6 Inspiring Female Buddhist Teachers You Need to Know This IWD

6 Inspiring Female Buddhist Teachers You Need to Know This IWD

For centuries, male Buddhist teachers have had a more outsized reach, often leaving the voices of female teachers in the background. Many inspiring female Buddhist teachers have profoundly shaped modern Buddhism with their wisdom and compassion. On this International Women’s Day, we celebrate seven remarkable women—Pema Chödrön, Venerable Thubten Chodron, Sylvia Bay, Venerable Canda, Ayya Khema, and Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo—whose teachings empower practitioners worldwide.

While the Buddha himself championed women’s potential for enlightenment, opportunities for female monastics and lay teachers have often been limited. Despite these challenges, remarkable women across different Buddhist traditions have emerged as influential voices, offering guidance and insight to modern practitioners.

Below is a curated playlist and booklist of seven prominent female Dhamma teachers who are readily available on YouTube! While we know that there is an non-exhaustive list of female Buddhist we have scoped this article to capture the female teachers with a corpus of available talks & resources in the english format.

For local female Sangha, you can check out Salay Sujata’s article here and Venerable Jian Xin’s content here. We were not able to find structured public playlists of talks for other local Sangha. Do drop us a holler if there is amazing female Buddhist teacher we missed!

Pema Chödrön: A Beacon of Compassion

Pema Chödrön is a renowned American Buddhist nun and teacher in the Tibetan tradition. Fully ordained in 1981, she became one of the first American women to take full monastic vows. Her teachings focus on embracing uncertainty, transforming suffering, and cultivating compassion, making them accessible even to those unfamiliar with Buddhism.

Through bestselling books like When Things Fall Apart and The Places That Scare You, Pema has guided millions through life’s difficulties with practical tools for mindfulness and emotional resilience. Her emphasis on staying present amidst discomfort has made her a beloved spiritual mentor for people of all backgrounds.

Why she inspires us: She teaches us that suffering is not something to run away from but an opportunity for growth and awakening.

Her YouTube talks can be accessed on various channels like sounds true or by searching her name.

Venerable Thubten Chodron: Integrating Buddhism and Psychology

Venerable Thubten Chodron is an American-born Tibetan Buddhist nun who ordained in 1977. She is known for her ability to explain complex Buddhist concepts in a relatable and down-to-earth manner, connecting the dots between traditional teachings and contemporary psychology.

Ven. Chodron’s work spans interfaith dialogues and collaborations with scholars, as seen in Buddhism: One Teacher, Many Traditions, co-authored with His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Her teachings focus on applying the Dhamma to everyday life, making her an inspiration for practitioners facing difficulties in relationships, work, and personal growth.

Why she inspires us: She makes the Dhamma relevant to modern life, showing us how to integrate compassion and wisdom into our daily interactions.

Her YouTube talks can be accessed on Sravasti Abbey

Sylvia Bay: A Scholar of the Buddha’s Life

Sylvia Bay is a Singaporean lay teacher who has dedicated her life to studying and teaching Buddhism since 1992.

Her book Between the Lines reconstructs the historical Buddha’s life, offering readers a balanced perspective that puts together faith and logic. Sylvia’s ability to unpack the Buddha’s teachings in an engaging and thought-provoking manner has made her a trusted guide for those seeking a deeper understanding of the Dhamma.

Why she inspires us: She presents Buddhism in a way that resonates with Singapore & Malaysia vibe, making Dhamma fun to learn with sprinkles of local references to Ba Chor Mee and Char Kway Teow.

Her YouTube talks can be accessed on Buddhist Fellowship or Dawning of Dhamma

Venerable Canda: Championing Bhikkhuni Ordination

Venerable Canda discovered the Dhamma in 1996 and spent years immersed in vipassana meditation before ordaining as a bhikkhuni in Myanmar in 2006. She later received full ordination in Australia under the guidance of Ajahn Brahm in 2014.

Dedicated to empowering female monastics, Ven. Canda founded the Anukampa Bhikkhuni Project in England to establish a monastery for women pursuing full ordination. Her warm and engaging teaching style focuses on kindness, letting go, and integrating meditation into daily life. She serves as an inspiring figure for those committed to upholding monastic equality in Theravāda Buddhism.

Why she inspires us: She embodies resilience and determination, championing greater inclusivity for women in Buddhism.

Her YouTube talks can be accessed on Buddhist Society of Western Australia.

Ayya Khema: A Pioneer for Women in Buddhism

Born Ilse Ledermann in Berlin, Ayya Khema overcame immense hardship during World War II before embarking on her Buddhist journey. She became a Theravāda bhikkhuni in Sri Lanka in 1979 and dedicated her life to reviving opportunities for women in Buddhism.

Ayya Khema founded numerous meditation centres and played a key role in organising the first International Conference on Buddhist Nuns in 1987. She even addressed the United Nations on Buddhism and world peace, advocating for greater recognition of female monastics. Her books, such as Being Nobody, Going Nowhere, continue to inspire practitioners to embrace simplicity and inner peace.

Why she inspires us: Even after her passing, her work remains. She paved the way for future generations of female monastics, proving that women have an equal place in Buddhist practice and leadership.

Her YouTube talks can be accessed on Insight Timer by searching her name or Youtube.

Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo: Breaking Barriers for Women in Tibetan Buddhism

Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo, originally Diane Perry from England, is a pioneering Tibetan Buddhist nun. After ordaining in the Drukpa Kagyu lineage in the 1960s, she undertook a legendary 12-year solitary retreat in a remote Himalayan cave, enduring extreme conditions to deepen her practice.

Recognising the need for better opportunities for female monastics, she founded Dongyu Gatsal Ling Nunnery in India, which is dedicated to training Tibetan Buddhist nuns to reach their full potential.

She continues to be a strong advocate for women in Buddhism, inspiring practitioners worldwide with her unwavering commitment to the Dhamma.

Why she inspires us: Beyond her commonly overshared time in the cave, she is a person of great metta and inspires us to take action even when conditions might seem impossible to start trying.

Her talks can be found across many channels.

Honouring Women’s Contributions on International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day is a reminder of the transformative power of women’s voices in Buddhism. From Pema Chödrön’s compassionate teachings to Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo’s fearless dedication, these remarkable teachers challenge norms and enrich our understanding of the Dhamma.

As we celebrate their contributions, let us continue supporting female practitioners who shape the future of Buddhism with wisdom and courage. May their stories inspire generations to come!

Who are your favourite female Buddhist teachers? Let us know in the comments of our Telegram channel

Strength in the Sangha: Growing Together as a Buddhist Community (ft. Bro. Chye Chye)

Strength in the Sangha: Growing Together as a Buddhist Community (ft. Bro. Chye Chye)

Summary

🤔 Ever wondered what it truly means to take refuge in the Sangha? 🌱 In this episode, Cheryl and Brother Chye Chye explore the importance of this practice for personal and communal spiritual growth by understanding:
☸️ The significance and qualities of the noble Sangha
🙏 How we can find balance in relating to the Sangha
🔍 Checks and balances within the Sangha ecosystem

About the Speaker

Chye works in the wealth management industry. He not only plays the role of a banker to his clients but often as a counsellor, friend, confidant etc. As a trained engineer, he will often try to make Dhamma learning as simple and logical as possible.

Key Takeaways

Taking refuge in the Sangha, a core practice in Buddhism, goes beyond mere association—it signifies a deep commitment to learning and embodying the teachings of the Buddha. In a recent insightful discussion between Cheryl and Brother Chye Chye, the essence of going to the Sangha for refuge was explored, highlighting its transformative power in personal and communal spiritual growth.

Recollecting the Qualities of the Noble Sangha

Cheryl and Brother Chye emphasized that the Sangha consists of individuals who not only uphold but also live by the teachings of the Buddha. They embody qualities such as integrity and wisdom, serving as custodians of the Dhamma and an unsurpassable field of merit to the world. The Sangha inspires by teaching the Dhamma clearly and logically, motivated by compassion for the benefit of others, and without self-interest. They also inspire through their upright conduct, demonstrating integrity and adherence to Buddhist principles. These qualities collectively inspire practitioners by offering clear guidance and serving as authentic examples of living according to the Dhamma.

Supaṭipanno bhagavato sāvakasaṅgho
Ujupaṭipanno bhagavato sāvakasaṅgho
Ñāyapaṭipanno bhagavato sāvakasaṅgho
Sāmīcipaṭipanno bhagavato sāvakasaṅgho
Yadidaṃ cattāri purisayugāni aṭṭha purisapuggalā
Esa bhagavato sāvakasaṅgho
Āhuneyyo pāhuneyyo dakkhiṇeyyo añjalikaraṇiyo
Anuttaraṃ puññakkhettaṃ lokassā ti

Saṅghānussati (Recollection of the Sangha)

Translation:

Of good conduct is the Order of the Disciples of the Blessed One.
Of upright conduct is the Order of the Disciples of the Blessed One.
Of wise conduct is the Order of the Disciples of the Blessed One.
Of proper conduct is the Order of the Disciples of the Blessed One.

This Order of the Disciples of the Blessed One, namely these Four Pairs of persons, the eight [types of] individuals,
is worthy of gifts,
worthy of hospitality,
worthy of offerings,
worthy of reverential salutation,
and is an incomparable field of merit for the World.

Saṅghānussati (Recollection of the Sangha)

Balancing Guidance from Teachers and Self-Reliance

The discussion highlighted the importance of balancing the need for guidance from teachers with trusting one’s own mindfulness to progress on this path. This delicate balance ensures that practitioners benefit from the collective wisdom of the Sangha while also nurturing their self-reliance on this spiritual journey. When relating to monastics, it’s skillful to understand that bowing to them signifies respect for the entire Sangha community of the past, present and future. This practice ensures that our refuge lies in the qualities and collective practice of the Sangha, rather than solely in individual persons, thereby safeguarding our faith in the Triple Gem.

Checks and Balances within the Sangha Ecosystem

Delving into the nuances of community dynamics, Cheryl and Brother Chye Chye explored the significance of offering constructive feedback within the Sangha. They emphasized that fostering a supportive environment is crucial for growth and harmony on the spiritual path. By engaging in respectful dialogue and mutual support, practitioners contribute to a nurturing community that facilitates collective progress.

In conclusion, Cheryl and Brother Chye Chye’s discussion on taking refuge in the Sangha illuminates the profound implications of this practice within Buddhism. By embracing the qualities of integrity, wisdom, and communal support, practitioners not only deepen their spiritual practice but also contribute to the preservation and propagation of the Dhamma. Ultimately, the Sangha serves as a beacon of inspiration and guidance, guiding individuals on their journey towards awakening and enlightenment.

Transcript:

Full Transcript

[00:00:00] Cheryl: Welcome to the Handful of Leaves podcast. My name is Cheryl. And today I have with me a special guest, Brother Chye Chye.

[00:00:08] Chye: Hello, Brother Chye Chye.

Hello Cheryl. Hi.

[00:00:10] Cheryl: So Brother Chye Chye is a Dhamma practitioner, a student of the Buddha, and he loves cats and dogs. Yes, yes, yes.

I’ll let him introduce the names of his cute little cats and dogs.

[00:00:22] Chye: Okay I have a handful of animals at my place. So I have two dogs and two cats. My first dog is called Bodhi, and my second dog is called Metta. My two other cats, one cat is called Satta. The other cat is called Citta.

My aim is that you put them together then it means something like Bodhisatta, Bodhicitta.

[00:00:43] Cheryl: Last time I went to Brother Chye Chye’s house and it was quite funny because Metta was kind of hyper. And then I think Brother Chye Chye was scolding, Metta! Sit down! Metta! Stop it!

[00:00:56] Chye: No Metta already.

[00:00:57] Cheryl: Yeah, I found it so funny and ironic.

[00:01:02] Chye: Yeah, it’s very active, very active. Also means it has a lot of Metta for everyone. So it’s very friendly to everyone and wants to play with everyone.

Yeah, that’s right.

[00:01:09] Cheryl: Today I’ve invited Brother Chye Chye for a challenging topic.

So it’s relating to the idea of taking refuge in the Sangha, which we always do, and really wanting to dig deep to understand what does it mean to respect the Sangha, what does it mean to take refuge in them, and to what extent should we rely on them and on ourselves in this practice.

[00:01:39] Chye: Okay, okay. Let me answer the first part about taking refuge in Sangha. I think that’s what most Buddhists would do. And it’s commonly done, I mean, when you first become a Buddhist, you take refuge in the Triple Gem and one of them is the Sangha, right? So let me break it down into two parts, right? So one is taking refuge.

And one is the Sangha, right? So, what does taking refuge mean, right? So, by the word it means that you’re actually taking shelter? or you go to a place that’s very safe, right? Or someone or a place that you have trust and confidence in, right? Because when you are at that place or when you’re with somebody or when you’re with the object, it actually protects you from danger in whatever sense, right?

So typically when somebody take refuge in the triple gems, you also mean that you want to follow this path. You have confidence in this path to protect you from the danger of the world and all the dangers of the mind or the Akusala mind, right? The great, hatred, delusion. And it’s also coincidentally when you want to be a Buddhist, the first thing that you do is to take refuge in the Triple Gem, Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha, right?

So that is the taking refuge part. Then let me talk about the Sangha right? Ideally, Sangha in the Buddha’s time, it referred to the Ariya Sangha, right? That’s why in the recitation of the qualities of the Sangha, you talk about the four pairs of person, the eight types of individuals, right? And there’s nowhere that they talk about donning the robes. Right. It’s all about the qualities of the Sangha, right?

So Ariya Sangha means one who have realized at least a first stage of sainthood because in a Buddhist practice especially in the Theravada practice, when you practice Dhamma, you have different attainment, right?

So if you attain the first stage of Enlightenment, that qualifies you as an Ariya Sangha and in total there are four stages. Yeah. Okay. So that’s Ariya Sangha. But nowadays, conventionally, they are the monastic community who are in robes or they are ordained, right? And they are the representative of the monastic community, who devote their lives to the practice of Dhamma. And they’re important because they’re the ones who’ve shared, preserved and practiced the Dhamma for 2600 years.

And today we can still learn the Dhamma because of them.

So taking refuge in Sangha now has two levels. One I call the external level, right? So it’s about having confidence. in the qualities of the ideal Sangha, and also in the monastic Sangha community, which has helped to preserve the teaching until today. So that’s the external part, right? But more importantly, it’s also about the internal part.

Internal refuge to the Sangha, what does it mean? It’s about having that confidence in ourselves that one day we can be purified to become the ideal Sangha. So from external, it must come to internal. That’s why the Buddha said that, you know, in the Parinirvana Sutta, he said mendicants or bhikkhus, be an island unto yourself.

Now be your own refuge with no other refuge. What does it mean? If you look at the quality of the Triple Gem, the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, we all can have the quality if we practice the Dhamma well and we follow the path. So that to me is taking refuge in the Sangha externally and internally. Yeah.

[00:04:58] Cheryl: And I’m very curious to hear from you about your journey in taking refuge in the Sangha.

How has that evolved from the first day you took refuge until today?

[00:05:09] Chye: Wow. Very different. It’s totally different. Because initially when I take refuge in the Sangha or in the Triple Gem, right? Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha, right? It’s really the form, right? The Buddha Rupa, the texts, the teachings, followed by the monastic form. But as you go deeper and deeper into the practice, you start to realize the Triple Gem, it’s about the qualities, the qualities of the Buddha. Although the Buddha is not around, but we can still feel the qualities of the Buddha, you know, the timeless teaching, the Dhamma and the Sangha who have practiced well and practiced right.

And because you take refuge in the qualities of the Triple Gem, you yourself will want to aspire to achieve those qualities in the Triple Gem. Something you’re confident in that you can achieve. Then you realize that actually the Triple Gem are all within us. We can achieve an awakened mind. We can taste the Dhamma. And Sangha just means that one day, we can be the ideal Sangha that the Buddha talked about. So right now, the Triple Gem has a very special meaning for me.

It means that I myself, if I walk the path correctly, the Triple Gem is inside me, and I take refuge in that Triple Gem.

[00:06:19] Cheryl: I find that so beautiful that you are able to take the journey from taking refuge of an external object to moving it into characteristics and qualities that you could embody within yourself.

[00:06:32] Chye: Yeah. So now taking refuge in the Triple Gem become very meaningful for me. It’s no longer something that’s external, but I’ve moved into the internal part of me that I want to achieve. I can achieve. I have the potential to achieve. Yeah.

[00:06:45] Cheryl: And can you share more about the qualities and I guess perhaps elaborating a bit more specifically on the qualities of the Sangha in the ideal sense that the Buddha expounded?

[00:07:00] Chye: Okay, if you look at the phrase, it’s talking about Sangha members who practice in a very honest way, practice correctly, and practice in a way that inspires people, right? And of course, if you practice that way, one day you can attain the fruits of the Dhamma or the fruits of the path.

And that’s why there are four pairs and eight types of individuals and that these are the people who we call the Ariya Sangha, right? These are the people that bring immense merits to the world. That’s why in the phrase it is said that they’re an unsurpassed field of merits for the world, because this group of Sangha, not only they are harmless, but they also are very beneficial to the world when they share the teaching, when they share the path, and when they guide you accordingly in the practice itself. And they’re also worthy of gifts, worthy of hostility, and worthy of offering, because they themselves have walked the path, they themselves have benefited from the path and have realized and now they share the Dhamma. And that’s the reason why they are worthy of all these offering, gifts and hospitality. So to me, this is the ideal quality of Sangha that is set by the standard and also something that we all can achieve. We all can achieve if we walk the path correctly.

[00:08:12] Cheryl: So you’re saying one was they walk correctly. Secondly is, they walk in an inspiring way.

[00:08:19] Chye: Yes. Inspiring way. That’s right.

[00:08:21] Cheryl: And I think two more would be with integrity and with insight.

[00:08:26] Chye: With integrity, honest, you practice honestly in a very honest way.

[00:08:29] Cheryl: Okay. And I think the point that you mentioned about inspiring is something very interesting because inspiring can be sometimes based on lay person’s expectations. So for example, I can feel a teacher to be inspiring because they sit in a very straight manner. But then sometimes I see another monastic member from a different tradition where they are constantly just scratching or fidgeting and they appear uninspiring.

But then I hear from other people that, Hey, this teacher is very well attained. So what exactly do you by inspiring? Is it through observing their conduct?

[00:09:07] Chye: I think there are two parts. One is observing what they say, right? How they teach and what they say, right? And Buddha is very specific about how one should teach the Dhamma.

For example, he said that the qualities of a good Dhamma speaker is one who can speak very clearly and one who can speak very logically. Clear and logical. And he also speak in a sense that it is out of compassion for people and for the benefit of people. And the fifth one is about not speaking because he wants to have anything for himself.

Right? So if you look at the qualities of a Dhamma speaker or someone who is inspiring, right? There’s nothing which talks about charisma. No, there’s nothing about charisma or how popular this person is. It’s about whether this person can guide you in a very clear way, logical way. And the thing that they speak is very beneficial to you as well.

So that’s one part about speaking the Dhamma. And second thing is about the conduct. That’s the reason why the Buddha also say that when you want to observe someone, you must observe for a time frame, whether his conduct is in sync with what he says. Let’s say this person says that I’ll keep the precepts, you must make sure that the conduct lives up to the standard of keeping the precepts of being mindful and things like that.

These are two things I observe in the Sangha. One is how they teach not in a charismatic way, but in a way that they are very clear in our teaching and beneficial to other people. And one is their conduct. Their conduct must be in a way that is inspiring in the sense that they are honest with the practice. They live up to the standard of whatever they say. So that to me is inspiring. Yeah.

[00:10:46] Cheryl: Thanks for very clearly explaining this. Yeah, because I think in the age of Facebook, I tend to find myself guilty of trusting a teacher a little bit more if they have more likes on their page, more shares, they’re more charismatic and popular and things like that.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So, so thanks for, for bringing it back to the sutta and reminding us clearly. And at the same time, there are also a lot of news or articles about monastic members who kind of go sideways. So sometimes when I pay respect or meet a new monk that I’ve never met before, I can tend to be a little bit skeptical.

What is the way that we should relate to monastics skillfully? What are we paying respect to when we bow down to the robes?

[00:11:33] Chye: I think we have to be very clear that when we bow to a Sangha or to a group of Sangha, it’s bowing to the whole Sangha community of the four directions. In the past, present, and future.

And that’s what the Buddha said, right? If you bow to a Sangha, they represent the Sangha community. When you bow, it’s not bowing to the person itself, but bowing to the Sangha community, the community that preserves the Dhamma, that practices the Dhamma. And the Buddha specifically said in all direction, and in all past, present, and future.

And this is very important. Why? Because it’s again that we take refuge, right? We take refuge in the Sangha. It’s not about the person. We take refuge in the qualities. and in the community who practice well and practice together, right? And it’s important because if you take refuge in a person itself, what if the person doesn’t live up to the expectation?

Then either your faith will dwindle or your faith will just fall apart and then you lose faith in the triple gem. So that’s something that I always remind people to be very careful. When you bow to the Sangha, it’s really to the community, not to the person itself. Yeah. Cause sometimes a person can fall short.

We never know.

[00:12:46] Cheryl: That’s true. We’re setting ourselves up for disappointments if we just put our faith a hundred percent in a person.

[00:12:54] Chye: Correct. That’s right.

[00:12:55] Cheryl: I’m curious, in your journey as a student of the Buddha, how to find that balance on relying on your teacher’s guidance and relying on your own wisdom and mindfulness when you meet with challenges.

[00:13:09] Chye: I think you need both. You need both. A Dhamma practice requires two parts, right? One is the knowledge. Knowledge means the Dhamma, how to practice, what to practice, and what should you be experiencing with the practice.

So these are the Dhamma knowledge, right? The knowledge itself. The other part is the practice. It means that you put this knowledge into practice, right? And when you practice well and certain experience come through your practice, that’s according to the knowledge, that’s what I call insight.

So Dhamma practice means for the knowledge and the practical side starts to gel together and that’s the insight. Okay. So that’s, that’s for me the Dhamma practice. So to me, an ideal teacher or teacher should have this two parts come together, right? He should be able to give you the instruction and he should be the one that have realized some part of the instruction.

And that’s the reason why he goes to the teacher, to ask for guidance. When we practice or when we meet with any obstacle, we go to them, right? And to me, a teacher is important as well as our own practice. Why? It’s because sometimes the mind can play a lot of tricks on us. Sometimes we find excuses or sometimes we can be too overzealous.

And so that’s why we need a teacher to really guide us and bring us back to a balance. So to me, a teacher and your own practice, it must come hand in hand together. And it must be like that. Because even the Buddha said that, you must frequently visit a Sangha or visit a community to discuss Dhamma, to share Dhamma or to talk about Dhamma. And we also know that in the Mangala Sutta, one of the highest blessings is to be able to share Dhamma or to learn Dhamma from a Sangha community or a teacher itself. Yeah.

[00:14:54] Cheryl: Was there a time where you lean too much on one end or the other?

[00:14:57] Chye: Yes and no lah. I’m a Libra right, so Libra tends to be a bit more balanced. Me too, I’m a Libra! Are you a Libra too? Yeah, I’m a Libra. So, my logical and emotional sides can be quite balanced. So for example, let’s say I really like a teacher, I learn the teaching, and I feel that I’m too attached to the teacher, then I’ll pull back.

But if you want to know when you lean too much, it’s when you follow a teacher and you find that you just believe 100 percent the teacher without verifying. That’s, I think it’s a bit too much, right?

Or you do your own practice and believe yourself too much. That you don’t go to a teacher anymore, or you don’t seek guidance anymore, and become very egoistic, right? And so that’s also a danger to realize. So, a good balance is where there is a time for us to practice. And then when you meet your obstacles, there’s a time for you to discuss Dhamma with a teacher and to seek guidance.

So that to me is a well balanced practitioner.

[00:15:49] Cheryl: Wonderful. And I resonate a lot with that. I am the type who can become quite attached to a teacher. And then sometimes I notice that my mind becomes very biased when I see teachings from other teachers or other traditions. I’ll be like, but my teacher said it better.

[00:16:06] Chye: That’s right.

[00:16:06] Cheryl: Then that’s when I know, I need to check myself on this and watch this attachment.

[00:16:12] Chye: Right, right. I mean, all these are attachments, but sometimes it’s just like that. People will get attached to things that they like. So it’s also a practice for us to realize that it’s also attachment and pull back.

[00:16:22] Cheryl: And now we move gears a little bit. Sometimes you can hear criticisms about Sangha members, but sometimes it’s unfounded. You also don’t know whether it’s true or not. And we can get a bit confused. What is a practical advice on how we can go about being skillful?

[00:16:41] Chye: I think to me it’s about okay, if that particular conversation it’s not factual, it’s not helpful and not kind. I’ll typically just ignore it. For example, people talk about, oh, no, that Sangha member he look very proud. Not factual, right? Not factual and not helpful.

So I’ll just ignore it. I’ll just avoid discussing that conversation. But having said that, I also think that sometimes we have to give a benefit of doubt to people who are saying it. We must see where the person is coming from, right? If let’s say it’s a very genuine concern about a Sangha, then probably we can discuss about it with a very open mind and see where are the facts and what are the things that the person is trying to say. Because I find that sometimes in the Buddhist community, when somebody talks about Sangha, it’s taboo, it’s bad karma, right?

So we need to provide a safe place for people to express their genuine concern about a Sangha rather than brush it off. It’s a balance between assessing whether what they’re saying is helpful, is it factual or not? Or is it a genuine concern? If it’s a genuine concern, then probably we can explore and discuss about it so that this community can thrive.

This community can grow together and be honest with each other.

[00:17:53] Cheryl: Yes. And that is very helpful advice. Because I had a conversation with a friend recently and she was feeling very troubled by the things that she’s hearing. And the first thing she feels is that, Oh no, what is going to happen to my practice if my teacher is truly like that. And then the second thing is everyone say, don’t talk about this. Don’t talk about this. It’s bad karma. Exactly. Like you mentioned.

 Negative things, we sometimes need to still bring it up in a skillful way. It’s for the longterm benefit for the community to thrive.

[00:18:25] Chye: Correct, correct. I think it’s important to create a safe space for people to really express their genuine concern.

But yet we also need to have a safe space for people who talk nonsense about Sangha, like very unhelpful, or even cast their own expectation on the Sangha, say he should like this, he should like this. So it’s a balance, right? And that balance comes with certain mindfulness. You check whether, Hey, he’s talking about this, is it helpful or is it real or is it factual?

So this is something that we had to take care of. Yeah, yeah.

[00:18:53] Cheryl: Then to what extent is it a layperson’s duty to provide feedback to monastic members?

[00:19:02] Chye: It’s. Absolutely a lay person responsibility really to me. If you go back to the Buddha’s time, most of the Vinaya came about because the lay people went and complained to the Buddha. And the Buddha said, yeah, it’s true. It shouldn’t be like that. So let me have the Vinaya rule about this. Yeah. So in the past it was like that. The lay people will go to the Buddha and feedback. So they’re like the quality control of the Sangha. And that’s how the Sangha community grow, and grow so much during the Buddha’s time.

Because there’s this mutual trust among each other that the bhikkhu teach the right Dhamma, and the lay people will also give feedback to the bhikkhus or the monastic Sangha. And to me, it’s important because we are the ones who support the Sangha. We are the ones who help the Sangha grow.

In a way, we are also responsible whether the Sangha are going the right or the wrong way. And to me, there’s a baseline. About the four Pārājika rules, right, because you know that monastic Sangha, there are different Vinaya rules, right? So if it’s about the four very serious rules that they shouldn’t breach, for me, I will just go to wherever the temple or to the place and give a feedback for them to investigate.

[00:20:09] Cheryl: It’s very clear cut on that.

[00:20:10] Chye: Yeah, that’s me. But for other things like minor issues, maybe the robes are improper, I don’t really bother. These are things that does not bring harm to other people. So my baseline is, if the conduct brings harm to other people, especially to devotees, for me, I’ll just voice out, because it’s really our responsibility to make sure that we check on each other.

So the Sangha teach us the Dhamma and we also help the Sangha to grow in a pure way.

[00:20:34] Cheryl: Thank you very much Brother Chye Chye for today’s short and snazzy episode where we learn how to relate to the Sangha skillfully, what it means to take refuge.

And I hope to all our listeners, you take away one or two points that help you to improve your practice and to continue to grow together with the Sangha community both in the external form as well as the internal qualities within yourself. Any last words?

[00:20:59] Chye: Yes. If you are interested in, I mean to me, if you want to grow in the Dhamma, have a relationship with Sangha, I think it’s good also to know what their rules are.

Right. A book that’s quite interesting, it’s called The Bhikkhu Rules for lay people. So it summarizes how should they conduct themselves and what are the rules and things like that. When you read all these rules, you’ll find that you’re very inspired by them because it’s such a thorough training for the monastic. So both ways, when you know it, you will roughly know how is it like, and you’ll also be inspired by the community.

[00:21:31] Cheryl: Thank you so much, Brother Chye Chye and to all listeners, see you again in the next episode.

Resources:

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña, Shuo Mei, Arif, Bernice, Wee Teck, Andrew Yam, Kan Rong Hui, Wei Li Quek, Shirley Shen, Ezra, Joanne Chan, Hsien Li Siaw, Gillian Ang, Wang Shiow Mei, Ong Chye Chye, Melvin, Yoke Kuen

Editor and transcriber of this episode: 

Cheryl Cheah, Susara Ng, Ke Hui Tee

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Being Gay and Buddhist: What did the Buddha say?

Being Gay and Buddhist: What did the Buddha say?

Editor’s notes: This article has been kindly contributed by Bhante Shravasti Dhammika whose works can be found on Budblooms. In addition, he has launched a new book Footprints in the Dust: The Life of the Buddha from the Earliest Sources, now available on Amazon. TW: Content covers the topic of suicide.

TLDR: Is being Gay wrong in Buddhism? A question Bhante Dhammika occasionally gets. He shares his encounter with a Buddhist practitioner and how it is important to give wise advice according to the teachings of the Buddha.

The Hesitating Question

Occasionally someone, usually a young man but sometimes a young women or an older man or women, will approach me and after a few minutes of hesitation or beating around the bush, ask me what the Buddhist position on homosexuality is.

When they do I tell them that intentional actions (kamma) modify consciousness and that our kamma conditions our future.

Positive intentional acts have positive effects (vipaka) and negative intentional acts have a negative effect.

Sexual acts motivated by the usual intentions, feelings and emotions which exist between two people who love each other, would have a positive effect and would not infringe the third Precept, whether they be homosexual or heterosexual.

Buddhist Ethics and Sex

I underline this point by saying that Buddhist ethics about sex are primarily concerned with the motives behind out sexual behaviour, rather than the gender of our partner.

This being so, if two people of the same gender express their love for each other physically there is no good reason why the kamma this creates should be any different from when two people of the opposite gender do the same.

Having said this, I then try to change the subject, not because I am embarrassed talking about homosexuality, but because I do not like the ‘single issue’ approach to Dhamma.

However, that view changed when I met Julian.

An Unforgettable Encounter

A few years ago I had an encounter which made me realize that inquiries about homosexuality, whether from LGBTQ+ identifying individuals or their families, should be given my whole attention.

However theoretical or marginal this issue may be to me it is likely to be of considerable importance to the people who ask such questions.

A young man named Julian rung me asking if he could come and talk to me about Buddhism. I said he could, and on the appointed day and time, he came. Julian turned out to be about 20 years old, of slight build and with pleasant features.

He was well-groomed and neatly dressed. He started by asking me a few questions about some aspects of Buddhism, but I sensed that these were not really what he was interested in.

Finally, the question came, “Venerable, can a gay person be a good Buddhist?” I gave my usual reply, but it soon became clear that this did not please him.

He kept interjecting and expressing doubts about what I said. I answered all his objections but he remained unconvinced. Arriving at a deadlock and not knowing what more I could say, I asked him if he was gay.

He blushed, cleared his throat and said that he was. Then he told me his story. Since his early teens, he noticed that he was attracted to other boys and had a particular interest in woman’s clothes. Horrified by these feelings he kept them well under control.

The Cycle of Self-hatred

A year ago while doing his national service, he had met another soldier who was gay and since that time they had been having a relationship, although a guilt-filled and fugitive one. 

Once or twice a month, they would pool their resources and book a hotel for the night. He would dress in women’s clothes, put on makeup, and they would spend the night together.

For Julian at least, this would be followed by days of self-loathing and resolutions never to do it again. After he had finished telling me this, he hung his head and said, “This must be wrong.”

“Well,” I said, “some people would find it a bit strange. But from a Buddhist perspective, I really can’t see that it is particularly harmful. Satisfying sexual urges is a perfectly natural thing to do and it is acceptable where it does not involve adultery or harming others.

The conflict you create within yourself by hating what are completely harmless feelings hurts you much more than being gay ever could.

There is no reason why you can’t practice the Precepts – respecting the life, the prosperity, and the sexual feelings of others, their right to know the truth and keeping your mind free from intoxicants – while being gay.”

He was silent but I could see that I had not been able to still his doubts. Julian visited me two more times over the next two months, and our conversations were about the Dhamma in general, although we also went over the same territory concerning homosexuality with very much the same results.

The Call

After not having seen or heard from Julian for nearly six months, I got a call from him. He told me that a famous Taiwanese monk was in town giving a series of talks and that he had managed to get a few minutes with him.

He had asked the monk the same question he had asked me, and the monk had told him that homosexuality was a filthy, evil thing and that homosexuals get reborn in the lowest hell where they are boiled in excrement for eons.

Julian said this with an almost triumphant tone, seemingly glad that he had proved me wrong or that he had found someone who agreed with him.

I asked him what else this venerable monk had said. “Nothing,” he replied. “He was going somewhere and only had a few minutes to talk.”

Giving Advice in Accordance to the Dhamma

How often has this happened to me? I have told an inquirer something about Buddhism which I know to be sound, sensible and in accordance with the Tipitaka, they go to another monk who tells them the exact opposite and then they come back to me asking me to explain the anomaly.

Then I am stuck with the problem of either saying that the other monk doesn’t know what he is talking about (which is often the case) and appearing to be an arrogant upstart or biting my lip, saying nothing and letting the person go away with yet another half-baked notion or superstition thinking that it is Dhamma.

How often? Very often! In most cases, this is just frustrating. In this case, it had tragic consequences.

Final Words

“Look Julian,” I said, “You asked me what Buddhism would say about homosexuality, and I told you based on my 20 years of studying the Buddhist scriptures and thinking about various issues in the light of the Buddha’s Dhamma. I don’t know what else I can say.”

I told him that if he wanted to talk with me at any time, he was welcome to do so, and then we hung up.

Four days later I was browsing through the paper, and a small article tucked away on the eighth page caught my eye. The heading read ‘Man’s Body Found in Park.’ I scanned the article briefly and was about to turn to something else when the name Julian sprung out at me. In an instant, my attention was riveted.

I read the part where this name appeared, and sure enough, it was about the Julian who had come to see me. I returned to the top of the article and read it all the way through.

Four days earlier, perhaps only a few hours after ringing me, Julian had gone to a park in the centre of Singapore late at night, taken an overdose of sleeping tablets and been found dead the next morning.

A suicide note had been found in his pocket, but the article did not mention what it said. I was overwhelmed by sorrow. The thought of him lying there utterly alone, hating himself and in such despair that he would kill himself almost made me cry.

Sadness turned to anger

But soon, anger was welling up through the sadness and diluting it until it had completely replaced the sadness. I pictured the Taiwanese monk blithely dispensing his ignorant and ultimately toxic opinion before rushing off to give a sermon about compassion or receive the accolade of the crowd.

I became so angry that I resolved to write him a letter and tell him what he had been responsible for. Then I thought it would probably be a waste of time. He probably wouldn’t even remember talking to Julian.

It seems to me that most thoughtful people would agree that sex without love is a pretty unattractive thing.

Physically, it is little more than ‘exchanging fluids’ as the sex education literature so delicately puts it. What lifts sex above the fluids exchange level is the motives and emotions behind it – affection, tenderness, the desire to give and receive, the bonds of companionship, fun even.

Intention is Kamma

This fits well into the Buddha’s famous statement, “I say that intention is kamma.”

Is sticking a knife into someone a positive or a negative action? It depends! If the knife was held by an enraged violent person, it would probably be negative. If it is held by a surgeon performing an operation to save someone’s life, it would certainly be positive.

From the Buddhist perspective, sexual behaviour is not judged primarily by the gender of the people involved, by the dictates of a code of behaviour drawn up in the Bronze Age or by whether a legal document has been signed, but by its psychological components.

Homosexuals are as capable of wanting and of feeling love and affection towards their partners as heterosexuals are, and where such states are present, homosexual sex is as acceptable as heterosexual sex.

This is a simple and logical truth and it is in accordance with Buddhist teachings, but circumstances were such that I was unable to help Julian see it.

All his experience had told him that being attracted to people of the same gender is wrong.

Those around him had always expressed disapproval towards homosexuality and sniggered at gays. The Singapore law at that time made it a crime to engage in homosexual acts between males. He knew other religions, and even some Buddhists, consider it so evil that it will have dreadful consequences in the life hereafter.

All this denigration and ignorance prevented him from hearing the gentle, reasonable, and kindly words of the Buddha.

It caused him inestimable suffering and finally drove him to suicide. I was reminded of Julian because some months later, I represented Buddhism in a seminar on religion and homosexuality at Catholic Junior College. I was surprised and pleased about how Catholic education had changed that they would have an open discussion of such an issue. 

Of the 800 students in the audience, I assumed that a certain number would probably be homosexual and may be struggling to understand their feelings.

Knowing that what I said may well have something to do with them growing up either happy and well-adjusted or tortured and self-loathing, I did take great care to explain the Buddhist position on homosexuality.


Wise Steps:

  1. In a world where we can be anything, be kind
  2. Take the time to understand and listen to fellow practitioners who struggle with their sexuality
  3. Familiarise ourselves with the precepts and understand what the Buddha taught and what were not his teachings; he did not teach. It could save a life.

Mental health resources for those in need:

Mental health resources that are lgbtq+ affirmative for those in need:

Social Services (free or means tested subsidy)

  • Allkin Family Service Centres
    • https://www.allkin.org.sg/
    • https://www.allkin.org.sg/connect/get-in-touch
  • Counselling and Care
    • https://counsel.org.sg/
    • Tel  6536 6366
  • Oogachaga
    • https://oogachaga.com/
    • Whatsapp counselling 8592 0609

Private Counsellors

Tan Chang Zhen
Senior counsellor with Buddhist faith
[email protected]

Eileena Lee
Counsellor who is familiar with Buddhism and empathetic to interfaith dynamics
https://eileenatherapy.com/

‘It is not about the gift.’: What we often forget about giving

‘It is not about the gift.’: What we often forget about giving

Editor’s Note: Danry shares about giving and how we can do so in the month of May for the inaugural International Sangha Dana 2023.

TLDR: Gifts are much more than just the act of giving – it encompasses the effects of the gift on the receiver too. However small the act of giving, it is the mind state of giving that makes it meritorious. Supporting the Sangha by Dana honours all three of the Triple Gems, the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, all at once!

In Buddhism, giving is not just an act of kindness – it is a powerful tool for personal growth and spiritual development.

I know, the term ‘giving’ might conjure an image of a donation box at every corner, with people scrambling to find dollar bills (especially the smaller dominations!) to stuff into the tiny slit – usually in exchange for some ’favour’. 

But this discounts the true power of giving, limiting it to only a form of transaction. Known as dana, giving is usually considered the foundation of one’s growth in the Dhamma. It is often taught as a way to lead a happier, more joyful life – with oneself and others!

Giving isn’t just about the gift!

While gifts are commonly in the form of something material, such as candles and books, it does not just stop there. When we give a gift to another, it is beyond the material. Giving can be considered an art because it involves creativity, intention, and skill. Like any form of art, giving requires thoughtfulness, sensitivity, and attention to detail. 

When we give to others, we are not simply handing over a material object or performing a task. We are engaging in a creative act that involves understanding the needs of the recipient, selecting an appropriate gift or action, and presenting it in a way that is meaningful and impactful. 

Giving is also an art because it requires intention and purpose. We give not just for the sake of giving, but with the hope that it can be of benefit to another’s well-being and even happiness. 

The gift of food is not just giving food

I remember once when I asked my teacher about the merits when one offers food to the Sangha, and his response changed how I saw giving. He shares that the giving of food to anyone (including the Sangha) is not merely a gift of food to fill the stomach, but a gift of life, gift of friendliness, and gift of worryless-ness. 

A gift of life because it serves as a condition for the sustenance of life; a gift of friendliness because it serves as a condition for the feeling of being cared for by another; a gift of worryless-ness because one now has one less thing to worry about. 

When we contemplate in this way, any small act of giving can become boundless in rejoicing in our own goodness. And in so doing, we also learn to rejoice in the goodness of others when others engage in acts of giving. 

Similarly, when we offer medicine, we are in fact giving the gift of health, the gift of strength and the gift of fearlessness. 

When we offer lodging (in Singapore’s context it may be supporting the cost of lodging rather than actually offering land), it is a gift of refuge, a gift of conduciveness, a gift of safety. When we contemplate in this way, the act of giving becomes a powerful tool for cultivation, towards boundlessness. 

And when we can use the same lens when we receive a gift, gratitude and appreciation naturally spring up much more.

Is giving to the Buddha & his disciples the only way?

In the time of the Buddha, there was a rumour that the Buddha taught that only by giving to the Buddha and his disciples was it meritorious. Vacchagotta, a non-Buddhist wanderer, decided to question find out if the rumours were true. In that discourse, Vaccha Sutta, the Buddha described that even the smallest act of giving, would be a source of merit. He proclaimed:

“One acquires merit even if one throws away rinsings of a bowl or a cup into a village pool or pond with the thought: ‘May the living beings here sustain themselves with this!’ How much more, then, does one acquire merit when one gives to fellow human beings!”

Giving to the Sangha

In the same discourse, He taught Vacchagotta that “what is given to one of virtuous behaviour is more fruitful than what is given to an immoral person. And the most worthy recipient is one who has abandoned five factors and possesses five factors”, referring to the overcoming of the Five Hindrances

When one chooses to be a monastic, one makes the determination to overcome these hindrances despite all odds. To be a monastic requires one to give up worldly comforts to fully dedicate one’s life to the path of Awakening, while sharing insights into the Dhamma with the lay community. 

As such, one of the most significant forms of dana is giving to the Sangha, the community of monastics that have chosen to dedicate their lives to the practice of the Dhamma. Since the time of the Buddha and in many Buddhist countries today, alms offering, known as piṇḍapāta, is still practised. 

As aspirants of the highest goal, the Sangha is often praised by the Buddha (and recited by many Buddhists) as the ‘incomparable field of merit for the world’ (anuttaram punnakhettam lokassa).

To me, by supporting the Sangha, we not only express our gratitude for the teachings we have received, but we also enable the continuation of the noble practice of the Dhamma for future generations. The Sangha plays a vital role in preserving the teachings of the Buddha. 

It once occurred to me that the very reason why we have access to the practice of Dhamma today is due to the effort of generations after generations of Sangha. In choosing to give to the Sangha, one is laying a condition for the continued preservation of the Dhamma of those to come. 

To me, preserving, practising and penetrating the Dhamma is the supreme homage to the Buddha. Thus, simple yet profound, the practice of dana, is related to the Triple Gems – the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha!


Want to explore the art of giving in person? Join Danry on 13th May for the international Sangha Dana 2023 from 9am to 5pm at Suntec Convention Centre! Sign-up is free!


Wise Steps:

  • Start giving something today, however small. It doesn’t need to be material.
  • Give with the heart of benefiting another
  • Receive gifts with an open heart
#WW: 🥺My husband’s cheating led me to the Dhamma

#WW: 🥺My husband’s cheating led me to the Dhamma

Wholesome Wednesdays (WW): Bringing you curated positive content on Wednesdays to uplift your hump day.

2 stories for you today!

The week of love is coming up! We take a creative (maybe contrarian) spin this week on sharing a broken love can lead to the Dhamma and how to love our work.

1. How my husband’s affair led me to the Dhamma

2. How to love your work

How my husband’s affair led me to the Dhamma

broken blue ceramic plate
Unsplash

What’s going on here

Venerable Pema Chodron, a famous Tibetan Nun & author of “When Things Fall Apart“, shares how she became a Buddhist! How something really dark in her life transformed her into a Dhamma practitioner.

Why we like it

We can sometimes think of monastics as people who led comfortable lives and decided to renounce all worldly possessions. However, some come to the Dhamma and monastic life from a deeply traumatic experience. This shows the humanising part of Sangha and an eye-opener to how she dealt with the pain when she was enjoying the heights of her career and life.

“What i was feeling (anger & negativity) was a key to something rather than an obstacle to something.”

Wise Steps

When things fall apart, where do we turn to? Do we allow ourselves to feel the pain or numb it away?

Watch it here or below

How to love your work

white desk lamp beside green plant
Unsplash

What’s going on here

School of Life (SOL) makes a video on how we can have a better relationship with our work. The five mins video touches on aspirations and finding meaning in our work. Loving your work, SOL argues, doesn’t start with your work.

Why we like it

With 1 in 4 Singaporeans planning to resign within the next few months, this matter more than ever. This video is easy to digest and makes us think deeper about what we want. It challenges us to drop the expectations of comparison with others’ lives.

” Work cannot fix the deficit of love. We should enjoy work on its own terms”

Wise Steps

Are you in a slump? Maybe it is time to slow down and acknowledge where you feel unsatisfied about your work-life. Asking yourself much needed questions about work and career can spark new insights!

Enjoy the video here or below!

Want to dive deeper and get something tangible? Check out School of Life’s Gratitude cards or Confidence flashcards