TLDR: Sharing mistakes made as a former Buddhist Youth Leader and how you can avoid repeating it. Explore ways of becoming a better Buddhist youth leader in the Buddhist context.
I used to be a leader of a Buddhist youth group in Malaysia. I took the role as a committee member as I was looking up to the past leaders and I wanted to learn leadership and management skills.
From brilliant to breakdown
Yet 2 years into my committee role, things didn’t turn out well. During the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, I first started my role as a committee member. Not only did the whole team have to face the difficulties of transitioning and running online activities, but our number of participants has dropped significantly.
We tried to come up with “brilliant” online activities to attract people, however, it was little to no avail. This led to low morale and members started to leave without new participants coming in.
As the mismanagement and unwise decisions continued to be made, I left. I became a free bird, free from all the stress, conflict, and tired state of mind. I could enjoy the beautiful scenery of the Danube with the Baroque and Gothic castles surrounding the area as I pursue my studies.
However, deep in my heart, I still strongly connected with the Dhamma (Buddha’s teachings). Hence, after talking to my kalyāṇa-mittas (virtuous friends) and doing some reflection during my summer break in Malaysia, I came up with a few things I would do differently if I could turn back time to take up the responsibility of a Buddhist youth committee member again.
It is something very logical, however, I kept missing this important point by focusing on attracting as many people as possible to make the organisation look successful and to make myself look successful too. Hahaha, so much greed for the wrong thing, so much dukkha (suffering)!
After the first rains retreat, the Buddha instructed the first 60 Arahants to share the Dhamma for the welfare and happiness of the many.
I too would advise myself to continuously reflect upon this and use this as a guide to conduct Dhamma activities in the future, to add value not just for the participants but also to myself.
Let go of Ego, and attachments to fixed views (especially false ones)
Back when I was the leader, I had many ideas that I thought would benefit and be helpful to the youth group. I believed that my ideas were the right way and should be implemented.
However, this led to me being narrow-minded and hard to work with. Therefore, many conflicts and arguments happened between me and the other committee members.
During the recent DAYWA retreat in Malaysia, Sister Sylvia mentioned that when one is attached to ideas or views, dukkha will arise. Looking back, I can confirm that Sister Sylvia is right. I felt very uneasy and unsatisfied with how things were going and it has caused frustrations among the committee members.
If I could be the leader again, I would be more lenient and accepting of other people’s views and ideas as long as the things suggested would add value to people and are aligned with the Dhamma.
Focus on sharing wholesome ideas rather than teachings
Also during the DAYWA retreat, Sister Sylvia advised us to focus on sharing wholesomeness rather than teaching as some aspects of the Dhamma (Buddha’s teaching) may be quite difficult to comprehend.
As I am still on the long journey of practising and understanding the Dhamma, far from being an expert, trying to teach heavy topics, would likely result in teaching the wrong thing.
I would also be more deluded as the false idea would leave an imprint in my mind.
Focusing on sharing wholesomeness would be more suitable because it is easier to understand and we can practise it. These can include an act of kindness, being mindful of our speech and actions, being respectful of our teachers, and upholding the 5 precepts.
Practice with Kalyana-Mittas
Lastly, I want to emphasise this point because not every committee member of a Buddhist group has the intention of practising the Dhamma. However, this does not mean that they have bad intentions, rather their intentions are wholesome too, such as wanting to volunteer for the community.
As the conditions for them to practise the Dhamma (Buddha’s teachings) may not be right yet, expecting and “forcing” them to practise strictly might bring a negative effect.
However, one does not need to feel dejected. You can always find or surround yourself with the right kalyāṇa-mitta (virtuous friend)!
By surrounding ourselves with people having a common interest in practising the Dhamma, we could gain more motivation to practise and learn more consistently. Soon, you may realise that they are also the ones to help us gain deeper insight and experience more “ah-ha!” moments.
While we cannot change the past, we can certainly learn from it and apply those lessons to our present and future endeavours. These are the lessons I will keep with me and the qualities I will cultivate when being a part of any organisation in the future.
Wise steps:
Think about how to add value to people when planning activities.
Let go of our ego and mindset that our ideas are the best, and be open-minded to other people’s ideas
Focus on sharing wholesomeness instead of trying to teach
Never forget to practise the Dhamma (Buddha’s teaching) with your kalyāṇa-mitta
TLDR: We get it; stepping out of your comfort zone might not be everyone’s idea of a good time. However, that leap of faith can unlock a world of new connections, experiences, and deeper reflections.
We’re not talking about just any camp; we’re diving into the unforgettable journey for 13-21-year-olds at Camp Ehi-Passiko (CEP), where Singapore’s youths discover a unique blend of friendship and spiritual growth.
As youth leaders, we reflected on our journey so far and our motivations to continue our path in the Dhamma rooted in our fond memories from CEP.
Organisers from Singapore Buddhist Mission (SBM) during Camp Ehi-Passiko 2022
First Encounters with CEP
Now, when we first heard about CEP, many of us had our doubts. “Will I even make friends?” “I’d rather binge-watch Netflix at home!” “Camps aren’t my thing.”
But guess what? We’d already signed up, so “bopes” (slang for ‘bobian’, Hokkien term meaning it can’t be helped). Off we went, with a mix of curiosity and uncertainty.
Kai Meng, 21, had his reservations: “I wasn’t thrilled about the idea of a camp, but once it kicked off, I was surprised. From the hilarious skits to creative games and the fantastic friends I made, it was a blast. The campfire night was the best, filled with joy and laughter.”
For those of us who’ve attended Sunday school, CEP was an eye-opener. It wasn’t the stiff and solemn affair we expected. It was lively, fun, and brimming with games and activities. What made it truly special?
The people – open-minded, caring, and spanning different age groups. We felt at home despite our diverse backgrounds and camp experiences.
Jun Jie, 18, recalled his first camp: “I was in Secondary One, and the older campers treated me with kindness. During one game, an older camper carried me on his back to complete an activity and to ensure I wasn’t left out. It was heartwarming.”
Jun Jie (18) playing a game with a group mate during CEP in 2019
Meeting People in a Camp Setting
So, why a camp, you ask? Why not just host sharing sessions, games, and bonding activities?
Well, a camp offers a break from the daily grind, allowing us to dive into a few days of pure fun, excitement, and deep connections. The camp’s energy is infectious, and it brings us closer.
The pinnacle? The campfire night, where bonds are strengthened.
Cleonn, 26, shared: “I first encountered CEP when I attended the final-day campfire with my family. It sparked my curiosity, and I wanted to be part of it.”
Kimberly, 24, added: “The campfire night stands out. We sing, dance, and feel the warmth of the group. It’s a space where we can truly be ourselves, free from outside worries. There’s a sense of belonging.”
A camp setting means we spend dedicated time together, working on game objectives and engaging in discussions. We celebrate both small and big victories with laughter and create lasting friendships in just a few days.
Titus, 23, highlighted the value of teamwork and communication in a camp: “Ehi-passiko’s ‘come and see’ is about how Dhammic lessons and real-world experiences are relevant and timeless.”
Even after the camp ends, the friendships continue, and the memories become cherished moments.
Nicholas, 28, cherishes the final night: “It’s heartwarming to share the evening with old and new friends. It’s a unique experience without judgment.”
We didn’t just read suttas or theories; we explored the Dhamma through activities and reflections. This approach allowed each of us to connect with the teachings in our unique way.
Kimberly appreciated this approach: “It contextualises the teachings, allowing personal reflection on life experiences.”
Jun Jie added: “They took into consideration the age group, which ranges from age 13 to 20 plus and with that in mind, I think they know that small kids won’t really appreciate those kinds of long talks or sharing. They incorporated Buddhist knowledge into games and guided us. We also had sharing sessions that made self-reflection meaningful and engaging.”
This personalized approach opened doors to new experiences and insights enabling us to find the Dhamma in our own way. It helped us navigate the challenges of growing up and becoming our authentic selves.
Exploring New Opportunities for Personal Growth
SBM youths participating in a cohesion camp in June 2023
The open and inclusive community gave us opportunities to explore leadership roles, plan events, and run passion projects. These experiences shaped our strengths and weaknesses and set the stage for our future endeavours.
Titus explained how these interactions enriched his life: “It granted me exposure to a wide variety of personalities and characters, and I learned more about Dhammic philosophy. It sparked my curiosity to dig deeper into Buddhism.”
Kimberly found that she could express herself more openly and make intentional decisions: “I became more able to open up to people I may not necessarily be close to.”
Lifelong Bonds and Inspiration
For those who have experienced CEP, it’s all about the people. The lifelong bonds we’ve formed continue to inspire and empower us to give back to our community and continue our spiritual journey.
Jun Jie summed it up: “It’s not just a four-day camp; we stay in touch and build lasting friendships. Some of these friends will be with you for a long time. They provide valuable advice and support.”
So, what’s the takeaway? The CEP experience offers a safe and comfortable space to have fun, grow, and learn together.
Open yourself to new experiences and see what unfolds – you might be surprised at the magic that awaits you.
A sharing session by our youth at SBM (2023)
What is CEP?
Camp Ehi-Passiko (CEP) is a 4-Days-3-Nights flagship camp organized annually by Singapore Buddhist Mission (Youth). Ehi-Passiko, a Pali term translated as “come and see,” represents the core tenet behind all our activities here at Singapore Buddhist Mission.
Our very first CEP kicked off in 1997 and has since been built upon two pillars: fun and fellowship, where we aim to plant the seeds of Dhamma in youths through newly engaging and experiential ways for Buddhist youths of all walks of life to experience and enjoy.
These activities will allow them to be mindful of their actions in their daily lives and realise how the Buddha’s teachings closely relate and are applicable to solving day-to-day obstacles.
This year, Camp Ehi-Passiko 2023: Path of the Warrior will be held from 8-11 December. We look forward to bringing you new experiences and making new spiritual friendships with you!
🏮 Camp dates: 8-11 December
🏮 Camp location: Poh Ern Shih (9 Chwee Chian Rd)
🏮 Age range: 13 to 21 years old
Camp fee*: $80
*Special rate of $30 for:
Past campers
Friends of CEP and SBM
Members of Buddhist clubs and societies
Groups of 4
For more details, visit our website at https://www.sbm.sg/cep2023. For inquiries, contact Cleonn (9233 7322) or Nicholas (9643 3712).
TLDR: Yoga will not save you from aging. As your body ages, don’t take it personally. Reflect & live.
Yoga & back pain
A few years back I was at a dinner with a friend who is six years my senior. She complained about back pain. She said her bones and back was hurting everywhere. My immediate thought was that she wasn’t doing enough stretching or yoga. My belief at the time was that yoga will save me from such ills when I grow old. Fast forward four years today, I texted her to tell her I know how she feels now. I am at an age where I can’t identify with being young, and I also can’t identify with being old (yet). I realised I am stuck between youth and ageing – commonly known as middle-age.
I have never grown old before. I don’t know what it will encompass except the hardening of joints and muscles, weakening bones with various names given to these conditions.
I now realised that I have no control over my body. Being young, we are duped into thinking we have control over our body when we could do more physical work and exercises with it. Now, a lower back pain from sitting too long could affect the knee and pull the upper muscles of your body downward. I guess this is what gravity does. I remember the times in my youth when I had joked about how our skin and muscles will succumb to gravity, without thinking about the gravity of the matter literally.
Being young, we are duped into thinking we have control over our body
The aging disconnect between mind and body
The physical deterioration of the body made me reflect a lot lately. Do I have a phobia of aging?
In terms of health, it pours instead of rain when we grow old. I see my father with his body getting stiffer by the day. He is now in his 80s. I have not heard him complain like my friend or myself about having body pains and aches. He has not accepted being old or being ill and has to suffer from it on an ego level. Many people around my age told me ageing is a number and a mindset. I don’t know if they are denying ageing. I see many elderlies in my estate. I think to myself they probably don’t relate to being old in their minds, except the body telling them so.
The path we all move towards
So, I’m now in the middle of youth and ageing and a bit reluctant to go further to find out what else is in store. It doesn’t seem to affect my friends much though they too feel ageing’s effects. They are older than I am. They are still pretty much drawn into the things offered by the world – such as food, travelling, learning to invest, being quite involved in their daily work.
For me, I am also learning new things to catch up with a world which has changed quickly from when I was growing up – from liberalism to growing nationalism, from analogue to digital. I am not as interested or absorbed by the work I have to do, but just doing what I need to do daily to fulfil my duties. Deep in my mind amidst activities, I constantly think about how I can strengthen my mind on this path we all move towards, which is the end of life.
I’ve read many books on the end of life to past life regressions. From these books, I understand there is nothing to fear about death but fear itself. Many encounters of death related by those who experienced it briefly, said it is a relaxing feeling. I guess it isn’t so much that death bothers me, but the body’s reluctance to listen to my instructions and the discomfort it causes as I age.
Have you seen your one way street?
The truth is, life is a one-way street. We may fall in love with our body and life, but it eventually becomes an unrequited love.
We can’t marry it and sign a contract for it to last forever. For the encounter with death to be relaxing I figured I have to learn to relax with whatever comes my way and in all that I do. I also had to ensure I do nothing to cause regret or guilt that weighs down the mind.
do nothing to cause regret or guilt that weighs down the mind.
There is no assurance in our heart as we have no certainty on what happens after death. I think this is what causes fear. But the mind is a powerful tool. A confused mind tainted with wants and guilt versus a trained mind free from guilt or expectations make a difference in one’s life as well as in death.
I dare not say I have a totally relaxed mind that is free from fear. But I decided that no matter what I do in my daily life, I resolve not to take it seriously or personally. Although I feel I am overly focused in work sometimes more than I would like to. How I work now compared to when I was young is that I no longer think far or have any dreams or expectations in its results. My only focus is to learn to relax and not hold onto anything by having expectations of life or anyone. Interestingly, I am happier now compared to when I was younger despite an ageing body.
Deep in my heart, I understand there is something that is permanent within all of us, that stays stable despite our ups and downs in life. I only hope that whatever time I have, I will be wise enough to spend time knowing this part that is elusive from thoughts and only accessible by mindfulness.
Wise Steps:
View ageing (white hair, wrinkles) as a process to understand rather than challenge
Use ageing as a reminder to seize the ever diminishing resource we have – Time
