#WW: 🧙🏻‍♂️Accepting feedback…Hogwarts style

#WW: 🧙🏻‍♂️Accepting feedback…Hogwarts style

Wholesome Wednesdays (WW): Bringing you curated positive content on Wednesdays to uplift your hump day.

When someone says that our work sucks, how do we feel? How can we better receive feedback when our work ain’t up to someone’s standard? We explore filtering feedback and improving our interactions with others. We also draw wisdom from Will Smith to show the other side of him beyond the slapping incident.

1. Filtering good and bad feedback like Harry Potter

2. Meeting someone for the last time

Filtering good and bad feedback like Harry Potter

Credits: The Tiny Wisdom

What’s going on here

Brian, from The Tiny Wisdom, uses Harry Potter’s interaction with Voldemort to teach us creative lessons on receiving feedback. This fun and creative comic strip covers ways we can better deal with feedback that we may not like. Sometimes, our best might not be enough for the world. Harry Potter teaches us how.

Why we like it

As we navigate through work-life, we often find our work being criticised or scrutinised. This can make us question our self-worth and quality of work. This is a nifty way to figure out whether the feedback should be taken or cast aside.

“When someone told you something about your work — good or bad — you ask them: why?”

Wise Steps

Taking feedback non-personally. We often attach strong ownership to our work and get emotional swings through praise or criticism. Building the feedback muscle makes us take a pause before engaging with the feedback.

Read the Harry Potter comics here

Read more on the science and art of receiving feedback here

Meeting someone for the last time

people standing on white round building during daytime
Unsplash

What’s going on here

Will Smith, a famous actor (also infamous now for the oscar slapping), shares one of the most important lessons he learnt and how he applies that to everyone he interacts with.

Why we like it

This video is short but impactful. It makes you think deeper about the relationships we hold and the way we interact with others.

“Tomorrow is not promised to any of us.”

Wise Steps

Try to greet every being as if it is the last time you meet them. Because tomorrow is not promised never go to bed hating someone or saying nasty things. Had an argument? Internalise, forgive, and re-engage with one another.

Enjoy the video here or below!


#WW: 😪Your empathy is not enough

#WW: 😪Your empathy is not enough

Wholesome Wednesdays (WW): Bringing you curated positive content on Wednesdays to uplift your hump day.

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’s Day! Before we touch on today’s topic, we like to share this awesome event where inspiring ladies from the Buddhist Scene share their stories of nurturing🥺 Check it out here

We often talk about the need for more empathy at the workplace. It is necessary but not enough. We start with empathy as leaders but need to move further into compassion. A compassionate family & workplace can uplift one another through these tough times. We tap on Khandro Rinpoche’s wisdom in learning how to build our compassion

1. As a leader, stop saying “I feel for you”. Try this instead

2. How to develop compassion? A cup of tea is the first step

As a leader, stop saying “I feel for you”. Try this instead

What’s going on here

Havard Business Review article on “Connecting with Empathy and Leading with Compassion” shares how empathetic leadership is not enough. It covers the differences between empathy & compassion and why empathy hijack is a real issue.

Why we like it

The super actionable article is one that you can apply at work/home immediately. We are often stuck when someone tells us that they are going through a hard time. To say “I feel for you” may seem enough for us but inadequate to the suffering person.

Some tips we liked from the article:

  1. Take a mental and emotional step away
  2. Ask what they need
  3. Remember the power of non-action
  4. Coach the person so they can find their own solution
  5. Practice self-care

“Leaders are generally good at getting stuff done. But when it comes to people having challenges, it is important to remember that in many instances people do not need your solutions; they need your ear and your caring presence.”

Wise Steps

Don’t get empathetic hijacked! Take a step back to get a bigger perspective of the situation. That will give you energy and clarity on how to help the person (or figure out that non-action is best!)

Read it here

How to develop compassion? A cup of tea is the first step

white and brown ceramic teapot on wooden tray

What’s going on here

How do we develop compassion for people who ‘don’t deserve it’? How do we even start with ourselves? Khandro Rinpoche, the author of This Precious Life, shares that developing compassion for others starts by reflecting on the goodness we have already received from others.

Why we like it

Khandro Rinpoche shares the opposite of how we expect developing compassion to be. We expect compassion towards others to start with others. She challenges us to go inwards before we develop compassion for others.

This short 4 mins video is music to our ears as we live in a world that is constantly seeking outwards.

“That’s what makes compassion and the practice of compassion difficult. It’s because we think we are an individual, unattached and not in any way related or connected to others”

Wise Steps

The next time someone pours you tea/coffee/bubble tea, reflect on all the positive conditions and people that led you to enjoy that drink.

Enjoy the video!


#WW: 🤭And…I wish I didn’t say that

#WW: 🤭And…I wish I didn’t say that

Wholesome Wednesdays (WW): Bringing you curated positive content on Wednesdays to uplift your hump day.

We often talk about finding love. However, it is rare to talk about how we can maintain love. With Valentine’s Day just flying pass us, how do we maintain relationships? (Clue: It has nothing to do with creating catchy couple hashtags). Here are two stories we have got for you today!

1. How to not screw up your relationship with poor communication

2. Overthinking? This horse’s advice might help you

How to not screw up your relationship with poor communication

purple and yellow abstract painting
Unsplash: Poor Communication

What’s going on here

Nawal, an Instagrammer who talks about neurology, shares four ways we can screw up our relationships by communicating wrongly. Avoid the four horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. Use the antidotes she recommends!

Why we like it

Nawal places the 4 things to avoid in a relationship in a very accessible manner with the solutions to them. We all have tendencies to fall into one of these traps especially when talking about difficult topics in a relationship/friendship. Don’t kick the can down the road and engage mindfully and holistically!

“When the conflict becomes too much to handle, people might fade out of the conversation by turning away, staying quiet, replying with one word, or completely ignoring the partner. This is ineffective because it’s an evasive response where no problems are solved.”

Wise Steps

Be very mindful of any of these horsemen in your relationships. Capture them before they capture you

Read it here or below

2. Overthinking? This horse’s advice might help you

woman covering eyes with hand
Unsplash

What’s going on here

A Grenfell Firefighter shares how he overcomes overthinking by borrowing a quote from The Boy, the mole, the fox, and the horse. He shares how that quote helps us to shift from a huge far-away goal towards our next step.

Why we like it

“Think long term!” can sometimes be jarring advice as we navigate an uncertain world. This Tiktok video helps us to prioritise what matters now and reduce the overthinkers in us.

“We look at how long a journey it is and feel overwhelmed. Instead of thinking of that. Just go right, I am not going to worry about that because that will come”

Wise Steps

Sometimes we tend to tie our self worth to huge outcomes, crippling us from taking the first step. Maybe just start by taking the steps ahead of us!

Enjoy the video here or below!


#WW:📿 A pastor inspires a monk

#WW:📿 A pastor inspires a monk

Wholesome Wednesdays (WW): Bringing you curated positive content on Wednesdays to uplift your hump day.

Famous Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh, who taught Dhamma to many in Europe/USA, has passed. We share one snippet story in his exemplary life. Here is one of his many quotes that he shared towards the end of his life:

“Please do not build a stupa for me. Please do not put my ashes in a vase, lock me inside and limit who I am. I know this will be difficult for some of you. If you must build a stupa though, please make sure that you put a sign on it that says, ‘I am not in here.’ In addition, you can also put another sign that says, ‘I am not out there either,’ and a third sign that says, ‘If I am anywhere, it is in your mindful breathing and in your peaceful steps.”‘

Life is fleeting, may we strive on with diligence!

—-

2 stories for you today!

1.Two religious people meet from different spiritual paths…what happens next?

2.How we grow our empathy at work and at home?

A famous pastor & monk meet. Here’s what happened next.

Geneva, May 1967

What’s going on here

Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen monk, recollects his meeting with Martin Luther King (MLK) and how Thich Nhat Hanh was inspired by the meeting. They eventually signed a statement to recognise the need for peace in Vietnam.

Why we like it

Holy people from other paths can inspire us only if we are open to seeing their goodness. While both are from vastly different spiritual traditions, they connected deeply to the goodness of humanity. This short article summarises why MLK was inspiring and how these two men found similarities between them.

Our enemy is not outside of us. Our true enemy is the anger, hatred, and discrimination that is found in the hearts and minds of man. 

Wise Steps

We can always choose to see ‘us’ in ‘others’. Opening up our receptiveness to other beliefs can open us up to different sources of inspiration

Be inspired here

Side note: We also watched one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s films, read the review here!

Empathy is more than ‘active listening’. Here is what it is and is not.

woman in white long sleeve shirt kissing girl in white long sleeve shirt
Unsplash

What’s going on here

@gwenlynewrites , an Instagram writer, shares 3 lessons on empathy she learned from work-life. She shares how we can integrate empathy into all our conversations and become better people!

Why we like it

It is a short but powerful carousel post on what empathy is and isn’t. We particularly like how some of the preconceived ideas of empathy were debunked by the author such as active listening and ‘putting yourself in someone’s shoe’

“Empathy isn’t just active listening. Empathy is also about appreciation”

Wise Steps

Don’t just active listen and paraphrase what the speaker says. Appreciate them for their courage to share. Don’t assume their situation, be ready to listen and not advise.

Get deeper insights into empathy here!


#WW:🤯 Selfish Meditators & The Comparing Mind

#WW:🤯 Selfish Meditators & The Comparing Mind

Wholesome Wednesdays: Bringing you curated positive content on Wednesdays to uplift your hump day.

Two wholesome content for you today!

We explore a ‘critique’ of meditation in secular settings and how we can break out of our comparing loop.

Meditation & mindfulness makes you more selfish? Really?

woman sitting on land
Cr: Unsplash

What’s going on here

CNA Article covers how mindfulness in secular settings can possibly lead to heightened levels of selfishness and independent-minded thinking. The take-home message? Mindfulness could lead to good social outcomes or bad ones, depending on context.

Why we like it

The author shares that mindfulness and Buddhism cannot be practised in separate worlds. Right Mindfulness is part of the noble 8 fold path. For one to ‘benefit’ from it in the spiritual sense, we need to develop other parts of the path.

If practitioners strive to use mindfulness to reduce suffering, rather than increase it, it’s important to ensure that people are also mindful of themselves as existing in relation with others.

Wise Steps

Even snipers can be taught ‘mindfulness’ of breathing in killing other beings. Know how to ground wholesome qualities in meditation (such as metta) and be familiar with the other aspects of the eightfold path

Click here for the article

Comparison is the thief of joy…so how do we stop comparing?

cr: Unsplash

What’s going on here

Ryan Holiday, a stoic writer, shares quick questions we can use to get over our comparing mind state. Comparison is the thief of joy, how shall we fight that default mind state?

Why we like it

While we intellectually know that comparing ourselves to our peers’ social media profiles is not healthy, it is hard to ignore it. These stoic thought experiments can help us jump out of the spirals of comparisons

“Enough will be never be enough for the person to whom enough is too little”

Wise Steps

When we catch ourselves thinking ‘wow, that person has such a shiok life’, reflect about what you have and how you might envy yourself right now if you weren’t yourself.

Watch the TikTok below or click here!


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