TL;DR: Many young Buddhists face parental concerns about frequent temple visits due to misconceptions about deep religious practice. By reassuring them, demonstrating positive personal growth, and using relatable analogies, you can ease their worries. With patience, understanding, and humor, they may eventually appreciate your journey—perhaps even joining you one day.

“Why do you keep going to the temple? Are you becoming a monk/nun?”

“Young people don’t go to monasteries so often… are you sure you’re not too obsessed?”

For many nominal Buddhist parents, the idea of their child regularly visiting temples or monasteries is unfamiliar and even unsettling. They may see Buddhism as a cultural tradition—practiced during major festivals or when paying respects to ancestors—but not something young people actively pursue.

So, when they see their millennial child attending Dhamma talks, meditation retreats, or spending weekends at a monastery, they worry. Is my child too deep into religion? Is this a sign of something extreme? Will he renounce the world and abandon family duties?

If you’ve encountered these concerns, you’re not alone. Here’s how to ease their worries with compassion, humour, and open communication.

1. Understand Where Their Worries Come From

For many Asian parents, Buddhism is culturally important but not deeply practiced. Their relationship with Buddhism may revolve around:

• Rituals & Traditions – Visiting temples during Chinese New Year, Vesak, or Qing Ming (清明节).
• Pragmatic Practices – Chanting or offering incense only when there’s trouble, such as praying for good health, exam success, or resolving bad luck.
• Association with Old Age – Seeing Buddhism as something for the elderly or for people who have “nothing else to do.”
• Fear of Renunciation – Worrying that going to monasteries means giving up on career, relationships, or family responsibilities.

When a young person actively engages in the Dhamma, it challenges what their parents are used to. Their worries aren’t about Buddhism itself but about the unfamiliarity of deeper practice.

2. Reassure Them That You’re Still “Normal”

Your parents’ concern often stems from fear of change—they don’t want you to become too different from what they know. You can help them feel at ease by showing that:

• You’re still the same person – Practicing Buddhism hasn’t made you distant or withdrawn. You still care about your family, career, and responsibilities.
• You’re not planning to renounce – If they’re worried about you becoming a monk or nun, gently reassure them: “No, I still want to take care of you! I’m just learning to be calmer and kinder.”
• It’s like any other personal growth activity – Some people go to yoga retreats, personal development workshops, or fitness boot camps. Meditation and temple visits are just another way to grow as a person.

3. Address Their Concern About Filial Piety

Some parents worry that deep involvement in Buddhism might make you neglect your duties as a child. In many Asian cultures, filial piety is deeply ingrained, and any practice that seems to pull you away from family obligations can be concerning.

To reassure them, find moments to share Buddhist teachings that emphasise filial piety. For example:

• The Sigalovada Sutta (DN 31) – This discourse describes the duties of a child towards parents, highlighting the importance of gratitude, respect, and care.
• Mangala Sutta – This discourse mentions that supporting mother and father is one of the great blessings.
• Samacittavagga Sutta (AN 2.32) – This discourse explains how difficult it is to repay one’s parents. 

You can gently remind them that Buddhism encourages respect and care for parents, not neglect. If they see that your practice makes you more patient, responsible, and kind towards them, their concerns may ease.

4. Introduce Them to Your Buddhist Community

One reason parents worry is that they don’t see young people practicing Buddhism. They may assume that by spending time in temples, you are missing out on social connections, networking, or building a future.

To change this perception:

• Share photos of your Buddhist friends who are of a similar age group. Show them that you are not isolating yourself, but rather, meeting like-minded people.
• Introduce them to your Buddhist community. If they meet the people you regularly spend time with, they will feel more assured that you are in a supportive and balanced environment.
• Bring them along to your temple or monastery. Let them experience the place for themselves so they can see that it is not as solemn or rigid as they may have imagined.

Sometimes, what is unfamiliar seems extreme; but when your parents observe your experience firsthand, it may feel more relatable.

5. Use Familiar Analogies

If Buddhism feels “too religious” for your parents, try relating it to something they already understand:

• Meditation = Mental Gym – “Meditation is like exercise for the mind, just like how people go to the gym to keep fit. It helps me stay clear-headed and reduce stress.”
  
• Dhamma Talks = Life Lessons – “It’s like going to a motivational talk, except the speaker is a monk, and the advice is about kindness and wisdom.”
  
• Retreats = Silent Getaways – “It’s like a quiet staycation, except instead of Netflix, I listen to Dhamma talks, and instead of Wi-Fi, I connect with myself.”

By reframing Buddhism in more familiar ways, your parents will be less likely to see your practice as extreme or unusual.

6. Show, Don’t Just Tell

Instead of convincing your parents with words, let them see how Buddhism positively impacts your life:

• Cultivate more patience and understanding – If your parents nag, instead of reacting with annoyance, try listening to their intention calmly. Eventually, they will notice, “You used to argue back, now you’re so patient?”
  
• Handle stress wisely – If they see that you are less anxious or irritable, they will associate your temple visits with positive changes.
  
• Involve them in small ways – Share simple and relatable Dhamma wisdom (e.g., “I heard a good story today about how to let go of anger”) without making it sound preachy.

Over time, your parents may accept (or even appreciate) your growth arising from the practice, even if they don’t fully understand it.

7. Use Humour to Defuse Tension

If your parents continue to question your temple visits, lighten the mood with playful responses:

• “You always go to the temple. Are you obsessed?” 
  • “Better obsessed with inner peace than gossip and drama, right?”
    

• “You go on retreat so much. Do you want to be a monk/nun?”
  • “No, I still need to work and pay bills! Just need some quiet time.”
    
• “So young go temple–very weird!”
  • “Better now than wait until retirement, right? Got an early-bird discount for wisdom!”

A well-placed joke can diffuse tension and make the conversation less confrontational.

Final Thoughts: Be Patient With Their Worries

If your parents still don’t fully accept your Buddhist practice, that’s okay. They may need time to adjust—just as you need time to develop your own path.

The goal isn’t to make them agree with you, but to reassure them that your choices are positive and meaningful.

Our parents’ concerns often come from love and fear of the unknown. With patience, understanding, and a little humour, we can show them that Buddhism is not about withdrawing from life—it’s about living it with greater wisdom, kindness, and clarity.

And who knows? One day, they might just surprise you by asking, “Next time you go to the temple… can you bring me along?”

Wise Steps:

1. Reassure with Actions & Words – Show them you’re still committed to family, career, and responsibilities while practicing Buddhism.
2. Make It Relatable – Use familiar comparisons like meditation as mental fitness or retreats as quiet getaways.
3. Involve Them Gradually – Share small insights, introduce them to your community, or invite them to a casual temple visit.