TLDR: Sharing the Dhamma requires skill and sensitivity. Discover five common mistakes to avoid when introducing others to the Dhamma.
As Buddhists, we often feel inspired to share the teachings that have brought us peace and insight. However, in our enthusiasm, we might unknowingly push others away instead of drawing them closer to the Dhamma. Here are five common mistakes to avoid when sharing Buddhist wisdom with others:
1. Forcing the Dhamma on Others
One of the most frequent errors is trying to impose Buddhist teachings on those who aren’t interested or ready. We might have the best intentions, but forcing our beliefs on others often backfires.
Remember, the Buddha himself emphasised the importance of personal discovery. He encouraged questioning and first-hand experience rather than blind faith. When we push too hard, we risk creating resistance and resentment.
Instead, lead by example. Let your actions and demeanour reflect the benefits of Buddhist practice. When others notice positive changes in you, they’ll naturally become curious.
This organic approach is far more effective than lecturing or pressuring others. For example, after a meditation retreat, my colleague asked me to share more and even asked if there was a day retreat he could try because he saw how calm I was after returning.
A ‘not-so-skillful’ example of trying to share Dhamma is my encounter with an auntie. I funnily recalled an auntie at a temple telling me how metta (loving kindness) is important as she swatted and killed mosquitoes. If I was new to Dhamma, it would definitely be a bizarre experience.
2. Using Too Much Jargon
Buddhism has a rich vocabulary, often in Pali or Sanskrit. While these terms are precise and meaningful, they can be off-putting to newcomers.
Using too much specialist language can make the Dhamma seem inaccessible or overly complex.
When sharing with others, especially those new to Buddhism, use simple, everyday language. Explain concepts in relatable terms and use familiar analogies. For instance, instead of talking about ‘dukkha’, you might discuss the universal experience of dissatisfaction or stress.
Remember, the goal is to make the teachings understandable and applicable, not to showcase your knowledge of Buddhist terminology. Often, I start to talk about meditation as mindfulness rather than Samadhi which would help ease someone into the Dhamma.
3. Neglecting Context
The Buddha tailored his teachings to his audience, considering their background, understanding, and needs. This skillful approach is often overlooked when sharing the Dhamma.
We might quote Buddhist scriptures or share profound teachings without considering whether they’re relevant or comprehensible to our listeners. This can lead to confusion or misinterpretation.
Always consider the context. What is your listener’s background? What are their current concerns or interests? Adapt your message accordingly. A friend going through a breakup does not need to know dependent origination but rather might just need a hug. Never leave your compassion and empathy at home.
A teaching that resonates with a long-time practitioner might be bewildering to someone new to Buddhism.
4. Overlooking the Practical
Buddhism offers both profound philosophical insights and practical tools for daily living. However, we sometimes get caught up in abstract concepts and neglect the practical aspects that can benefit people immediately.
For many, especially those juggling work and family responsibilities, practical teachings are more appealing and useful.
Focus on how Buddhist principles can be applied to manage stress, improve relationships, or find greater contentment in daily life.
Share simple meditation techniques or mindfulness practices that can be easily incorporated into a busy schedule. These practical tools often serve as a gateway, sparking interest in the deeper philosophical aspects of Buddhism.
5. Forgetting to Listen & Care
Sharing the Dhamma isn’t just about talking; it’s also about listening. We sometimes get so excited about sharing our knowledge that we forget to understand our listener’s perspective and needs.
Effective Dhamma sharing is a dialogue, not a monologue. Ask questions, listen attentively, and show genuine interest in the other person’s thoughts and experiences.
This approach not only helps you tailor your message but also demonstrates the Buddhist qualities of compassion and mindfulness. Remember, sometimes the most powerful way to share the Dhamma is simply to be present and offer a listening ear.
However, if we ourselves are unfamiliar with the Dhamma, it is best that we learn it well ourselves. Sharing the wrong Dhamma or wrong practices can lead to deep confusion about the path. As Buddhist Scholar Sylvia Bay puts it well “We should hug the suttas” if unsure and ensure we up our knowledge and practice before trying to share the Dhamma.
Conclusion
Sharing the Dhamma can be a beautiful way to help others and deepen our understanding. By avoiding these common mistakes, we can become more effective in our efforts to share Buddhist wisdom.
Always approach Dhamma sharing with humility, compassion, and wisdom. Remember the Buddha’s teaching on skillful means (upaya) – adapting the teaching to the listener’s needs and capabilities.
Lastly, be patient. The journey to understanding the Dhamma is different for everyone.
Your role is to plant seeds, not to force them to grow. With skillful sharing, you can inspire others to explore the rich teachings of Buddhism at their own pace. Sometimes seed planted can take even 10 years + to grow!
By being mindful of these pitfalls and focusing on skillful communication, you can become a more effective ambassador for the Dhamma. Your authentic practice and thoughtful sharing can inspire others to discover the inspiring power of Buddhist teachings for themselves.
Wise Steps:
- Lead by example. Let your actions reflect the benefits of Buddhist practice and not just your words
- Consider your audience’s context. Tailor your message to the listener’s background and current situation.
- Offer practical tools. Share simple practices that can be easily incorporated into busy lives.
