Editor’s Note: This is a two-part series adapted and edited from PJ’s blog that captures his insights and reflections as he walks the path.
TLDR: Why ambition IS holding you back and how to cultivate true contentment. Explore 5 lessons from PJ’s 2 month Rains Retreat
I was on a meditation retreat from 29th September until 6th November 2023 at Jhana Grove. It was especially fruitful during my personal 3-week silent retreat, from 2nd to 23rd October: during those times, there were days when I literally said nothing aloud to anyone. It’s one of the most enjoyable periods in my life.
Here are some of my learnings, which I’m sharing here. Hopefully, these will be useful for some of you.
1. Contentment is the ultimate wealth; Sankhara is the ultimate suffering.
Before this retreat, I’d never really understood the idea of “contentment is the ultimate wealth”: it made no sense to me. If you’re contented, doesn’t that mean you won’t get more? So how can that be the ultimate wealth?
The best way to describe my new understanding is through the analogy of food (whatever is available in the five-sense world) and one’s stomach (mind).
If your stomach is full, no matter how much is offered to you, you can’t stuff more into your stomach: it gets very uncomfortable. Similarly, when you’re content, your mind is “full” and you don’t want anything else. And as long as your mind is “full”, that is wealth.
In contrast, imagine that no matter how much you eat, you will never feel full, but you will always feel hungry. In that analogy, your mind is never “full”.
Another analogy is that of financial credit & debt ratios: if you have equity of $1 and you’ve loaned $6, it’s not different from a billionaire (net worth $1bil) taking out a $6 billion loan. Contentment is removing all debt.
Shortly after my arrival at Jhana Grove, I asked my teacher Ajahn Brahm a question. How do I deal with the sense of ambition?
I’ve constantly struggled between the horns of a dilemma: on the one hand, I really appreciate the peace, calm and happiness from my Buddhist practice. On the other hand, I also have this strong sense of ambition, which manifests as a strong desire & inclination towards planning, doing, thinking, and writing.
Ajahn told me to ask myself “And then what?”, and to play things out to their logical conclusion. “What if my ambition isn’t for myself, but actually for the Buddhist community?”, I asked.
“That’s a bit of a bluff, “ he immediately replied.
“I’m sure every Buddhist community would prefer having one more contented, happy, peaceful and enlightened person. And if there were more contented, happy, peaceful persons, then I would have fewer questions to answer, and can go back to my cave earlier after lunch…” I got the hint, and took my leave. 🙂
What happened over the next few weeks really drove home the point. There were a few meditation sessions which were largely spent with my mind generating will, thoughts, plans, comments, and analyses.
Then, as I practised sense restraint (see next learning point), the thoughts, plans, comments, and analyses died out naturally, to be replaced by moments of stillness, quiet, peace and calm.
The peace and calm was so nice, in stark contrast to the previous stormy thoughts. It felt like I had travelled through the stormy part of a hurricane, only to enter its calm “eye”.
These experiences made me realize that contentment was about not-wanting, and that sankhara (which includes will, thoughts, plans, comments, analyses) was entirely driven by wanting and desire. And not-wanting was so much nicer! And then, suddenly one day, the two sentences from the Dhammapada made sense to me.
One day, after my restlessness had died out and my mind was again filled with calm, I suddenly had this terrifying question: how many lifetimes have I strived, thought, planned, commented, analysed and basically did things, instead of being contented & still? That is still a thought which makes me shudder. The insight has started to turn me away from my thoughts. I’ve also started to place less weight on the value of my thoughts, opinions etc., as there are intrinsic defilements within thoughts and perceptions.
TLDR – contentment is the way to Nibbana. And any kind of willingness to planning is suffering.
2. The suttas aren’t the Dhamma: they point to the Dhamma, but are not the Dhamma itself.
This point can be confusing, but basically, the suttas spell out the Dhamma, but they are NOT the Dhamma. Their relationship with the Dhamma is more like this:
Diagram taken from chat with Venerable Ananda
It’s in the same way that a restaurant menu (or picture) points to the actual food, but is NOT the actual food. Eating the menu wouldn’t really help you get full: similarly, just eating the suttas (and its concepts) will not get you full. Instead, it will just drive you around and around and around in a whirl of conceptual proliferation…
So while the suttas are very important, one needs to have the wisdom to recognise that they are not the same thing as the Dhamma.
The Dhamma needs to be realised within each and everyone of us, and the only way to realise the Dhamma, is through practising the whole Eightfold Path. Reading/listening/asking questions/debating about concepts like dependent origination is potentially a very big and dangerous distraction.
Because many people simply go around in circles, rather than directly realising the Dhamma (i.e. going inwards).
TLDR – Suttas are important, but they are the menu, not the food.
3. Don’t get caught up in the features and details of one’s perceptions, and don’t get dismayed!
A sutta which resonated with me during this retreat was AN4.14 Restraint. This text has parallels in Gandhari and Chinese, so it is probably quite reliable.
The excerpt which resonated with me was this:
“When a mendicant sees a sight with their eyes…When they hear a sound with their ears … When they smell an odour with their nose … When they taste a flavour with their tongue … When they feel a touch with their body … When they know an idea with their mind, they don’t get caught up in the features and details.
If the faculty of sight/sound/smell/taste/touch/mind were left unrestrained, bad unskillful qualities of covetousness and displeasure would become overwhelming.
For this reason, they practice restraint, protecting the faculty of sight/sound/smell/taste/touch/mind, and achieving its restraint. They don’t get caught up in the features and details. If the faculty of sight/sound/smell/taste/touch/mind were left unrestrained, bad unskillful qualities of covetousness and displeasure would become overwhelming. For this reason, they practice restraint, protecting the faculty of sight/sound/smell/taste/touch/mind, and achieving its restraint. This is called the effort to restrain.“
But why should we practice sense restraint? Another sutta SN46.6 To Kundaliya (with a Chinese parallel) explains this:
Buddha: “The benefit the Realized One lives for, Kuṇḍaliya, is the fruit of knowledge and freedom.”
Kundaliya: “But what things must be developed and cultivated in order to fulfill knowledge and freedom?”
Buddha: “The seven awakening factors.”
Kundaliya: “But what things must be developed and cultivated in order to fulfill the seven awakening factors?”
Buddha: “The four kinds of mindfulness meditation.”
Kundaliya: “But what things must be developed and cultivated in order to fulfill the four kinds of mindfulness meditation?”
Buddha: “The three kinds of good conduct.”
Kundaliya: “But what things must be developed and cultivated in order to fulfill the three kinds of good conduct?”
Buddha: “Sense restraint. And Kuṇḍaliya, how is sense restraint developed and cultivated so as to fulfill the three kinds of good conduct? A mendicant sees an agreeable sight with their eye.
They don’t desire it or enjoy it, and they don’t give rise to greed. Their mind and body are steady internally, well settled and well freed. But if they see a disagreeable sight they’re not dismayed; their mind isn’t hardened, dejected, or full of ill will. Their mind and body are steady internally, well settled and well freed.”
So it is clear that sense restraint is necessary for liberation. And, when sense restraint is done right, it is actually pleasurable: the mind isn’t dismayed, hardened, dejected or full of ill will.
This is particularly important to note, because many people take a “hear no evil, see no evil, say no evil” approach to sense restraint, using a lot of willpower and force. They also often get dismayed: “Why am I craving this so much??” and don’t realise that they have taken the wrong approach to sense restraint.
TLDR – Don’t grasp at the features and details of whatever you perceive. Just acknowledge and let go.
4. The fuel for restlessness is focusing on one’s restlessness. Focusing on one’s settled mind starves future restlessness (SN46.51)
There is the unsettled mind. Frequent irrational application of mind to that fuels the arising of restlessness and remorse, or, when they have arisen, makes them increase and grow.
There is the settled mind. Frequent rational application of mind to that starves the arising of restlessness and remorse, or, when they have arisen, starves their increase and growth.
There is tranquility of the body and of the mind. Frequent rational application of mind to that fuels the arising of the awakening factor of tranquility, or, when it has arisen, fully develops it.
Taken in totality, this means that after meditation, it is less important to focus on one’s restlessness, and much more productive to focus on the moments of peace (no matter how short!) one experienced in the meditation.
TLDR – Water your flowers, not your weeds.
5. Listen and adjust, all the time.
This was a personal learning. At the start of my retreat, I decided that, instead of forcing myself and using will, I would instead just play by ear, and just continuously listen to my body and mind, and adjust to its needs (not wants!), all the time. It was a form of applying mindfulness and kindness.
Quite often, I would sit and my body would end up feeling slightly tense (especially around my lower spine, back and neck). In the past I would “tough it out” by telling myself to ignore the discomfort, to “let it go”… and end up being in even more discomfort!
This retreat, I would note the discomfort, and instead of toughing it out, I would then gently and subtly adjust my posture a little bit. And every day, I was listening and watching my own mind and body, seeing what both needed.
There was one day when I struggled with meditation: I woke up late and really struggled with sleepiness the whole day. In the evening, as I was writing in my diary, I realised I was extremely tired: so I went to bed at around 6pm, and just slept. The next day, everything felt normal.
In retrospect, I wonder if my body was not feeling well that day, and I had listened to my body’s needs: as a result, I didn’t fall sick the whole five weeks, even though I was in close contact with a few Covid patients in the last week.
TLDR – be kind to your mind and body, at every moment
TLDR: Some of us take to meditation like fish to water and, at some stage, want to further stretch that mindfulness muscle through formal instruction, an extended retreat, and group practice. This article contains a list of short meditation retreat options (a day or less) for anyone looking to explore their practice or to find a meditation community.
Before we go on – if you’re a beginner to meditation who is figuring out questions such as ‘Why meditate?’, and ‘What is Buddhist meditation?’ – we have the perfect article for you! Meditation 101 contains a toolkit of FAQs, apps, and other resources that are tailored to someone just starting out on their meditation journey!
For those with meditation experience, we’d like to offer a reflection by ‘Yellow Pages Monk’ Ajahn Jayasaro:
“Why meditate? In fact, other questions should precede this one. Why take refuge in the Triple Gem in the first place? If one has true faith in the wisdom and compassion of the Buddha, what choice is there other than to follow the path that he revealed to us?
The Buddha taught the best way to live our lives as human beings. The teachings are a call to action, not inaction….”
1. JOYFUL GARDEN SANGHA: DAY OF MINDFULNESS (Last Sunday of each month, 10am – 4pm, Open to all)
Image: Google
About Day of Mindfulness by Joyful Garden Sangha
Day of Mindfulness (DOM) is a mini mindfulness retreat in the tradition of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh and Plum Village, facilitated by Joyful Garden Community of Mindful Living (Joyful Garden Sangha). It is organised usually on the last Sunday of each month. Occasionally Joyful Garden Sangha may host special events and practices too.
When an event is scheduled and open for registration, you will see it on this page. You can also join their mailing list, or follow on Facebook to be notified. Seats are filled rather quickly.
What to expect
The practice of moment-to-moment awareness in a group setting. Discover how the application of mindfulness to eating, moving, singing, listening, and more, could transform your everyday experience.
What to pack
A vegan lunch of your own, and a jacket or scarf in case it gets cold for you.
2. DAYWA: DAY OF PRACTICE A.K.A DOPE (First Saturday afternoon of each month – Open to Commune Members only)
Photo: DAYWA
About Day of Practice (DOPE) by DAYWA
The DOPE retreat format was created by organisers behind the Dhamma Assembly for Young Working Adults (DAYWA), in order to give its members a taste of what a formal retreat could be like. The retreat format adopts many practices from the Thai Forest tradition and also encourages sharing and learning between practitioners from the various Buddhist traditions.
Recommended for: Meditators interested to explore the Thai Forest practice, and to connect with other youthful practitioners.
How to register
This event is open to those in the DAYWA Commune Members only i.e. you will need to have attended at least 3 DAYWA events in a year, to join the Commune and sign up for DOPE practice.
What to expect
Chanting in Pali, reading and discussion of Early Buddhist Texts, guided and non-guided sitting meditation practice.
What to pack
Bring your own meditation cushion if you would prefer to use that. Lunch is usually organised before the practice commences, it would be optional to join for that.
3. BUDDHIST FELLOWSHIP: MEDITATION TEACHINGS AND EVENTS (Monthly line-up)
Image: Buddhist Fellowship Website
About meditation teachings at Buddhist Fellowship (BF)
Buddhist Fellowship’s (BF) weekly Sunday Services regularly feature meditation as part of its programme, often in the Theravadin traditions and with reference to early Buddhist texts such as the Annapannasati Sutta. BF also organises meditation courses and retreats with visiting monastics from time to time, so do look out for that.
Recommended for: Meditators looking to explore Theravadin traditions and early Buddhist texts.
How to register
Stay tuned to Buddhist Fellowship’s social media, such as Facebook and Telegram, for announcements.
What to expect
Experienced monastics and lay practitioners sharing their own practice and offering guided meditation experiences.
Palelai Buddhist Temple’s resident monastic community (Sangha) leads two meditation sessions on a daily basis at the Meditation Hall on the 3rd floor of the main Chedi building (go up the staircase from the central Arahants’ Hall).
Recommended for: Meditators who are familiar with Thai Forest practices.
How to register
No need to register.
What to expect
No instructions are provided, meditators of all levels are welcome to join the sit quietly behind the Sangha. A short blessing will be given at the end of the session.
What to pack
Simply bring yourself, with an open heart and mind.
5. DHARMA DRUM SINGAPORE: MEDITATION GROUP PRACTICE (Weekly, Wednesdays & Sundays)
Image: Dhamma Drum Singapore
About meditation group practice at Dharma Drum Singapore
Dharma Drum Singapore (DDS) promotes Chinese Chan Dharma Drum Buddhism based on the principles and methods of Dharma Drum Mountain founded by Master Sheng Yen. DDS regularly offers meditation group practice on Wednesdays evenings (7.30pm – 9.30pm) and Sunday mornings (9.30am – 12.00pm) that are open to the public, and conducted in Mandarin Chinese instruction.
Recommended for meditators who are interested in Chinese Buddhism and detailed meditation instruction.
How to register
Registration for each practice session opens 1 week before. Dharma Drum Singapore uses the Eventbrite system. If you use the Eventbrite App on your phone, registration will be easier and faster.
Please find on this page the link to register for the specific session that you are attending.
Please do not attend the session if you are feeling unwell. If you are unable to attend, you can also cancel your Eventbrite order to make room for others.
Simply bring yourself, with an open heart and mind.
6. KONG MENG SAN PHOR KARK SEE A.K.A. BRIGHT HILL TEMPLE: SHORT-TERM TEMPLE STAY, SELF PRACTICE, MEDITATION COURSES (Short-term temple stay available to Males only)
Image: Forum Architect which designed the new meditation hall
About short-term temple stays at Kong Meng San Phor Kark See
Amid the chaos of today’s hectic pace, have you taken a moment to calm your inner thoughts? If you desire a deeper understanding of yourself and wish to embark on a journey of self-discovery, consider immersing yourself in a short-term temple stay at Kong Meng San Phor Kark See a.k.a Bright Hill Temple. This allows you to embrace a peaceful, detached lifestyle, allowing yourself to explore the deep corners of your mind.
Recommended for: Meditators of all levels, given the variety of formats.
How to register
For self practice at the Prajna Meditation Hall, there is no need to register.
For Relaxation & Mindfulness Meditation courses, please follow the page or write in to:
For short-term temple retreats, these are open to healthy Singapore male citizens, between the ages of 17 and 60, that are able to commit to at least one month to a year of retreat. Detailed application instructions here.
What to expect
Kong Meng San Por Khark See Monastery offers a zen and peaceful environment to deepen your cultivation.
The short-term temple stay programme is currently being refined – enquire via email to find out more.
The Relaxation & Mindfulness Meditation courses are a helpful introduction to body scan relaxation techniques. You may access a preview of the type of guided meditation provided by Venerable Kwang Sheng here.
What to pack
A jacket or shawl, as one may find the air conditioning strong at certain venues in the monastery.
7. ONLINE RETREATS & OTHER RESOURCES
In the post-Covid era, online retreats have become a popular option offered by local and overseas monasteries, who have adapted their technology to broadcast teachings and retreat instructions.
Here are some online channels which you may be interested to follow to find out more:
As our list of retreat options is non-exhaustive, for each Buddhist tradition and/or temple that you feel drawn to, it is a good idea to check out their website and/or social media to find out if they are offering formal instruction or group practice settings.
TLDR: When getting sufficient sleep, the following 3 practices helped me to almost entirely overcome drowsiness in sitting meditation: (1) keeping my eyes open, (2) using mala beads, and (3) silently or audibly reciting the Buddha’s name, the names of the Triple Gem, or the Buddha’s qualities.
My Past: Frequent Drowsiness Made It Hard To Stick to a Regular Sitting Meditation Routine
After discovering Buddhism during my university days, I was enamoured by the wisdom of the teachings, but one thing frequently hindered my sitting meditation practice.
For many years, my sitting meditation was beset by frequent bouts of overwhelming drowsiness. On many days, unless especially well-rested, I usually fall wholly or partially asleep after a few minutes. Surprisingly, I often felt drowsier during sitting meditation than afterwards when trying to fall asleep.
For many years, this drowsiness hindered my attempts to stick to a sitting meditation routine since I would nod off after a few minutes.
Change 1: Keeping Eyes Open During Sitting Meditation
Learning this, during my sitting meditation, I let my eyes rest on a point on the wall, floor, corner, or dim light source such as a lamp. This helped to reduce some drowsiness, although it wasn’t until combining this technique with the other two techniques below that things significantly improved.
Change 2: Mala beads To Help Focus
Wanting to explore Buddhism more deeply but having limited options where I lived, I resolved to study in India to learn more about the subcontinent where Buddha was born.
After much planning and financial saving, I hopped on a plane and the adventure began. My time in India was extremely insightful and life-changing. Furthermore, while exploring Dharamsala, India, the ubiquitous mala beads for sale there constantly called my attention to them. Having purchased a string of 108 beads, the next phase of my journey to overcoming drowsiness began.
As Master Sheng Yen teaches and I have experienced:
“…the deliberate action of the fingers moving the beads may serve as a quick reminder to focus on the recitation, should the mind stray. The functions of reminding and counting complement each other…”
At that time, I used the mala beads with a Tibetan mantra. As I used the mala beads more and more with the mantra, I found that the mala beads helped my mind to stray less often. I also found that the sensation of mala beads on my fingers was easier to focus on, and more stable than the breath, which was more subtle and harder for me to follow.
Moreover, even if trying to focus on breathing, the beads were still helpful by providing an additional anchor point.
If my attention strayed from the breath, it could drift to the sensation of touching the beads instead of wandering off.
As I continued to practice the mantra with the mala beads, I further discovered that the fingers’ movement also helped keep my mind more active, especially if moving them quickly. Between the improved focus and more active mind, my drowsiness further diminished.
Change 3: Silent or Audible Recitation of The Buddha, The Triple Gem, or His Qualities to Rouse Energy and Grow Faith
In SN46.51, the Buddha provides another helpful piece of advice:
And what is the lack of food for the arising of unarisen sloth & drowsiness, or for the growth & increase of sloth & drowsiness once it has arisen? There is the potential for effort, the potential for exertion, the potential for striving. To foster appropriate attention to them: This is lack of food for the arising of unarisen sloth & drowsiness, or for the growth & increase of sloth & drowsiness once it has arisen.
Although keeping my eyes open and using mala beads with a mantra had been helpful, a piece was missing.
For many years I had difficulty rousing energy reliably, which as mentioned above is important to reduce and prevent drowsiness.
Regarding modern teachers, I discovered the Thai Forest teacher Ajahn Anan’s teaching about mindfulness of the Buddha:
Knowing that it is hard, we need to firmly set sati to the task of guarding the heart and bringing it to calm. If we are going to practice samādhi in this way, we need to keep “Buddho” constantly with us.
Whether we are standing, sitting, walking, lying down, or whatever else we might be doing, we have to keep the meditation word “Buddho” always in the heart.
As time went by and I learned and experienced more and more joy and the other benefits, my faith in Buddhism began to grow and grow, which consequently fueled the arising of mental energy and exertion during sitting meditation, overpowering the drowsiness.
What Things Are Like Now
Having practised like this, combining all 3 of these changes for over a year, although I sometimes still feel drowsiness, it doesn’t overwhelm me like it did before.
Now that sitting meditation contains so much more alertness, energy, and joy, maintaining a regular sitting meditation routine has become much easier and more enjoyable.
Keep your eyes open and stare at a point on the wall, floor, corner, or dim light source such as a lamp.
If doing a type of meditation that can be counted, including breath-counting or mindfulness of the Buddha, try using mala beads. See these mala bead usage instructions from Dharma Drum for more information on how to use them.
Find a meditative practice that rouses energy and joy for you.
This article is the final part of two instalments, edited from Sister Sylvia Bay’s Dhamma talk fortheGlobal Buddhist Conference in December 2023. Part I can be found here
TLDR: Having discussed the challenges of sustaining mindfulness, Sister Sylvia explores two key conditions to cultivate continuous mindfulness: contentment and kusala (Pali translated as ‘skillful’) mind states.
Mindfulness is a mental state, no different from those you are more familiar with such as anger, pride, fear, worry, joy, faith, gratitude, compassion and so on.
Like all mental states, it will arise in the presence of the right and necessary conditions.
“When this exists, that comes to be; with the arising of this, that arises. When this does not exist, that does not come to be; with the cessation of this, that ceases.”(SN 12.62 Uninstructed).
What does this verse mean? The presence of mental conditions will lead to other mental states arising.
If I ask you to feel fear right now, you may not be able to do it.
Because you are surrounded by people, in bright lighting and loud noises. The ‘necessary’ conditions for fear to arise are simply not there.
Perhaps you can still trigger some fear if you successfully ‘talk’ and convince yourself that something is frightening here. But even then, whatever smidgeon of fear you can summon with herculean effort will not last.
So what are the essential conditions for our mind to stay mindful?
Let’s flip it around and ask ourselves a different question, ‘what are the things that cause us to be so distracted?’ It goes back to what we had earlier said: kāma, bhava, vibhava taṇhā (craving for stimuli of the external and internal world).
Therefore, it makes sense that a key and necessary condition for mindfulness to arise with spontaneity and ease, must be some kind of ‘withdrawal’ from the shiny, busy, colourful world.
I’m not talking about becoming a hermit and retreating to the high mountains or the deep forests. That is escapism and may not work if your mind still has a yearning (remember bhava/vibhavataṇhā).
I’m talking about moderation and contentment. We can’t be mindful of here and now, or of just being, when the mind is full of ‘stuff’.
What stuff? The ‘stuff’ out there and the thoughts we construct. As long as we keep allowing ourselves to just indulge, enjoy, give free reign to desires and chasing, we are feeding the subconscious habit of craving.
The more craving we have, the more thought construction there will be, and the more elusive is mindfulness. Just look at our own thoughts. They are all driven mostly by shades of desire and craving.
Moderation and contentment will mean much less thought constructions. Therefore, if we are serious about cultivating mindfulness, we must learn to make do and be more easily content.
As Buddha had taught, learn to observe “body, feelings, mind and Dhamma” “keen, aware, and mindful, (and) rid of covetousness and displeasure for the world.” (AN 4.274)
We learn not to hanker after or seek solace in external sensuous objects: our handphones, personal electronic devices, music, computer games, and food. We learn to trim our to-do lists.
Learn not to keep filling our life with activities. Learn not to need constant company and chit-chats. Learn to be comfortable with solitude and quiet alone time. Learn to be comfortable doing nothing.
I am not talking about being a couch potato and while away time fermenting in front of the TV, binging away. I really do mean not doing anything and just being aware, mindful of the body, breathing, and being content.
Another condition helpful for effortless mindfulness is presence of kusala (wholesome/skilful) mental states.
The regular mind is typically filled with the more akusala (unwholesome/unskilful) types of mental states, underpinned essentially by lobha (greed) and/or dosa (anger). [We shall set aside moha (delusion) because it is less in your face so we are usually not as aware of their disruptive impact.]
Akusala mental states are powerfully gripping and trigger strong emotions which make experiences memorable and unforgettable.
Lobha is insidious: while less intense than dosa, its effects are lingering. You try forgetting that delicious plate of char kway teow. The unpleasant sensation of longing may be mild, but it’s persistent. It’s like a mild itch in your heart that constantly annoys and won’t go away.
Dosa is emotionally more impactful and hugely unpleasant but once it hits a high, the diminishing effects are obvious. As long as you don’t inject fresh narratives to fuel the anger, high emotions will fade.
Nonetheless, once your mind is seized by these two mental drivers, equanimity and mindfulness are lost.
In contrast, kusala mental states are very pleasant, calming, steady, and settling. All kusala mental states will yield some measure of mindfulness. The stronger the kusala mental states, the steadier and more settled the mind.
What are some of these supportive kusala mental states?
Faith – relatively easy to cultivate with a simple ‘ritual’ performed with understanding and mindfulness.
Contentment and gratitude – both mental states are symbiotically intertwined. When one is content, one feels grateful. With gratitude, one feels joy.
Other kusala mental states include kindness and compassion, love, friendliness, generosity, and so on.
All powerful kusala mental states will trigger the release of wonderful feel-good neurochemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, endorphin and oxytocin that actually help with settling the mind and boosting mindfulness.
Wise Steps:
To experience effortless mindfulness in daily life will require fundamental shifts in our habits and choices.
We must learn to moderate desires, become more easily content, become kinder, be more giving, be warmer and nicer
When the 2Bs (be content, be kusala) are a natural part of you, your mind will settle into a general sense of effortless mindfulness.
Editor’s Note: This article is the first part of two instalments, edited from Sister Sylvia Bay’s Dhamma talk for the Global Buddhist Conference in December 2023.
TLDR: Mindfulness is an elusive aspect of Buddhist practice that many beginners find it hard to nail. Sister Sylvia acknowledges the challenges and offers three explanations on its impediments.
Arousing mindfulness in itself is not that difficult. Most of us, even when we were new to it, probably would not have much difficulty. The challenge, if any, is sustaining mindfulness.
In this article, my reference to mindfulness is both the practice of mindfulness in a dedicated meditation sitting as well as mindfulness in daily life.
The Difficulty of Mindfulness
First, mindfulness in a meditation sitting: we sit, and focus our attention on a meditation object e.g., breathing. We settle mindful attention on the breathing. Mere moments later, attention drifts.
We will try again. Focus.
Bring mindfulness to the breathing and again, attention drifts.
Random thoughts intrude. Sounds beckon.
We experience bodily discomfort. Mindful attention just does not stay put. Sounds familiar? Should this persist, we will feel discouraged and demoralised.
The more we try, the more dukkha we feel. A ‘meditation’ sitting becomes a vicious cycle of aspirational hope, valiant effort, disappointment, dejection, maybe apprehension (about sitting again), even aversion.
We may even give up and we have regrets.
Next, mindfulness in daily life – that is even harder.
We may experience sporadic and periodic momentary mindfulness in daily life: five minutes here, six minutes there.
Unfortunately, for the most times, it’s just that, sporadic and periodic.
Why is mindfulness so hard?
I offer three explanations. You may have your own unique circumstances, but the following are the generic ones.
1) Mindfulness is not a habit for the mind to stay put
Our regular mind is easily distracted. I suspect this tendency is genetic. It is programmed into our genes to make sure that humans survive as a species and proliferate. Our genes are not particular whether or not we are happy but we must live on and multiply.
So subconsciously, we are constantly on the lookout for ‘danger’. We may no longer be living in a dangerous world, but our genes are still stuck in primeval times. (That’s why we are still afraid of the dark and we are easily startled by loud and sudden unexplained sounds.)
Subconsciously, we are sensitive to perceived ‘threats’ and are primed for fight or flight.
The question is what are these threats in our time and space?
Here in Singapore, a modern, economically advanced, stable, secure and peaceful land, where is the threat?
‘Threats’ are perceived. They may or may not be real but if your mind says they are there, they are.
In our world, ‘threats’ are anything that we perceive might diminish our pleasure, eat into our resources (time, money, space), and undermine our sense of well-being. At the same time, we are also on the perpetual lookout for ‘gains’, for the opportunity to consume, improve and enjoy more.
Hence, our mind could not stay put for long. It must constantly guard against threats (unpleasant and/or painful experiences) and seek out opportunities (for pleasurable and pleasant experiences).
Mind will flitter from sensual objects to sensual objects in the external world, drawn or repelled by sights, sounds, smell, tastes and touch. Then it drifts inwards to review, replay, plan and construct.
This random zig-zagging and flipping-flopping between worlds is incessant. While seemingly draining, this is what keeps us alive and going, beyond death, into the next birth. This is saṃsāra.
This is the habitual reality of our regular, untrained and uninstructed mind.
Some of us are so used to it that we cannot even begin to conceive how a mind can stop zipping and settle quietly into the present, content with the here and now.
2) Too many desires
Now, the first explanation and the second are not the same. 1 is genetic. 2 is conditional arising and habits built over time.
Most of us have consciously or subconsciously developed and nurtured a constant stream of unrelenting wants and desires. We have an enormous appetite. Every new delightful or painful experience feeds desires and breeds more wants.
The Buddha had broadly categorised the world’s vast spread of infinite desires into kāma taṇhā (craving for sensual pleasures), bhava taṇhā (craving for becoming) and vibhava taṇhā (craving for non-becoming).
Kāma taṇhā is the craving for the world of pleasurable senses (i.e., world without pain and unpleasantry): beautiful sights, alluring sounds, mesmerising scents, mouth-watering tastes, comforting and soothing touches.
Bhava (becoming)and vibhava (non/not becoming)taṇhā – they refer to our internal mind-made world: the mental constructs of the past and plans for the future.
When we want to relive an experience, it is bhava taṇhā. When we want not to relive an experience or in extreme and rare cases when we wish for life to end, it is vibhavataṇhā. Our world within can be even more ‘real’, more convincing, more gripping than the world without.
All these taṇhā are intensely distracting.
The Mind cannot settle and mindfulness cannot arise when our mental cauldron is bubbling with desires.
The more intense the desire, the hotter the cauldron boils and churns. The more crowded that cauldron, the more clouded the mind. How can the mind settle? Mindfulness does not stand a chance.
This third explanation on the topic is about lacking correct knowledge of how the mind works and how mindfulness arises.
Many of us hold assumptions about what is ‘correct’ mindfulness practice. We may think that our struggle is about insufficient practice, not enough experience or not knowing the right steps to trigger mindfulness.
Let’s explore two of the more common wrong views.
a. A common wrong view is we do not have enough practice and/or experience.
If we think our problem is this, our ‘solution’ is likely to be to ‘sit more, sit often, sit longer’.
We grit our teeth and force the mind to stay put on the object of focus. If the mind persists in drifting, we double down on concentration effort and maybe smack the mind a bit to force compliance. Stay up the night, if necessary. Sit on a hard floor with no back support.
Is this assumption correct? Well, yes and no.
Yes: certainly developing a daily habit of sitting at a particular time and a particular spot can wire the brain to get itself ready for a dedicated sitting.
At the anointed time and space, you feel a draw to the meditation space. If your meditation object is breathing, and you are familiar with it, that familiarity can spill over to daily life; mindfulness will arise spontaneously whenever you happen to be aware of breathing.
But it can also be a NO because time (when you sit) and space (where you sit) is just form. By themselves, they are not enough to overcome some of the mental conditions that vex many a regular mind such as worry, restlessness, agitation, uncertainty and scepticism, regrets, distractions and so on and so forth.
In fact, if despite your best efforts, sustained and effortless mindfulness remains elusive, you will end up frustrated, demoralised, dejected, and even helpless. This is ‘spiritual’ dukkha (as opposed to mundane and material dukkha).
You may spiral into a vicious cycle of trying to sit, being disappointed, feeling stressed and eventually giving up. This is when people start to sit less, from daily effort to alternate days, to only on the weekends, and eventually only at retreats.
b. Another common assumption why sustained mindfulness is elusive for us is we don’t know the ‘right steps’.
If you think so, you are likely to say, we need to get the SOP (Standard Operating Principles) right. We seek out meditation masters to learn ‘properly’.
We obsess about when to sit (morning, evening, before sleep, after meals), where to sit (on the floor, on a chair, in a quiet room, in meditation hall), how to sit (full lotus, half lotus, no lotus) and where to park mindful attention (on tip of the nose, before the face, on the stomach, on the chest).
We seek out renowned meditation teachers with the hope that they can teach us something special to steady the mind and settle mindfulness. We go for endless retreats because it is only there that we can focus and experience mindfulness.
These are all good to have but not essential.
If the mental conditions are right, the mind will naturally steady and settle; it will be a breeze. There is no need for extraordinary efforts.
Wise Steps:
Recognise that our minds are distracted by default;
Understand the three different types of cravings and how they arise in our minds; and
Check our practice for wrong views on cultivating mindfulness.
