by | Nov 5, 2025 | Being Buddhist, Family, Read | 0 comments

TLDR: Misconceptions about Buddhism left me embarrassed, especially when questioned by others. Eventually, this discomfort inspired me to study deeper and proudly embrace my beliefs.

Editor’s Note: Some facts have been changed so as not to identify the writer’s educational background

Feeling Out of Place

The Day I Stopped Being Ashamed of Being Buddhist in a Mission School

Growing up Buddhist in a Singapore mission school wasn’t always easy. I clearly remember the puzzled looks when classmates caught a whiff of incense on my uniform, or when someone sarcastically asked if kamma was another god we prayed to.

“If your god is so great, why did he (the Buddha) die in his 80s and not live forever?” my close friends would often quiz me.

It felt awkward and isolating. I was frequently misunderstood, out of place, and even embarrassed. To them, my beliefs seemed outdated and strange.

To me, it was painful. I wanted desperately to fit in, but the mission school’s religion didn’t resonate with my scientific mind. I couldn’t put aside my thirst for knowledge and science for beliefs that, in my opinion, didn’t align with historical records or evolutionary science.

Misunderstandings and Misconceptions

Things became even harder when my friends started converting to the school’s predominant faith. Suddenly, Buddhism became an easy target. We were viewed as easy converts compared to followers of other faiths. Why? Most Buddhists were born into the religion with little to no access to religious texts. Growing up, I even thought the Buddha was from China.

Some whispered that I worshipped demons or idols, pointing to the statues on our family altar. Each comment felt like a punch. Why couldn’t they understand? But on a deeper level, I started asking myself why I didn’t understand my own faith better.

One memory stands out vividly: at my grandmother’s funeral, cousins of another faith asked me, “What are they chanting for Ah Mah? Does she even understand it? Do you? This is such a waste of time.”

I froze. I didn’t have an answer. Shame crept in—a sense of inadequacy, confusion, and helplessness.

I followed the rituals mindlessly, bowing and standing endlessly without any clue what I was supposed to chant or why I was bowing so many times.

Discovering the Real Meaning

But something powerful happened then. Those uncomfortable moments became the catalyst for diving deeper into Buddhism.

I began researching, reading, and practising sincerely. What is Dhamma? How could I find it?

I learned the true meaning behind altar offerings. Flowers symbolise impermanence, lights represent wisdom, and water stands for purity. They weren’t offered for the Buddha to consume; they were reminders for me and everyone who encountered them.

I realised how meaningful each ritual truly was. Gradually, understanding replaced embarrassment, and quiet pride took root in my heart.

I started enthusiastically sharing my newfound knowledge with relatives who had long been Buddhists, hoping to nurture greater pride in our shared identity. When there is knowledge, we can genuinely connect the Dhamma to our everyday experiences.

I was finally able to confidently tell my mocking friends about the Buddha and explain why he was genuinely THE OG enlightened LEGEND and not just a myth or legend.

Facing Loss With Confidence

The Day I Stopped Being Ashamed of Being Buddhist in a Mission School

Years later, when Ah Kong passed away, my perspective had completely changed. At his deathbed, I felt no fear of death. I gently chanted the Metta Sutta to him. It was a stark contrast to the sense of dread I’d felt when Ah Mah passed away.

At Ah Kong’s funeral, I participated wholeheartedly in the chants and rituals. I even managed to arrange for a kind Bhante (monastic) from Sri Lanka Ramaya to share a Dhamma talk beside Ah Kong’s coffin.

Perhaps it was too late for Ah Kong to hear the talk if he had already been reborn, but for my relatives, it was a powerful reminder that we too would pass away—and to urgently live our lives skilfully.

This time, when someone asked me questions about the Dhamma, I could confidently share the meaning behind our practices. There was no more shame—only clarity and gentle certainty.

We chanted not just for Ah Kong, but also to share merits with him and other departed beings. I burned incense, reminding myself that the fragrance of Dhamma spreads through our body, speech, and mind. I lit candles, reminding myself to illuminate my mind with wisdom instead of defilements.

It was a turning point. Buddhism stopped being a label I wanted to hide and became a truth I proudly embraced.

Encouragement for Those Still Struggling

If you’re currently feeling ashamed or hesitant about your Buddhist identity, I want you to know you’re not alone. Often, shame arises from uncertainty from not fully understanding our beliefs, and from feeling isolated without a supportive community.

My experience taught me that every question and every challenge is an invitation to dive deeper into the Dhamma.

Read more. Practice more. Find community support. As your understanding grows, confidence naturally follows.

It’s funny, really, how the shame I once felt eventually pushed me closer to the Dhamma, until I no longer doubted myself or my beliefs.

Today, I say proudly and joyfully, without hesitation:

“I’m a Buddhist.”

And it feels wonderful.

May you grow joyfully on your path.

Wise Steps:

  • Turn challenging questions into opportunities to learn, much like how my friends’ mockery encouraged me to truly understand the Buddha’s teachings.
  • Engage actively in rituals by learning their symbolic meanings; when I learned that flowers represent impermanence, rituals suddenly became meaningful instead of mindless.
  • Share your knowledge with others to strengthen your community’s pride; as I did with my relatives, it can help others rediscover their faith too
Ep 63: A Bhutanese Nun’s Solo Journey Across 12 Mountain Passes ft. Lopen Ani Pema Deki (Ven Emma Slade)

Ep 63: A Bhutanese Nun’s Solo Journey Across 12 Mountain Passes ft. Lopen Ani Pema Deki (Ven Emma Slade)

by | Oct 17, 2025 | Podcast

https://youtu.be/9F3e2GLpRg8

Summary

In this powerful conversation, Buddhist nun and author Emma Slade (Ani Pema Deki) opens up about her mission to help children with special needs in Bhutan through her charity Opening Your Heart to Bhutan. She reveals how her own past trauma as a hostage inspired deep empathy for those with limited autonomy, and how the values of compassion and resilience shape her every step — including her upcoming 37-day solo walk across Bhutan’s mountains to raise funds for their future.

Through stories of extraordinary courage, like a young boy training for the Paralympics, Emma and host Cheryl explore what it truly means to live a Bodhisattva vow, to act with skillful compassion, and to stretch beyond one’s comfort zone in the service of others.


About the Speaker

👤 Lopen Ani Pema Deki (Emma Slade) was born in Kent, and was educated at Cambridge University and the University of London where she gained a First Class degree.  She is a qualified Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) and worked in Fund Management in London, New York, and Hong Kong. 

A deep seated desire to enquire into the deeper aspects of humanity arise following a life- changing business trip to Jakarta, where she was held hostage at gunpoint. She resigned from her financial career and began exploring yoga and meditation and methods of wellbeing with the ultimate aim of turning a traumatic episode into wisdom and conditions for thriving. 

She qualified as a British Wheel of Yoga teacher in 2003 and, over the last 19 years, has run numerous yoga workshops and retreats. Her interest in Buddhism as a science of the mind strengthened after meeting a Buddhist Lama (teacher) on her first visit to Bhutan in 2011. This crucial chance meeting led to her studying Buddhism with this Lama and, eventually, led to her becoming the first and only Western woman to be ordained in the Himalayan Kingdom of Bhutan as a Buddhist nun.


Key Takeaways

True Compassion Requires Action Beyond Comfort

Emma shows how real compassion isn’t passive — it asks us to stretch, act, and often suffer discomfort to truly benefit others.

Resilience and Joy Can Exist Amid Hardship

From Bhutanese communities to a child training for the Paralympics, Emma shares how positivity and resilience can transform suffering into strength.

Skillful Means Matter as Much as Good Intentions

In helping others, empathy and timing are crucial. Emma explains how “checking the cup” — seeing if someone’s mind is open — ensures that compassion lands without harm.


Transcript

Full Transcript

[00:00:00] Emma Slade: We can’t expect ourselves to act as if we’re enlightened beings when we are not yet. Like we drive a Ferrari when we are only capable of riding a bike.

[00:00:09] Emma Slade: It’s just a bonkers expectation.

[00:00:11] Cheryl: If you think you’re not suffering, think again.

[00:00:14] Cheryl: Welcome to the Handful of Leaves Podcast. My name is Cheryl, and today I’m joined by Emma Slade also known as Ani Pema Deki.

[00:00:22] Cheryl: Emma Slade is a Buddhist nun, author and founder of Opening Your Heart to Bhutan, a charity supporting hundreds of children with special needs. She’s now preparing to walk the

[00:00:32] Cheryl: Wild Bhutan Trail, 37 days solo across mountains and valleys to raise funds for these children who inspire her resilience.

[00:00:41] Cheryl: Let’s begin.

[00:00:47] Cheryl: Can you share with us more about your work with the special needs children there?

[00:00:50] Emma Slade: So I set up my UK registered charity Opening Your Heart to Bhutan 10 years ago. And that was very linked to my practice and my integrity as a Buddhist monastic, because I’d mainly studied the teachings and selflessness of compassion.

[00:01:05] Emma Slade: And then certain circumstances arose in Bhutan and really propelled me to help children with special needs in Bhutan or in very difficult circumstances. And it did feel like, okay, you studied all this compassion and you developed.

[00:01:20] Emma Slade: So it felt definitely directly related to my practice. So we’ve helped hundreds of children now in Bhutan. We’ve played a big part in building the first purpose-built special needs school. I was doing this walk across Bhutan for 37 days, to hopefully raise a big amount of money to secure the future of the school and the children in it. It’s 37 days, 12 mountain passes, 6 climate zones, and 403 kilometers.

[00:01:48] Emma Slade: And then after that I’m not, I’m not walking anywhere after that.

[00:01:51] Cheryl: What were some stories making you have such affinity with special needs children?

[00:01:59] Emma Slade: As you know, I was held hostage in that hotel room in Jakarta. And when I was held hostage, I felt so physically trapped and so unable to have any autonomy about my body.

[00:02:11] Emma Slade: And so I think when I encountered a girl in Southern Bhutan 11 years ago or whatever it was, the feeling of the lack of autonomy had a big impact on me.

[00:02:23] Emma Slade: I could empathize, it’s just very humbling to be around children like that. I’ve been very lucky with my opportunities, my skills that seem to be… have come quite easily to me in this life, right?

[00:02:36] Emma Slade: And so when things come easily to us, we tend to not see them very clearly. We don’t think, oh wow, I’ve managed to walk or cross the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. Some of these children that I spend time with, to walk across the kitchen to make a coffee is a big achievement and requires huge patience, requires huge determination. I just have so much admiration for their achievements. They don’t give up. I think I would just go, oh, this is just too hard. I would give up. So there’s something about that that I find very moving and it makes me want to support them. Want to help them achieve things, help them have a meaningful life.

[00:03:16] Cheryl: Would you like to share also one of the achievements that really touches your heart till today?

[00:03:21] Emma Slade: We had a boy in the Eastern school who had a physical condition, which meant he walked on his knees. Just think about that for a moment.

[00:03:29] Emma Slade: We looked into, could we give him some operation? It’s very complicated because a lot of the medical solutions, they would cause other problems. Anyway, he was the most positive charge you’re ever gonna meet. He played cricket on his knees, he was like batting, he would play football on his knees. And somebody came to visit the school, and they were just completely inspired by him. And so they did lots of little videos about him, and the Paralympics people picked it up in Bhutan.

[00:03:58] Emma Slade: And he is now training for the Paralympics to represent Bhutan. His spirit was absolutely incredible. I think most people would just give up on life and be completely depressed, and he was the most enthusiastic, positive, positive child. And now this great opportunity has come his way.

[00:04:17] Cheryl: It makes me so happy to hear that.

[00:04:19] Emma Slade: It just shows you the power of your mindset. His mental suffering, his attitude to his physical suffering could have been just so negative, but due to his response to his physical situation, it was incredible. It’s a big Buddhist teaching right there.

[00:04:36] Cheryl: Absolutely. Yeah. And I recall in our past conversation, we were talking about what do you think make Bhutanese people happy? And you mentioned it was their resilience.

[00:04:47] Emma Slade: Yeah. They are very resilient, very resilient people. They stick together and they support each other when things get tough. And I think that’s part of their resilience as individuals, but also as communities, when things get tough, they really pull together. I think that’s very interesting.

[00:05:05] Cheryl: In the 11 years where you’re working on this school, was there a moment where you felt like actually wanting to give up?

[00:05:14] Emma Slade: Oh, yeah. Many moments. Many moments because we talk about Bodhisattva vows and helping others and what you’re doing when you deliberately try to help others is you’re moving out of a comfort zone. It’s very comfortable just to think about yourself or a couple of people, right? When you deliberately decide to expand that and help others, it’s not going to be easy, and it requires a determination to keep going. It’s much easier just to shrink back and just think about yourself. So yeah, there were many moments because it’s exhausting. Especially fundraising, and it’s very awkward as a person, somebody in monastics, you feel like you’re going, oh, please. Can you give a charity some money? That’s kind of awkward in robes, right? So there’ve been many moments, but I’m really pleased I’ve continued and I can’t really believe what we’ve achieved now, and I’m so grateful that so many people have been inspired by what I’ve done, and they have wanted to support me because if they hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have been able to do all of this.

[00:06:08] Emma Slade: It’s been a big job, but when you help others, when you expand that space of your mind, you can rest easy. A lot of mental peacefulness doesn’t just come from meditating or something.

[00:06:20] Emma Slade: It has a great benefit to the mind from broadening it with compassion.

[00:06:25] Cheryl: I have two questions. When it gets really hard, what is one thing that motivates you to keep going in terms of the charity? And secondly, what motivates you to keep holding onto the Bodhisattva vow?

[00:06:37] Emma Slade: Generally, walking a Buddhist path with all its practices and obstacles and integrity, you know, it is not easy. The other day I was going up a mountain in Bhutan to find my teacher who was quite high up in a mountain in Bhutan and it was so hot and the mountain was so steep and I was trying to get there on time and my legs were really feeling it.

[00:07:02] Emma Slade: And then you just have to remember all the tales of the Tibetan masters, like Milarepa had to do so many things to find their teacher, had to travel so far to gain teachings, etc. So I think generally in the Himalayan Buddhism, which I know the most about. You’ll see that lots of true practitioners actually had to struggle and work with a lot of determination to follow their path.

[00:07:27] Emma Slade: And your second question was not to give up on the Bodhisattva vow. So when we look at the Bodhisattva vow, we have the aspiration to help all beings and achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. Now, there’s nothing to stop your mind wishing that all the time, there’s no obstacle to it other than your own mental poisons, self clinging, distraction, worldly activity, etc.

[00:07:51] Emma Slade: The aspiration. You can never lose as long as you pay a bit of attention to it. Putting that into action is the tricky bit, but as long, even if you are in a stage where it’s hard to apply it, you just draw back and recall that aspiration. So the mind is never losing that connection with the wish to become a Bodhisattva.

[00:08:12] Emma Slade: We take our refuge and Bodhicitta vow every day. And so I think repeating those words, hearing your own voice, say those words out loud, echoing back into your consciousness, that’s important if you want to keep going at it.

[00:00:00] Emma Slade: We can’t expect ourselves to act as if we’re enlightened beings when we are not yet. Like we drive a Ferrari when we are only capable of riding a bike. It’s just a bonkers expectation.

[00:00:11] Cheryl: If you think you’re not suffering, think again.

[00:00:14] Cheryl: Welcome to the Handful of Leaves Podcast. My name is Cheryl, and today I’m joined by Emma Slade also known as Ani Pema Deki.

[00:00:22] Cheryl: Emma Slade is a Buddhist nun, author and founder of Opening Your Heart to Bhutan, a charity supporting hundreds of children with special needs. She’s now preparing to walk the Wild Bhutan Trail, 37 days solo across mountains and valleys to raise funds for these children who inspire her resilience.

[00:00:41] Cheryl: Let’s begin.

[00:00:47] Cheryl: Can you share with us more about your work with the special needs children there?

[00:00:50] Emma Slade: So I set up my UK registered charity Opening Your Heart to Bhutan 10 years ago. And that was very linked to my practice and my integrity as a Buddhist monastic, because I’d mainly studied the teachings and selflessness of compassion.

[00:01:05] Emma Slade: And then certain circumstances arose in Bhutan and really propelled me to help children with special needs in Bhutan or in very difficult circumstances. And it did feel like, okay, you studied all this compassion and you developed. So it felt definitely directly related to my practice.

[00:01:24] Emma Slade: So we’ve helped hundreds of children now in Bhutan. We’ve played a big part in building the first purpose-built special needs school. I was doing this walk across Bhutan for 37 days, to hopefully raise a big amount of money to secure the future of the school and the children in it. It’s 37 days, 12 mountain passes, 6 climate zones, and 403 kilometers. And then after that i’m not, I’m not walking anywhere after that.

[00:01:51] Cheryl: What were some stories making you have such affinity with special needs children?

[00:01:59] Emma Slade: As you know, I was held hostage in that hotel room in Jakarta. And when I was held hostage, I felt so physically trapped and so unable to have any autonomy about my body. And so I think when I encountered a girl in Southern Bhutan 11 years ago or whatever it was, the feeling of the lack of autonomy had a big impact on me.

[00:02:23] Emma Slade: I could empathize, it’s just very humbling to be around children like that. I’ve been very lucky with my opportunities, my skills that seem to be… have come quite easily to me in this life, right?

[00:02:36] Emma Slade: And so when things come easily to us, we tend to not see them very clearly. We don’t think, oh wow, I’ve managed to walk or cross the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. Some of these children that I spend time with, to walk across the kitchen to make a coffee is a big achievement and requires huge patience, requires huge determination. I just have so much admiration for their achievements. They don’t give up. I think I would just go, oh, this is just too hard. I would give up. So there’s something about that that I find very moving and it makes me want to support them. Want to help them achieve things, help them have a meaningful life.

[00:03:16] Cheryl: Would you like to share also one of the achievements that really touches your heart till today?

[00:03:21] Emma Slade: We had a boy in the Eastern school who had a physical condition, which meant he walked on his knees. Just think about that for a moment.

[00:03:29] Emma Slade: We looked into, could we give him some operation? It’s very complicated because a lot of the medical solutions, they would cause other problems. Anyway, he was the most positive charge you’re ever gonna meet. He played cricket on his knees, he was like batting, he would play football on his knees. And somebody came to visit the school, and they were just completely inspired by him. And so they did lots of little videos about him, and the Paralympics people picked it up in Bhutan.

[00:03:58] Emma Slade: And he is now training for the Paralympics to represent Bhutan. His spirit was absolutely incredible. I think most people would just give up on life and be completely depressed, and he was the most enthusiastic, positive, positive child. And now this great opportunity has come his way.

[00:04:17] Cheryl: It makes me so happy to hear that.

[00:04:19] Emma Slade: It just shows you the power of your mindset. His mental suffering, his attitude to his physical suffering could have been just so negative, but due to his response to his physical situation, it was incredible. It’s a big Buddhist teaching right there.

[00:04:36] Cheryl: Absolutely. Yeah. And I recall in our past conversation, we were talking about what do you think make Bhutanese people happy? And you mentioned it was their resilience.

[00:04:47] Emma Slade: Yeah. They are very resilient, very resilient people. They stick together and they support each other when things get tough. And I think that’s part of their resilience as individuals, but also as communities, when things get tough, they really pull together. I think that’s very interesting.

[00:05:05] Cheryl: In the 11 years where you’re working on this school, was there a moment where you felt like actually wanting to give up?

[00:05:14] Emma Slade: Oh, yeah. Many moments. Many moments because we talk about Bodhisattva vows and helping others and what you’re doing when you deliberately try to help others is you’re moving out of a comfort zone. It’s very comfortable just to think about yourself or a couple of people, right? When you deliberately decide to expand that and help others, it’s not going to be easy, and it requires a determination to keep going. It’s much easier just to shrink back and just think about yourself. So yeah, there were many moments because it’s exhausting.

[00:05:42] Emma Slade: Especially fundraising, and it’s very awkward as a person, somebody in monastics, you feel like you’re going, oh, please. Can you give a charity some money? That’s kind of awkward in robes, right? So there’ve been many moments, but I’m really pleased I’ve continued and I can’t really believe what we’ve achieved now, and I’m so grateful that so many people have been inspired by what I’ve done, and they have wanted to support me because if they hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have been able to do all of this.

[00:06:08] Emma Slade: It’s been a big job, but when you help others, when you expand that space of your mind, you can rest easy. A lot of mental peacefulness doesn’t just come from meditating or something. It has a great benefit to the mind from broadening it with compassion.

[00:06:25] Cheryl: I have two questions. When it gets really hard, what is one thing that motivates you to keep going in terms of the charity?

[00:06:32] Cheryl: And secondly, what motivates you to keep holding onto the Bodhisattva vow?

[00:06:37] Emma Slade: Generally, walking a Buddhist path with all its practices and obstacles and integrity, you know, it is not easy. The other day I was going up a mountain in Bhutan to find my teacher who was quite high up in a mountain in Bhutan and it was so hot and the mountain was so steep and I was trying to get there on time and my legs were really feeling it. And then you just have to remember all the tales of the Tibetan masters, like Milarepa had to do so many things to find their teacher, had to travel so far to gain teachings, etc.

[00:07:14] Emma Slade: So I think generally in the Himalayan Buddhism, which I know the most about. You’ll see that lots of true practitioners actually had to struggle and work with a lot of determination to follow their path.

[00:07:27] Emma Slade: And your second question was not to give up on the Bodhisattva vow. So when we look at the Bodhisattva vow, we have the aspiration to help all beings and achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. Now, there’s nothing to stop your mind wishing that all the time, there’s no obstacle to it other than your own mental poisons, self clinging, distraction, worldly activity, etc.

[00:07:51] Emma Slade: The aspiration. You can never lose as long as you pay a bit of attention to it. Putting that into action is the tricky bit, but as long, even if you are in a stage where it’s hard to apply it, you just draw back and recall that aspiration. So the mind is never losing that connection with the wish to become a Bodhisattva.

[00:08:12] Emma Slade: We take our refuge and Bodhicitta vow every day. And so I think repeating those words, hearing your own voice, say those words out loud, echoing back into your consciousness, that’s important if you want to keep going at it.

[00:08:30] Cheryl: Thank you so much for sharing. And it, I think it’s really true that the challenge is really in turning it into action. And for me personally, sometimes I feel, oh, it’s so hard to help people. They don’t wanna be helped.

[00:08:47] Cheryl: And a lot of determination comes in to continue.

[00:08:50] Emma Slade: What would be a situation where you found that?

[00:08:55] Cheryl: So for example, with helping a sibling, where they’re very stuck in unwholesome actions that are unbeneficial for them and having to choose kindness over temper. And having to do that again and again so that I can plant the seeds of wholesomeness.

[00:09:11] Emma Slade: I would say that one has to be skillful with seeing the situation clearly. So if there’s a sibling or whatever who actually really doesn’t want to be dragged towards virtuous activity, and it might even create more resentment between the two people, then one has to be skillful and realize, okay, this is not the right moment, or this is not the right way of saying it.

[00:09:34] Emma Slade: You can always have the prayers, the aspirations for them. But I think it’s usually best to treat another adult as an adult. And if you kind of take the role of telling them what to do and this is best and they’re doing it wrong, people’s threat mechanism in the back part of their brain will be alerted and you’ll become an enemy to them.

[00:09:53] Emma Slade: They’ll get defensive and then they won’t hear. They just literally will go like, like this. Right. So you know, when we talk about skillful means as well as wisdom, when it comes to sharing the Dharma, wishing to help others, we have to be skillful in how we do that.

[00:10:10] Cheryl: Can you share more about what it means to be skillful?

[00:10:12] Emma Slade: So you have to listen well. Use your empathy. Are you pushing something on somebody that they don’t want to hear it? And it might create conflict and disharmony between you.

[00:10:23] Emma Slade: In Buddhist text, we’ll see this example of seeing whether the mind is like an open cup. Open to receiving teachings, whether it’s a cup with a hole at the bottom, so the teachings just go right through. Or whether it’s a cup that’s closed, so nothing’s gonna go in. So I think it’s useful to, when we think about skillfully communicating with others around the Dharma just to see, okay, what kind of cup am I looking at here?

[00:10:49] Cheryl: Oh, that’s a powerful analogy. Always checking to see what’s the status of the cup right now.

[00:10:54] Emma Slade: And they’re not blaming the person for whatever reason the cup is still like this right now. And then also it’s a waste of your energy and time. Also for yourself, are you the kind of student that attends lots of teachings, but then two weeks later you can’t remember anything? It just went through you. So it’s also useful for your own reflections.

[00:11:12] Cheryl: Yeah. Yeah, A lot of times, it all starts from a good place, but when it’s mixed with not the skillful way of executing or doing it, then sometimes the results are, are not good as well.

[00:11:26] Emma Slade: There’s two ways of looking at that from a karmic point of view. If the intention is really clean and pure, then that’s the most important thing, right? We can have a very good intention. And then that intention, comes into the interconnected web of suffering, which is samsara, and it kind of goes a bit wrong. But Buddhism really emphasizes to keep with those clean intentions, keep coming back to them.

[00:11:50] Emma Slade: Until we are enlightened, it may be a bit messy in the application. We have to recognize where we are right now and be understanding of that. And so it’s always worth thinking, “Compared to a year ago, am I dealing with this person more skillfully than a year back?”

[00:12:07] Emma Slade: “I may not be dealing with them perfectly, but is, is it going in the right direction?”

[00:12:12] Emma Slade: We can’t expect ourselves to act as if we’re enlightened beings when we are not yet. Like we drive a Ferrari when we are only capable of riding a bike. It’s just a bonkers expectation, tempting as it is. So we have to see clearly the situation, but also our own situation, our mind now.

[00:12:32] Cheryl: I love that analogy.

[00:12:35] Emma Slade: Reality is such an important place. Our own perception of whether we are suffering or not is quite important, because good qualities — loving kindness, compassion, empathy — will need to arise from how deeply our understanding of suffering is.

[00:12:54] Emma Slade: Whether from knowing it in our own life or observing it in others, and often we will have quite a narrow definition of suffering actually. So some forms of suffering are very obvious and they’re mostly to do with the physical form, right? But when we look at suffering from a Buddhist point of view, it’s much more likely to be a mental state of suffering. Once we are open to a broader definition of suffering, then our relationship with compassion to ourselves and others will definitely deepen and become more profound.

[00:13:27] Emma Slade: The Buddha sometimes he’s called the first psychologist, isn’t he? Because he really looked at suffering as a mental state, arising from our response to things or rising from our understanding of reality.

[00:13:40] Emma Slade: That means that with greater understanding, and study and the courage to really look at that process of what goes on in our mental responses that leads to suffering. That means we can also change it. It’s very important to be able to recognize one’s own state of suffering. It’s not failure, the Buddha said that, we really have to understand the truth of suffering.

[00:14:02] Cheryl: I would love to go back to walking the wild Bhutan trail. How are you preparing?

[00:14:07] Emma Slade: Oh my goodness. Don’t even ask me that. I’m doing a lot of retreat and so mentally I feel I’m very strong. But physically, I’m nearly 59, right? I may be mad. I just have a strong belief that I can do it and I I must do it for the children.

[00:14:23] Cheryl: And, and is there one key message that you would like people who are following your trail to take away?

[00:14:31] Emma Slade: If you are going to help others, you have to stretch yourself outside your comfort zone.

[00:14:36] Cheryl: That’s beautiful. And how, how can we follow with you?

[00:14:40] Emma Slade: You’ll be able to follow me on Facebook and Instagram under Emma Slade. You can look at the charity website openingyourhearttobhutan.com that has the campaign for the walk and, if people can donate the price of a meal or an outfit or a holiday, they can donate. If they want to come and join me, and do some fundraising for it, then they should get in touch.

[00:15:00] Cheryl: And what would success look like for you?

[00:15:02] Emma Slade: Getting to East Bhutan will be the first thing. Getting there alive, not being eaten by a bear and kinda like not falling down anywhere. I’d like to raise a minimum a 100,000 pounds because it will secure the future of the school for over two years. Fundraising is never easy. And right now I know things are quite turbulent in the world, and usually when things are turbulent and uncertain, people become fearful.

[00:15:32] Emma Slade: And when people are fearful, we know from neuroscience, let alone Buddhist studies, that they retract, right? They shrink into themselves. So it takes particular Bodhisattva motivation to keep that wide compassion at times like this, I think.


Resources:

Lopen Ani Pema Deki (Emma Slade)’s website – https://www.emmaslade.com/

Lopen Ani Pema Deki (Emma Slade)’s charity fundraiser – https://www.openingyourhearttobhutan.com/

Facebook/Instagram: @openingyourhearttobhutan_

More about her journey being held at gunpoint: My Path To Becoming A Buddhist | Emma Slade | TEDxSevenoaksSchool


Special thanks to our sponsors:

Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña, Shuo Mei, Arif, Bernice, Wee Teck, Andrew Yam, Kan Rong Hui, Wei Li Quek, Shirley Shen, Ezra, Joanne Chan, Hsien Li Siaw, Gillian Ang, Wang Shiow Mei, Ong Chye Chye, Melvin, Yoke Kuen, Nai Kai Lee, Amelia Toh, Hannah Law, Shin Hui Chong, Dennis Lee

🙏 Sponsor us: https://handfulofleaves.life/support/


Editors and Transcribers of this episode:

Hong Jiayi, Tan Si Jing, Bernice Bay, Cheryl Cheah


Visual and Sound Effects

Anton Thorne, Tan Pei Shan, Ang You Shan


Get connected here:

Telegram Instagram YouTube Facebook