TLDR: Getting a job can be tedious and gut-wrenching. You are not alone. Your job search has similarities to a video game! Both have an end goal (getting a job), limited resources (time and financial pressures), and mini-bosses (rounds of interviews).
The Job Search Video Game
Treating the job search as a video game helps you see it from a different perspective. Why a video game?
Well, here are some similarities: here is the end goal (getting a job); there is time pressure (e.g., financial pressures from that home loan); there are the mini-bosses (interviews) that you need to get through; and you are constantly experimenting and changing tactics from unsuccessful tries till you succeed (get the job).
Background:
A change in management and corporate objectives resulted in a toxic work environment. I was placed on a performance improvement plan due to a disagreement with upper management.
It took me six months to get a job offer, four months of which I continued working at the company while applying and 2 months stressing without a job. Note that my experience comes from an Australian context, so feel free to adjust it to suit your situation ๐
How I played this game:
Step 1: Mapping (Understanding) the environment
The I.T. market has been challenging, with significant layoffs from companies like Meta and Google, as well as large consulting companies like PWC and Deloitte.
This has resulted in an increased workforce supply in the tech market. To understand the lay of the land, I researched core drivers such as the average salary and relevant skill sets required for the jobs I was applying for.
I also meditated and chanted regularly to have clarity of mind, allowing me to see my situation clearly before deciding to leave the toxic work environment.
I asked myself three questions: 1) Did I want to quit because I was lazy or could not handle work pressure? 2) Was there a way the situation could be improved? 3) Was the management trying to help me improve or push me out?
When I got my answers, I set up a rough action plan and started the ball rolling.
Step 2: Check on your Gold (finances)
The general rule of thumb for spending, recommended by the Buddha, is that 1/4 should be enjoyed, 2/4 should be invested in the business, and 1/4 should be set aside against future misfortunes. (D.N. 31, Sigalovada Sutta: The Buddha’s Advice to Sigalaka)
I used part of the last component to fund this period as I searched for a job.
I discussed my financial situation with my wife, who was wholeheartedly supportive throughout this ordeal.
With my final payout from the company, I immediately paid off three months of home loans and expenses to see my finances with a clearer lens and prevent overspending.
This also gave me a clear runway for how long I had to find a job, adding a sense of time pressure.
Step 3: The Golden Resume(s)
Like a game, you collect skill points and talents along the way. I was applying for two types of jobs and had a specific tailored resume for each.
In the age of A.I., keywords are crucial, especially if recruiters are using A.I. engines to screen resumes.
I optimised my resume with ChatGPT (e.g., search: Key Skills a Technical Business Analyst should have) and added the relevant skills to my resume. I also used ChatGPT for cover letters (e.g., search: Please combine the <Paste Job Description> and <My work experience> to write me a Cover Letter in British English that fits on a page).
Note: Make sure it is in British English, and rewrite it if it is too formal or rigid.
Review your resume every 1 to 2 weeks to improve. For example, I was in the top 3 for an E.V. charging company but did not get the job.
I followed up with the Talent Acquisition team, which mentioned that I lacked data skills compared to the other two candidates. To rectify that, I started to do a Microsoft-endorsed PowerBI course and added the skills to my resume.
Step 4: The warrior monk discipline
To deal with setbacks, I was fortunate to have a strong support structure. My wife was supportive and encouraged me to visit the monastery to change my environment and perspective.
Practising Caga (generosity) by gardening in the monastery and doing good deeds in daily life helped to put me in a positive mindset and lighten my mind.
My parents would send me YouTube Dhamma talks when I was unsuccessful at getting some jobs #AsianParentLove
Going to the gym 4 to 5 times a week helped to keep the endorphins flowing and maintain my motivation.
I set my own KPI of 5 to 6 job applications daily (adjust yourself accordingly, but remember, quality over quantity) and took weekends off. I was flexible but tried to stay as close to the goal as possible.
Step 5: The Bard’s Sitar
Remember to be kind to yourself!
A sitar player who had difficulty in his meditative practice asked the Buddha for advice.
The Buddha and he agreed that if the instrument were too tight, the string would snap; if it were too loose, no sound would come out. But a tuneful sound comes when it is not too tight or loose. (AN 6.55)
Getting a job is hard work, but remember to reward yourself too. If finances allow, have short trips in between. Remember that this is a period that you do not need to take leave for vacations. Silver linings, my friends! ๐
Step 6: The Network Web
Make sure you are in contact with multiple recruiters (I was working with 6). Keep in mind that they have to look at numerous resumes daily and may have a bit of a โgoldfish memory: I would call or contact them weekly to stay at the top of their mind for potential opportunities.
Reach out to close friends and family to leverage their networks to connect you with potential job opportunities.
Make sure your referees are aware that someone might contact them. For example, I was blindsided when an old staff member of mine put me as a referee without informing me, and I thought it was a scam call.
Prepare your referees with a list of dot points on your projects together so they can reference it at a moment’s notice.
Step 7: It’s never GAME OVER.
I would reach the top 2 or 3 in interviews and kick myself when I did not get the job. Getting to such a position is an indication you are almost there.
Remind yourself to trust the process and update your learnings along the way.
I finally secured a job at the same company where I was unsuccessful for another role. I kept in touch with Talent Acquisition, and he recommended me to his colleague.
A few interviews later, I got the job! Luck is where hard work and opportunity intersect. Find different ways to source opportunities. Finding a job is one of the situations where you do not take “no” as an answer.
Some Game Stats:
143 Applications
6 Recruiters
5 Interviews with different companies
Wise Steps:
Network Cultivation: Stay in regular contact with multiple recruiters and leverage your personal network. Prepare your referees with relevant information about your shared work experiences.
Balanced Effort: Remember the Buddha’s advice on the “middle way” – don’t be too rigid or too lax in your job search. Take time to reward yourself and maintain work-life balance.
Financial Dharma: Apply the Buddha’s 1/4 spending rule to your finances. Create a clear financial runway to understand your job search timeframe.
Resilience and Persistence: View each interview as progress, even if you don’t get the job. Trust the process and continually update your approach based on feedback and experiences.
TLDR: Losing oneโs job is a rite of passage for modern corporate employees. Hereโs how Loving-Kindness, Compassion, and Forgiveness can help us ease the pain of job loss.
Layoff news continues to shake the corporate world. Companies do this to control spending and boost profits for shareholders. News of ChatGPT taking over white-collar jobs of those made redundant instilled more fear in peopleโs minds.
All these remind me of one of the core teachings of Buddhism – everything is impermanent. How do we manage the fear and pain of job loss, if we find ourselves in the firing range of unemployment?
Loving-Kindness (Love) โ Be kind to ourselves and others
Our sense of self is often entwined with our job titles. We prioritise our job responsibilities over ourselves. During the COVID-19 pandemic, I delayed my visit home despite the Singapore-Malaysia border re-opening. I stayed back at work because we were understaffed, and I waited for the students to finish their exams.
Is this the practice of the Boddhisattva? Putting the needs of others before myself? Is this self-care if I fail to prioritise my physical, mental, and emotional health?
One blessing of long unemployment is having more time with my family. I spent 5 weeks in Malacca โ before, during, and after the 2024 Dragon Year Chinese New Year! I felt like a young kid again, on a long school holiday.
Given a choice, please choose to be kind. When we suffer, we may lash out in anger and frustration, at ourselves and others. Getting messages about job opportunities, words of concern, dinner treats, or even a simple โHow are you?โ from friends and ex-colleagues can be triggering when we feel anxious and depressed.
I am fortunate to have good friends who care for me. Regardless of my employment status, I can be kind and generous with my words, thoughts, and actions.
โOne who refrains from causing harm by way of body, speech or mind, can be called a worthy being.โ ~ Dhammapada Verse 391
Embodying the spirit and act of Loving-Kindness and Generosity does not require money.
Focusing on our careers, have we taken the time to take stock of what is important? If you are an employee, you spend time annually discussing your Performance Review with your manager. How about doing a โReview of your Life Goalsโ, once a year? As we age, our time with our ageing parents may be limited.
Similarly, our friends or even ourselves may struggle with health challenges โ we may delay health check-ups. We will stay single if we do not prioritise time to meet potential mates. Focusing on other aspects of our lives, outside of careers, is an act of kindness to ourselves.
Compassion โ Be gentle with my pain and suffering
As a counsellor, it was easy to extend compassion toward my clients. Self-compassion, it is a different story. Zen teacher, John Tarrant wrote, It would be a pity to waste a good crisis. This unfortunate job loss presents itself as a โwonderfulโ opportunity for me to practice self-compassion, again and again.
Self-compassion does not remove the financial pain of losing oneโs job or the challenge of paying bills. But, it does reduce the sting of guilt of why I am still jobless after 10+ months and counting.
We have to be wise and prudent in managing our finances to meet our worldly needs. In the Sigalovada Sutta, the Buddha advised a young layman named Sigalaka, to divide his wealth into four parts: โOne part he may enjoy at will, two parts he should put to work and the fourth part he should set aside as a reserve in times of need.โ
Thankfully, as the Buddha advised, I have saved some money for rainy days. Financial planning and having an emergency fund are important.
While I have yet to master self-compassion, I realized how I have been unkind to myself. The practice of love and compassion is incomplete if we exclude ourselves.
I am reminded of a story from the book, Loving-Kindness โ The Art of Revolutionary Happiness (1995) by Sharon Salzberg, a popular Western meditation teacher. Her teacher presented her with a challenge: If she were travelling with a group of friends and strangers, and if they encountered some bandits who demanded that she sacrifice one person to save the others, whom would she choose to โsacrificeโ?
She found it hard to justify surrendering anyone. Not her enemy, friends, benefactors, and not even herself because then it would not be a kind act. And that is the right answer, when oneโs heart is full of Loving-Kindness and Compassion, we do not exclude anyone, even ourselves.
As highlighted in the Karaniya Mettฤ Sutta (the Buddhaโs Words on Loving-Kindness), one should cherish all living beings (which includes us naturally):
โJust as a mother would protect her son, her only son, with her own life,
So one should develop towards all beings a state of mind without boundaries.โ
Karaniya Metta Sutta, Suttanipฤta 1.8
Forgiveness โ Let go of the guilt and blame game
We have little control over our external work circumstances. Stories of toxic bosses and colleagues, companies that prioritise profits over employees’ well-being, etc. are things that we have little control over.
However, human beings tend to seek meaning in situations. We blame ourselves for โfailingโ to meet certain standards, instead of accepting that we are just โunluckyโ to be laid off.
This is a great opportunity to contemplate the Buddhaโs 1st Noble Truth, โThere is Suffering.โ At one Career Talk, I heard the term – โbeing delulu is the only soluluโ – a Gen Z phrase that means โbeingdelusional is the solution,โ in other words, you may achieve your wildest dreams if you focus on it with positive intent. I prefer the Buddhaโs approach, where you see the suffering clearly for what it is. Suffering can spur us to understand its nature and the end of its cause – leading us to practice the Noble 8-fold path.
Spending time feeling guilty, blaming ourselves or others, being anxious and depressed, takes time and energy away from finding a new job! We are responsible for taking the right action to be employable again.
There is hope after a layoff and the lessons that come with it. A HOL podcast by Livia Lee โ โBeing laid off & the life after (Ft Livia, Former Employee @Meta)โ, gave me hope and inspiration on what to do during this challenging period. You may also find this article by Livia โ โ9 things you can do for someone you know who got laid off recently,โ on getting the help you need โ such as asking for LinkedIn testimonials from ex-colleagues to be useful advice. I am glad I asked for it, and I am elated with the kind words my colleagues shared about my work.
We can also reflect on what is important at our next workplace. It might be the people, the work, or the culture. I find PJ Tehโs article – Applying Buddhist Principles at the Workplace, a useful read.
I am grateful for the wonderful people that I worked with in my past jobs. The people we work with can make a challenging workplace more bearable indeed. If we cannot find helpful people at work, we can be the ones who help others, just like how the Buddha lights the path for us.
I recalled Ajahn Brahm’s story about a person who stepped out of their car, into a pile of dog poo. Instead of bemoaning the now ruined new shoe, the person decided to take the dog poo home and add it to the compost pile to use as fertilizer for his mango tree. It is a good story of making lemonade out of lemons.
I had the good fortune of attending Ajahn Brahmaliโs meditation retreat in Batam, Indonesia, in December 2023, thanks to the kindness of a benefactor who gave me his spot at the retreat. I asked Ajahn how to better cope with unemployment. Ajahn reminded me to be kind and compassionate to myself, and that it is not my fault for being unemployed.
Further reflecting on Ajahnโs words, I realised I held on to so much guilt and blamed myself for being jobless. I did my best at my job and supported my colleagues well.
However, my contract was not renewed. I am grateful for this period of unemployment. I reflected on whatโs right and wrong in my life, to improve my life holistically.
The heart practices of Loving-Kindness, Compassion, and Forgiveness hold a special place in my heart. Dhamma is everywhere, and the lessons I am learning are useful for my professional and personal life. I am grateful.
Wise Steps:
Find hobbies that make you happy. Youโve been neglecting your needs, to care for others. It is time to take care of your needs again. I re-discovered my love for writing. What is yours?
Find support in your family and friends. They can hear you out, encourage you, or even give you financial aid to tide you over during the unemployment.
Listen to wise elders, friends, mentors, or Sangha members. They will give you a better understanding and balanced view of what you are going through now.
Note: A special shoutout to DhammaWorks by Kinrara Metta Buddhist Society in Malaysia for offering structured workshops on incorporating Dhamma at work. I was lucky to sign up for the DhammaWorks 8 (2021) when it was offered online during the COVID-19 pandemic. The program inspired me to constantly reflect on how the Dhamma can aid us in our work life.
TLDR: Why quit your job during a pandemic? How do we help our friends who are thinking about quitting?
When the pandemic plunged the world into recession, university graduates felt nervous. The fear of not finding a job or having your job offer rescinded was real.
Hence, to land a job and then quit your stable, full-time job during a pandemic makes you pause and say “Huh, why?”. Yanda has a different take. He asks ‘Why not?’.
Sipping coffee as Yanda shares his story
The Job Hunt Hype
Yanda, a final year student in 2020, took his time to enjoy university while it lasted. He mentioned that “everyone was rushing to secure a job. There was great hype for job hunting.”
It was definitely not an easy climate to be in. Rather than worrying about uncertainty, Yanda volunteered for Buddhist Organisations such as NTU Buddhist Society/ BYN (Buddhist Youth Network). He then took on the job search in his own time.
(No. Yanda doesn’t come from an uber-rich family where a job falls on his lap. He didn’t see the need for an all-or-nothing chase.)
Eventually, Yanda obtained a few offers in the engineering space and took on a role he thought he might enjoy. That is where things changed.
Is This It?
Work soon became monotonous and a routine for him. He noticed a routine of “working, going out for lunch, sitting back down and going home.”
This made him wonder, “Is this it? Is this how I am going to spend my life? What do I want? If I lived to 60 years, will I be content with doing 40 years of the same thing?”
In response to his musing, I mumbled: “Definitely not me.”
His attempt at sharing work struggles with some friends did not yield something he could relate to. They alluded to “finding meaning in your job rather than have the meaning come to you.” It was cold comfort.
I could see his thought process unfold and why that advice didn’t sit well. Yes, there was this sense of job security during a pandemic but it brought little meaning to him. That meaning was nearly impossible to find.
The turning point came when this question popped to mind, “If tomorrow, I am going to die, I would only remember that I did paperwork here and there. That’s it”. That spurred him into action. He tendered his resignation and left the company to the shock of his peers. New hires are usually expected to stay in that job for at least 2 years, but he stayed in that role for less than 6 months.
The Pains Of Change
“I had fear and felt scared”, he gulped when recalling the moment he quit and had no job offer on the horizon.
“So what helped you through the uncertainty?” I quizzed.
The fellowship of his Buddhist circle who listened patiently was what brought him to a brighter state of mind. Friends that were slow to advise but quick to listen to his pain helped him greatly. “That is what mattersโฆbeing there for me,” he concluded.
“Confidence in the Buddha’s teaching, knowing that all these negative emotions would fade,” he added, gave him strength when he was alone. He viewed the transition as “uncertainty at its very core.”
Over the years, having done mindfulness practice enabled him to watch his emotions and to make necessary changes without attachment. That gave him the conviction that it was not an impulsive move but an informed one.
Starting Again
Smiling as he recalled his Buddhist work, “I have done a lot of Buddhist work that brought joy to me. If this (engineering) job doesn’t fit me, what can I do?”
As causes and conditions came together, Yanda didn’t need to wait long for an answer.
“A friend told me that she had an opening at a preschool where they wanted a Dhamma friend to help build the school’s curriculum.” He recalled. He mulled on the idea of facing kids all day and decided to take the plunge.
Yanda is now studying for a Diploma in Early Childhood Education while working to help build the preschool’s curriculum.
“Uncertainty,” he answers immediately when asked what he loves about his job. “What the children can bring to you every day with every interaction presents uncertainty,” he added.
When he dived deeper, he felt lifted about being able to help kids appreciate this ‘thing’ called the mind. Letting them know that there are ways to develop their minds. Equipping them with Buddhist concepts, techniques and emotional awareness to thrive in a stressful world really motivated him.
“Kids are easy to teach, as they are free of concepts,” he quipped. At that moment, I recalled being an inquisitive child, something I felt I have lost along the way. It was interesting to see how uncertainty could bring us pain (job transition) and joy (teaching kids).
Helping Others Start Again
I was curious to hear Yanda’s take on how we can help our friendsโ transition from one job to another.
“There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but what I can say is that this is something clichรฉ,” Yanda shared.
“Listen to them and be genuinely happy for them. Recognise that they took a courageous decision to step out of something that did not fit them,” he added.
On a practical side, Yanda shared that we should remind our friends to also financially plan ahead if they choose to resign without a job offer. As a rule of thumb, one should have at least 3-6 months of expenses saved in cash to weather them through their job search.
His advice was grounded heavily on the Buddhist idea of appreciative joy which is a joy in the achievements/victories of others.
“How can I support you? Do you need resources/contacts?” has been one of the most helpful questions friends asked. I instantly agreed by nodding furiously as I felt that we often are quick to develop solutions without considering our friendsโ needs.
Turning Back Time
“Your first job is super important” is one piece of advice that Yanda recommends ignoring for graduating students. It adds unnecessary stress to the individual. That person may then seek out the perfect job which may not exist.
Having wisdom is crucial in helping us see the world properly. If he could turn back time to advise his graduating self, he would say this: “Have an attitude in life that let the results take care of themselves once I try my best. If it doesn’t go my way, what can I do next?” and โWe are our own boss, only we can understand our emotions and the true nature of our mind.โ
Asking that question gives us the courage to be open to what life can bring. What we can do is to create conditions for success while developing a sense of non-attachment to the outcome.
“Understand we have a mind, and emotions are never truly ours. Just like a cup. The reason why we wash it is that we are confident that the dirt can be washed off. The dirt was never the cup.” he summarised.
It was a mind-blowing summary of expectations and emotions. Recognising emotions as transitory and being at ease with the unpleasant is a skill set we all need as we go through the different changing phases of life.
Yanda showed that Singapore youths are hungry for life and meaning. We need not stay in the same job just to clock a magical number of years before leaving. Asking ourselves “Is this it?” can spark conversations and paths we never dreamt of.
Yanda is currently working in Blue Lion Preschool as an early childhood educator trainee.
