TLDR: Sharing mistakes made as a former Buddhist Youth Leader and how you can avoid repeating it. Explore ways of becoming a better Buddhist youth leader in the Buddhist context. 

I used to be a leader of a Buddhist youth group in Malaysia. I took the role as a committee member as I was looking up to the past leaders and I wanted to learn leadership and management skills. 

From brilliant to breakdown

Yet 2 years into my committee role, things didn’t turn out well. During the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, I first started my role as a committee member. Not only did the whole team have to face the difficulties of transitioning and running online activities, but our number of participants has dropped significantly. 

We tried to come up with “brilliant” online activities to attract people, however, it was little to no avail. This led to low morale and members started to leave without new participants coming in. 

As the mismanagement and unwise decisions continued to be made, I left. I became a free bird, free from all the stress, conflict, and tired state of mind. I could enjoy the beautiful scenery of the Danube with the Baroque and Gothic castles surrounding the area as I pursue my studies. 

However, deep in my heart, I still strongly connected with the Dhamma (Buddha’s teachings). Hence, after talking to my kalyāṇa-mittas (virtuous friends) and doing some reflection during my summer break in Malaysia, I came up with a few things I would do differently if I could turn back time to take up the responsibility of a Buddhist youth committee member again.

Value-add

I met Brother Heng Xuan at a recent retreat, and he told me that the success of the Dhamma Assembly for Young Working Adults, Singapore (DAYWA) was due to the emphasis on adding value to people.

It is something very logical, however, I kept missing this important point by focusing on attracting as many people as possible to make the organisation look successful and to make myself look successful too. Hahaha, so much greed for the wrong thing, so much dukkha (suffering)! 

After the first rains retreat, the Buddha instructed the first 60 Arahants to share the Dhamma for the welfare and happiness of the many.

I too would advise myself to continuously reflect upon this and use this as a guide to conduct Dhamma activities in the future, to add value not just for the participants but also to myself. 

“Wander forth, mendicants, for the welfare and happiness of the people, out of sympathy for the world, for the benefit, welfare, and happiness of gods and humans. Let not two go by one road.”

~The Buddha

Let go of Ego, and attachments to fixed views (especially false ones)

Back when I was the leader, I had many ideas that I thought would benefit and be helpful to the youth group. I believed that my ideas were the right way and should be implemented. 

However, this led to me being narrow-minded and hard to work with. Therefore, many conflicts and arguments happened between me and the other committee members. 

During the recent DAYWA retreat in Malaysia, Sister Sylvia mentioned that when one is attached to ideas or views, dukkha will arise. Looking back, I can confirm that Sister Sylvia is right. I felt very uneasy and unsatisfied with how things were going and it has caused frustrations among the committee members.

If I could be the leader again, I would be more lenient and accepting of other people’s views and ideas as long as the things suggested would add value to people and are aligned with the Dhamma.  

Focus on sharing wholesome ideas rather than teachings

Also during the DAYWA retreat, Sister Sylvia advised us to focus on sharing wholesomeness rather than teaching as some aspects of the Dhamma (Buddha’s teaching) may be quite difficult to comprehend. 

As I am still on the long journey of practising and understanding the Dhamma, far from being an expert, trying to teach heavy topics, would likely result in teaching the wrong thing.

I would also be more deluded as the false idea would leave an imprint in my mind. 

Focusing on sharing wholesomeness would be more suitable because it is easier to understand and we can practise it. These can include an act of kindness, being mindful of our speech and actions, being respectful of our teachers, and upholding the 5 precepts. 

Practice with Kalyana-Mittas

Lastly, I want to emphasise this point because not every committee member of a Buddhist group has the intention of practising the Dhamma. However, this does not mean that they have bad intentions, rather their intentions are wholesome too, such as wanting to volunteer for the community. 

As the conditions for them to practise the Dhamma (Buddha’s teachings) may not be right yet, expecting and “forcing” them to practise strictly might bring a negative effect.

However, one does not need to feel dejected. You can always find or surround yourself with the right kalyāṇa-mitta (virtuous friend)!

By surrounding ourselves with people having a common interest in practising the Dhamma, we could gain more motivation to practise and learn more consistently. Soon, you may realise that they are also the ones to help us gain deeper insight and experience more “ah-ha!” moments. 

While we cannot change the past, we can certainly learn from it and apply those lessons to our present and future endeavours. These are the lessons I will keep with me and the qualities I will cultivate when being a part of any organisation in the future.

---

Wise steps:

1. Think about how to add value to people when planning activities.
2. Let go of our ego and mindset that our ideas are the best, and be open-minded to other people’s ideas
3. Focus on sharing wholesomeness instead of trying to teach
4. Never forget to practise the Dhamma (Buddha’s teaching) with your kalyāṇa-mitta