TLDR: Drinking is a precept that some Buddhists struggle with. This isn’t a story about being perfect. It’s about slipping, pausing, and choosing a different path again and again.
Picture this: There I was, drink in hand at every social gathering, chasing that magical buzz that alcohol promised. The irony? I couldn’t stand the taste of any alcoholic drink – not beer, wine, or spirits. Yet there I was, drinking to feel that euphoric high, to fit in, to be “fun”.
The Tug of War between my practice and fitting in
But as my Buddhist practice deepened, I began questioning this habit, especially when confronting the Fifth Precept’s call for complete abstinence from intoxicants.
The FOMO on social connections initially held me back. How would I navigate celebrations, networking events, or simple gatherings where alcohol was central? I continued with my social drinking habits, but the once euphoric “high” I experienced now comes with the baggage of hiri and ottappa tugging at my consciousness.
This nagging guilt about the Fifth Precept at the back of my mind soon became something which I couldn’t simply ignore. I want to be a so-called “good” Buddhist and live up to the precepts, yet I wasn’t fully convinced of the motivation behind it.
These frustrations, coupled with superficial guilt, eventually led me down a rabbit hole of reflections that completely transformed my perspective as I began to question why the Buddha included alcohol abstinence among the five basic ethical guidelines for lay Buddhists.
Intoxicating the Mind and Its Consequences
First, let’s talk about why the Buddha included alcohol in the five precepts. Here’s the kicker – it’s not just about the alcohol itself. The Fifth Precept is like a protective shield for the other four precepts (abstaining from killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, and lying). Think about it: how many times have you (or someone you know) done something you later regretted while under the influence?
When we drink, our judgment becomes impaired, making it easier to break the other guidelines. It’s a domino effect – one drink can lead to loosened inhibitions, potentially resulting in actions we’d normally avoid.
Stubborn me then argued: but I know my alcohol tolerance level and I have never gotten drunk before! I only drink with people I trust, I am careful, and I know when to stop, I…blah blah, the excuses go on. I tried to find loopholes and a way out of this 5th precept, which I saw as bothersome and limiting to my social experience. I was never convinced.
How my relationship with the fifth precept evolved
The life-changing transformation began in Dec 2021 when I participated in a 6-day meditation retreat with Ajahn Brahm. It was unfortunately in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic, and Ajahn Brahm appeared only through a screen.
Throughout the retreat, Ajahn Brahm guided us on meditation, did his usual of skillfully cracking jokes while giving his engaging Dhamma talks. We also had the opportunity to raise questions. His onscreen presence radiated wisdom and warmth. One of the many recurring answers on the Q&A sessions was on following the 5 precepts as a prerequisite for the protection of peace in our lives. Ajahn Brahm definitely drilled that message into my mind!
As a struggling beginner meditator, the retreat’s gentle structure, coupled with some consistent meditation sessions, set the conditions for calmness and clarity of my mind. My usual battles with physical discomfort or trying to hold out one extra minute to clock into Insight Timer, the meditation app, melted away.
For the first time, I touched a sense of peace I never knew existed. Apart from the joy that came with the sits, the lunchtime Dhamma discussions with fellow kalyanamittas uplifted my mind.
Then came the moment of clarity, which was crystal clear and overwhelming: I wanted to surround myself with people like them. I wanted to BE like them. They were all pushing towards what the Buddha said to be skilled in goodness, humble, kind and patient and not do things that the wise might later reprove.
I longed to live free from moral shame or guilt. I made a firm resolution to translate this admiration and gratitude into action. As Ajahn Brahm led us in taking the Three Refuges and Five Precepts, I knelt before the Buddha statue, tears flowing freely down my cheeks. With a trembling voice but a steady heart filled with admiration, I chanted the refuges and precepts, each word a stepping stone toward a more dedicated practice. I bowed to the Triple Gem with newfound faith and sincerity.
The journey to being alcohol-free was far from smooth
The sudden surge of energy fueling the right effort got me into self-doubt if this is only a short-lived enthusiasm. True enough, the journey towards a zero alcohol intake is not always a smooth sailing one. I held my ground in many social events, ensuring that my determination stood strong and not just a fleeting interest.
Of course, there have been lapses. I am only a human trying to be better. There were times when I hung out with friends and found myself in a bad mood or overwhelmed by life’s stresses. In those weak moments, my mental resolve crumbled, and I fell back into old habits, drinking to numb the frustration.
Yet, amidst these setbacks, I reminded myself that the precepts are not meant to be kept only when it is convenient. They are not mood-dependent. Each relapse taught me about resilience and the importance of bouncing back stronger.
I strive to cultivate a robust mental resilience, knowing these challenges are part of the journey. I dare say that it takes a lot more now to persuade me to take even a sip of alcohol than it was before.
Guess what? I’m still the life of the party with my cocktail-loving crew. But with a twist – the FOMO no longer knocks on my consciousness. Instead of holding on to my usual hard liquor, I rock on to mindfulness with the same swag.
The same glass that once contained my headlessness is now replaced by mindful orange juice. I am not left out in conversations, still as present, if not more so. When everyone raises their glasses for a toast, my OJ joins the symphony of ‘cheers’ with just as much sparkle.
Luckily for me, the beauty of authentic friendships revealed itself when I shared with my friends that I am on a “sobriety streak”. To my pleasant surprise, my colleague even shared with me their personal experiences having a partner who is on the same journey and cheered me on!
Of course, there are always those well-meaning friends who wanna try their luck with the “just one won’t hurt!” – you know the type.
For them, I would dodge the request with a gentle wave of my car keys like a magical talisman, “Can’t. Am driving tonight, sorry!” You might be surprised how this simple strategy gracefully deflects even the most persistent drinkers without dampening the social mood.
How mental clarity strengthens my resolve for change
In this process, I saw myself having to put in less effort to tame the restless mind during meditation. My mind is clearer, and natural joy emerges. I discovered that the real “high” comes from being fully present in the here and now.
The absence of guilt and remorse tugging at my inner voice might have played a part in a quieter mind space. I greatly appreciate a more peaceful and clear moral compass that this decision has given me.
Whether viewed through the lens of health, spiritual practice, or ethical conduct, there’s no logical reason to continue drinking alcohol. The reasons for being a social drinker are shaky at best – if alcohol is needed to lubricate interactions, doesn’t that suggest that the company itself is.. uninspiring?
It puts to question our choice of company. Hence, the benefits of abstinence far outweigh any temporary pleasures or social conveniences that drinking might offer me.
Try taking a break from alcohol. Watch how your meditation deepens, and conversations with friends become more interesting. You might just discover, as I did, that it is more liberating than you can imagine.
The journey to clarity begins with a single choice – why not make it today?
Wise Steps:
1. Reflect Honestly on Your Relationship with Alcohol
Take time to observe why you drink — is it for social acceptance, stress relief, or habit? Ask yourself if alcohol truly enhances your experiences or if it masks discomfort. Journaling or mindful observation during social events can help reveal patterns and motivations.
2. Associate with the Wise
If you’re inclined, delve into spiritual or philosophical teachings (like the Buddhist Five Precepts) to anchor your decision. Surround yourself with like-minded people or attend retreats and discussions that reinforce values of mindfulness, clarity, and compassion.
3. Gentle on Yourself
It is okay to fail and try again. Don’t beat yourself up about it just because you gave in to Mara. We are all a work in progress because we are no Arahants (yet)… We try to the best of our abilities, and sometimes that is good enough.
Links and local resources if you or someone requires support:
National Addictions Management Service (NAMS): 6-RECOVER (6-7326837) [email protected]
WE CARE Community Services Ltd: 3165 8017 [email protected]
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): +65 8112 8089
The Cabin: +65 3158 7621
Abhisanda Sutta: Rewards (AN 8.39)
Sigalovada Sutta (DN 31)
Mahanama Sutta (AN 8:25)
