Editor’s note: This article was first published from buddhism.net and edited with the author’s permission, Meng is also an advisor to Handful of Leaves.
TW: This article has brief mention of suicide contemplation
TLDR: From suicidal thoughts to a successful career at Google, follow Meng’s path as Buddhism becomes the beacon of light that guides him to lasting happiness.
My name is Meng, and Buddhism saved my life.
“Buddhism” in Singapore
I grew up in Singapore in a “Buddhist” family within a “Buddhist” culture. I put the word “Buddhist” in quotes because when I was growing up, the “Buddhism” I encountered was little more than idol worshipping, superstition, and elaborate funeral rites.
Many of the adults around me were “Buddhists” their entire lives and almost none of them had even the slightest idea what the core teachings of the Buddha were.
A quest for meaning beyond IQ
When I was in my early teens, I started searching for the meaning of life. The adults thought I was just an uncommonly smart kid doing what uncommonly smart kids did.
See, my IQ was measured at 156, I learned to read at age eighteen months, I taught myself computer programming at twelve, and I won my first national programming award at fifteen.
So, I fit the profile. However, the real reason I was searching was because I was suffering from depression.
It turned out that being smart and being very good at my craft even at a very young age did not make me happy.
Actually, it was even worse than that: I was suicidal. The only thing that kept me alive was I was too cowardly to die, but I also knew it was only a matter of time before my misery exceeded my cowardice.
Yeah, not good. Something had to change.
Searching through the different religions
I looked everywhere for answers. I looked to science and philosophy, which were a lot of fun to learn, but did nothing to help me with my suffering and my search for the meaning of life. I tried to understand religion, learning about Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism and Christianity.
The Buddhism I learned back then was Zen Buddhism, which I found mostly incomprehensible at the time with its weird, inscrutable questions (koans) such as, “The sound of two hands is clapping; what is the sound of one hand?”
The most attractive of all my options was Christianity, which was glitzy and extremely well-funded and well-organized in Singapore. However, it did not provide me with the answers I sought.
Worse, some encouraged adherents to eventually have unshakeable faith, placing aside my understanding and love for science. I really, really didn’t want to do that, thank you very much.
Crying & Suffering
The turning point came when I was twenty-one. I was invited to a Pentecostal church. It was very different from my previous understanding of church.
You see, I went to Catholic High School in Singapore, and the only reason my father sent me there was because he asked a friend who was an alumnus, and he highly recommended it. That friend later became the Prime Minister of Singapore. So I ended up in Catholic school, and I learned the Lord’s Prayer by heart, and thought I knew what church service meant.
But, oh boy, this was different.
Catholic High School in Singapore, back when I was attending it.
I found that Pentecostal church service was not boring at all, to say the least. They had energetic music, the pastor spoke like a pro, everybody “spoke in tongue”, and there was a lot of crying. A lot of crying. I saw for myself how it worked.
Every week, these people would come seeking relief from their emotional pain, hoping to flush it away. Whoa.
Never mind that there were no answers here that made any sense to me, this was a place I could come to and cry every week to flush out my pain for the week.
I was impressed.
The week after that, I met a Tibetan Buddhist nun, Venerable Sangye Khadro. I asked her, “I went to church, I saw how they relieved their suffering. What is there in Buddhism that helps us deal with suffering?”.
Her answer was, “All of Buddhism is about dealing with suffering.”
It was like suddenly, somebody opened the floodgates and a million tons of water came gushing in thunderously.
I immediately understood. I knew I was near to whatever I was seeking.
Finding solace in Dhamma and meditation
Coincidentally, the venerable was scheduled to give a talk in my university the following week, which I made a point to attend. In the middle of her talk, she uttered one sentence, “It is all about cultivating the mind.”
The moment I heard that, everything in my life made sense to me. Everything.
I told myself, “From this moment on, right here, right now, I am a Buddhist.” I have never looked back. It was the best decision I have ever made.
Venerable Sangye Khadro
In the months that followed, I learned Buddhist meditation. It changed my life. The first truly life-changing experience for me was sitting in meditation in an alert and relaxed state, then experiencing a gentle joy enveloping my entire body and mind for about thirty minutes.
I learned later that what I experienced was not magical at all. I had simply experienced the mind without its usual layer of constant agitation.
Without agitation, the mind returns to its default state, and the default state of the mind is joy. With that, I saw clearly how Buddhism would be the solution to my misery.
The journey continues
I am happy to report that since then, I had released myself from depression, I was no longer suicidal. I had found meditation and the Buddhist view of the meaning to life.
I went on to have a successful career as an early engineer at Google, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu nominated the One Billion Acts of Peace campaign I co-chair for the Nobel Peace Prize.
Yeah, things kind of worked out for me. And I never had to reject science, nor force myself to blindly believe in anything that did not make any sense to me. Buddhism was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Laureate
WISE STEPS:
Meditate Regularly: Embrace the transformative power of meditation to cultivate a peaceful mind.
Seek Guidance: Connect with experienced practitioners or monks for deeper insights into Buddhist philosophy.
Wholesome Wednesdays (WW): Bringing you curated positive content on Wednesdays to uplift your hump day.
To all our Singapore readers.. happy national day! Today we reflect on what Buddha advised a king on how nations come together and how they weaken. In addition, we look at the diverse nation we live in. May we always grow in the path of peace!
1. Following these 7 principles fosters harmony in a nation. Buddha’s advice to a king.
2. A Fresh Take on Different Faiths in Singapore
Following these 7 principles fosters harmony in a nation. Buddha’s advice to a king.
Image of King Ajatashatru, who wanted to invade a country
What’s going on here & why we like it
Buddhist Door, a blog focused on Buddhist stories, shares how Buddha advised a king to NOT invade a country because that country followed 7 principles that strengthened unity. One of them includes protecting the rights and safety of women! Buddha was being skilful in dissuading the young king as it would have led to unnecessary bloodshed. However, the ultimate outcome was one that ended with blood on the streets.
As they quarrelled among themselves, their united front collapsed. This time the clever minister sent a message to King Ajatasattu: “Now is the time to attack.”
Wise Steps
Yes, you probably are not running a nation but rather part of an organisation (work/ community/ youth group). Reading these 7 principles is still useful in the way of running these groups that you work with. What are some ways you can implement them? What are some missing pieces in your organisation?
Ophelia, a HOL contributor, shares her thoughts on national day and how there are different colours of religions coming together in the melting pot of Singapore. She explores how different acts in religions converge towards similar meetings. If we could all look deeper, we just might learn something new!
It is natural to agree and disagree; to identify and cluster, what more to differentiate and – god forbid – discriminate. Yet, how often do we understand each other?
Wise Steps
Take a chance to know more intimately the rituals of other religions, you might learn something new and shed away prejudices that you held!
Wholesome Wednesdays (WW): Bringing you curated positive content on Wednesdays to uplift your hump day.
Famous Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh, who taught Dhamma to many in Europe/USA, has passed. We share one snippet story in his exemplary life. Here is one of his many quotes that he shared towards the end of his life:
“Please do not build a stupa for me. Please do not put my ashes in a vase, lock me inside and limit who I am. I know this will be difficult for some of you. If you must build a stupa though, please make sure that you put a sign on it that says, ‘I am not in here.’ In addition, you can also put another sign that says, ‘I am not out there either,’ and a third sign that says, ‘If I am anywhere, it is in your mindful breathing and in your peaceful steps.”‘
Life is fleeting, may we strive on with diligence!
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2 stories for you today!
1.Two religious people meet from different spiritual paths…what happens next?
2.How we grow our empathy at work and at home?
A famous pastor & monk meet. Here’s what happened next.
Geneva, May 1967
What’s going on here
Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen monk, recollects his meeting with Martin Luther King (MLK) and how Thich Nhat Hanh was inspired by the meeting. They eventually signed a statement to recognise the need for peace in Vietnam.
Why we like it
Holy people from other paths can inspire us only if we are open to seeing their goodness. While both are from vastly different spiritual traditions, they connected deeply to the goodness of humanity. This short article summarises why MLK was inspiring and how these two men found similarities between them.
Our enemy is not outside of us. Our true enemy is the anger, hatred, and discrimination that is found in the hearts and minds of man.
Wise Steps
We can always choose to see ‘us’ in ‘others’. Opening up our receptiveness to other beliefs can open us up to different sources of inspiration
Side note: We also watched one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s films, read the review here!
Empathy is more than ‘active listening’. Here is what it is and is not.
Unsplash
What’s going on here
@gwenlynewrites , an Instagram writer, shares 3 lessons on empathy she learned from work-life. She shares how we can integrate empathy into all our conversations and become better people!
Why we like it
It is a short but powerful carousel post on what empathy is and isn’t. We particularly like how some of the preconceived ideas of empathy were debunked by the author such as active listening and ‘putting yourself in someone’s shoe’
“Empathy isn’t just active listening. Empathy is also about appreciation”
Wise Steps
Don’t just active listen and paraphrase what the speaker says. Appreciate them for their courage to share. Don’t assume their situation, be ready to listen and not advise.
This teaching is extracted from the Q&A section of a lecture by Sis Sylvia Bay at Buddhist Fellowship Singapore: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWfoq…. The following is a transcript of the above video with edits.
Transcript
There is no one word that can sum up the Dhamma.
Once you try to categorise the Dhamma, you would run into some difficulties. Because every word that you use and every concept that you have, whether you call it a philosophy or a science or a way of life, every word comes with it a baggage of ideas in people’s minds.
So, when you use a word to sum up the Dhamma, what you will end up unwittingly doing is causing others to come straight away from that angle and that angle only. Hence, if you say that the Dhamma is a Philosophy, and then the mind would go into thinking about the philosophy as per how you know it.
I think it (such definition) is not fair, and it is really quite incomplete. The Dhamma is way more than science, and philosophy, and a way of life. Depending on the individual, the Dhamma can be all of the above.
Personally, for me, the Dhamma is reality. To me, Dhamma explains the reality of the world, it explains how the mind works, and how the world works. It explains what is meaningful, and what is most precious in life.
To me, a religion is a relationship between man and divinity. In a religion, there is a God who sets in place certain rules and expected conduct — the rights, the wrongs, the whys, the explanations. Everything is set within that religion, and people play by the rules that is established within that religion.
Buddhism has no God. So, to me straight away, this is not a religion. It’s far more than that.
